


Player Two Has Entered the Game

by billet_doux



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: (but who isn't tbh), Anxiety, BUT I swear this is more of a light hearted fic, Biphobia, Emotional Abuse, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Past Rape, Physcial abuse, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Transphobia, Youtuber AU, clarke is high key for ashley frangipane, clarke is way too keen, lexa and anya are hot youtubers, mentions of past:, ofc all the real people/organizations/corporations mentioned are not mine so yeah, the angst is generally past angst, there are way too many celebrities mentioned in this, this is just a cute au, youtube au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-04-27 00:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 85,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5027203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billet_doux/pseuds/billet_doux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexandria Woods, an up and coming YouTube star, novelist, and public figure for LGBT+ rights, is watching her career skyrocket before her eyes.  Clarke Griffin, a broke college student, is falling in love with the pretty girl behind the screen.</p><p>OR; the one where Lexa is a dork who plays video games and vlogs for money, Clarke's thirst has no chill, Bellamy is a protective brother bear, and Octavia Blake is the matchmaker sent from heaven for everyone but herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I had lots of fun writing this first part, I hope you like it! It's more of the foundation for the story than anything else. So, it's kinda the prologue. Let me know if you like it!
> 
> This originally was created by me as a social media au on my tumblr, prseltongue. So, go ahead and check that out if you want, it's kinda the outline for this story I guess!
> 
> Bascially, Lexa is adorable, Clarke is #thirsty, Raven likes Octavia, and Octavia is oblivious. (Bellamy and Clarke aren't.)

 “Honestly, I don’t understand what is so appealing about this to people.  They just, what, sit at a computer and watch someone _else_ play video games?”

Clarke nodded, shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth.  “It’s entertaining.”

Bellamy snorted, shaking his head.  “How?  Wouldn’t actually _playing_ the game be more fun?  I always used to _hate_ watching you and Octavia play _Super Smash Brothers_ when we had to cycle out turns after we lost that third controller.  Watching is so boring.”

Clarke chuckled then, patting the spot on the couch next to her.  Shoving the bowl of popcorn to the side table and crossing her feet on the plush cushions, she settled her laptop onto her legs.  “Just watch some with me, you’ll get it.  It’s not like when we were kids; these people do this for, like, their _job_.  They make it entertaining to watch.  So, it’s sort of like, you’re watching a scary movie or an action movie or an adventure movie with color commentating.  It’s sort of like football!  You don’t _play_ football, Bell, but you watch it all the time.  Besides, lots of people, like us, broke college kids, live vicariously through the people who actually have enough money to play all these damn games on every god-forsaken console.”

Bellamy took his spot on the couch next to Clarke, rolling his eyes.  “Whatever you say, Princess.”

Clarke quickly typed _‘youtube.com’_ into her search bar, and angled her laptop so it faced Bellamy somewhat more.  “What kind of game do you wanna watch?  A horror game?  An indie game?  RPG, point and click?”

Bellamy grunted, but answered nonetheless.  “Horror.  I guess.”

Clarke grinned then, moving her cursor over to her subscriptions.  “Everyone loves PewDiePie, but, I dunno, he’s overrated.  His girlfriend, Marzia, though,” she waggled her eyebrows then, giving a little smirk.  “That lady is one gift to humanity.  Um, alright, we’ve got Game Grumps, Jack Septiceye, Markiplier, _et alia_.  You go ahead and pick.”

“Clarke, just choose one.  I really don’t—”

“ _Whoa.”_

“What?”

“Who’s this?”  Clarke asked, a pair of brunette girls popping up in her recommended tab.  “They’re smokin’.  _Seven hundred thousand_ subscribers?  How have I never heard of them before?”

“A&L Games?”  Bellamy asked, head quirking to the side slightly.  “Well, I’m assuming one of their names starts with ‘A’ and the other with ‘L,’ but besides that, who knows?”

Clarke clucked her tongue at his sarcasm, swatting his chest with the back of her hand.  She clicked on the profile, a bright header of the two girls popping up on screen.  “They have over one hundred videos, they look like they post every day,” Clarke said, more to herself.  “Mostly indie games, some big names out there.  Oh, Bell, look! They're doing the whole Last of Us playthrough.  _Sweet_.”

“Don’t they have lives?”  Bellamy asked, though his gaze did linger upon the slightly older woman’s defined face.  He had to admit, the two were pretty.

Clarke moved the cursor over to the Related Channels tab, seeing their faces pop up again, though separately.  Opening them both in separate tabs, Clarke investigated.  “Looks like they both run their own channels, too.  They each have nearly a million followers, Jesus.  They must be some of the ones who do YouTube as their job.”

Not being able to help it, Bellamy laughed.  “Posting videos isn’t a job, Clarke.”

Clarke squinted up at him, frowning.  “It can be.  I thought about doing it, well, O and I both did.  If you promote things and gain enough subscribers, you can totally make money.  Not to mention like, half the famous vloggers now write their own books and get involved in music and stuff.  It’s like, the gateway drug of fame.  Look at Grace Helbig, she like, has her own fuckin’ show!”

“Vloggers?”

“Video bloggers.”

“You spend way too much time online, Clarke.”

“I resent that.”

“Because you know it’s true,” Bellamy chided.

Clarke poked her tongue out at him.  “Let’s watch some of their videos.  Oh, they’re doing the new _SOMA_ game.  I’ve heard it’s good.  Wanna give it a shot?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

* * *

 

“She’s completely obsessed, O.  She hasn’t left her computer all weekend.  She’s taken it into the _bathroom_ with her to pee.”

Octavia grimaced at her brother’s whispers.  Wrapping her hands around her coffee mug, she looked into the adjacent living room where Clarke was (still) wrapped up in her blanket watching the two girls’ gaming channel.  “She’s gonna grow mushrooms if she keeps sitting there.  I think a colony of fungi is building up on her.”

Bellamy’s face contorted.  “Ew, O, no.”

“What?  Don’t tell me you can’t smell her stale sweat from across the apartment.  I sure as hell can.  It’s worse than her exercise sweat.”  Octavia frowned.

“Do you generally go around memorizing and distinguishing your friends’ sweat patterns?”  Bellamy asked his sister with a laugh. 

Octavia glowered at her older brother.  “Shut up,” she shook her head.  “You’re gonna be late for work, you better go get dressed.  Also, put on some cologne.  I’m pretty sure Clarke’s stench has latched itself onto every living thing in this household.”

Bellamy nodded, setting his mug of coffee down on their makeshift dinner table.

(It was a large cardboard box as the table, with a bucket and two stools to serve as seats.  Oh, the joy of living as three penniless college students.)

Octavia grumbled once her brother had departed, throwing their empty mugs into the sink before pulling out her phone.

_I swear to all that is good, I’ll kill Clarke._

_Rae Bae:  
what?  why?_

_She found some girls on YouTube and she’s obsessed.  
She hasn’t left the couch all weekend but to pee._

_Rae Bae:  
lmao.  she growing mushrooms yet?_

_THAT’S WHAT I SAID_  
Bellamy thought that was gross  
You’re the only one who gets me

 _Rae Bae:_  
what’re the girls’ names?  
are their videos even good?

_I’m not sure what their names are.  
But Clarke certainly is having the time of her life right now._

“Hey, Octavia!  Can you get me a diet coke?”  Clarke called out from the living room.

Octavia huffed, locking her phone and slipping it into her pocket.  “You’re a grown ass girl, get it yourself.”

“But you’re actually _in_ the kitchen!”

“Go shove a grapefruit up your ass,” Octavia called back, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room.  “You need to move, you’re going to become one of those sad internetaholics who sit on the couch all day eating snacks and gain fifty pounds in three weeks.”

“I have moved!” Clarke said indignantly, pausing one of the girls’ faces on her screen and taking her earphones out.  “I have like, totally gone to the bathroom.”

“Did you shower?”

“…Yes?”

“Don’t lie to me, Clarke.”

“…No?”

“That’s better.  I’m pretty sure China can smell your stank, please go shower.”

“But Lexa—”

“Oh, is that her name?  Don’t want to offend your girlfriend, but she’ll still be there after you shower.  And please actually wash your hair this time; you don’t fool anyone by just getting it wet.”  Octavia joked, pulling the laptop off of its balancing position on Clarke’s stomach and shutting the screen, holding it in her arms like a baby.

“Fine, fine.”  Clarke sighed, throwing the blanket off of her body and standing up.  “You know my secrets, Blake, and for that, I may have to kill you,”

“Please do, put me out of my misery.  I have to babysit tonight.”  Clarke rolled her eyes at the girl, making her way down the hall.

Once Clarke had entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her, Octavia plopped down on the couch and opened up the laptop.  Right away, a brunette popped up on screen, a determined look on her face from where Clarke had paused the video.  She scrolled down, seeing the title.  “ _Lexa plays FNAF 2 (Alone)_?”  Octavia read aloud.  The sound of the shower turning on echoed in the background.  “What’s a fahnaf?”  Without much thought, she scrolled back up, put the earphones in, and clicked play.  For a minute, nothing happened.  She listened to the brunette mumble something about a flashlight, when a piercing scream ripped through the earphones as a horrifying looking (duck? chicken?) overtook the screen and the brunette shrieked.

Octavia screamed, eyes bugging out.  “JESUS FUCK!”  With that, she all but chucked the laptop onto the cushion next to her.

In the blink of an eye, the sounds of two doors being thrown open and fast footsteps were heard. Bellamy ran into the room wielding his belt, and Clarke was trailing behind him, naked and with suds in her hair.  “What’s going on?”  Bellamy asked, shirt half buttoned.

“Are you okay?”  Clarke followed up.

Bellamy turned, surprised at her voice, and immediately groaned, looking up at the ceiling.  “Clarke, I’ve seen you naked too many times, it’s getting to a level of weird,” he grumbled, eyes shifting back to his sister while a red tint made its way to his cheeks.

“Well excuse me, but when my best friend screams bloody murder I want to come make sure she’s not actually _being_ murdered, clothed or not!”  Clarke retorted.

Octavia tore out the white earphones with an indignant screech.  “What the _fuck_ are you watching, Clarke?  I’ll never be able to look at a fucking _duck_ again without having a fucking _panic attack_!”

“OH! _Five Nights At Freddy’s_!” Clarke said, balancing her hands on her hips.  “Great game! Lexa’s doing a great job!  Or, well, she _was_ , but I can tell by your banshee scream that she must’ve gotten killed.  Oh, and Chica’s a chicken.”

“Oh, well that makes it _so much better_.”

“Can we continue this conversation while you’re preferably both clothed?”  Bellamy chimed in, eyes shut tight.

Octavia rolled her eyes.  Shaking her head, she stood up.  “Such a prude.”  She looked at Clarke then, tilting her head to the side.  “You’re lookin’ good there, Griffin!”

“Yeah, thanks,” Clarke responded, nodded.  “I know.”

“You know, most guys would kill to be literally in between two beautiful women, one of which is naked, but the appeal for it kind of goes away when they’re your _sisters_ , so please put on at least a towel or go back into the bathroom.”

Then two voices sounded, “Shut up, Bellamy.”

* * *

 

About two weeks later, once August had drawn to a close and the school year was starting to pick up for real, Clarke had a revelation.

“Lexa is my soul mate.”  She spoke at the dinner-box, setting her fork down.

Raven, a girl in Octavia’s class who Clarke had just met, and for who the three others had to find an additional bucket for her to sit on around the box, made a face.  “Who’s Lexa?”

“Oh!”  Octavia chimed in, shoving some mac ‘n’ cheese in her mouth.  “One of those girls I was texting you about.  The YouTuber.  I have to admit, she is hot.”

Bellamy, sitting next to Clarke on a particularly pink and kitten-printed stepstool, took a drink of his pop before asking, “Why do you think that?”

Clarke shrugged, looking down at her plate. 

(Mac ‘n’ cheese and hotdogs.  You really do revert back to the preschool days in college.)

“I mean, she’s just so _pretty_ and nice.  And she’s funny.  She has this like, quick wit to her.  Her sister, Anya, is awesome too, but like, _Lexa_ , man.  She’s the dream girl.”

Octavia giggled, holding her hotdog in one hand.  “Clarke, please, she probably lives in California with all the other vloggers.  Find some local hot DC singles.”

“You sound like a sketchy porn site ad, ‘Tavie.” Raven mocked Octavia, shaking her head with a laugh.

“Tay-vee?”  Bellamy enunciated the name, looking between the two girls.

“Oh, that’s her nickname for me,” Octavia said, giving a big toothy smile to her older brother.

(Really, it looked exactly the same as how she smiled when she was a kid, Clarke thought.)

“Yeah, and she calls me ‘asshole’ and ‘buttmunch,’ so obviously we can tell she’s the considerate friend who gives cute nicknames.”  Raven chuckled.

Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other, the ghost of a knowing grin on their lips.  “Where’d you guys meet again?”  Clarke asked.

“Well, unlike you and Bellamy, you old farts, Raven’s a sophomore like me.”  Octavia said.  “She’s staying in the dorms across the street with a girl named Echo, who, by the way, Bell, is _smokin’_ hot and dick-loving.  She even plays the drums.  Anyway, I met Echo in my lit class, we went back to her dorm to study, and I met Raven.”

Raven nodded then, eyebrows raising slightly.  With a quirk of her lips, she said, “Octavia tried to make a move on her.  She got rejected,” she took a bite out of her plate of mac 'n' cheese, opting out of the hot dogs. She didn't really do pork.

“That last part wasn’t necessary to add,” Octavia blushed, twirling her fork in the cheesy mess on her plate.  “They could’ve figured that out.”

Raven patted her newfound friend’s back.  “There there, I’m sure there are plenty of hot people out there who would sleep with you.”

“Okay, the shift in conversation topics starts now,” Bellamy cleared his throat.  “I don’t like to hear about my sister’s sexcapades, thank you very much.”

“Please, you’re the one who sexiles me all the time,” Octavia retorted.

The nape of Bellamy’s neck heated up as the tips of his ears reddened.  “That was once!”

Raven smiled.  “I like your brother,” she said, “he’s funny.”

At that, both Clarke and Octavia let out loud guffaws.  “Please, no he’s not.  His charm wears off after you know him for more than a week.  He’s just a big old nerd.” Clarke rolled her eyes.

Raven looked between the blonde and the boy on her left.  “So, uh, what are you guys?  Cousins?  Dating?”

Octavia positively cackled at that, her palm banging on the cardboard table.

“Why does everyone think we’re dating?”  Clarke asked, looking at the boy beside her.  “We’re just friends.  We’ve been friends since Bell was three and I was one.”

“Oh, my bad!”  Raven smiled cheekily.  “How did _you_ guys become friends?”

“My mom’s a surgeon,” Clarke said, picking up her water.  “So, she obviously went through med school.  Momma B—oh, sorry, Bell and O’s mom—was out at the store when her water broke.  My mom happened to be there, still in her scrubs and all, and took Momma B and Bell in her car and started driving them to the hospital, but this one,” she pointed at Octavia with her free hand, “decided to slide right on out as if she were on a slip ‘n’ slide.”

“EW,” Bellamy moaned, burying his face in his hands.  “Did not need that imagery.”

“ _Anyway_ , O was coming out fast, and since it was mid-December in DC, the roads were horrendous.  They couldn’t get anywhere with the amount of snow that was out, so my mom had to pull over and phone for an ambulance.  Lo and behold, Octavia Camilla Blake was born on December 20th, 1996 in the backseat of my car, delivered by my mom.”

Raven whistled.  “That is quite a story.”

“It scarred me for life,” Bellamy chimed in.  “I may have only been three, but it was disturbing.”

Clarke shrugged.  “I think it’s pretty cool.  My mom delivered the baby, there was a mess, I was at home with my dad probably trying to crawl through the snow.”

Octavia added her two cents.  “The ambulance got there after, and took me, Bell, and my mom to the ER to run some procedural tests.  Everything checked out!  Then Mama G came and checked in on us the next day during her shift, and, well, my mom was pretty much alone in the world.  We were really bad off as kids, my dad left us the day he found out my mom was pregnant again.  My mom worked three part time jobs to support just her and Bell, and it was going to be even harder now that she had two kids.”

Raven frowned, setting her fork down on her plate.

Bellamy nodded.  “So, she asked Mrs. Griffin to let us stay with them for a while, until she could get back on her feet.  She’d pay some rent and offered to do some work around the house.  But, Mr. and Mrs. Griffin liked us too much, they just let us stay.  Mom moved out when O came here, but we grew up essentially as siblings with three parents.”

“It was free-reign for all of us,” Clarke laughed, setting her glass back down.  “They really were all our parents, you could get in trouble from any and all of them.”

“And trust me, we got in trouble from _all_ of them.” Bellamy added.

“And then Mama B asked my mom to be O’s godmother, so like, we’re god-siblings.”

“It was nice,” Octavia smiled, “I have the best family.”

Raven put her hand over her heart.  “My god, you are three big saps,”

In the comfortable silence that followed, Clarke’s phone dinged.  She pulled it out from her pocket, earning a cluck from Octavia.

“Young lady,” she said, feigning being flabbergasted.  “What have your mother and I told you about being on your phone at the dinner table?”

“Shhh, Lexa posted a new video on her main channel!”  Clarke squealed, clicking on the link.  “Oh my god, she’s gonna kill me.  She’s honestly going to kill me.”

“What?”  Raven asked, laughing at the blonde across the box from her.

“She’s wearing a fucking bikini in the tag.  She’s wearing a bikini.  I think I’m gonna pass out.”

Raven’s eyebrows scrunched together as she tried not to laugh any more.  “Gosh, do you guys think her gay is showing?”  She joked.

“More like her bisexual,” Octavia piped up.

 “This one here may be bisexual, but she’s definitely got the hots for girls more recently.”  Bellamy said.  “So, yes, Raven, you’re right.  She’s massively gay.”

“What can I say,” Clarke said with a shrug, clicking her phone locked, “girls are softer and they taste better.”

“Okay, didn’t need to hear that,”

“Bellamy!  Not in that way!”

Bellamy gave Clarke a pointed stare.

“Okay, _maybe_ in that way.”

* * *

In a small apartment in New York City, Alexandria Woods was banging her head against her living room wall.

“You okay there?”

Lexa did not pause at the voice.  Letting her forehead fall against the dry wall one more time, she groaned.  “No.”

“What’s wrong?”

 _Bang **.**_ “I’m nervous.”  _Bang_.

“Okay,” her older sister said, putting the back of her hand against the wall so Lexa’s face fell into her palm.  “Enough of that, you’re going to give yourself a concussion.”

“Good.  Maybe then I’ll land in the ER and not have to do this interview.”

Anya clucked her tongue, grabbing her sister’s wrist and pulling her away from the wall and towards the couch.  “Tell big sister everything,” she teased, taking a seat next to the younger girl.

Lexa looked up, sighing, her head falling back.  “I’ve never been on a talk show before.”

“Well, duh,” Anya said, giving her a confused look.  “You aren’t fucking Kristen Stewart; you’re just some New Yorker with a YouTube channel.  But there’s a first time for everything.”

“Why can’t you come on with me?”  Lexa pleased, her hands wrapping themselves around her sister’s.  “You handle the spotlight better than I do, you should be the one to go on.”

Anya chuckled at her little sister, squeezing her hands in return.  “I have my concert the same time, dipshit.  We’re playing at the bar, you know that.  I can’t ditch the band,”

“Lincoln and Gustus will understand, they’re, like, our brothers!  And screw Indra if she gets on your back again, you can take her any day.”

“Lexa, babe,” Anya said, shaking her head.  “You’ve got this.  I’d just scare people away from our mission.”

Lexa sighed, nodding her head.  “You do intimidate people more than I do.”

Anya gave a wolfish grin.  “Don’t you forget it.  You can be pretty intimidating too, though, when you’re mad.  But Lex, compared to my bitch face, you just exude like, a ray of happiness and cuteness.”

Lexa snarled at her sister.  “No I do not!”

“You get excited about squids and you cry watching _Bambi_.”

“That’s because squids are _cool_ , and _Bambi_ is a sad movie!”

“Deer get shot every day,” Anya deadpanned.

Lexa huffed, earning a soft smile from her sister.

“You know, ever since we started doing these videos…you’re a lot happier.  I’m glad.”  Anya told her sister.

“What do you mean?”

“I know you don’t like to talk about,” Anya paused, before saying softly, “Costia.”

Lexa frowned.

“But making these videos and throwing yourself into your work has made you a lot happier.  I’m glad.”

Lexa was about to respond, to make a biting comment about how she wasn’t even upset in the first place, when her alarm went off on her phone.

“Better get down to the airport.  T minus 28 hours until you’re on, don’t want to be late for your hair and makeup team,” Anya gave a thumbs up.

“Oh joy, people  I don’t know curling my hair and stuffing me into a dress while my face is painted on heavier than clown makeup.”  Lexa droned, slowly getting up from the couch.  “Wish me luck,”

“You’re gonna do great, kid!  We’ll be watching between sets tomorrow night, alright?”

Lexa grumbled.  “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Anya stood and gave her a hug.  “If you aren’t comfortable talking about…you know, certain things, don’t feel obligated.  You don’t owe this world anything; it owes you, yet you’re still trying to fix it.”

Lexa nodded, mumbling an, “Okay,” before releasing her sister.  “Bye, Anya,”

“See ya in a couple days, kiddo.”

As she left the apartment, Lexa slipped on her tennis shoes and grabbed her bag hanging on the door handle.  Taking hold of the small roller suitcase she had propped by the front door, Lexa made her way down the long hallway and down the elevator to the front door.

“Good afternoon, Miss Woods.” Her doorman said.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Smith,” she responded, giving the old man a smile.

“Shall I call a taxi for you?”  He asked, opening the door.

“That would be lovely, thank you,”

In moments, the twenty-three year old was in a small cab, on her way to the airport, her head rushing.

While sitting in the cab in the New York traffic, she checked her social media platforms, checking the notifications on her Instagram.  She started scrolling through some of the comments on her latest picture, a selfie of her and her sister, Anya.

 ** _@missknowitall99:_** _ily!! <3 <3 _**#prettylady**  
**_@lizzy.beth.456: >_** _anya is soooooooooo prettyyyy!!_  
**@officialwoodsfanpage:** you’re so gorgeous <3  post more beauty vlogs!

She couldn’t help but smile at the cute comments some of her viewers left her.  Her gaze, however, fell on one comment in particular.

**_@hotaviablake_ ** _: @princessgriffin is totally gay for you and she thinks you’re sexy as hell_

With a chuckle, she clicked on the “princess griffin’s” profile, seeing it was private, but she smiled at the profile picture of the blonde, drinking a rather large glass of red wine.  She was pretty.  She clicked back, returning to the comments section, and went to the commenter’s page.  Octavia Blake.  Unlike the blonde, her profile was not private.  Lexa scrolled through the pictures for a while, seeing many of the brunette, Octavia, with the “princess” in question.  The blonde really was rather beautiful, as was her friend.

She snapped back to reality when her cab driver pulled in front of the airport.  “Have a safe flight,” she said, smiling back at Lexa in the mirror.

Lexa nodded her thanks, handing the woman her money.

Once she was sitting outside the gate and before she boarded the plane, Lexa sent out a tweet:

_Make sure to tune in to Jimmy Kimmel tomorrow night! Your girl’s gonna be on TV!!_

* * *

Clarke’s eyes widened.

“You good?” Octavia asked halfway through movie night, noticing her friend’s intense look.

“Lexa’s gonna be on Jimmy Kimmel tonight,” Clarke said, frantically grabbing the remote from Bellamy’s hands.

“Hey!”  He said indignantly.

“Shut up, we can finish this boring ass documentary in an hour after the episode!  I don’t know how I missed her tweet this yesterday, oh god, it’s already on isn’t it?”

Octavia laughed at her friend’s excitement. 

Bellamy pouted.  “It’s my turn for movie night,” he grumbled, crossing his arms.

“ _Cosmos: a Space-Time Odyssey_ will still be on Netflix when the episode’s over,” Clarke chided him, running up and turning the Xbox off and the cable back on.  Clarke fervently flipped through the channels until she landed on ABC.

The talk show host’s familiar face popped up on the screen, laughing about something or another.  The three watched diligently until he finally announced the guest of the night, Alexandria Woods.

“No way, she’s actually on TV, how _fucking cool_.  Look at her!  Oh my god!  She’s wearing a leather dress, what the hell—”

“Clarke, shut up and watch your girl crush.”

Clarke shut up.

She’d watched nearly all of Lexa and Anya’s most recent videos, but it was different seeing her walk across the stage, moving so freely, waving at the people cheering her on.  Instead of listening to her talk to a camera, Clarke was listening to her conversing (with someone other than Anya)—something different.  Lexa looked so at ease up there, talking with Jimmy about her channel and it’s rapidly growing success.

_“Now, why do you think your channel and your sister’s channels have gathered so much attention?”_

_“Well, you know Jimmy, I wonder that too!  We started out about fourteen months ago, and we’ve had such huge support.  For the first two months, we had, like, three subscribers, and we considered quitting-but we were doing some sponsoring on our other social media, and it was paying the bills, so we stuck it out.  Then, out of nowhere, in about a year, we gained nearly 800,000 subscribers.  It’s humbling, really.”_

_“So, obviously, the reason you’re here isn’t just about your gaming channel, which has a huge success rate thus far.  It’s my understanding that you have two other channels, a personal one and one centered around LGBT+ rights?”_

_“Yes!  My personal channel is just my name, it’s pretty much vlogs and little cute videos. DIYs, some baking episodes, one or two beauty vlogs.  My other channel, however, is centered completely around LGBT+ rights.”_

“Did you know about this channel?”  Bellamy asked Clarke.

Clarke shook her head.  “No, I haven’t seen it,” she muttered.

_“And it’s my understanding that you have not launched this site yet?”_

_“I’ll be launching it tomorrow when I land back in New York!”_

“That explains it, then,” Clarke said, nodding.

_“It’s a project my sister and I have been working on for a while.  We’ve compiled a bunch of videos already, about several different things.  How to come out, what it means to be part of the LGBT+ community, et cetera.  Some are light hearted and funny, some are skits with other YouTubers, some are serious advice, Q &A’s, and self-help videos.”_

_“Well, we’ll certainly be looking forward to that!  If you don’t mind me asking, why have you taken on this project?”_

_“Well, to be honest, this was a sort of healing process for me.  You see, I’m actually a lesbian.  I haven’t disclosed this on any of my social media platforms or my channel, but, you know.  Here we go, I guess!”_

Clarke’s jaw dropped.

_“You are?  So you’ve decided to take on this project of helping others in the same situation as you?”_

_“Yes!  About a year and a half ago, my girlfriend of four years passed away.  She was only nineteen.  She died due to violence and aggression against the LGBT+ community—Costia was a trans woman.  I was there with her from her sophomore year of high school and my senior one, when she started the transition.”_

_“I’m so sorry to hear that, Lexa.”_

_“She loved people like Mark Fischbach and Meghan Camarena.  She absolutely was a gamer.  So, as kind of a coping mechanism, my sister and I started playing all the games she loved.  We decided to start a channel, and, well, one thing came after another.  Once we hit about 500,000 subscribers, I knew I wanted to do something to prevent this from happening to anyone else.  The crimes and violence against LGBT+ people is horrendous.  I knew now that I had media attention, I needed to make the most of it.”_

_“Truly, that is inspiring.”_

“Oh my god, this is so sad,” Octavia frowned, reaching for Clarke’s hand.  “I can’t imagine going through anything like that.”

Clarke’s heart fell. 

_“So, along with launching this channel, I’m also proud to announce that Anya and I have written a book.  It’s very light hearted and humorous.  It isn’t a sad tale of my first love dying, or of the struggles of coming out.  It’s a fictitious story about a girl who finds herself in Costia’s position:  born genetically as a male.  While it won’t have the same tragic ending as Costia’s—I couldn’t bear to write that all out—it will highlight the effects of society on LGBT+ youth.  Overall, though, while touching on serious subjects, Anya had a huge part in its making—so you can expect it to be hilarious and insane.  It will go out on all platforms on the 1 st of October, and the book tour will start in November!  We want to spread as much awareness for LGBT+ rights as possible.”_

Clarke clicked off the TV.

Bellamy turned towards her once more.  “You okay?”

Clarke handed him back the remote.  “I’m going to bed.”

Octavia glanced at the clock.  “You never fall asleep this early.”

“I’m tired, okay?”  Clarke snapped, getting up from the couch. 

Bellamy sighed.  Once Clarke had regressed into her room and the door had shut with a loud slam, he grabbed his sister’s knee.  “Leave her be,” he said, knowing the girl wanted to go talk to Clarke.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“I think,” Bellamy said, frowning, “Lexa’s story reminded her of her breakup with Finn.”

“Oh.  Right.”

_Violence against LGBT+ people._

“Damn it,” Octavia hissed, burying her face in her hands.  “I’d nearly forgotten about it.  She’s been doing so well.”

Patting the girl’s knee one last time, Bellamy stood.  “I’ll start baking the pick-me-up brownies.  Go hang out with Raven and Echo tonight; she’s going to be crying in her room for a while.  You know she says some stuff she doesn’t mean to when she’s upset about Finn.”

“All the more reason I should stay here,” Octavia retorted, standing up, too, as if challenging her brother.  “You’re not the only one who sees her as a sister.  She’s always been there for me.”

Relenting, Bellamy gave his sister a sad smile.  Wrapping an arm around her torso, he used his free hand to give the short girl a noogie.  “You’re such a sweet kid,”

“Get off of me, dipshit!”  Octavia laughed, trying in vain to free herself from her brother’s bear-like grasp.

“If you insist on staying with broody Clarke, you’re helping me with the brownies.”  Bellamy said, releasing his sister and punching her arm lightly.

“Only if _I_ get to lick the bowl when it’s done.”

“Deal,”

* * *

 

The next days in the apartment were tense.

Clarke left her room only to go to class.  When she got back, she locked herself away, only coming out again to grab her plate Octavia would make her for dinner or to grab a shower.

She ate the brownies, though; Bellamy’s way of knowing that she was okay, that she just wanted to be left alone.

While Clarke was in her three hour chemistry lab on a Tuesday night, Octavia and Bellamy cleaned her room.  It was a cycle, now, that they knew what to do when Clarke fell into her lapse of Finn-sadness.  Really, the three of them each knew what to do when _any_ of them required the little bit of extra care. 

Clarke was always happier with clean sheets, her desk top cleared off, and her room decorated.  While Bellamy worked on washing the sheets and the stray clothes on the ground, Octavia cleared off the desk and pulled out the box of decorations she kept in her closet.  She usually waited until autumn was over to decorate her and Clarke’s rooms, but Clarke always was the cheeriest with her room festive.

Once the sheets and comforter had been cleaned and placed back on Clarke’s bed, the siblings got to work hanging up the fairy lights all across the edges of the ceiling, wrapping around the small, square room.   Pulling out the sheer drapery from Clarke’s childhood bed, Octavia taped the material to the ceiling with white duct tape, encasing her bed as a canopy.  “Looks good,” Bellamy said, scratching his chin.  “Will the tape hold it up?”

“I did this when Finn and she broke up last year,” she shrugged.  “It stayed alright then.”

The sound of the front door unlocking got the siblings’ attention.  Octavia picked up the box and the two quickly left Clarke’s room, shutting the door behind them, moving across the hall into Octavia’s room.  After setting the rest of the decorations down, the two poked their heads out the door, watching as Clarke walked into her room. 

Clarke opened her door and gasped, dropping her bad in the hallway.  She turned around, seeing the Blakes looking at her with impish smiles.  “You guys!”  She said, opening her arms.  The two moved over and hugged her, pulling her close against them.  “Thank you,”

It was nice, again, to see Clarke smile, and Octavia wanted to keep that smile on her face.

That night, once Clarke had sheepishly asked Bellamy if the three of them could finish his documentary from their previous movie night, Octavia held Clarke’s hand and made a decision.

She was going to win the “Best-Friend of the Year” award for the next fifty years.


	2. The One In Which Octavia Is Sent By the Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Raven begin to formulate a friendship; Octavia wants to make a band; Bellamy banishes Octavia to the dinner-box; Echo turns out to be the savior of the day.
> 
> Oh, and Lexa starts to get a crush on the pretty blonde girl whose name she keeps seeing pop up on social media.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you all liked this! I cranked this one out today. Don't expect updates to happen every day, I just happened to have the time today to sit down and put my thoughts on paper.
> 
> Enjoy :)

In the days that followed Octavia and Bellamy’s “cheer-up-Clarke” project, the tension in the air decreased.  Clarke’s normal self returned around a week later, in late September, when the leaves started to fall and the air became crisp.

To Clarke, there was something so elegant about autumn; the way the earth would die, slowly, but leave in its trail beauty and hope for the return of spring.  The artist in Clarke found the yellow, red, and orange leaves to be the greatest source of inspiration for her nature pieces—such variety, such vibrancy, such _hope_ given to the outside world.  The appeal of the crisp morning air and the gentle cool breeze lasted only for a few short weeks in DC; being in the location it was, usually by the start of November, the snow would fall, the trees would be barren, and temperatures would be well below freezing.

All of which, Clarke loved.  But these precious days in late September and early October were some of her favorite.

It was ironic, to Clarke, that the world would die so beautifully.  Instead of being somber, autumn was a time of cheer, of approaching holidays in rapid succession; instead of mourning the loss of life in nature, children danced in the graves of trees, and photographers and artists alike captured the beauty of the decaying earth.  Fall truly was a time of cheer, a buffer for the month and a half of cold resentment for the weather.  The citizens of DC would get the start of autumn as a respite from the oppressive heat of summer, a gradual transition from green to brown, each morning slightly chillier than the last.  Fall proved to be a festive season, the excitement in children for Halloween building from the early days of October; the longing for family tidings of Thanksgiving from the elderly starting in late October; and for all those in between, the promise of Christmas, of first snow, of fairy lights and hot cocoa and mythical, magical beings, hanging in the air.

It was rather hard for a girl who loved the holidays so much to be so sad during these precious days.

As she sat on the balcony of her small campus apartment one morning, watching the reddened leaves fall from the courtyard some yards away from the student complex, a tap came from behind.  Turning, Clarke saw Octavia’s friend, Raven, fingers pressed against the sliding glass door.  Clarke waved for her to come join her, gesturing to the other plastic garden seat on the cramped ledge.

Raven joined her, closing the door softly.  It was still the wee hours of the morning; not much past six o’clock.  Clarke figured Raven must’ve had Octavia’s spare key—there was no way either of the Blake siblings would get up so early to let the girl in.

“Hey, you,” Raven said, poking Clarke’s arm.

“Hey,” Clarke responded, giving the girl a small smile.

After Raven took a seat, there was a moment of silent.  “Octavia told me about Finn.  What he did.”

Clarke’s eyes bore into Raven’s.  Suddenly, you could cut the air with a knife.

“Oh, did she?”  Clarke asked, looking away.  She watched now, as a yellow leaf floated down and joined the growing pile.

Raven sighed.  “I know, I know, it wasn’t her place.  But Octavia cares about you.”

“I know she does,” Clarke whispered, pulling the sleeves of her knitted sweater over her hands.  Balling her hands into fists, she crossed her arms, gathering little warmth against the crisp air.

“Listen, it ended up being a really good thing.”

“What do you mean?”  Clarke asked, suddenly interested in what the girl beside her had to say.

Raven shifted around on the green plastic chair, uncomfortable.  A hand came up to the chain around her neck.  “I hadn’t told Octavia about this until last night.”

Clarke turned at once, concerned by the girl’s tone of voice.  Uncrossing her arms, Clarke tucked one of her legs under the other so as to face Raven better.  “Raven?”

“I met a boy, who goes to TonDC State, about two hours away in Virginia,” she said, smiling ever so slightly, “last spring.  We went on dates all summer, but we decided to leave the relationship up in the air, because we knew we might meet people closer to us, or the distance might be a real pain since we wouldn’t have the time to see each other as much.  So, we didn’t break up, but we agreed to not have a label for the first few months; we’d just, like, test the waters and see if we were capable of handling the distance.”

Clarke nodded, licking her lips to hydrate them from the oppressive wind.  “Raven, what happened?”

“Well,” Raven said, and Clarke could see the tears beginning to bubble up in the corners of her eyes.  “Nothing.  We’ve still been texting.  I didn’t mention it to Octavia, because…well, she’s so oblivious, but for the past _month_ I’ve been dropping hints that I like her.”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile, reaching for one of the girl’s hands.  Raven gladly took it, relishing in the feel of smooth skin against her own.  “Bell and I figured as much,” Clarke hummed.  Using her free hand, Raven swiped at the tear that fell on her cheek.  “Go on,” Clarke encouraged.

“Since we had agreed that there were no labels, and that we could see if we met anyone else, I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong, you know?”  Raven asked, more rhetorically than anything else.  “But I started confiding Octavia in this, because, well, I wanted her to know.  I wanted to tell her how I felt about her, but I wanted to do the right thing and tell her about… _this_ in advance.”

Clarke’s face fell.  “Oh, sweetie…did she…reject you?”

Raven chuckled a little at that.  “No,” she hiccupped, before taking a deep breath.  “I didn’t even get around to telling her how I felt.  She seemed a little upset that I hadn’t confided her in this earlier, but for the most part she seemed _happy_ that I had a boyfriend.  Well, sort of.  A potential boyfriend.  Then she started doing the whole ‘oh my god, girl talk’ thing, where she wanted me to spill everything about him.  So I started to.”

Clarke nodded once more.  “What’d she say?”

“She stopped me right after I said his name.  She got mad, _furious_.  Demanded I never talk to him again, that I block him, change my _number._ Her face….Clarke she looked like she saw a ghost.  She was so pale.  I’ve never seen someone so scared and angry at the same time.”

Clarke’s hand went limp in Raven’s.  She felt her throat go dry.  “What’s his name?”

“Finn Collins.”

There was an indescribable silence that hung in the air.  Clarke’s chest tightened.  The two girls stared at one another for a long time, hands still interlocked. 

Clarke’s jaw clenched.  Raven let out another hiccup, squeezing Clarke’s hand as tight as she could.  “I am so, so sorry, Clarke.  What he did to you—it’s awful.  To think, I was with someone…I _slept_ with, told everything about myself to a guy…capable of doing something like that.  I’m disgusted, I’m—I’m scared, Clarke.  Of him.  Of what he could’ve done to _me_.”

Clarke instantly stood from the chair, pulling Raven out of her own and holding her tight.  “I wish I could’ve known.  I don’t want you around him, okay?”  Clarke said, tears falling down her pale cheeks.  “Stay away, Raven.  Please.  Don’t let what happened to me happen to you.”

Raven cried into Clarke’s neck, and the two girls held each other for a long time.

* * *

The newfound friendship between Clarke and Raven blossomed over the next few days.  Clarke insisted on Raven removing herself from anything to do with Finn, and helped the girl change her number, block him on every platform she could, and move on.

She wasn’t going to let _anyone_ be hurt the way she was if she could help it.

Clarke stood next to Raven at the local Apple store, after previously at the AT&T store getting her number changed and the newest upgrade of the phone, watching as the employee switched all of Raven’s contacts and pictures into her new phone.  While Raven and the short man conversed politely, a certain string of words kept running through Clarke’s mind.

“ _…to be honest, this was a sort of healing process for me.”_

A smile fell upon Clarke’s face; gentle, peaceful even, as she listened to the clamor of shoppers and music around her. 

She realized, then, that as Lexa found her healing process in starting a mission to help people in the same situations as she and her late girlfriend, Clarke had found her healing process in helping a girl who may have gotten trapped in the same hell as she had been.

She’d thought she’d moved on; but clearly, if a few words about what had happened to her made her hide in her room for days, Clarke clearly hadn’t healed.  No; she’d bandaged the wounds with gauze, but she hadn’t remembered to open them, let the air work its natural healing processes on the skin.  She’d pushed the memory away, burying it in mud.  But as anything buried in mud, when it rains, it will resurface quickly.

It looked like Raven, in all her 5’5 glory, had been her knight in shining armor, and Clarke had been hers.

The sound of Raven thanking the employee snapped Clarke back to reality.  Turning, she faced Raven.  “Everything all set up?”  She asked, looking down at the immaculate phone in Raven’s hands.

“Not quite,” Raven said, giving Clarke a smile.  She handed Clarke her phone.  “Once I have _your_ number, everything will be as it should.”

Clarke laughed, typing in her number for Raven.  She left the name blank as she handed it back, saying, “I like when people customize my name in their phones, so, go nuts.”

After typing in a silly string of emojis instead of anything related to Clarke’s name, Raven nodded.  “Alright, I’ll send you a text then, so you have my number.”

The two girls walked out of the fluorescently lit store, right into the middle of the massive mall complex.  Raven wiggled her eyebrows, doing a little dance with her shoulders. 

“What?”  Clarke laughed, watching the girl move around awkwardly.

“Nothing, I just,” Raven’s cheeks tinted pink, “ _love_ shopping.  And what better way to bond?  Masses of stores, hundreds of clothes waiting to be tried on…greasy food to eat…cute chicks to scope out…muscley dudes to appreciate…”

Clarke rolled her eyes, before setting a hand on her hip, point out her elbow for the girl to grab.  Raven grinned broadly, pulling her arm through Clarke’s, and the two walked off, arm in arm, before Raven started rushing to the Forever 21 a few stores down.

Oh, yes, Clarke liked Raven.

Hours later, Bellamy’s face visibly paled as the two girls walked into the apartment, bags on bags in each of their hands.  “Clarke, how much did you spend?”  He asked, sitting at the dinner box, eating some Noodle-in-a-Cup.

“Nunya.”  Clarke grinned impishly.

Bellamy choked on his noodle.

(No, that is not a euphemism.)

 He began flailing his arms around, “Uh, yes it is!  We only get a certain amount of spending money from our parents, and it’s supposed to be divided _evenly_ among us each month!”

Raven waved her hand at Bellamy.  “Pish posh, Bellamy, I covered my girl today.”  She gave the blonde woman a toothy smile, one of which Clarke returned.

Bellamy’s let out a shaky exhale, hand going over his heart.  “I thought we were about to miss out on rent, thank God.”  He shook his head.  “How the _hell_ did you pay for Clarke’s shopping habits?”

Raven shrugged at the boy.  “My family’s well off.  Mom doesn’t care how much I put on her card.  Never has.  Benefits to your mom cheating on your dad with some guy and buying her kids off to not tell him when they caught her, I guess.”

Both Clarke and Bellamy stared at the girl, unblinking. 

“What?”  Raven shrugged.  “Dad knew; he didn’t care.  He’d been sleeping with other women too.  They just stay together because they pool in more money that way.”

“She’s hilarious,” Bellamy chuckled, sticking his fork back in his cup of noodles.

 “She is,” Clarke agreed, shaking her head.  “When’s O gonna be home?”

Bellamy shrugged, looking at the clock.  “I think about six.  Her last lecture started at 4:00, but it’s all the way across campus, so, it’s like a half hour walk.  Hide those bags, though,” he grinned, “she’ll be seriously pissed she didn’t get some retail therapy with her favorite people.  She had a _rough_ morning.”

“Oh, why?” Raven asked, concern on her face.

Bellamy chuckled again, shoving some noodles in his mouth.  “You didn’t answer her texts, Raven.  She was all pouty.  ‘We always eat breakfast in the hall together, why didn’t she show up?’  Then Clarke was gone.  I ate the last brownie.  Octavia lost her shoe.  Just one shoe.  Her ‘favorite’ shoe apparently.  She stalked off to her 11:00 class all grumpy.”

Octavia Blake truly was a character.

“Don’t worry, we bought O some clothes, too.”

* * *

After the appearance on the talk show, Lexa’s (and Anya’s, too) fanbase increased.  Her channel alone hit one million subscribers after she launched a few clips from her talk show experience, and the gaming channel between her and Anya went through the roof.

Anya chuckled, checking their subscriptions.  “1.3 million,” she said aloud, giving a low whistle.  “I told you, people like you, Lexa.  When you open up, you’re so easy to get along with.  People obviously care about what you’re doing.”

“What _we’re_ doing,” Lexa corrected.

Anya shook her head.  “No, Lexa, this was all you.  Your idea.  I am so, incredibly proud of you.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, feeling her cheeks heat up.  “Whatever.  I’m going to go record now.  Just bought _Until Dawn_.  Unless, you want to play it instead?”  She said, walking to the kitchen and pulling the game out of the shopping bag on the countertop.

“No,” Anya said, pulling her laptop from the coffee table in their living room onto her lap as she reclined on the couch.  “It’s not action-y enough for me.  Pretty much all jumpscares.”

Lexa pouted.  Crossing her arms with the disc in hand, she said, “You already watched someone else play it?”

“Mark,” Anya shrugged.  “After you left I filmed four videos.  After my gig, I still had, like, sixteen hours until you’d get home.  What else would I do?”

Lexa sighed, exasperated.  “Maybe, I don’t know, clean your room?  That place is a pigsty.  Or, I don’t know, perhaps tidy up the kitchen?  Do your dishes?  Call up an old friend?  Watch the Kardashians?  I don’t know, fuck the prime minister?  Literally anything else!”

“You sound like mom,” Anya teased.

Lexa threw her hands in the air.  “You’re incorrigible.  I leave the house for less that forty eight hours and it’s trashed.  And you _know_ how excited I was for us to play this!  I hate when you watch games ahead of time,” She said, waving the disc in her right hand.

Anya mimicked a pouty face.  “Wah,” she said, mockingly.

Lexa scrunched up her nose.  “I’ll kill you one of these days.”

“Please do,” Anya retorted.  “I have to bartend tonight.”

Lexa waved her off, walking down the hallway to the spare room, which they’d converted into a sound-proof gaming area.  Three bedroom apartments in New York were by no means cheap, but with their careers launching and their mother supporting their work, both monetarily and by just plain support, they could manage to make ends meet while living in their dream city.

Plopping down at her computer desk, she reached up for the camera, making sure it was on and positioned correctly.  She’s start filming soon, but decided to do some quick checks on her social media platforms.  Twitter went crazy.  Her tumblr flooded.

The last place she checked was her latest picture, a selfie of her behind the scenes at Jimmy Kimmel before she went on.  She scrolled through the comments, seeing an increase in the usual amounts of likes she got.

Again, a certain user caught her eye.  It was from many days ago, but she recognized the username.

 **_@hotaviablake:_ ** _seriously clarke’s thirst for you has NO CHILL she’s been talking about you all day.  She has no frickin idea you’re on TV tonight but damn its gonna be funny to see her reaction when she figures it out._

Lexa would never admit it, but the smile on her face began to hurt as she clicked on the girl’s profile for the second time.

Again, she saw many pictures of her and the blonde from before.  Several more had been taken since Lexa first checked Octavia’s profile; mirror selfies, pictures of Clarke asleep, somewhat rudimentary pictures of Clarke that weren’t particularly staged or cute hashtagged as Octavia’s #womancrushwednesday and #bffsincebirth. 

Clicking on the tagged girl’s profile in almost every single one of the Blake girl’s pictures, Lexa couldn’t help but grin at the blonde’s profile picture again.  She was pretty cute.

Pulling her phone out, she texted her sister:

 _I found the most beautiful girl online._  
_I think her name is Clarke._  
_Her friend @hotaviablake keeps leaving comments saying_  
_that Clarke’s very…enthusiastic about my appearance._

Her sister responded:

 _Ayyy! Go for it, chica_  
_Hot girls are hard to find, especially hot GAY girls_  
_Let alone HOT GAY GIRLS THAT ARE CRAZY ABT U_  
_If you’re down for dating a fan, that is. Follow her._

To which Lexa texted back,

 _I don’t know, her friend’s profile says she lives in DC_  
_I can’t see the blonde’s it’s private._  
_I’m assuming that since they’re best friends,_ _  
_ _that they most likely live close by._

_  
_

_Ay, make one of the places for the book tour DC._  
_Maybe she’ll be there._  
_Nothin’ wrong with a little hookup if you see her._  
_Then you can see if she’s just a crazy fanatic_  
_or if she’ll actually like u for u_

_You my friend are smart._

Lexa grinned goofily, before emailing her manager to schedule a last minute book tour for DC.  Maybe, for once, she’d do what her sister said and think with her heart instead of her head.

It was only after Lexa had emailed her manager that she realized she’d just gotten a solid five minutes of her grinning like an idiot into her phone screen on camera.

That footage would never see the light of day.

* * *

After Clarke had pulled herself out of her funk, and she and Raven become closer, the three girls sat together on Clarke’s bed.  They shared stories for hours, laughing and trying on all the clothes they had bought previously.  It was nice laughing all night after spending a week alone.

“So, buttmunch, Clarke is obviously bisexual,” Octavia said at one point in the night.  “As am I; what are you?”

Raven shrugged, “I’d assume the same.”

“We’re like, the three bi-musketeers,” Clarke said.

“The Three Bi-sketeers,” Octavia said, testing her newly made name out.  “Yes.  I like it.  We’re making a band and we’re calling ourselves The Three Bi-sketeers.”

Clarke let out a howl of laughter.  “Since when are we talented enough to play anything well enough to form a band?”

“Hey, I don’t know about you, Griffin, but _I_ have a way with my fingers.  I can play a bass like nothing else.”  Raven bragged.

Clarke squinted, scrunching up her face.  “Is that an insult on my finger bang game, Reyes?”

“Perhaps.”

“Oh, I can play the drums!”  Octavia piped up.  “Remember, Clarke?  Not very well, but, hey, I can learn.”

“Well, I am clumsy.  I can’t play an instrument,” Clarke laughed, shaking her head.

“You can sing,” Octavia reasoned, tilting her head.  “Your shower performances are alright.”

“Thanks,” Clarke deadpanned, falling on her back onto the plush comforter.

“Let’s make a deal,” Octavia said after a momentary lapse of silence.

“What?”  Raven and Clarke both asked.

“If, by the time we’ve all graduated, we still have no idea what to do with our lives…since none of us know what we _really_ want to do…we’ll just fuckin’ do it.  We’ll form a band.”  Raven and Clarke looked at each other, grins on their faces.  Octavia held up both of her pinky fingers.  “Well, pinky promise me, bitches!”

With a roll of the eyes, Raven and Clarke pinky promised Octavia.

 _The Three Bi-sketeers,_ what kind of music would be played in a band with such a name?

Later on that night, when Clarke had been the first to fall asleep (as per usual with sleepovers, Octavia noted), Octavia tugged on Raven’s shirt as they lay down smooshed together on the other half of Clarke’s queen-size bed.

“What?”  Raven whispered, groggily.

“I have a plan.  For Clarke.”

“Okay?”

“You know how I found out that Lexa’s book tour is coming to DC?”

Raven nodded.  A yawn followed, and she tiredly rubbed at her eyes.

“Well, let’s get Clarke a VIP access ticket.  It’ll be good for her.  She’ll meet like, her celebrity crush; it’ll finish cheering her up for good.  She’ll meet someone else who’s experienced firsthand something she went through.”

Raven smiled.  “You’re such a considerate friend.”

Octavia gave a little laugh.  “You know it.”

Groggily, sleepily, Raven whispered, “That’s why I love you.”  And then she fell into a deep sleep.

Octavia felt a stinging heat creep its way up the back of her neck, but she ignored it, blaming it on how tired she felt.

* * *

Weeks later, once October 1st came around, Clarke bounded home happily from Target, carrying Lexa’s book in her hands.  “I got it, O!  There were actually a lot of people in the store for it.  It’s amazing; she’s getting so famous so fast!”

Octavia laughed over her cereal bowl.

“Hey!  You know the rules,” Bellamy said, walking out from his room to where he heard the girls talking.  “No drinks, dairy, or anything messy on the couch.  Use the dinner-box!”

Octavia groaned, but relented, moving from the couch to the cardboard box.  “Happy, _dad_?”

Bellamy crossed his arms.  “No.  Don’t use that tone of voice with me, go to your room.”

Octavia poked her tongue out at her brother as she set the bowl down on the sturdy box.  “So, did you start reading it at all?”

Clarke nodded.  “Yeah, on the bus ride back to campus.  I’m about thirty pages in.  It’s cute.  It’s really funny.”  She said, running her fingers along the paperback’s spine.  “You’d like it, I think,” she said, talking to both of the siblings.

Bellamy shrugged.  “Maybe after you finish it,” he said, leaving it up in the air.

Octavia’s phone dinged.

After scooping up a spoonful of Froot Loops and shoveling them in her mouth, Octavia rested her spoon in the bowl and pulled her phone out of her sweatpants pocket.  She looked down, seeing a text from Raven.  Her eyes widened.

“What’s wrong?”  Clarke asked, noticing Octavia’s face.

Octavia swallowed hard, forcing half unchewed cereal down her throat.  “Uh, Raven.  Emergency.  We have our calculus test Wednesday, she can’t find her notes!”

Bellamy didn’t buy it.  “O, what’s going on?”

Octavia glanced back at Clarke, who seemed to buy her story, as she had made her way to the couch and had begun reading where she had left off.  Octavia held her phone up to Bellamy with one hand, shushing him with the other.

He grinned.  Nodding, he said, “Yeah, O, go help her with calculus.”

In a flash, the girl had set off out of the apartment.

After a few minutes of silence, Clarke looked up.  “Where’d Octavia go?”

-

Octavia prided herself on being fit.  Most of the time.   Well, she was in high school.  She did play a sport every season, after all.  But once college had started…she’d slacked off.  Big time.

She just never realized how much she’d slacked until she had to run across the street and down a set of dorm rooms and was out of breath in minutes.

“Note to self,” Octavia mumbled, resting her hands on her knees outside of Raven’s dorm room, “go running more.”  With that, she lazily held an arm up, knocking on the door.

Raven opened the door hurriedly, practically dragging Octavia in by the arm.

Echo glanced between the two of them, chuckling.  “You’re very excited.”

“You’re very related to Lexa and Anya!” Octavia panted, point a finger at the blonde girl.

Echo nodded, saying, “Yeah.  Our family is really branched out and weird.  To make matters simple, I’m Anya’s half-sister.  And she's Lexa's sister, but in not biologically related to Lexa. I could go deeper but...”

“Confusing,” Octavia murmured, but nodded.  “Why didn’t you tell us this?”

Echo laughed.  “I didn’t know you guys were obsessed with my half-sisters.”

“Clarke is, not us,” Raven corrected.  “Though, I can totally see it…you guys have like, the most unfair genetics.  What is up with certain families being so hot?  Like, all of you, and then there’s Octavia and her brother over here, who are like, stunning.”

Echo raised an eyebrow.  “Yeah, I’ve seen Bellamy around.  He is gorgeous.”

Octavia winked at her.  “I can set you up.”

“Anyway, why we’re here…” Raven said, motioning for Echo to get on with it.

“I’d be happy to give you four VIP passes for their book tour to come with me,” Echo relented, smiling at Octavia’s giddy reaction.  “Don’t tell Clarke yet, though; they aren’t allowed just handing them out.  You’re supposed to have to win them, there’s like five others that actually are going to be up for contest.  After Raven, here, however, told me about your plan while trying to find the passes online, I told her everything.  A little while ago, actually, Lexa and I were texting, and I convinced her to set up a last minute tour here.  Then after everything Raven said today, I figured, why the hell not?  I could use some company at that thing.  They were going to give me a pass regardless, it’s better than not knowing anyone there while I have to sit and wait for them to sign shit.”

“Clarke will love you forever, Echo.”

“No, she won’t; she’s going to think _you_ won them, Octavia.”  Echo said, face turning serious.  “Lexa can get in trouble with her publicist and her manager if she just hands stuff out and the fans heard about it.  You can enter to win up to four tickets, so, just retweet the damn tweet later tonight and I’ll send Lexa and Anya your twitter so they know to choose you.”

Octavia nodded, smiling wide.  Running over to the blonde, who had been sitting on her small bed, Octavia threw her arms around Echo’s neck.  “Thank you, thank you, thank you!  God, I could _kiss_ you right now!”

“Stiiiill straight,” Echo said, awkwardly patting Octavia’s back.  “Sorry.  But I may take you up on that offer to grab a pass at your brother.”

Octavia pulled back, thinking the girl was joking.  Seeing Echo raise her eyebrows, though, Octavia saw that—well, Echo had been serious.  “Sure!  Sure, yes, suck his dick in my room for all I care.  I’m definitely going to win best friend of the year now.  I’d been like, planning on scouring for the passes and buying them off someone for Clarke, but like, this saves _so_ much time and effort.”

“You really care about her, don’t you?”  Echo asked, looking the Blake girl up and down.

“Yeah,” Octavia shrugged, “I mean, she’s my sister.  She’s been down recently about some stuff and I figured she’d love to meet Lexa.  It’d make her happy.”

“Lexa is one of the sweetest people on the planet,” Echo said, “once you get through her exterior.  She’s either an adorable idiot, or she puts up way too many walls, depending on the time and place.”

Raven’s phone buzzed.

Grabbing her new cell phone off of her desk, Raven chuckled.  “What?  What is it?”  Echo asked.

She simply handed her phone to her roommate.

“My god, this girl is obsessed with my sister,” Echo muttered, the traces of a smile on her lips.

“What’d she say?”  Octavia asked.

“‘Lexa is honestly the cutest person.  She just posted a pic of her signing something for a fan.  She’s so gorgeous and funny and sweet,’”  Echo read aloud, before typing out a reply.

“What’re you saying?” Raven asked, amused.

“‘Clarke, you’re high key stalking her.  Just, like, tweet her or something’” Echo typed aloud.

The response to the text was immediate.

Echo burst out laughing then; the string of fretful emojis Clarke sent back and freaking out over even suggesting such a topic was too funny.

Echo had a dawn of realization. “Hotavia Blake,” she said, eyes going wide.

Octavia gave her a weird look.  “That’s my instagram username,” she said, taking a step towards the girl.

Raven looked between the two, confused.

“Oh my god.”

* * *

In New York City, Lexa heard her phone buzz in the middle of filming.  She jumped at the sudden noise, before looking into the camera and laughing to herself for a moment.  Pausing the game, she spoke aloud, “Sorry, my sister Echo texted me.”  She opened up her messages, smiling at the new message from her not-technically-but-still-in-spirit sister.

 _Echo bo Becho:_  
you know hot blonde girl Clarke  
you texted me about her like, a week ago

_Yeah?_

_Echo bo Becho:_  
_I know @hotaviablake IRL_  
_she’s my roomate’s best friend_  
_and her best friend is the blonde, Clarke_  
_haven’t met her yet, but I’ve seen her w/Raven_  
_ & Octavia_

Lexa laughed a little, feeling her ears get warm.

_No way._

* * *

“Okay, mind telling us what you’ve been texting there?  You drop the ‘oh my god’ bomb on us and don’t explain anything, completely ignoring us when we ask you what’s going on?”  Raven asked, somewhat amused, somewhat irritated with her roommate.

“Lexa texted me a while back,” Echo explained, locking her phone.  “She said some girl with the username Hotavia Blake on instagram commented on her picture about her friend who liked her.  Well, Lexa said she went to the blonde’s profile, but it was private, so she couldn’t see any pictures.  So she went to the Hotavia Blake girl’s profile instead, and saw tons of pictures of the blonde.  She said she was cute.  Then she saw that your bio, Octavia, said that you lived in DC, so I convinced her to schedule a last minute date for her tour in for DC, cause like, maybe she’d see the girl?  But I think Lexa’s worried she might me some…really crazy fan.”

Octavia laughed, slapping her knee.  “No way, this is too golden.  I’m practically the matchmaker sent from heaven for them, oh my god.  I tweeted that as a joke, Clarke got so mad when she saw I tagged her in a comment on one of Lexa’s photos!  She said it was so embarrassing!  That’s, oh my god, Lexa thinks she’s cute?  I’m definitely getting foot rubs forever for being the best friend of all time.”

Echo smiled down at her phone, typing something out.  “So, she doesn’t have a shrine of Lexa’s face?”

“Nah,” Raven said, butting in.  “She’s chill.”

“Yeah, but her thirst isn’t,” Octavia said, shaking her head in amusement.  “She thinks your sister is the hottest thing since the invention of the oven.  But she’s a respectful person.  When she meets Lexa, she’ll behave.  She just lets her fangirliness and her horniness come out around me.  Same thing happened back in junior high—she had this _huge_ crush on this girl, Sandy.  Her first crush on a girl.  Sandy went to another school, they only talked through texting.  Clarke completely let her nerd show around me, lost it.  But when she met Sandy, she was polite.  She knows her boundaries.  She…understands what Lexa went through, I think meeting someone like her even for a few minutes will help.”

“Good,” Echo said, making a face.  “I’d hate to get someone who will cut off Lexa’s hair and put it in a locket a VIP ticket.  I don’t think she’d like that.

  
_WAY_  
_Clarke totally digs you_  
_She’s pretty too_  
_She’s the person for who I asked the VIP passes_  
_for earlier…just realized now who she was_

_Lexa T-Rexa:  
Echo, no way. This is so weird._

_I don’t think she’s a crazy fan._  
_She just seems to really think you’re hot._  
_Once Raven & Octavia found out Anya is_  
_my half sister, they freaked.  All good things._  
_But they made sure to let me know Clarke isn’t like,_  
_weirdly making a shrine of your face in her room._  
_She apparently just thinks you’re hot and_  
_“understands what Lexa went through.”_  
_Raven and Octavia are chill. You'd like them,_  
_they're funny._  
_I imagine Clarke is the same._

 _Lexa T-Rexa:_  
_Still in shock here_  
_She’s super pretty_  
_You positive she’s not going to_  
_be like, some psycho stalker?_  
_People on the internet can be_  
_really fucking weird._

  
_Octavia made it p clear that Clarke will b cool._  
_She just really thinks you’re hot._  
_She seems normal around campus._  
_I say go for it.  She’s pretty. I’d go for her_  
_if I were gay._

_Lexa T-Rexa:  
I love you._

_  
I know :p_

“Done and done,” Echo said, smirking up from her phone.

“Clarke is going to have _so_ many favors to cash in.”

“Hey!” Echo laughed.  “I’m doing the actual matchmaking here.”

“Shh,” Octavia said, closing her eyes.  She held her hands up, palms out.  “I’m relishing in the moment. The cosmos have aligned.  If I hadn’t had left that comment and tagged Clarke in it, Lexa would've never looked at her profile.  If Lexa had never saw Clarke's profile to be private, she wouldn't have looked at mine.  If that hadn't happened, she wouldn't have texted you.  If she hadn't had texted you, there would be no book tour in DC--meaning no Clarke meeting her, like, favorite celebrity at the moment.  You, my dear, are just my aid the cosmos have sent to me to help complete my spirits-given mission.  Your work is appreciated.”

Echo snorted, and Raven doubled over laughing at her new best friend.

That night, Octavia changed her occupation on FaceBook from ‘Student at Ark University’ to ‘Matchmaker.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points if you caught the dialogue parallel from the prologue.
> 
> Don't Lexa and Echo have cute names for each other?
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought in the comments below!
> 
> Come talk to me at jinglehalseys.tumblr.com to request some fics, yell at me to write some more, or whatever.


	3. The One Where Britney Spears Causes a Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's freaking out, Anya wants Lexa to take a fucking chill pill, Octavia and Raven are the best friends ever, and there are way too many celebrity references.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is kind of short! It's pretty dialogue happy, but it's an important character development chapter. That being said, I hope you enjoy!

“This was a really fucking stupid idea.”

“Oh, lighten up, Lex,” Anya said, pinching her cheeks as they stood in front of the bathroom mirror.  “Live a little.”

Lexa threw her hands up in the air, exasperated with herself.  “What kind of fucking _drug_ was I on to think that arranging a _book tour_ in _DC_ only because of some _pretty face_ I saw _online_ was a good idea?  And why the _hell_ did I agree to give her VIP tickets?  Anya, this is, like, literally the start of a murder mystery show.  Someone better fucking call Richard Castle, this girl is going to murder me and I want a good detective to bring the psycho down.”

Watching her sister have a mental breakdown from the mirror, Anya rolled her eyes.  “One, _Castle_ is a fictional show.  Two, he’s not even a detective, he’s just a novelist.  And three, you aren’t going to be alone with this girl.  There will be nine other fans there, and me.  Echo’ll be there, too.  Besides, I think it’s a good thing you did this.  This is, like, the first time you’ve done anything reckless since—”

“I _know_ , Anya, and that’s why I’m terrified!”

Dropping her lipstick with a sigh, Anya turned to face her little sister.  Putting her hands on both of Lexa’s arms, Anya gripped the girl gently, shaking her.  “You need to do shit like this, you’re twenty three.  Live like it.  Do stupid shit, make flash decisions, fuck some girl who’s crazy about you that you’ll never see again.  All kids your age do that stuff.”

“But this is different from other twenty three year olds, Anya,” Lexa said, shrugging the other girl’s hands off of her.  “Other girls my age don’t need to worry about an internet stalker killing them, I kind of do,”

Anya mimicked Lexa’s actions from earlier, throwing her hands up in the air.  “Whatever.  Cancel the DC book tour.  I don’t really give a flying fuck, it’ll mean I can come home and binge watch _Gilmore Girls_ sooner.  But, Lexa, I don’t think you need to worry about internet stalkers killing you.”

“I don’t even know this Clarke girl, Anya,” Lexa sighed, running her hands through her messy hair.  “I have no idea what came over me.  I saw a pretty face and just,” she paused, looking for the right word.  “—imploded!  All I could think about was seeing her in person, and like, hearing her laugh!  I only know her name, and at the drop of a hat I was ready to pack my bags and leave for DC and just—look at her!  In person!  That’s really fucking weird, Anya!”

Anya chuckled.  “That’s called lust, you nimbus.  Welcome to the world of sexual urges.  Congratulations, you’re ten years late to the party.”

Lexa punched her sister in the arm.  “Did you just insult me by calling me a broomstick?" She shook her head, staring at her sister in disbelief, before scoffing. "Forget it. I’m _serious_ , Anya!”

Anya’s face hardened.  Relenting with her teasing, she exhaled slowly, crossing her arms.  “Alexandria, if you’re that terrified, then cancel the tour.  Say something’s come up.”

Lexa grimaced.  “You only pull the full name card when you’re pissed,”

“Yeah,” Anya said, “I am.  I’m pissed because you have a stick up your ass all the time, and you don’t know how to cut yourself a break.  So what, you saw a pretty girl online and you wanted to meet her?  That’s what online dating is, Lexa.  It isn’t weird.  If you had seen her face pop up on eHarmony, that would be exactly the goal.  Just because you saw her on Instagram first instead of a dating site doesn’t make it really fucking weird.  So what if her stupid face made you think irrationally for a minute?  You _need_ that from time to time.  Lexa, you have to be spontaneous in life.  Spontaneity is what makes life _fun_.  Besides, our tour in DC will benefit us.  It’s extra profit, and it’s the capital of the country; having an LGBT function there is good publicity.  It’s probably for the best that we end there.”

“But—”

“I’m not done speaking yet, Alexandria.”

Lexa looked at the ground.

“ Clarke isn’t going to kill you.  She’s not going to cut your hair off and put it in a box, she doesn’t have a shrine of your face, she’s not going to try to hurt you or stalk you.  She’s a twenty one year old girl who’s, granted, a little obsessed with you.  But that’s because you _spoke_ to her, Alexandria.  Echo said she went through something similar.  Maybe…meeting you will be her healing process.  That _is_ the goal of this, isn’t it?  To help everyone like us?  Like Costia?”

Lexa remained silent.

“Look, if you’re that bothered, ask Echo tonight if you can FaceTime with Octavia and Raven.  Prove to you that they’re normal, and then you’ll see their friend is, too.  So, Clarke may have a little celebrity crush on you, but doesn’t every girl who’s subscribed to you?”

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“I’ll FaceTime Echo tonight,” Lexa said, looking up.  Anya met her gaze, unwavering.  “I just don’t know what came over me.”

Anya’s face broke into a small smile.  “That’s the best part.  Life is so dull when you calculate each move, Lexa.  If we were…if we were soldiers, if we led a country, that’s what we’d have to do.  Calculate.  But we’re two young girls living in New York City relying on a website to pay our bills every month.  Being spontaneous is just a thing people our age do.”

“I’m not spontaneous, Anya.”

“For a while there, you used to be.”  Anya said, balling her hands into fists.  “You used to be so fun.  You used to laugh about everything, take everything lightly.  You used to—damn it, Lexa, after you graduated you got in your car and drove to Chicago overnight with Costia without telling Mom!  You didn’t pack a bag, or leave a note, or call, or anything!  And do you know what Mom said when she was waiting to hear from you for a whole day?”

Lexa shook her head slowly.

“She said, ‘That is so like your sister.  Alexandria always does things spur of the moment, ever since that girl came around.’”

Lexa grit her teeth.  “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because Mom wasn’t mad, Lexa!”  Anya yelled back, hands flying out to her sides.  “She was so happy for you once she knew you were safe.  You were _living_ your life!  Mom hated watching you be so sad, Lexa.  For seventeen years you were a pathetic, lonely girl who didn’t let anyone in.  And then Costia came, and, and—and I saw for the first time my little sister.  My little sister who laughed, and played games, and was happy.  You—you were so different before Costia came around, and now you’re back at where you started.  Costia was good for you; she showed you how to be a fucking teenager who makes mistakes and lives!”

“Well she’s dead!”

For a long while, the two sisters stared at each other, neither willing to break the silence.

Finally, Anya relaxed her posture and stood up straight.  “Yeah, and it turns out my little sister died the same day Costia did.”

With a huff, Anya pushed Lexa aside, walking out of the bathroom.

* * *

 

 _Unfortunately Straight Girl:_  
_Alright, you can tell Clarke about the passes now._  
_Anya just tweeted all the winners anyway._

 _Octavia:_  
_She’s gonna freak!!!!!_

 _Unfortunately Straight Girl:_  
_Oh, btw you need to come over 2nite._

 _Octavia:_  
_Should I change your name in my phone_  
_from ‘unfortunately straight girl’ to ‘girl_  
_who’s willing to experiment with me?’_

 _Bi-Curious????:_  
_Very funny, asshole._  
_This is serious, don’t tell Clarke._  
_Lexa wants to talk to you._

 _Octavia:_  
_Damn.  Well, I am available if you ever_  
_wanna hit it._

 _Not Bi-Curious At All:_  
_I’ll hit something all right, not what_  
_you’d want me to hit, though._  
_Seriously. 10:00._

 _Annoying Girl Who Can’t Take a Hint:_  
_Okay, okay._  
_10:00._  
_I’m not in trouble with Lexa, am I?_

 _Echo (AKA the girl who totally wants me):_  
_No._  
_At least, not to my knowledge._  
_I wouldn’t test it, though. When_  
_Lexa gets mad, she’s vicious.  Best_  
_to show up._

With a grin, Octavia clicked the lock button on her phone.  Bouncing up from her bed and running over to her desk, Octavia opened the first drawer, pulling out four pieces of paper.  Folding them a couple times, she shoved them in her back pocket, making her way out of her room and across the hall to Clarke’s.

“Knock knock,” she sing-sang, tapping her knuckles against the doorframe.  Clarke looked up, seeing Octavia stand at the open door.

“What’s up, O?”

Octavia grinned.  Calling down the hall for Bellamy, she walked into Clarke’s room.  “Who’s the best friend in the whole wide world?”

“I’m guessing you want that answer to be you, Octavia,” Bellamy said, walking into the room.

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “What is it?  I have this huge anatomy test tomorrow; I really do need to study.”

“I hope you can take a fifteen minute study break to give be a backrub, because, _man_ , being a good friend wears you out, but being the best friend in the whole universe really gives you a crick in the neck!”

Bellamy chuckled, crossing his arms.  “O, get on with it, Clarke’s practically shaking.  You know she needs her precious study time.”

Octavia squealed, pulling the paper out of her back pocket.  “Guess who got four VIP passes for Anya and Lexa’s book tour?”

Clarke shot up out of her bed, tossing her anatomy text book aside.  “No way!”

“Yes way!”

Clarke bolted across the small room towards the brunette, wrapping her arms around her neck.  “You are the best friend ever!”

Octavia hummed, patting Clarke’s back as the girl rocked them side to side.  “I know, I know.  I’m serious about that backrub, though, ever since I started running again I’m sore all over.”

Clarke pulled back, a wide smile on her face.  Grabbing the tickets, she examined them.  “This is unbelievable.  How?”

“I won a Twitter contest,” Octavia bluffed.

Clarke sighed, looking at Octavia and shaking her head.  “This—thank you.”

Octavia shrugged.  “What are friends for?  Besides your obvious lusting after the hot chica, I think meeting Lexa will be good for you.”

Clarke nodded once, her smile dropping slightly.

“Is…meeting her going to upset you?”  Octavia asked, concerned.

Clarke shook her head.  “No,” she took a small breath.  “I think it’ll be good.  Getting to talk to her.  Maybe have her listen.  Or just listen to her.  I’m just—It’ll be good.  I need to meet someone else like me.”

Bellamy clapped a hand on her back, giving her a big smile.  “And maybe get a picture with your celebrity crush, right?”

Clarke’s cheeks reddened.  “Shut up, you were totally worse about Emma Watson when you met her.”

“I’m not going to deny that,” Bellamy said, nodding.

“Okay, but who wouldn’t lose it meeting her?  She’s literally sex on legs.  Not to mention, she’s like, totally a badass feminist who’s taking charge.  What isn’t there to love about a gorgeous, strong woman?”  Octavia chimed in.

Clarke laughed.  “No way, Emma’s gorgeous and smart, but Ashley Frangipane is totally stepping up to a super feminist role in the media.  I love Em, don’t get me wrong, but _Ashley_ , oh my God.  So hot.  What’s not to love about the beautiful, girl-loving, feminist tri-bi?”

The anatomy test was all but forgotten, and it was exactly what Clarke needed.

* * *

“Clarke would be so jealous right now,” Raven laughed, sitting on one side of Echo while the girl pulled up her Mac.  Octavia sat on her other side, the three crammed in on the tight bed.  Letting out a low whistle, Octavia crossed her arms. 

“That’s a gorgeous computer.  Wish I had the money for one.”

Echo snorted.  “They’re alright.  The only reason people want it is for the brand.  Dad bought me off with it.  A sort of leverage to not get into any trouble in college, or he’ll take away all my nice stuff.”

“Does it work?”  Raven asked.

Without skipping a beat, Echo said, “Yep.  I’m definitely one of those people who care more about the name brand instead of product quality.”

“At least you’re honest,” Octavia said.

Echo typed in her password quickly, before pulling up the FaceTime icon.  “Lexa’s either going to be sweet or really off-putting.  Don’t take it to heart if it’s the latter.”

After a minute of consecutive ringing, the little connecting sign popped up.

Followed by Lexa’s face.

“Lexa T-Rexa!  Whattup girl,” Echo said, grinning at her sister.  “Oh, shit, you look like someone peed in your Cheerios.”

Lexa sighed.  “Anya and I are fighting.  But that doesn’t matter.  Raven and Octavia, I presume?”

Raven waved, and Octavia nodded.  “Hi,” Octavia said.  “I’m Octavia.  This is Raven,” she gestured to her friend.

“Pleasure,” Lexa spoke, folding her hands on the desk.

Echo waited, feeling the awkwardness grow by the second.  “So…is someone going to say something?  Or are we going to have a staring contest until my battery dies?”

Lexa sighed, sitting upright.  “Fine.  I’m a little concerned, is all.”

“About?”  Octavia asked.

“Your friend.”

Raven smiled.  “No need.”

“That doesn’t comfort me much, Raven,” Lexa spoke, looking away from the screen for a moment.  Eyes shifting back to the three girls on the other side of the screen, Lexa licked her lips.  “At first, I thought it was really sweet.  The comments Octavia left on my profile.  And Clarke is beautiful.  And you seemed like normal college kids.  So, I figured, why not give you guys the passes?  You seem like nice people.  But I just—it’s not in my interest to be murdered by an insane fan.  I need to know I won’t end up with hair shaved off, waking up in the back of an alley only to file a police report, get home, and see that my braids have been put up for bidding on eBay.”

It was Octavia’s turn to sigh.  “Alright, look, my comments may have been off-putting towards Clarke’s character.  She does really think you’re hot.  But Clarke is just that way about any pretty girl.  Lexa, Clarke’s totally normal.  When…when she found out you were doing this LGBT+ support, she went into a state of depression.”

Lexa’s features softened.  “What?  Why?”

“It’s not my story to tell.  But basically, something happened to her.  Something really bad, because she’s bisexual.  And hearing you talk about Costia made her go back…back into this depression.  I think meeting you will help her finally move on for good.  See how someone can overcome something like what she went through, and make a positive out of such a negative. 

Clarke is totally a fan of your guys’ channels.  She loves watching your videos, they make her happy.  And yeah, she thinks you’re hot.  But Clarke is fine, I promise you.  She’s just a normal girl who happens to express her looking up to people in forms of crushes.  I mean, today we literally got in a debate over who we liked better, Halsey or Emma Watson.  And like, she totally celebrity crushes on Halsey, but that’s just…her way of being excited about a bisexual feminist gaining media attention.  She crushes on people when she admires them, she always has.  Trust me, she’s harmless.  She will be respectful and kind meeting you.  If she remembers to breathe, that is,” Octavia let out a small laugh.

Lexa nodded, listening to the girl ramble.  “I do trust you, Octavia.”  She finally said.

Octavia smiled.  “Good.  Clarke is just like any other average girl with a computer who sees pretty people online.  Her crushes are superficial.  She’s not actually in love with you, I promise.”

Lexa chuckled at that, letting out an unsteady breath she’d been holding.  “Okay, then.”

Echo snorted again.

“What?”  Lexa asked.

“You are far worse than Clarke.”

“What do you mean?”  Lexa asked, scrunching her eyebrows together.

“Oh, don’t think I don’t know the story of grumpy Lexa the thirteen year old secretly fangirling over Britney Spears.  Anya’s told me all about it, not to mention when I visited when we were kids I saw your collection of Britney memorabilia.  Anya said you were so damn cranky all the time, except for the night she took you to see Britney Spears.  And she said, oh boy, you had the heart eyes big time for that blonde seductress.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the screen.  “I’m going to kill Anya!”

“See?”  Echo laughed, shaking her head.  “Don’t think when I came to visit, I never noticed all the posters of the Spice Girls and Britney on your walls.  You totally fangirled.  Clarke is the same.  If you never had it in mind to kill the most iconic girls of your childhood and worship them like a satanic woman worships the devil, then Clarke probably has the same attitude towards you as you did  Britney.  You literally are fretting over nothing.  Clarke is just Lexa circa 2006.  Minus the posters of your face all around her dorm.  Uh, right?”

Raven nodded with a laugh.  “She doesn’t have any pictures of you guys on her walls.”

Echo rolled her eyes. “See, you big dummy!  You literally pined so hard over those 90s and 2000s sensations.  You had their merch, their CDs stacked on your desk, their faces plastered on your wall—now _that_ is a fangirl, Lexa.  Clarke has more chill than you ever did.”

Lexa finally laughed.  “God, you’re right.”  She ran her fingers through her hair, now pulled up in a bun.  “I guess you’re right.”  She repeated.

“Do thirteen year olds still listen to Britney Spears?”  Raven asked, humming.

Lexa huffed.  “If they don’t, they’re missing their sexual awakening, that’s for sure.”

Octavia’s mouth hung open.  “You too?  God, Britney was like, the first girl I ever thought about doing wicked things to.”

“Exactly!”  Lexa laughed, cheeks reddening. 

“She was way too breathy in all of her songs to _not_ imagine having wild, hot sex with her,” Octavia agreed.

“She was like, every girl loving girl’s ‘oh shit’ moment,” Raven smirked.

Echo grunted.  “Shia LaBeouf was mine.”

“Okay, get out of here, straightie.”  Raven laughed, shoving Echo.  Like a chain reaction, Octavia was pushed off the tiny bed at the force of Echo shifting.  With a loud thud, she smacked against the wooden floor.

Lexa watched as the two girls left onscreen laughed, and again as Octavia stood and shoved Raven off the bed in turn.

So, they ended up being pretty normal college kids after all.

An hour later, after an intense conversation about Britney Spears, Lexa ended the video call.

She sat at her video filming desk, swiveling in her office chair.  She sat there for a long time, thinking. 

Eventually, she made her way to the living room.

“We’re keeping the DC tour.”

Anya looked up from the couch, closing her book.  “What made you decide?”

“I called Echo.  Talked to Raven and Octavia.”

“And?”

“We talked about Britney Spears, and they made me realize Clarke and I aren’t different at all.”

Anya chuckled.  “You mean, you both have disgusting celebrity crushes?”

Lexa nodded, though she felt her neck heat up.  “They seem normal.  Clarke should be, too.”

“Best case scenario, you two hook up,” Anya said, giving her a thumbs up.  “Worst case…Clarke ends up being giddy like a twelve year old meeting Harry Styles.  I told you, this girl does not seem the stalker type.  Not from what you’ve said and what I’ve asked Echo about.”

“I know,” Lexa sighed, taking a seat next to her sister.  “I just…worry.”

Anya set her book on the coffee table, resting her hand on Lexa’s knee.  “This isn’t Costia.  This is some college girl who needs someone to talk to.  Who just so happens to idolize you,” Anya chuckled.  “You should be flattered.  Of all the LGBT women out there who she could look up to, she looks up to you.”

“I know.”  Lexa repeated.

“Look at me, kiddo,” Anya said, hand gently coming up to the side of Lexa’s face.  “You’re going to see direct results of what you’re working for.  Meeting her, and talking to her, and helping her…you’re going to make a difference to that girl.”

Lexa smiled.  “That’s the only reason I’m keeping the tour there.”

Anya swiped her thumb across her sister’s cheekbone, feeling wetness.  “This isn’t Costia again.”

“I met her the same way.”

Anya smiled.  “Not exactly.  You had a common friend on FaceBook.”

It was Lexa’s turn to let out a little laugh.  “Yeah, but I saw her picture and something snapped in me.  Before I knew it, I was friend requesting her, and then we were together outside of the website, and then we were friends, and then we were dating—”

“Shh,” Anya shushed Lexa.  “She brought out the happiness in you, Lexa.  The adventurous side.  The wild side.  She was good for you.  I was wrong.  You didn’t die when she did, you just buried yourself alive.  But now, I think…I think this Clarke girl is a sign to crawl back to the surface.  A sign that Costia still wants you to be spontaneous, and live your life not knowing exactly what will happen, and that that’s okay.  Wouldn’t she want that?”

Lexa nodded, a choked sob coming from her throat.  “Yeah, she would.”

“Then…think of this girl, Clarke, as the angel Costia’s sent you.”

“You don’t believe in any god or angels, Anya,” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“No,” Anya scoffed.  “I certainly do not.  I should rephrase that.  Fate.  That’s something I believe in.  Karma.  The universe.  Costia’s over there on some other realm pissed off that you let yourself go back to being so frigid.  I think in whatever limbo she’s trapped in, she realized she couldn’t get the job done alone so she made it so the cosmos would align so that you’d do something out of character again.  So you could go back to being the happy person she helped you become.”  Her hand fell from Lexa’s cheek back to her leg.

“I don’t know about all that,” Lexa whispered.

“Well, I do.  Costia wouldn’t want you to be so…reserved and scared of being free.  She was such a wild girl.  She’d want you to live, Lexa.  Not hide from life.”

“And you think Clarke is helping Costia carry out that mission?”  Lexa swiped at her eyes, laughing at the absurdity.

“Maybe.  Maybe not.  But for whatever reason, this girl made you do something without thinking it through, without weighing the consequences of a snap decision, just like Costia did.  Whether that means Clarke’s just a passing person who snaps you back into reality, or she might become your friend, or whatever, I don’t know.  But there’s a reason people come into your life, or they change you, or they leave.  There always is.”

Lexa allowed a small smiled to blossom on her lips.

Anya shrugged.  “Clarke’s hot, by the way, I looked up Octavia’s Instagram.  Ten out of ten.  Would bang.”

Lexa couldn’t hold in the bubbling laughter anymore.  “She is really cute.”

Anya let her hand slide off of Lexa’s leg and reached back for her book.  “Then, we’ll go to DC in a few weeks.  You and Clarke will talk and bond over your miserable pasts, and then you’ll both feel better.  Now, whether that ‘feel better’ part comes from being gross girly girls and talking about your feelings like two moms over a bottle of wine, or you _feel_ better from a night full of orgasms, that’s up to you two.”

“I don’t even know her!”  Lexa laughed, burying her face in her hands.

“What?  You two both totally think each other is hot, and you really have nothing to worry about.  She seems like a nerd.  A hot nerd.  Personally, I’d choose the orgasms.”

“Anya!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ashley Frangipane can most definitely get it.
> 
> Sorry I've been MIA recently. I had midterms, which really blew and allowed approximately two minutes of free time a day. But! The bright side is I got to see Halsey in concert, so that was pretty fucking cool.
> 
> Let me know what you thought in the comments!


	4. The One With the Oh Shit Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Anya's biggest break yet; Bellamy and Echo are totally gonna bang soon; Raven has a sad as fuck backstory; Clarke's nursing school pays off; Octavia's "ah-ha" moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is Raven-centered! Hopefully you all like seeing into her backstory more. Also, Octaven and Claven angst.
> 
> Forewarning: mentions of past rape and anxiety attacks in this chapter. I know not everyone deals with panic attacks as I have written out, but the way it is dealt with in this chapter is the same way I deal with my own anxiety attacks, so, yeah.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

In the early hours of the morning, Anya stood in her cramped kitchenette, mixing some milk and sugar into her coffee as bacon sizzled on the skillet behind her.

A soft pitter-patter of footsteps was heard, but Anya paid no attention to the socks-and-sweatshirt-clad girl stepping into the small kitchen beside her.

“Morning,” Lexa yawned, reaching up in the cupboard for her coffee mug.  She stood at her sister’s side, waiting for Anya to move along so she could get her cup.

Anya simply grunted in response.  Lexa nodded, “Good talk,” before pouring herself the black coffee, drinking it plain.

Anya grimaced.  “That’s gross.”

“You literally had your tongue up your some girl’s ass last night and you think plain coffee is disgusting?”

Anya shoved her sister, “You’re nasty.”

“What?  Don’t think I didn’t see that little redhead do the walk of shame after being kept up all night listening to her very squeaky moans.”

Anya swatted at her sister’s shoulder.  “You’re such a voyeur,”

Lexa scoffed.  “It’s not voyeurism when I’m in the next room hearing my sister’s name being screamed over and over.  How did you deal with that all night?  She sounded like a fucking squeaky toy.”

Anya laughed, picking up the skillet and dumping the cooked bacon onto a plate.  “Most people are too caught up in the orgasmic bliss of sex to notice their partner’s voice, Lexa.  Something you would know if you ever hooked up with anyone.  Tell me, have camels started migrating to your vagina?  You’re dryer than the fucking Sahara.”

Lexa squinted her eyes.  “I hate you.”

Anya poked her tongue out at her sister.  “Move out, then.”

Lexa hummed, taking another sip of her coffee.  “I’ve been thinking about it.”

Anya paused, taken aback.  “Really?”

Lexa nodded.  “Besides your every other night encounters with beautiful women across the tri-state area, I don’t know, I kind of feel like we each need some space,” she reasoned.  “We lived together for fourteen years before you went to college, and we’ve lived together for another two since I graduated.  I’ve never had a place of my own, since I spent my college years in dorms.”

Anya clapped a hand on Lexa’s shoulder.  “Look at you, all grown up.”

Lexa smiled, before setting her cup of coffee down.  “Of course, there’s the cost to be taken into consideration.  New York isn’t cheap, especially where we live.  We’re paying a lot for this place.”

“ _Mom_ is paying a lot for this place,” Anya reminded her.  “But you’re her baby.  She’ll pay for two apartments.”

Lexa made a little noise, crinkling her nose.  “I don’t want Mom to pay for everything for me.”

“Lex, we’re loaded,” Anya snorted, “Mom won’t even miss the rent each month.  She even called me the other day, asking if our bill even got paid because her bank account didn’t change that much.”

Lexa laughed at that, shaking her head.  “Mom is pretty loaded.  But, I don’t know, I kind of feel like it’s something I need to do.  I’m making money, especially from the endorsement on the LGBT channel, but, I don’t know.  It’s really expensive.”

“Call Mom,” Anya shrugged.  “Talk to her about it.  If she’s willing to pay for it, then let her.  If she’s not, then we’ll start looking for some apartments, maybe further from the heart of the city.  We’ll make it work.”

Lexa was about to respond when her phone went off.  Picking up her coffee mug with one hand and pulling out her phone with the other, Lexa took a sip of the hot liquid.  “It’s Lincoln,” she said, eyebrows furrowing.  She answered the phone with a click, bringing it up to her ear.  “Hello?”

_“Lexa!  How are you?”_

“Good, thank you, Lincoln.  How are you?”

_“Not as good as you’re going to be.  Put me on speaker, grab Anya.”_

“Okay,” Lexa said, confused, motioning for Anya to follow her.  Lexa took her coffee, moving out of the cramped kitchenette into the living room.  Anya followed suit, taking her bacon with her and sitting next to Lexa on the couch.  Lexa put the phone on speaker, putting it down on the coffee table.

_“There’s a lady down here at the bar.  She heard Anya works here some nights, and she wants to meet with you.”_

Anya and Lexa looked at each other, bewildered.  “About what?”  Anya asked.

 _“Well, she works with_ BuzzFeed _and she wants you and Anya to do a photo shoot and an interview.”_

Lexa squealed, shaking her sister’s arm.  “An, this is big news!”

Anya laughed, putting her hand on her sister’s arm to cease her rattling.  “Can she hold on for twenty while we get dressed and head down?”

 _“Let me ask.”_   There was a muffled conversation on the other end of the line, before Lincoln rejoined the two.  _“She said she’ll wait for you two to get here.”_

“Oh my god, tell her thank you!”  Lexa said, jumping up off the couch.  “We need to get ready.  Anya, this is big, this is _really_ big,”

_“That’s what she said.”_

Lexa paused, eyes going wide.  “Did _Lincoln_ just make a dirty joke?”

_“I did, now get your ass in gear; I can only pass the time with this lady for so long until you guys get here.”_

* * *

In a half an hour, Lexa and Anya arrived at the bar where Anya worked, Lexa a nervous wreck.  She’d just gotten off the phone with her manager, a man by the name of Gustus, who also happened to be Anya’s band manager.  He’d be there in a few, to help work out all the official things, and he’d bring Nyko, his brother and the girls’ publicist, along as well. 

“Calm down, you’ve been on national television.  This is nothing.”

Lexa took a breath, before nodding.  “I’m cool, I’m cool.”

Anya chuckled, reaching for the door.  “People who have to tell themselves that they’re cool over and over again are _not_ cool.  Chill out.  This isn’t anything official.”

The two stepped into the bar, seeing it rather empty.  During the day hours, it served as a little rinkydink restaurant until the evening, pulling in some extra cash so it didn’t sit there during daytime hours, wasting rent money.  They said hello to a few customers they saw on the regular, before heading to the back of the bar, where Lincoln sat next to a tall, slender woman.

Upon seeing the two girls, she stood, extending her hand to Anya first, then to Lexa.  “Hi, girls!  I’m Luna Csónak, I work for _BuzzFeed_.”

“Hello,” Anya said, shaking her hand.

Lexa mimicked her sister, saying, “Nice to meet you.”

Lincoln bid his farewell to Luna, saying he should return to his shift, before giving the two a thumbs up.

“Here, why don’t we move to a booth?  It’ll be easier to talk than here at the bar,” she said, motioning for Luna and Lexa to follow her.  She led the two to a corner of the room, where the booth extended in a large “L” shape, granting plenty of room for the three women and the two to come soon and join.

“Our publicist and manager will be here soon,” Lexa said, nodding to Luna as they sat.

“Gustus and Nyko Antarr?  Yes, I’ve heard all about them,” Luna smiled, winking at Anya.  “Gustus is also your band manager, is that right?”

Anya nodded, eyes narrowing.  “How do you know so much about them?”

“Well, a journalist has to do her research before getting to her story.”  Luna responded.

“Why didn’t you go to them, first?”  Lexa asked, curiously.  “Why just come to the bar?”

“I live in New York City; I’ve come here a few times.  I like the environment.  I’ve seen Anya working, and I’ve seen her play once or twice.  You’re very good, by the way,” Luna digressed, looking at Anya.  “Very talented with your hands.  Bass isn’t any easy instrument to play, nor the drums.  You’re talented.”

“Thank you,” Anya said, a tight lipped smile on her face.  She didn’t like people invading her privacy, and it certainly seemed like this Luna girl had certainly done her research without them knowing.

“Anyway,” Luna smiled, looking back at Lexa.  “I figured I’d drop on by to just give you two some details before calling Gustus up and arranging this, as I planned on heading to work today; I just pass this lovely little establishment on my way every day!  We can wait a few so your publicist and manager can get the scoop right away now as well.  That works for me, too!”

“We won’t be taking up your office time?”  Lexa asked, concerned.

“Oh, perhaps!”  Luna laughed, before waving her hand.  “But that’s all taken care of, dear.  I _am_ doing work here, after all.  I’ve called my boss; she’s fine with me showing up whenever today.”

The three made small talk for some time, until Gustus and Nyko walked in, joining them at the booth.  Luna stood, extending her hand to them as she had done Anya and Lexa minutes prior.  “Luna Csónak, _BuzzFeed_ journalist and editor.  Pleasure to meet you.  Now, let’s discuss some business!”

Nyko spoke first.  “As Alexandria and Anya’s publicist, you must know I care very much about their appearance to the public.  With Alexandria’s public coming out a few weeks ago, you also must know that it’s necessary for the people to see her as a respectable public figure—I must assure you that if anything resembles mockery at her sexual orientation or places her in an uncomfortable position, we won’t have any business here to speak of.  Their book tour is a serious matter; we can’t have people look at it like a joke.”

Luna smiled.  “Of course I understand, Mr. Antarr.  Alexandria’s coming out is _particularly_ the reason we want to interview her and her sister.  We understand at the office that Lexa and Anya are doing this book tour and running their LGBT YouTube channel to promote self-acceptance and acceptance of the LGBT community, and increase inter LGBT-community relationships.  We promote various LGBT functions, people, and ideas on our YouTube channels, in our written articles, and even our BuzzFeed LGBT Twitter.  We care about the community very much, and we would like to offer a deal.”

Gustus nodded, urging her to continue.  “What kind of deal?”

Luna spoke, “One that benefits us all.  We would like Anya and Alexandria to do a few YouTube videos on our channel, and invite various people in the queer community from our channels to appear on their LGBT channel.  In return for being a face of BuzzFeed and promoting our channels, we’d like to promote the book tour that is starting in a few weeks, and do a photo shoot and interview for an article.”

Lexa looked at her sister, then the two men across the table.  “I think that seems fair.”

Gustus nodded, “Of course, we’ll need some more in depth details of just what kinds of videos and interviews will be going on, as well as some legal paperwork.”

“But of course!”  Luna sung happily, clasping her hands together in front of her.  Her necklaces jingled around her neck at the sudden jostle, and she smiled brightly.  “How about I get my boss to write up some paperwork, and then the six of us can work out the details over dinner tonight, on us.  Perhaps at _Per Se_ , in Midtown?”

Anya’s eyes widened slightly, before looking at her sister.  Lexa caught her gaze and looked towards her publicist and manager.

Gustus hummed, before giving a solid nod.  “Of course.  We’d love to meet tonight.”

“Fantastic!  I’ll have reservations made for seven, party of six for _BuzzFeed._  I look forward to seeing you there!”  Luna shook their hands before departing from the bar, leaving the four in the booth alone, dumbfounded at the deal they just struck.

Anya was the first to speak.  “How the fuck is she going to get reservations for one of the most expensive restaurants in the city in ten hours?”

* * *

Clarke sat on the couch, head against the armrest, body stretched out across the gray material.  She’d been binge watching Netflix for the past few hours, ignoring her studying she needed to get done.  Nursing school was _tiring_ , damn it, and once she’d started _Bob’s Burgers_ there really was no turning back.

She laughed at something Tina said, hand reaching for the bowl of chips beside her on the coffee table, only to find it empty.  Pausing the episode with a sigh, she sat up, popping her shoulders.

“Can’t you ever watch Netflix in your room?  Why do you insist on taking the living room?”

Clarke looked up to see Bellamy, arms crossed.  “The couch is comfy,” she shrugged.

“So’s your bed,” Bellamy retorted, smirking.

“If you just want the living room, say so.”

“I want the living room.”

“Nah,” Clarke said, returning to her Netflix.

 Bellamy groaned, head falling back.  “I want to watch Netflix, too, Clarke!  And you know I prefer to watch it on the Xbox than my old shitty laptop.”

“Your laptop is pretty shitty,” Clarke agreed, but reclined nonetheless.

“Cuh- _lar_ -k!”  Bellamy whined, enunciating her name like a toddler.

It was Clarke’s turn to groan.  “You’re so infuriating,” she said, closing her laptop and pulling the blanket off her legs.  “I’ll go to my room.  Happy?”

Bellamy smiled wide, teeth showing.  Clarke thought he resembled a bear.  A very, unusually happy bear.

“Knock knock bitches, put on pants,” Octavia said, opening the front door.  “You really should lock this thing, one day we’re going to get robbed.  Anyway, we have company!”

Clarke stood, brushing the chip crumbs off her shirt.  “Wonderful,” she said, rolling her eyes.  “Dinner for four tonight.  I’ll start making the pasta Raven likes.”

“Five, actually,” Raven chimed in, poking her head through the door’s opening.  “My roommate, Echo, is here too!”

Echo waved awkwardly from behind Raven.  “She dragged me here against my will.”

Raven pouted, pulling Echo into the apartment.  “She never socializes.  Figured we’d add her to the friend group.”

Clarke smiled, offering her hand to Echo.  “I’m Clarke.  Raven’s told us about you; it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise,” Echo responded, gripping Clarke’s hand and giving a firm shake.  “Octavia and Raven here have spent countless hours talking about you.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow.  “They have, have they?”  She laughed.  “I keep telling them, sleeping with me will only ruin our friendship.”  She gave Echo a little wink at that.

“That is _so_ not what we talk about,” Octavia crinkled her nose.

Before Clarke had the chance to ask what exactly they did talk about her, Bellamy was at her side.  Extending his hand to the short girl, he gave Echo a smile.  “It’s nice to put a face to the name.  Raven’s spoken about you a lot.”

Echo shook his hand back, smirk on her lips.  “It is true; the Blakes do have the best genes I’ve ever seen.”

Bellamy chuckled, pulling his hand away from hers only after grasping it for a second too long to be friendly.  “We’ve been told as much.”

Clarke feigned a gag, excusing herself.  “You heteros.  I’m going to start cooking dinner, if you’ll excuse me.”

While Clarke started the pasta, Raven and Octavia made their way to Octavia’s room.  Raven sat on Octavia’s bed, crossing her legs, comfortable in the familiar room.  She was surprised, however, to find Octavia flinging herself around Raven’s body, sending them both tumbling into the mattress.  Raven laughed as Octavia hung above her, knees on either side of Raven’s hips.  “What’s that for?”

“I missed you.”  Octavia said, pressing a quick kiss to Raven’s cheek.  Raven felt heat creep up her neck, billowing out over her cheeks.  Octavia paid no notice, untangling herself from Raven’s embrace and popping up off of her bed.  She grinned cheekily, making her way to her desk, motioning for Raven to come follow her.

Raven sat dumbfounded for a moment, before complying and walking over to stand behind Octavia.  She rolled around in her desk chair as she started her laptop up.  “What’s going on?”  Raven asked.

“Well, I got bored the other day, and I made us both dating profiles.”  Octavia said, smiling up at Raven.

Raven crossed her arms.  “I don’t want a dating profile, Octavia,” she said, shaking her head.

Octavia shushed her with a smile on her lips.  “You don’t have to use it, but it’s there.  Just in case you ever want to start up dating again.”

“I do,” Raven murmured.  _With you_ , she wanted to add.

Octavia’s eyes lit up.  “Really?  Great!”

“But not—” Raven sighed, “not on a website.  I kind of have a person in mind.  She goes here to Ark U.”

Octavia squealed, clasping her hands together.  “Raven!  That’s awesome!  Who is she?  What grade is she in?  Do you have classes with her?”  Octavia looked back at her computer, going to the dating website and quickly inputting her email and password for her own account.

Raven inhaled shakily, fingers gripping the top of the desk chair Octavia sat in.  Now or never, she supposed.  No time like the present.

“Well, actually, Octavia—”

Raven was interrupted by Octavia’s sharp intake of breath.  “Oh my _Jesus_.”

Raven hummed, looking up at the screen.  “What?”

“I got matches!”  Octavia squealed excitedly, perusing some profiles.  Two girls, four guys…oh, she’s cute!  Oh my god, Rave, look at _him_ ,” Octavia hastily clicked on his profile.

Raven stared at the profile image of the man.  He looked muscular; his pale skin looked awkward against the black shirt he wore.  Raven supposed he was good looking enough, but damn it, she was going to confront Octavia about her feelings!

“Octavia, please,” Raven said, moving from behind the girl to Octavia’s side.  “I really need to—”

“ _Aww_ , Raven, he messaged me!  Read this!  It’s so sweet!”  Octavia turned her laptop to face Raven, at her side, swooning at the short message.  It was simple, sweet, to the point; Octavia was pretty, he’d love to meet her for coffee, yada yada.  It was stuff Raven had heard a thousand times over.

She wanted to tell Octavia that this random dude was just another average guy on a dating website, most likely just looking for a hook up—when she saw Octavia’s face.

Those big doe eyes, watering at the short message.

“He is so sweet.  He’s such a poet; Raven, did you read this?  Raven?”

Raven nodded, plastering a smile on her face.  “Yeah, O, he seems really sweet.”

“Should I go for it?”  Octavia laughed, looking up at Raven.

“Well, I mean, that’s up to you,” Raven shrugged.  “But I think, can I just talk for a second?”

Octavia nodded, grasping Raven’s hand. “About the girl?”

Raven nearly choked on her own spit as she nodded.  “She’s, uh—she’s great, Octavia.  She’s got this quick wit to her, and she’s really funny.  She’s got the prettiest hazel eyes, and she—”

Octavia’s computer dinged again.  Her hands slipped from Raven’s as she turned to click on the notification.

“He sent another message!  Oh my gosh!  He’s so cute; he wants to make sure that the last message was alright.  _Aww,_ he’s worried because he hasn’t done the online thing before!  He’s so sweet, Raven, look!”

Raven’s eyebrows creased together.  “Yeah.”  She muttered.

Octavia jumped up, hugging her friend.  “Oh my god!  He’s so cute, and he’s so sweet!  Most guys would’ve just wanted to hook up, look!  He’s making sure I don’t think that about him.  I’m totally going to message him back.  Who knew I’d actually get any matches, let alone a guy like him!”

Raven held Octavia close, her own eyes watering.  “He’s lucky to have been matched with you.  You’re wonderful, Octavia, anyone would be lucky to have you interested in them.”

Octavia pulled away from Raven, not paying any mind to the tears about to fall down Raven’s cheeks as she sat back at the computer.  Hastily, she started typing back, an eager grin across her face.

“I, um, forgot.  I have a huge exam tomorrow.  My electronics class.  Big part of my grade.”

Octavia waved passively over her shoulder.  “That’s fine, we can do dinner tomorrow!  Go study.  I have some dates to set up!”

Raven bit her lip, hot water filling to the brim in her eyes.  “Yeah.  Yeah, you do.”

Raven all but fled from the room, swiping at her wet cheeks.

She found herself face to face with Bellamy, stepping into the living room.  “Jesus, Raven, what’s wrong?”

Raven opened her mouth, but couldn’t bring herself to string together anything intelligible.  Bellamy gripped at her upper arms.  “I—I need to go.”  She finally got out.

Bellamy nodded, concern in his eyes.  He glanced over at Echo, helping Clarke prepare dinner.  Echo’s smile fell upon seeing her roommate’s distress.  “Rae?”  She asked, wiping her hands on her jeans and moving closer to the girl.  Raven’s breath caught in her throat; her hands gripped at her sides, and the overwhelming need to breathe was outweighed by the fact that her throat constricted; her palms went clammy.   Sweat started beading at the top of her forehead; when did it get so hot? “Dude, talk!  Rae, what the hell?” Echo asked, shaking the girl’s arm as Bellamy kept a hold of her.

Clarke, looking over at the commotion, dropped the pan of spaghetti sauce on the floor in shock.  Raven’s face was going red; her breaths were jagged and sharp; Clarke could recognize that look of fear anywhere.  Hot red liquid spilled across the white tile, but Clarke paid no attention.  “Get away from her; she’s having a panic attack!”  She yelled, throwing Echo to the side and pushing Bellamy back from Raven.  “Give her space.” She spoke again, this time softer.  “Okay.  Raven, listen to me, you’re okay.  I’m not going to touch you if you don’t want me to.  I’m right here, okay?  You’re okay.  Take off your shirt.  It’s too tight.

Raven nodded, hands reaching for the buttons on her button up shakily.  She tried to undo the top button, to no avail; Clarke took a deep breath.  “Can I?”

Raven nodded, growing even more frustrated.  The tears spilled over her cheeks again; hot, blurring her vision, they only made the tightening in her chest worse.

“Shh, shh, you’re fine, you’re alright.”  Clarke hushed, hands making quick work of ridding the girl from her blouse.  Instantly, Raven cooled, but it was not enough.  Clarke disposed the shirt on the ground, leaving Raven in only her bra.  Clarke shushed sweetly, stepping back from Raven.  “You’re okay.  If I hold onto you, you’ll only feel more trapped.  You’re okay.  You think you aren’t, but you are.  You _can_ breathe.  Can you hear me?”  Raven nodded once more.  _“Deep_ breaths.  You can do it.  I’ll take one, too.”

Clarke inhaled deeply, looking pointedly at the girl before her.  Raven tried to mimic, but her breath caught in her throat.  “I can’t,” she gasped out,

“Okay, okay.  You’re okay.  Try again.”

“—Leave,” Raven cried, looking at Bellamy and Echo.

Clarke turned towards them, eyes pleading.  “Go to a bedroom, Bell.  Raven’s feeling watched, it’s only making it worse.

Bellamy nodded, eyes raking over Raven.  Concern was etched in his features.  Echo held her hand over her mouth, eyes watering at the sight of her roommate.

“Now,” Clarke said, and Bellamy hastily grabbed Echo’s other hand and led them down the hall.  Clarke turned back to Raven.  “Go on the balcony.  I’m turning off the stove.  I’ll be there in a second.”  True to her word, Clarke made quick work of turning off the hot stovetop, and hurried to the balcony.  Raven was struggling to open the door, chest heaving, letting out a strangled cry.

Clarke opened the sliding door for the girl, who hurled herself out into the crisp October air.  Clarke stood behind, giving the girl on the balcony her space.

“Do you want me to talk you through this?”  Clarke asked. She saw Raven nod quickly, but was relieved to see her chest steadying rather than jutting out erratically as it had been.  “See?  You’re already doing better.  Focus on what you can sense.  Feel the air; it’s cold.  It will help cool you down.  You’re doing great, Raven.  Can you smell anything?”

Raven inhaled sharply.  “The—the pasta you were cooking.”

“Good.  Focus on that.  Does it smell good?”

Raven nodded.  “It’s my favorite.”  She sucked in a sharp breath, hands gripping the balcony railing tightly.

“Great, Raven, think about that.  How good eating your favorite food makes you feel.”

“That’s—that’s silly.”  Raven cried, doubling over as it started again.  “Oh god, I made you ruin dinner.  Yo—You’re going to, to have to do it _all_ over again!”

Clarke hastily went to Raven’s side then, pushing Raven’s hair off of her face.  It clung to her sweating neck, so Clarke reached for the hair tie she had around her wrist and made quick work of pulling Raven’s hair into a loose ponytail, so it sat away from her neck.

Instantly, Raven felt better.  The oppressive heat on her neck gone, she felt cooler; not as enclosed in on herself.

“Dinner is whatever, we can order pizza.”  Clarke whispered, moving away from Raven.

“No!” Raven cried, before taking a deep breath.  “Don’t—don’t move away.  I think, I think you holding me helps.”

Clarke’s eyes softened, as she reached for the girl once more.  She rested her hand on Raven’s back, rubbing soothing circles between her shoulder blades, her fingertips barely pressing into the skin.  “It’s hard to know whether touching someone will make it worse or better.  Are you sure this is helping?”

Raven nodded her head.  “Yes,” she sighed, her head throbbing. 

“Good.  Deep breaths.  I want to feel your chest press out and expand, okay?”  Clarke asked, bringing her other hand to settle on Raven’s chest.  Raven did as she was told, inhaling deeply.  “Good.  Let go. Slowly.”  Again, Raven followed Clarke’s instructions.  “Good.  You’re doing great, Raven.  Are you feeling hot still?”

“Just sticky.”

“That’s from the sweat; you’re okay.  You’ll feel better in a few minutes when the air dries you up some more.  Come on, breathe again; deep.”  Clarke whispered, fingers rubbing against Raven’s back and sternum, now, very gently.

Raven inhaled; held the breath for a few seconds as Clarke instructed; exhaled slowly.

She repeated this process again and again, until Clarke’s fingers slowed their movement against Raven’s back.  “Good.  You’re okay.  Can you feel that?  Nothing happened to you.  You are safe.”

Raven nodded jerkily, mouth dry.  “Thanks,” she muttered, feeling her heart gradually slow.  Its thrumming was very present in her chest; she could hear the unsteady beat in her ears.  Slowly, it faded.

Clarke hummed softly, pushing the last remnants of Raven’s hair that had clung to her face behind her ears.  “Are you getting cold?  We don’t want you to go into shock after that panic attack from getting too cold too fast, but it you get too warm while still having anxiety, it could start up again.  How do you feel?”

“Tired.  Worn out.”  Raven said, eyes growing heavy.

“Okay.  That happens.  It’s over, Raven.  You did it.  You got through the panic attack.”  Clarke pulled her own shirt off, a thin flannel, leaving her in a black tank top.  She helped Raven maneuver her arms into the thin material, leaving it hang open.  “There we go.  Sit, we’ll leave this open until you start to get chilly.  I don’t want to button it up and make you feel suffocated.”

Raven nodded her thanks, sitting on one of the lawn chairs.  Clarke followed, sitting in the one next to Raven’s.  Clarke rested her hand on Raven’s knee, silence hanging in the air.

Clarke rubbed circles on Raven’s kneecap, massaging the skin gently.  Raven leaned back in the lawn chair, eyes closed, no longer hearing the oppressive thumping of her heart.

“Do you want to talk about it, or will it make it happen again?”  Clarke finally asked, after moments of silence.

Raven shakily sat upright, hand reaching for Clarke’s.  Clarke quickly grasped Raven’s hand, giving it a squeeze.  “I don’t know.”

“Okay.  That’s okay.  You have forever to talk about it.  No one will make you.”

Raven smiled her thanks.  A cold gust of wind rattled Raven, making her teeth chatter slightly.  Clarke chuckled, leaning over and buttoning up her flannel over Raven’s chest.  She left the top three open, exposing Raven’s cleavage, but leaving her chest room to expand as she breathed.  “There you go.”

Clarke leaned over and pressed a kiss to Raven’s still sweaty temple, her hand going back to Raven’s.

From the inside of the apartment, Octavia watched the two.  Bellamy had tried to stop her when she came running out, hearing Raven’s distressed whines—but to no avail.  She had frozen in her tracks to see Clarke rubbing circles on a half-naked Raven, leaning over the balcony.

Bellamy watched his sister from the hallway.  “What do you think happened, O?”

Octavia shrugged, watching as Clarke buttoned up the shirt for Raven.  “She said she forgot about a test.  Could be that,”

Bellamy sighed.  “I’ve never seen her react like that, O.”

“Neither have I.” Octavia mumbled.

A protective urge swooped through her as she saw Clarke kiss Raven’s temple—and her heart grew heavy, seeing Raven lean into the kiss, before reaching for Clarke’s hand again.  Jealousy?  Octavia scoffed at herself.  Of course not, Raven was her friend; she was Clarke’s friend, too.  Clarke was just taking care of her.

“Octavia, we should give them space.  Raven might freak if we’re all standing here watching her.”  Echo spoke up, reaching for Octavia’s hand.  “C’mon,” she nodded her head to the side.

Why did Octavia feel like it was her job to take care of Raven, and not Clarke’s?

She wanted to throw Echo off of her; to run out to Raven and hug her.  But Clarke had this under control.  It was _good_ Clarke had this under control.

Right?

* * *

An hour later, after the sun had begun to set and the thin flannel wasn’t enough to warm Raven, the two girls headed inside.  Raven was exhausted; her eyes were heavy, her head was throbbing.  She felt ready for a long, long nap.

“Are you hungry?” Clarke asked, closing the balcony door behind her.

Raven shook her head, saying nothing.

“What do you want?”

“Can you take me home?”  Raven asked, tiredly looking up at Clarke.

Clarke smiled.  “Of course.  I’ll tell the others.  Sit tight,” she squeezed Raven’s upper arm reassuringly, before heading down the hall.  She found Octavia in her room, eyes glued to some website.  A dating website?  Clarke rolled her eyes; it wasn’t her business.  “Hey, O, I’m taking Raven home.”

Octavia stood.  “I’ll come say—”

Clarke shook her head.  “She’s tired.  If we all go out there she might have another attack.  I’ll let her know you said goodnight.”

Octavia smiled a half smile, heart falling once more. 

Clarke really was taking good care of Raven.  She should be thankful that her best friend was treating her new friend like Clarke had always treated her; why was she feeling so distraught?

“Alright.  Thanks,” Octavia settled with saying, shrugging the thoughts off.  She was just thinking weird because her mind was flowing with all these dates she’d set up.

That’s what she told herself, at least.

She could hear Clarke and Bellamy talking in Bellamy’s room.  Echo’s voice popped up in the conversation, too.

“I think she’ll need her space.  You can stay in my room tonight, Echo.”

“Okay, yeah.  Totally, I get it.  Thank you, Clarke.  But what about you?”

“Oh, I’ll probably camp out in your bed,” Clarke laughed.  “Just in case she needs someone to talk to.  Or if it happens again.”

Jealousy swept through Octavia’s veins.  Why didn’t Raven want her to be the one there?  _She_ was Raven’s friend, first, after all.

It was then that a world-crashing, Second-Coming-of-Jesus revelation dawned on her.

She wasn’t jealous that Clarke was Raven’s friend; she was jealous that Raven was choosing Clarke’s affection over hers.

She had feelings for her new friend.

Well, fuck.

* * *

Raven settled into her twin sized bed, thanking Clarke.  The blonde had helped Raven undress from her constricting clothes into loose pajamas, and made sure she was snug as a bug in a rug in bed. 

“No worries, Raven.”

Raven opened her heavy eyes, seeing Clarke hover above her.  “No, really.  Thank you.”

Clarke pressed a feather light kiss to Raven’s nose, before moving to Echo’s bed.  “I’m here if you need me tonight, okay Raven?”

“Okay.  Thank you.”

Clarke snuggled into the foreign bed, noticing a peachy smell.  So, Echo was a fruity girl when it came to shampoos.  Clarke breathed in the pleasant smell once more, before getting cozy. 

Minutes passed.  She listened for the evening of Raven’s breath.  It came after about a half an hour, so Clarke finally shut her eyes.  She tossed and turned, trying to stay awake a little while longer in case Raven was still awake.  After about an hour of silence, she concluded enough time had passed for her to get some rest herself.

She was well on her way to falling asleep when she felt a hand shake her.  Looking up in the pitch dark, she saw Raven.  Clarke immediately sat upright, reaching for the lamp on the bedside table.  “Raven?” She croaked out, eyes adjusting to the light.  “You okay?”

“Can—this is silly, I’m sorry.”  Raven huffed, turning back to face her bed.  Clarke reached for Raven’s hand, not allowing her to walk away.

“What is?  Raven, what’s wrong?”

Raven sighed.  “When I was little and these happened, my big sister would hold me until I fell asleep.  It was the only way I _could_ sleep without them coming back.”

Clarke smiled, tugging the girl towards her.  “It’s a small bed, but we can make do.”

Raven turned then, eyes brightening.  “Really?”

Clarke nodded.  “Of course.”  She scooted as far as she could, lying on her side.  Raven crawled in next to her, her back facing Clarke, and she reached up to turn the light off.  Clark wrapped her arm around Raven, drawing sleepy patterns on Raven’s skin, comforting her.

“I want to talk about it.”

Clarke was surprised, but she agreed to listen, nonetheless.  Raven kept her back to Clarke as she spoke.  “When I was young,” her breath caught.  “When I was thirteen, I was raped.”

Clarke’s hand stopped moving. 

Raven continued.  “He was older.  Eighteen, I think.  He had his own apartment.  He wasn’t right in the head.  He made me believe he loved me, and that I should love him.  But then he—he started taking advantage of me.  I didn’t know what he was doing or why it hurt but he kept saying he did it out of love, so I let him.  We talked about it in health one day—sexual assault, I mean—and I figured out what was going on.  I tried to run one night, but he wouldn’t let me.  I told him to stop and he wouldn’t—fuck, I don’t know where he got it, but he pulled a gun and shot me.  The bullet hit my spine.  I couldn’t move.  He ran.  The neighbors heard, though, and they barreled through.  They took me to the hospital,”

“Oh, Raven,” Clarke cooed, pulling the girl tight against her chest.

“Luckily I regained mobility.  You never see me wear it, but I have a brace.  Therapy helped a lot; I learned to walk again, after a long time.  I wear the brace when it hurts really bad, or it starts acting up again.  Truthfully, I should wear it every day.  It helps with mobility.  Keeps it from hurting.”

“Promise me you’ll start wearing it again?”  Clarke asked, fingers running through Raven’s hair.

Raven let out a little laugh.  “Okay.”

Clarke hummed in content.

“But—it’s not over there, Clarke.”

“I’m still listening.”

“Because of that—him, I mean—I started having these.  Panic attacks, I mean.  They happen every so often.  When I’m at a club or something.  Surrounded by too many people.  Someone I don’t know touching me.”

“That’s understandable, Raven.”  Clarke whispered, reassuringly.

“They also happen when I get feelings for someone.  When I—when I trust someone the way I trusted that jerk.”  Raven sighed.  “It happened with Finn, the first time we—you know.  And he was so sweet and caring, I had no idea how—how awful he was,” Raven said, voice breaking.  “I never would have known.  He held me and told me I was okay.  He didn’t press on.  Fuck, Clarke, I trusted him, you know?”

“I did too, Raven.  I know.”

“And then, Octavia—”

Clarke’s ministrations upon Raven’s skin stopped.  “Did she…try to have sex with you or something?”

Raven sighed.  “No.  She straight up rejected me.”

“Oh, honey.”

“I was about to tell her, you know?  That I liked her.  A lot.  And she was just so focused on this dating site she joined, shoving these guys in my face that were 100% compatibility matches with her.  And I don’t know what came over me—I guess, just, I felt that loss again, right away.  Like how that kid didn’t really want me, he was just using me—and Octavia, I don’t know, just, her rejection made me feel pathetic, like she didn’t feel the same,”

Clarke shushed Raven gently.  “C’mon, face me.  You’re alright.”

Raven turned over onto her other side, eyes boring into Clarke’s.  “I didn’t know what to do, Clarke.  I felt all those negative things again—like no one really loved me, like I was wasting my time caring about someone.  It just happened, the panic attack—”

“You never have to justify a panic attack, Raven.  Trust me, they happen.  Sometimes with reason, sometimes without,” Clarke reassured her.  “Look, Octavia does care about you.  Whether it is as a friend or more I’m not positive; but you will never lose her.  She will always be a part of your life, okay?  So will we.”  Clarke smiled.

The tiny bed was just that—tiny.  Raven’s nose bumped against Clarke’s as she looked up at the girl, taking a shaky breath.  Raven swallowed.  “Promise?”

Clarke reached for Raven’s hand.  Seeking out Raven’s pinky, she wrapped her own around it.  “ _Pinky_ promise,” she grinned.

Raven laughed.  “What is this, first grade?”

Clarke poked out her tongue.

Raven gasped, feeling the tip of Clarke’s tongue touch her chin.

“Whoops, sorry.”  Clarke giggled.

Raven froze.

She needed Clarke, needed _someone_.  She felt like shit.  Finding out her somewhat-boyfriend’s true colors and losing Octavia in the span of a few weeks was too much for her.

She needed someone to _care_.

She pressed her lips lightly against Clarke’s.  Clarke stilled, before pulling back slowly.  “Raven, I don’t think this is a good idea,” she muttered.

Raven exhaled, eyes falling shut.  “Please, Clarke,” her voice cracked.

Clarke’s hand rested in Raven’s.  “You’re sad. You just want someone to be there, Raven.  You’ll regret this in the morning.”

“I won’t,” she rasped, licking her dry lips.  “I—I know this would mean nothing, but fuck, Clarke, you’ve made me feel more comfortable, more cared about today than I have in years.  Can you—please, just tonight?”

 “You know this isn’t love, right?  I’m not in love with you.”

“I’m not in love with you, either, Clarke,” Raven responded.

“You just want to pretend.”

“Yeah.”

Raven bumped her nose against Clarke’s, lips grazing slightly over the blonde’s.  Clarke let out a little laugh.  “Raven…”

Raven ignored her, pressing her lips harder against Clarke’s.  She knotted her fingers in Clarke’s hair, holding the girl close, before tears started falling down her cheeks.

 “I can’t.  I thought it would help,” Raven sat up.

“Shh,” Clarke shushed her, sitting up as well.  She moved so she was next to Raven.  “You’re okay.  You’re fine.”

“I’m sorry, I just, I totally—I threw myself on you, I’m so sorry, God, I’m sorry, Clarke,”

“Don’t be.”

“I thought—I thought since you cared, it’d be okay.   That you’d make me forget.  But I just want _her_.”

“Oh, Raven,” Clarke sighed, “you don’t need to apologize.  Do what’s best for you.”

Raven nodded.  “O—Okay.  I will.”

“And you need to talk to Octavia about this, alright?”

Raven swallowed, nodding again.  “I know.  It’s just.  Hard.”

“It will be,” Clarke agreed, resting her head on Raven’s shoulder.  “But this is better, Raven.  I’m glad you chose to stop.  I want to help you, I do—I don’t know if this would’ve been the best way to deal with you problems.”

Raven chuckled.  “Maybe I just need a good run.”

Clarke laughed in turn.  “Maybe.”

Raven sighed, getting up and retreating to her own bed.  “Thank you, for trying.”

“Don’t mention it.  What are friends for?”

Raven smiled.  “I really am sorry.  I should’ve waited for you to say something.  I don’t—I don’t ever want to take advantage of someone.  Not after what happened to me.”

“You didn’t Raven.  You didn’t take advantage of me; you kissed me, you wanted to feel better.  But you stopped.  That’s what matters, Raven.”

Raven wiped her wet cheeks.  “You’re too good of a friend.  You and Octavia both.”

Clarke yawned.  “Not really.  We’re just friends, we look out for each other.  We’ll look out for you, too, Raven.  Okay?”

Raven sniffled, settling into her own bed.  “Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

* * *

Clarke woke to her phone buzzing.

_Thing #1:_  
_Buzz, buzz bitch!!!_  
_Guess who’s periscoping in an hour???_

Clarke grinned, lazily unlocking her phone.  She looked up, seeing Raven sound asleep on her bed.  Returning her attention to her phone, she typed out a reply.

_Sista Sista:  
Lexa???_

_Thing #1:_  
_Yeah bitch!!!_  
_Get ur ass home!!!_  
_I know you wanna watch ur gf answer_  
_questions_

 _Sista Sista:_  
_I’ll be home in twenty_  
_Let me just make sure Raven’s A-ok_

 _Thing #1:_  
_Oh yeah_  
_ur with her_  
_how was she last night?_

Little white lies never hurt anyone.

                _Sista Sista:_  
_She’s alright_  
_panic attacks take a toll on you_  
_She should be fine, if anything just_  
_really tired._

Not wanting to wake the girl, Clarke saw a little pad of paper and a pen on Echo’s bedside table.  She scribbled Raven a note.

_Raven,_

_Went home.  Text me when you wake up; call me if you need me._  
_You’ll be alright._  
_Remember, you need to talk to Octavia about…whatever this is._  
_Pinky promise, remember?_

_xoxo,  
Clarke_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you thought in the comments below!  
> Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon!  
> Come talk to me at jinglehalseys.tumblr.com!
> 
> (I changed my tumblr URL for the holidays! It used to be prseltongue; now it's jinglehalseys!)


	5. The One With the Halloween Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia's starting to do some serious soul-searching; Raven's trying to get Octavia out of her head; Bellamy plays relationship therapist; Echo is a party girl; Lexa does Periscope; Clarke is jealous that Bellamy starts the tickle monster train without her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, since lots of you love octaven and the octaven angst, this one's mainly octaven-centered! The clexa is coming, and it's coming SOON, I promise you guys!
> 
> I had lots of fun writing this chapter. Enjoy!

“Ready?” Anya asked, sitting on the arm chair off to the side.  “I’ll be reading you the questions from Twitter, but you can answer any that pop up on the chat, too.”

Lexa nodded once, a small smile on her lips as she sat next on the couch.  “Ready!”

“Alright, Lex, you’re on!”  Anya said, giving her sister a thumbs up.

Lexa waved at the camera.  “Hi guys!  My name’s Lexa and this is my periscope! Anya will be reading me some of your questions.  But, before we hop into that, I have a big announcement to make!”  Seeing the chat blow up at that, Lexa gave a little nervous laugh.  “Nothing to do with weddings like some of you are insinuating.  I can’t go into detail, but yesterday, Anya and I agreed to work with BuzzFeed!  We’ll be appearing in some of those videos and some of their editors and writers will appear in mine on my LGBT channel, so you guys have that to look forward to!”  Lexa waved her hands, an excited look on her face.  “So thank you very much to our friends at BuzzFeed, and we can’t wait to work with you!”  She looked over at her sister, nodding.  “Okay guys, keep sending in questions on twitter using the hashtag ‘HeyLexaLookAtThis’ and Anya will ask me some for the next hour!”

“Alright, first question: carm_karnstein00 asked, ‘who was your favorite actress growing up?’”

“Nice _Carmilla_ username.”  Lexa commented, giving two thumbs up.  She squinted, head tilting to the side ever so slightly.  “Oh!  Easy.  Kate Winslet.  She was amazing in _Titanic_ , I fell in love with her!”

“vausemanpiper34 asks, ‘Has the book tour started yet? Are you planning on doing anything outside of the US?’”

Lexa smiled, crossing her legs.  “The book tour starts November first!  So, in a week.  We’ll start here in New York and loop around the country, with DC being our last book tour on Christmas Eve.  We want to tour other places, but nothing is set in stone yet.  Depending on how many of you guys buy the book elsewhere, we’ll see where we can go!  We definitely want to, but, we’ll see.”  Lexa shrugged.

She looked down at the chat forum, seeing a bunch of “Hi from ___” pop up, as well as various “I LOVE YOU!”s. 

“marinasbitch787 asks: cats or dogs?  Dream travel destination?  Favorite candy?”

“Nice,” Lexa said, pointing at the camera.  “Marina is fantastic.  I love cats, but I love dogs, too.  I guess I don’t care.  I’m better with cats, though, less work.  So, I’ll probably end up adopting cats if I get any animals.  Having a dog in New York City would be extremely high maintenance.”

“Please, you wouldn’t last a day with a dog.  They’re so messy; you’re such a clean freak,” Anya commented off to the side.

Lexa rolled her eyes.  “I want to travel everywhere, but I really want to go to DC!  I love history.  I’ve never been, so, I’m looking forward to that when we stop there for the book tour.”

“Nerd, pick somewhere fun.”

Lexa stuck her tongue out at her sister, before saying, “Fine. Hawaii.  I’ve always wanted to go.  And I don’t think I could pick one candy, I like sweets too much.”

“scottscammie asks, ‘When did you figure out you were a lesbian?  How did your family react?’”

Lexa nodded as Anya spoke, thinking about it.  After a moment, she said, “I suppose I’ve always known.  I never had an interest in dating in middle school.  All my friends started dating boys, and it just wasn’t for me.  I didn’t realize until high school that I could actually date other girls,” she laughed, “so when I realized that, I realized, yes, I did very much want to date, just not boys.  I told my family my junior year.  For the most part, they accepted it.  My father and I don’t talk anymore.  He didn’t agree with my life decisions, but then again, he ran away from my mom when he got her pregnant, so, it’s not like I cared much about his opinion anyway.  My mom took it well.  So did my sisters.  They’re the only people who mattered.”

“I knew from the day you started kindergarten.”  Anya smiled cheekily.

Lexa looked over at her sister.  “What?”  She laughed, incredulously.

“You came home and you were tired.  You wanted to go right to bed, but Mom made you do your page of coloring homework and then eat dinner.”  Anya started, rolling her eyes.  “And you sat down all serious at the dinner table, cranky and needing your nap.  When mom asked how your first day went, you gave a great big sigh and you crossed your arms.  You said, ‘Miss Jones is too pretty, I couldn’t focus on what she was saying about shapes.  I hope I’m as pretty as her when I grow up.’”

Lexa’s cheeks burned red.  “I had a crush on my teacher then, huh?”

“Anyway,” Anya chuckled.  “halsey17 asks, ‘Who’s your crush?  Celebrity crush?”

“No crushes here, you guys.  Living _la vita alone_ at the moment.”

“I’m pretty sure Italian doesn’t work like that.”

“Whatever, Anya.  Celebrity crush?  Funny, I just had a conversation about this.  Britney Spears.  She’s been my celebrity crush since she started singing.”

Anya and Lexa went back and forth for what felt like hours, until the timer gave a little beep.  “Alright, we’re almost out of time, let’s do one last question!”  Lexa said, looking over at her sister.

Anya had a grin on her face.  Lexa knew that grin all too well.  It was her shit-eating grin.  The one that let Lexa know she was in a world of embarrassment.

“Oh no.”  Lexa mumbled.

“Oh yes.”  Anya retorted.  “hotaviablake says, ‘Clarke says hi!!’”

Lexa’s face flushed.  She looked back at the camera, a small smile on her lips.  “Hello, Clarke.”

The chat blew up.

 _Rootshaw999: WHO IS CLARK??_  
emmaswatsons22: WHAT??? WHO IS THIS CLARKE PERSON  
cookiemonsterscookie87: ????? IS CLARKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND??  
nataliedormerfan7654: what??? Is??? Happening??

“That’s all we have time for!  Love you all, thanks for your questions, bye!”  Anya said, quickly getting up from the loveseat and running down the hall.

Lexa gave a last wave at the camera, face red, before turning it off.  “I’m going to kill you!”

From down the hall, Anya yelled, “Kill Octavia!” 

-

Clarke stared at the now disconnected server, jaw on the floor.

Octavia nudged her, smirking.

“She said my name.”

“Yup.  You’re welcome.”

“Lexa said hi to me.”

“Yeah, because of me!”

“That is so awesome.”

“You can thank me any time,” Octavia shrugged.

Clarke tossed the iPad aside, onto the couch cushion, and launched herself at her friend, wrapping her whole body around Octavia’s.  “That is so awesome!  Like, a celebrity acknowledged me.  That’s so fucking sweet.”

Octavia hugged her back.  “I know, I know.  I’m the best.”

Clarke pressed a kiss on Octavia’s cheek.  “Yes you are.”

The ringing of Clarke’s phone caught both the girls’ attentions.  Clarke untangled herself from Octavia, reaching into her pocket.  “Hello?”

Octavia sat upright, fixing her ponytail.  She listened as Clarke jabbered away, not paying much mind to the conversation.  She pulled out her own phone, bringing her knees up to her chest as she started texting.

_Hey u ok?_

After a few minutes, once Clarke had left the room—still on the phone—and Octavia had stared silently at the wall for a period of time, she got a response.

_Raven Baeven:  
yeah_

_Tavie:  
u need anything?_

_Raven Baeven:  
no. _

_Tavie:  
did I do something?_

_Raven Baeven:  
??_

_Tavie:_  
u never just text one word.  
is this your equivalent of “k.” –ing me?  
rae, what did I do?

_Raven Baeven:  
i’m tired._

Octavia scoffed. 

 _Tavie:_  
_yeah I bet._  
_why won’t u talk to me?_  
_what happened yesterday?_

_Raeven Baeven:  
don’t worry about it octavia._

_Tavie:_  
_well i’m gonna!_  
_my friend walks out of my room crying,_  
_my brother tells me. and then she’s having_  
_a panic attack on my porch._  
_rae, what the hell is up?_

_Raeven Baeven:_  
_I don’t want to talk about it, okay?_  
_go back to your dating website or smth_  
_you seem to care about those guys a lot._  
_I don’t feel like talking to you right now._

Octavia’s eyes welled with tears.

What had she done wrong?

She locked her phone, tossing it to the side.  Wrapping her arms around her knees, she dropped her head against her forearms, sighing.  She played over the night before in her head.

Raven came over with Echo.  They went to her room.  Octavia told Raven about the dating website.  Raven ran out of her room.  What the hell happened in the time between?

Okay, so maybe Raven was offended that Octavia set her up a dating profile.  Maybe she took it as an insult that she couldn’t get a date?  But, no, that wouldn’t cause a panic attack. 

“Great, just when I figure out I care about Raven as more than a friend, she’s pissed at me for God knows what reason.”  Octavia mumbled, hot tears sliding down her cheeks.

“Octavia?”

Octavia’s head snapped up, seeing her brother standing at the other side of the small living room.  “Bell?”

Bellamy walked over to his sister’s side, pulling her close to his chest.  “O, what’s going on?”

Octavia wrapped her arms around her brother.  Her lip wobbled as she closed her eyes, leaning into his embrace.  “I have no idea what happened, Bell.”

Bellamy sighed, holding his sister tight.  “You’re okay.”

“I screwed up, but I don’t know how!  I—I thought Raven was my friend.  We always talk about guys, you know?  So I thought it’d be fun to make us both a dating profile.  So we could go on dates and stuff.  Like, double dates together.  And I don’t know what happened, but then—then she got upset, and all that stuff happened, and, and Clarke was holding her and, and Bell!”  She whined, hiccupping.  “I was jealous.”

Bellamy brushed the hair off of his sister’s wet cheeks.  “Jealous of who?  Clarke?”

She nodded.

Bellamy smiled.  “That’s silly.  Clarke’s in nursing school, she knows how to handle an anxiety attack.  That’s why she helped Raven.  You don’t need to worry about her stealing your new friend. “

“No, Bellamy,” she cried, clutching his thin t-shirt.  “I was jealous seeing her—her holding Raven.  Holding her hand.  I—I think I like her.”

Bellamy nodded, processing the information.  He settled with saying, “Well, Clarke isn’t interested in Raven like that.  She’s not your competition.”

With a shaky breath, Octavia said, “But Raven’s mad at me.  I don’t know why.  She—she’s upset.  She won’t text me more than a word.”  She pulled back from her brother, wiping her eyes.  “What did I do?”

Bellamy gave her a sad smile.  “You’re oblivious, Octavia.”

Octavia frowned.  “What?”

“Raven’s been flirting with you for the past two months.  I’m sure her ego is a little bruised since you didn’t catch on.  Not only that, but you were insinuating that she should date someone _else_.”

Octavia went still.  “What do you mean?  No she hasn’t.  Besides, she got all upset yesterday when I wanted to show her the profile I made for her; she said she was already interested in a girl here.  She didn’t want a dating profile.”

Bellamy laughed.  “Yeah, idiot, it’s you.  She was probably trying to tell you that she liked you.”

Octavia’s face went pale.  “Oh my god, I kept talking about all my matches.”

Bellamy frowned at his sister, resting a hand on her back.  “Then, it makes a little sense.  She probably got jealous, and didn’t know how to deal with those feelings.  Maybe something else is going on, and that rejection just…made her snap.  I don’t know her as well as you do, Octavia.”

“Oh, god,” Octavia groaned, burying her face in her hands.  “Of course.  I reject the girl right before I realize I like her.”

Bellamy patted her back gently.  “Okay, Octavia.  Before doing anything stupid, just breathe.  Answer something for me, alright?”

Octavia nodded, wiping away the tear that slid down her face as she looked up at her brother.  “Okay.”

“You said you only realized you liked her once Clarke was taking care of her.  Think for a minute, okay?  Do you really like her?  Or were you just jealous, and that’s how you translated what you felt?”

Octavia swallowed hard.  It hit her like a train, yesterday.  She hadn’t thought about Raven in any romantic sense prior to that moment.  Did she really like Raven?  Or was Bellamy right?  Was she just worried that her friend was being taken away from her?

“I don’t know,” she croaked, sighing.  “I hadn’t ever…looked at her as more than a friend before last night.”

Bellamy pulled his arm away from his sister.  “Raven likes you a lot.  Don’t tell her you like her until you’re positive.  She’s probably already sad enough that you hadn’t shown interest in her like she had you, and I’m sure yesterday felt like a low blow to her.  It sounds to me like she was going to tell you how she felt, and you just…kind of rejected her.”

Octavia groaned, punching her brother’s chest.  “You’re the opposite of supportive right now.”

“I’m just being honest, Octavia,” he smiled at his sister.  “If you go telling her you have feelings for her and explain what happened, yeah, she’ll probably be happy and forgive you.  But if you do all then and then you realize that you don’t really like her as more than friends, that it was just jealousy…you’ll break her heart more, Octavia.  I think the best thing would be to give her space for a while.  Think this through, figure out if you want Raven to be your friend or more.  Once you can decide that, take it from there.  If you just want to be friends, apologize, say you’re sorry you don’t return her feelings, but you care about her too much to not be in her life.  A real friend would be okay with that.  If she cares about you as a person, she’ll accept that you don’t reciprocate her feelings and move on.  But, if you want to be more…Octavia, I’ve seen the way she looks at you.  She’s crushing on you big time.  But only make an advance on that if you’re positive you want a relationship with her.”

Okay, so maybe Bellamy _was_ right.  But Octavia didn’t have to like it.  “I—I don’t know what to do.”  She said.

“That’s okay.  Take time and think.  Make use of that dating website, go on a couple of dates this week.  It is Halloween this weekend, maybe go to a party.  Maybe being in the dating pool will help you figure out if you like Raven or not.  If you do, the dates just won’t click.  You’ll want to be with her.  But if the dates go well…then, you’ll figure it out that you were just scared of losing a friend.  There is no right or wrong answer here, O.  Raven’s a little upset with you, but you need to let her be.  She has the right.  But I know she will be your friend no matter what at the end of the day.”

Bellamy was surprised when Octavia rested her head against Bellamy’s shoulder.  “You’re right.”

With a grin, he wrapped an arm around Octavia, using his free hand to give her a noogie.  “Don’t act so surprised, I’m always right.”

“Ugh!”  Octavia groaned, pushing her brother off of her.  “You’re so rude!  You know I’ve always hated those,” she pouted, hands going to her head to smooth down her hair.

“Don’t lie; they’ve always cheered you up.”

With an indignant look on her face, Octavia crossed her arms.  “Maybe they have,” she relented, sighing exasperatedly.  Bellamy poked her side.  Octavia let out a squeal.  “No,” she warned, eyes locking with her brother’s.  “Don’t you dare.”

“No one’s too old for the tickle monster,” he threatened, waggling his fingers. 

“Don’t you dare, I _will_ call Mom and tell her you’re being mean to me!”  Octavia threatened.

The minute Bellamy’s fingers came to Octavia’s sides, she let out a loud yelp.  She laughed, trying to swat away Bellamy’s hands, to no avail.

“Hey, no fair!”  A voice came from the hallway.  “Don’t get the tickle monster started without me!”

Octavia gasped.  “No, no, no!  Two against one is _not_ fair!”

Clarke was beside Bellamy in an instant, laughing as they tortured Octavia with tickles.  After a long struggle, Octavia broke free, gasping for air as she laughed.  “You suck, my sides are gonna be bruised!”  She whined.

Bellamy high fived Clarke.  “Just like when we were kids.”

Octavia blew a raspberry at the both of them.  “Yeah, you two always ganged up on me and Mom thought it was funny!”

“What can we say; it’s our job to torment our little sister.”  Clarke said, batting her eyelashes innocently.

Octavia groaned, leaning against the wall.  “I hate you both.  If you excuse me, I need to go shower, I have a 2:30 class that’s going to kill me today.”

As Octavia made her way down the hall (not bothering to keep her half-angry half-amused whines to herself about how her sides hurt), Clarke turned to Bellamy.  “You only do that when she’s sad.  What’s up?”

Bellamy sighed.  “She’s jealous of you.”

Clarke was taken aback.  “What?”

“You helped Raven last night.  She…doesn’t know if she likes Raven as more than friends or not, but she got jealous.  Apparently Raven’s mad at her right now, too, so, I told her to take her time and figure out if she likes Raven or not.  You know, go on dates with other people, see if they click.  Or, if she’s going to sit there on those dates and wish it was Raven, well, she’ll figure that out quickly.”

Clarke nodded, agreeing with him.  “That sounds like a good idea.  Poor Octavia,” she made a face.  “I was just trying to help Raven calm down.  I didn’t even think—”

“Hey,” Bellamy said, grasping her hand tightly in his.  “It’s not your fault Raven’s mad at Octavia; you have nothing to be sorry about.  She was going on and on about these guys she met online, and I guess Raven got jealous.  I think it’s best if we just leave them both alone for a while.”

Clarke pulled Bellamy in for a hug.  “Aww, you’re such a good big brother,” she teased.  Looking over Bellamy’s shoulder, she saw Echo, groggily walking down the hall.  Clarke gave a little gasp, seeing her only wear a long, baggy tee.  She pulled away from Bellamy, giving him a knowing face.  “Nice,” she said, holding her fist up for a fist bump.

Bellamy went red.  “We didn’t sleep together!”

“I was wondering where she was, I went into my room to answer a call and she wasn’t there.” Clarke said, raising an eyebrow.

Echo ignored the two’s banter, walking into their kitchen.  “Don’t bother lying Bellamy.  Where do you keep your milk?  I need coffee.”

“It should be behind the OJ on the second shelf,” Clarke said, not breaking eye contact with Bellamy.  “Ayy,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.  Relenting, Bellamy fist bumped her.  “Was she good?” Clarke whispered.

“Clarke!”

-

Days passed without a text from Octavia.

Raven groaned, falling back in her bed.

Echo laughed.  “Still upset about Octavia?”

“I’m still pissed at her.”

“Well, to be fair, she didn’t know you liked her.”  Echo said, typing away on her computer. 

Raven let out another whine, banging her head against the pillow.

“Okay, I’m tired of your moping, you’ve been sad for the past five days.  Get the fuck up,” Echo said, moving her laptop aside.

Raven stood, crossing her arms.  “Happy?”

Echo clucked her tongue.  “It is ten o’clock on a Friday night, do you know what that means?”

“Uh, I really need to start writing my paper that’s due by midnight Sunday night?”  Raven guessed.

“Very cute.  No, dipshit, it means that you are a nineteen year old girl who is way too pretty to be sleeping alone.  The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, so get fucking dressed and we’ll go clubbing.”  Echo said, pulling her own shirt overhead.  She walked to the closet, rummaging through the clothes.  “I need to find you a dress that screams ‘hoe on the rebound.’  Guys love that.”

Raven sighed, plopping back down on her bed, butt first.  “I don’t _want_ to be with anyone else, Echo.  I just want Octavia.”

“Yeah, well, show her what she’s missing,” Echo said, pulling out a few dresses and laying them across her bed.  “Make her jealous.  Show her how much fun you can have without her.  Besides, getting a good lay in never hurts anyone.  We’ll find you a hot guy to grind all up on all night, and then you’ll go back to his place and have hot, wild, dirty sex, and then we’ll rub all the hickeys in Octavia’s face and she’ll realize that she wants you, bad.”

“Do I have a choice in this?”

“No, I’m pimping you out.  Get dressed, hoebag.”

“You’re such a caring friend.”  Raven rolled her eyes, but dragged herself out of the warm embrace of her comforter nonetheless.  She walked to Echo’s bed, eyeing the dresses.  “These are, uh, short.  And tight.”

“You’ve got a great body,” Echo shrugged.  “Show it off.”

Raven held one up to her body, looking in the long mirror hanging on the inside of the closet door.  “Eh, blue isn’t my color.”

“Here,” Echo handed her another.  “Black looks good on everyone.”

Raven shrugged, holding it up against herself as she twisted side to side.  “It’s certainly a slutty dress,” she said, eyeing the strategic use of mesh along the sides.  “Do I have to go braless in this one?”

“There’s cups in it,” Echo said, wiggling out of her pajama pants.  After unhooking her bra and tossing it aside, she grabbed a red dress hanging up in the small closet, wriggling around to pull it up over her body.  It was a bodycon dress, much like the one Raven was holding up, though there was no mesh; the sides were open, leaving little to the imagination.  Raven whistled, watching as Echo strategically maneuvered her breasts to show as much cleavage as possible.  “See?  Easy.  Hoe dress on, now to put on the skanky makeup.”

Raven laughed.  Echo was so sheltered at the beginning of the year, but she really did open up once she trusted you. 

She was just the kind of friend Raven needed right now.

With a little shrug, Raven put on the dress Echo handed to her.  It was a little tight, but she thought she looked good, nonetheless.  She dug through the pile of shoes in the girls’ shared closet, pulling out heels for the both of them.  “Why do we do this to ourselves?  Girls, I mean.  We put on these,” she held up a pair of stilettos for emphasis, “…incredibly uncomfortable shoes.  And if that’s not enough, we _dance_ in them all night.  For what?”

“Dick.”

“Hardly a good enough reason,” Raven shook her head.  “Hey, aren’t you and Bellamy…like a thing now?”

Echo shrugged.  “I don’t know.  We only slept together once.”

“Why don’t you call him?  I’m sure you’d rather be dancing with him than some sleazy stranger.”  Raven said, pulling a particularly strappy pair of heels on her feet.

“That wouldn’t make you uncomfortable?  Having the girl-you’re-trying-to-forget-about’s brother all up in my grill all night?”  Echo asked, turning away from the mirror on her dresser where she was doing her makeup to look back at Raven.

Raven gave a little shrug.  “I mean, I don’t know.”

Echo gave Raven a smile.  “We aren’t dating.  He has no say what I do with my body or my free time.  I like him, but we aren’t official.  I can dance with a few guys tonight.”

Raven didn’t want to thank her, but she was relieved. 

“Here, let me do your makeup,” Echo said, piling her makeup in her little makeup bag and walking over to her bed.  She sat, crossing her legs, patting the spot in front of her for Raven to sit.

In less than an hour, the two were out the door, on the road.  “You have a fake ID, right?”

Raven gave a low laugh, a little nervous.  “Yeah.  Octavia got some made for us last year.  She used hers but,”

Echo grinned, looking away from the road and at Raven.  “You’ve never used yours?”

Raven blushed.  “No.”

“Ah, good girl, I see.”  Echo laughed.  “Looks like I’m taking your clubbing virginity then, huh?”

“Well, that’s one way to word it.  You’ve done this before?”  Raven asked.

Echo nodded.  “Yeah.  My sisters actually have this friend, his name is Lincoln.  Anyway, he’s from here in DC, but he does business in New York and occasionally plays in Anya’s band.  The club I’m taking you to is his.  Well, his family’s.  They don’t ever check my ID, since we’re family friends.  Kind of illegal, but, whatever.  If I say you’re with me they most likely won’t care.  But I want you to have that on you in case.”

“Okay,” Raven let out a deep breath.  “Anya has a band?”

“Yeah,” Echo smiled.  “They’re called _the Grounders_.  Sort of a rock band.  They’re really good.  Anya runs a bar in New York, where they play all the time.  Lincoln actually works there when he’s in New York for business.  Not often, but a couple nights a week he’ll help Anya out.”

“So, what does Lincoln actually do?  Besides being a bartending, club-owning band member?”  Raven chuckled.

“Like I said, the club is his family’s.  He’s twenty-five; he took over the reins from his dad a couple years ago.”  Echo turned into a wide parking lot.  They own a chain of clubs throughout the east coast.  He watches over them.  Their headquarters is in New York, though, so most of his time is spent there.  He comes back here for a couple of weeks every few months to check up on this place.  It’s his favorite, after all.  This club was the first one he ever managed alone, when he was twenty.  Anya’s actually one of his partners, now.  The bar she runs is in a partnership with his clubs; they expanded on her building and built a club for him on the upper level.  That’s why he helps out there.”

Raven hummed.  “Seems like a cool job.”

Echo shrugged, putting the car in park.  Taking the keys out of the ignition and shoving them in her tiny purse, she looked over at Raven.  “Ready to get your slut on?”

Raven rolled her eyes.  “I was born ready.”

-

Was this a good idea?

Probably not.

But with a few shots of vodka coursing through her veins and an attractive man behind her, with his hands all over her body, Raven didn’t care too much.

She hadn’t done this before.  A one-night stand.  She hoped it didn’t cause another panic-induced night—but oh, god, when his teeth sunk into her neck, her mind buzzing, any fear Raven had melted away. 

She was a tad drunk.

Just a little tipsy.

Barely influenced enough to make her want to have her brains fucked out so she could forget Octavia, while still being sober enough to make that call on her own and know what she was doing.

Echo found her an hour later disheveled in the bathroom, panting after Mr. McDreamy Club Guy had his hands in her panties, and her neck was peppered with bruises.

Any thoughts of Octavia were gone for the night.

-

They came back the next morning, with Raven’s head pounding.

It was Saturday. No classes.  She really should start working on that paper, she knew.

She tried, to no avail, all day to write the damn thing, to exercise, to do _anything_ to keep her mind off her friend who—still—hadn’t tried to speak to her in nearly a week.

By the time the evening had rolled around, Raven gave up.  Two pages of her five page essay had been written.  She could finish the rest tomorrow.

She stared at her phone, willing it to buzz with Octavia’s name.

Unsurprisingly, staring at the damn thing didn’t work.

She clicked the lock button, opening it up, when the date caught her attention.

What did college kids love to do on Halloween?

Get drunk off their asses.

It worked the night before, even for just a few hours.

Raven called Echo.

“Hello?”

“Do you know anyone who’s throwing a party tonight?  I had fun yesterday.  We should go to one.”

-

That’s how Raven found herself in the bathroom of some senior’s apartment, hoisted up on the sink.  The skirt of her impromptu costume was hiked up around her waist, her head thrown back against the mirror as some girl—Harper, she thought the name was—ate her out like it was her job.

-

Octavia stared at her phone.

She willed it to ring, with Raven’s name popping up on the screen.

It seemed like she didn’t have that power, either.

Clarke rolled her eyes, watching the pathetic display of Octavia banging her head against her bedroom wall.  “It’s Halloween.”  Clarke said, crossing her arms and leaning against Octavia’s doorframe.  “And I just happen to have really slutty costumes for us.”

“Don’t whore my sister out!”  Bellamy yelled upon hearing this from his own room, adjacent to his sister’s.

“Shut up, Bell!”  Clarke called back.  She nodded her head across the hall, towards her room.  She waved for Octavia to follow her.  “Come on,”

Begrudgingly, Octavia followed the blonde.  “Now, Nathan Miller is hosting a huge party at his apartment.  You remember him, Monty’s boyfriend?  Anyway, I’m going.  And you’re going, too.  Bellamy is right, you need to date around.  It’s the fastest way to figure out if you like Raven or not.  Now, stop pouting that she hasn’t texted you this week, and pick if you want to be Poison Ivy or Harley Quinn.”

“I don’t have red hair.  Neither do you.  How will we pull off Poison Ivy?”

“Uh, hello?  Guys don’t care about if your costume is accurate, they just care about how much of your ass is out.  Poison Ivy or Harley Quinn?” Clarke asked again, holding one of the costumes in each of her hands.

“Ugh, fine.  Poison Ivy.”

“Yay!” Clarke cheered, handing Octavia the costume bag.  “I was hoping you’d pick her.  I love Harley Quinn.”

With a roll of the eyes, Octavia got dressed.  “How do I look?”  She asked, laughing as she sucked her gut in.  “Damn, this thing is tight!”

“You look hot,” Clarke said, pulling her costume’s thigh highs up.  Quickly, she pulled her hair into two messy pigtails, giving her head a little shake.  “Miller’s apartment is, like, in the complex right across the street.  So, we have no rush, but it started like an hour ago.  So we kind of do.”

Octavia quickly did her makeup, Clarke at her side doing the same.  Bellamy knocked on the door.  “Are you decent?”

“Sort of.  We’re dressed, but we’re slutty.”

He opened the door.  “Fantastic.  Be safe, okay?  I would come with to keep an eye on you, but I have a huge Greek test Monday morning.  What kind of professor gives out an exam this big after Halloween weekend, I don’t know, but I need to study for it.  I’m going to text both of you throughout the night and if you don’t respond in a half hour, I’m coming over to Miller’s, okay?  Do you both have your phones?”

“Yes, dad,” Octavia rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious, Octavia.  There are some creepy guys out there.  If they even so much as look at you the wrong way, don’t hesitate to fuck them up.  Don’t drink anything you don’t pour or mix yourself.  If you feel uncomfortable, call me.  In fact, please do.  Call me when you guys want to come home, I’ll walk over and bring you both home safe, okay?  Don’t leave Miller’s apartment.”

“Bell,” Clarke smiled.  “We’ll be okay.  I promise.  Monty and Miller are sweet guys; they won’t let anything happen to us.”

“I know; I trust them both.  But they can’t have an eye on everyone there.”

“I’ll call you when we’re ready to come home,” Clarke said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.  “Bye, Bell!”  Clarke grabbed Octavia’s hand, pulling her down the hallway and towards the front door.

“Pull your skirt down, young lady!”  Bellamy called after Clarke, chuckling.

“No thanks!”  Clarke called back, walking out of the front door with Octavia in tow.

-

The music was loud.

It was so loud, in fact, Clarke was surprised the neighbors hadn’t complained or the cops hadn’t been called.

Then again, the neighbors were all college kids, who, granted, were probably at parties of their own.

She’d been dancing with one girl, dressed up like a sexy cop, for the better part of an hour.  Clarke couldn’t quite remember her name, with a few drinks downed over the course of the night, but she was pretty, and really good at dancing.

Octavia had stayed in the same room as Clarke for the most part, venturing off only to get them drinks every so often.  Now, she was dancing with some guy a foot and a half taller than her, in a particularly rugged Ponyboy Curtis costume, only a few people away from Clarke.

Four drinks in, and Octavia really had to pee.

She whispered, “I’ll be right back,” to the man she was dancing with, before scooting her way through the crowd.  She tapped Clarke’s shoulder, glancing between her and the brunette she was dancing with.  “Sorry to interrupt,” Octavia said.   “I need to pee, and I don’t think I can get down the hall myself.”

Clarke laughed.  “Sure.  I’ll be back,” she said to the brunette across her, who nodded.

“I’ll hold you to that,” she winked.

“We’re both getting laid tonight,” Octavia sing-sang, giggling as she pulled Clarke down the hallway.  “Which do you think is the bathroom?”

Clarke laughed.  “O, the apartment design is the same in all the campus apartments.  It’ll be the same place as ours.”

Octavia gave another giggle.  “Oh, right!”

Clarke stood outside the bathroom, trying to balance a woozy Octavia.  “Bellamy is going to kill me for letting you get so wasted,” she sighed.

Octavia pounded on the door.  “Hurry up!  I need to pee,” she called, whining.  “My bladder is going to explode!”

A low moan sounded through the door.  Clarke’s cheeks flared red.  “Uh, O, it’s currently in use.”

“Ugh, fine, I’ll wait,” Octavia sighed, pulling out of Clarke’s hold.  She put her back up against the door, sliding down it until her butt hit the floor.  Her head fell back against the wood.  “I’ll just a-sit here,”

Clarke stayed by her side, not wanting to leave the girl alone, and not able to get her to move.  She listened to the sounds of passion coming from inside the bathroom, wishing she was anywhere else.  “Gosh, I’m not into voyeurism.”  She whispered to herself, feeling how hot her cheeks were.  “Octavia doesn’t even know what’s going on in there, she’s so wasted.”

“Did you say my name, beautiful?”  Octavia asked, looking up at Clarke.

“Yes, dear,” Clarke responded.  “I said Octavia is wonderful.”

Octavia grinned cheekily up at Clarke.  “Octavia _is_ wonderful!”

Clarke sighed, pulling out her phone.  A text from Bellamy came in twenty minutes prior.  Quickly, she unlocked her phone and typed out a short response.

A loud thud caught her attention.  Clarke looked up from her phone to see Octavia, who had fallen into the bathroom when the door opened quickly.

“Oh!  God,” A girl said, laughing as Octavia’s head hit the tile.

“Ow,”

“Octavia?”

Octavia rubbed her head.  She looked up, seeing familiar brown eyes.

“Raven?”

“Oh no,” Clarke whimpered.

This was not going to end well, was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I didn't say it was going to be octaven fluff.
> 
> I changed my URL for the holidays! Come visit me at jinglehalseys.tumblr.com to pester me to write stuff or to talk!
> 
> Let me know what you thought in the comments below!


	6. The One Where Clarke Finds Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Anya are on the book tour; Octavia and Raven sort of make up; Bellamy is an annoying asshole of a big brother; Clarke almost gets laid; the clexa begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!
> 
> Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes, I'm with family and it's hectic trying to write/edit this on top of baking dessert and preparing Thanksgiving dinner for 50 people! If there are any glaring errors, just comment them & I'll fix them :)

Clarke hurried to pick Octavia off of the floor.  “Ow, ow,” Octavia hissed, hand going to the back of her head.

Clarke looked at the white tile, seeing a smudge of blood.  “Oh no,” she cried, reaching for Octavia.  “Honey, you’re bleeding, move your hand, let me see.”

Octavia did as she was told, dropping her hand.  As Clarke inspected the split, Octavia pointed a finger at Raven.  “I—I see how it is,” she slurred.  “You ignore me for a week—your bestest friend—and you go and fuck some tart.”

“Hey, Octavia, that’s not—”

Octavia hissed as Clarke moved her hair away from the wound.  “I’m sure she’s—she’s a lovely tart, but a tart all the same!  She stole my friend,”  

Clarke inspected the wound, running over a list of questions in her head.

 _Is the skull depressed?_ No.  
_Are her eyes okay? Are they bleeding?_  She glanced around, looking at Octavia’s eyes. No, they’re okay.  
_Is the skull pierced?_ No.

Okay, so she could apply pressure to the wound.

“Okay, enough, don’t touch your head, O.” Clarke said, walking into the small bathroom.  She quickly washed her hands.  Bringing a hand towel out, she pressed it against Octavia’s head, applying pressure.  “We need to get you to the ER, it looks like it needs stitches.”

Raven paled.  “What?  Is she going to be okay?”

“She should be, but we really have to—”

Octavia interrupted Clarke.  “Like you care,” she spat at Raven, rolling her eyes.

Raven huffed.  “I _do_ care, Octavia!”

“Then why didn’t you text me?”

“Why didn’t you text _me_?”

“Enough,” Clarke hissed.  “You’re agitating her, Raven.  And you’re agitating yourself, O.  I’m calling an ambulance; let’s get you downstairs, okay?  It’s not too bad, so we can move you, but I want to get you to the hospital in case it needs stitching, okay?”

“Take care of her,” Raven pleaded, looking at Clarke.

Clarke nodded.

“Please, like that hussy cares about me.” Octavia groaned as Clarke dragged her off.

“Don’t talk about your friend like that,” Clarke chided, ignoring the looks from the partygoers.  “Besides, you know how much she cares about you.”

“Yeah, so much.  She shows it by sleeping around.”

Clarke clucked her tongue.  “You rejected her, O.  She’s allowed to sleep with other people.”

“Hey!  Whoa—Clarke, what happened?”  Monty asked, popping up beside the two.

“Slipped, cracked her head.  I need to get her downstairs and call an ambulance, okay?”

“Let me help,” he said, bringing Octavia’s other arm around his shoulders.  The two carried her down to the apartment complex entrance, when Clarke called for an ambulance.  After a moment of deliberation, she called Bellamy.

_“Hey!  You girls ready to come home?”_

“Bell, don’t be mad.”

_“Clarke, what happened?”_

“Octavia fell and hit her head on some tile.  She’s going to need stitches.  She’s conscious and talking—Jesus, she won’t shut up about Raven—but we’ve called an ambulance, if you want to get over here.”

_“I’ll be right over.”_

The line went dead quickly.

Clarke sighed, still keeping the pressure constant against Octavia’s head.  “I had one job, and that was to keep her safe,” she mumbled, grimacing at the blood slowly seeping through the towel.

Monty put his hand on Clarke’s shoulder.  “She’s going to be okay.”

“She doesn’t like being talked about like she can’t hear you,” Octavia groaned.  “God, my head hurts.”

Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle.  “No shit, Sherlock, you cracked the skin open when your hard head hit the floor.”

Octavia didn’t laugh.  “Thanks for the play by play.”

Clarke looked over at Monty.  “Go on upstairs, get back to your guests.  I’ve got her.”

“No way,” he shook his head.  “Like hell I’m leaving two beautiful, scantily clad women on the sidewalk at one in the morning.  I’m staying right here until Bellamy shows up.”

Clarke gave Monty a small smile.  “You’re so sweet,” she said, giving a tired sigh. 

Octavia began crying.  “I want Bellamy!”

Clarke shushed her, rubbing small circles on her back.  She knew the alcohol was having an effect on Octavia—which really didn’t help their situation.  Clarke couldn’t judge whether the wobbliness and dizziness of Octavia was from the head injury or the fireball she’d downed an hour ago.  “Bellamy will be here in a minute.”  Octavia let out another loud cry, shoulders rising and falling in tempo with her ragged breathing.  “Sweetie, I need you to calm down.  Crying will make your head hurt worse, okay?”

“It hurts,” she whined. 

“Your head?  Well, yeah,”

“No, my heart.”

Monty frowned, not knowing whether to comment or not.  He shuffled awkwardly behind Clarke.

“I spent _all_ week figuring out if I—I liked her,” the words were a hodgepodge coming out of her drunken mouth, but Clarke was well versed in the world of slurring, so she managed to make sense of most of it.  “Or if I was jus—just jealous of you.  And I re-uh-lies, that I was in love with her!”  Octavia let out another long cry.  “I spen’ months with her, and I fell in love with her without even realizin’ it, Clarke!  And I blew it!  And she—she’s out sleeping with other girls like, like I meant nothin’ to her.  I want Bellamy!”

As if on cue, her brother appeared, running fast down the sidewalk.  “Is she okay?  How bad is it?  Oh, God, it’s bad isn’t it?”

“Calm down,” Clarke said, looking pointedly at Bellamy.  “I’ve already got one Blake freaking out, I don’t need you both.  Octavia will be fine, her skull wasn’t punctured.  It looks like the skin is all that was split, but I don’t know how deep.  At most she’ll need stitches.”

Octavia opened her arms for her brother.  Bellamy quickly hugged her, pulling her close while Clarke kept pressure on the back of Octavia’s head.

Monty cleared his throat.  “Well, now that Bellamy’s here, I’d best be getting back upstairs.  Let everyone know you’re okay.”

Bellamy nodded, thanking Monty for staying with the girls.

In minutes, the ambulance was there, and they hoisted Octavia up in it.   Clarke and Bellamy sat on either side of her, sitting in the back of the big vehicle.

“Have you consumed any alcohol tonight?” The EMT asked Octavia, running routine inspection.

Octavia kept her mouth pressed in a thin line.

“Miss Blake, we won’t call the cops on you.  We need to know what you’ve drank or any drugs you’ve taken in order to keep you as safe and stable as possible.  No legal action will be taken.”

“I didn’t do any drugs,” Octavia offered.  “But I had a teensy weensy amount of drinks.  Un poco.”

The EMT looked at Clarke.  “About four,” Clarke reasoned, giving the man a shrug.

Bellamy frowned, staring at Clarke.  Clarke ignored his angry gaze, instead focusing on Octavia.

They arrived at the hospital soon after, waiting in the waiting area, towel still against Octavia’s head.  Clarke handed the pressure duty off to Bellamy as she shook the numbness out of her arms. 

Octavia gripped at the clipboard she’d been given, trying to focus on the print to no avail.  “Here,” Clarke said, grabbing the board and pen from Octavia’s hands.  “Let me fill this stuff out.”  She paused only to ask Octavia questions she didn’t know—her social security number, for one—but it ended up being Bellamy who filled in the blanks for the drunken brunette.

After what felt like forever, Octavia was taken back into a room, leaving Bellamy and Clarke waiting for the clear to come in.

“Clarke,” Bellamy started, taking a deep breath.  “I’m—”

“Pissed at me, I know.”

“No.  I’m angry, but not at you.  You said she fell, right?”

“Sort of.”

“What does sort of mean?”

Clarke gave a long sigh.  She turned her body to better face Bellamy, launching into the story of what happened.  “And now, she’s really upset because Raven was having sex with another girl.”

Bellamy crossed his arms, shaking his head.  “I mean, she has the right to be upset.  Just like Raven has the right to sleep with whoever she wants.”

“They’re digging themselves some deep holes,” Clarke said, leaning back in the uncomfortable plastic chair.  “I wish we could just fix this for them.”

Bellamy mimicked Clarke, leaning back in his own seat.  “They need to figure this out themselves.”

After a lull of silence, Clarke grabbed for her phone, tucked strategically in her bra.  She pulled it out, scrolling through her Twitter feed.

_@NoneAnyaBusiness: Who’s ready for the book tour? #ALBookTour starts tomorrow bitches!!_

|

_@empresslexa: Kicking off tomorrow at 7:00 right here in NY!  Only a few tickets are left for each of our tours, buy them quick! #ALBookTour_

Clarke clicked on Lexa’s twitter profile, looking at the other various tweets she’d posted through the course of the day.

_@empresslexa: don’t forget to buy our book so we can sign it for you at the tours!_

_@empresslexa: @jj320_p: YES, we will be taking pictures on the tours!_

One particular tweet from a few hours prior caught Clarke’s attention.  Her breath caught in her throat, seeing a picture of Lexa, dressed up as a femme version of the Joker, tugging on her lapels.  Clarke’s throat went dry, seeing the leotard-cut outfit, Lexa’s leg adorned with fishnets.

_@empresslexa: who’s going to be my Harley Quinn tonight?  #HalfJoking #HarleyQuinnCostumesAreMyWeaknessTonight_

Without even thinking about what she was doing, Clarke quickly went to her profile and made it public.  Hardly skipping a beat, she went back to Lexa’s tweet and hit the reply button, attaching a picture she’d taken with Octavia when the two had first arrived at Miller’s party.

|

_@princessgriffin: Funny you should ask, I was looking for Puddin’ all night!_

 “Mr. Blake, Miss Griffin,” a voice sounded, catching the two’s attention.

Clarke quickly pressed the send button, looking up at the nurse walking towards them.  “Visiting hours are over, so unfortunately I can’t let you come see Miss Blake, but she is doing well.  She only needed nine stitches, and they’ll dissolve themselves over the course of the next few weeks.  We’ll need you to bring her back in five days to check on everything.  We’re running a few tests—the concussion test, right now—but Miss Blake should be discharged soon.  We’ll have no reason to keep her here, if everything checks out.” He said.

 “Thank you,” Bellamy said, standing to shake the nurse’s hand.  “We’ll be right here, bring us any updates you can.”

The nurse smiled.  “Your sister is doing well.  She’s even telling us how to do our job, back there.”

Bellamy chuckled, “Sounds like my sister, all right.”

The nurse glanced over at Clarke.  “She’s been mentioning a Clarke, is that you?”

Clarke nodded, standing up.  She tried to ignore how silly she felt, still in her costume, in the middle of a hospital waiting room.  “Let me guess, she’s cursing my name?”

The nurse laughed.  “No, quite the opposite.  She’s worried that you’re mad at her.”

“For what?  Getting hurt?  That’s silly,” Clarke laughed.  “Tell her we aren’t mad, and we’ll be right here waiting for when she gets discharged.  But yes, Clarke Griffin at your service,” she extended her hand.

The nurse shook it gently.  “Tyler Smith.”  Clarke looked him up and down; dark hair, blue eyes, pretty toned.  He was rather good looking.

“Any idea how soon O will be discharged?”  Bellamy asked, breaking the two’s eye contact.

The nurse nodded, hand slipping from Clarke’s as he turned to face Bellamy.  “Hopefully that will be within the next hour or so.  Now, we’ve told Miss Blake the procedure for her stitches, but, I’m assuming some of that information is a little jarred from the alcohol in her system.”

Clarke waved her hand.  “No need to go into details.  I’m a nursing student, actually, I know all about stitching treatment.”

Tyler grinned.  “Oh, so you’re basically an expert?”

Clarke shrugged, giving a pigtail a twirl.  “Basically,” she agreed.

The nurse raised his eyebrows, before giving a little laugh.  “Nonetheless, I’ve written it all down here,” he pulled at a sticky note on his clipboard, handing it to Clarke as his eyes raked over her costume.  “Not that you’ll need it, Nurse Griffin.”

Bellamy cleared his throat, wrapping an arm around Clarke’s shoulders.  “Well, thank you, Nurse.  We appreciate you keeping us up to date.”

The nurse went red in the face.  Clarke looked up at Bellamy, anger etched across her features, but the nurse didn’t seem to notice.  “I—of course!  I better be on my way, patients to care for and such.  Goodnight!”

With that, the nurse departed, leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone in the waiting room. 

“You’re an ass!” She whined, hitting Bellamy in the chest, pushing him away from her body.

“And he was too focused on yours,”

Clarke tugged at her skirt, indignantly pulling it down.

“So now you’ll listen to me and pull that down?”

“Oh, be quiet!”

* * *

It was two fucking forty five in the morning.

She really needed to be sleeping.

Yet here she was: laying wide awake in her bed, knees up, sweatpants around her hips as she balanced her laptop on her lap, binge watching countless episodes of _Parks and Recreation_. She really should be sleeping, with the book tour starting later that day, and thus almost two months of nonstop flying and driving starting.  But, damn it, Leslie and Ben were about to get married and there was no way she was missing that.

As the theme song played for the umpteenth time that night, Lexa pulled her phone out of her sweatpants pocket, opening up her Twitter.  She mindlessly scrolled through her notifications, but her heart nearly stopped as she saw a username she recognized.

_@princessgriffin: Funny you should ask, I was looking for Puddin’ all night!_

As if Lexa’s heart hadn’t come to a stop by that point, it certainly had when she tapped the attached picture, seeing the familiar blonde dressed up in a small, revealing Harley Quinn outfit.

Dear lord, she even had _thigh highs_.

Lexa all but wheezed, looking away from the screen.  “Can you _be_ any gayer?”  She asked herself, staring at her ceiling.  She should _not_ be thinking the lecherous things she was about a stranger!

After a moment of internal screaming that the cute blonde had replied to Lexa, Lexa quickly retweeted the picture, replying:

|

_@empresslexa: Harley Darlin’!._

She was embarrassed for herself, seeing the immediate response of people on Twitter, retweeting and commenting on the tweet like crazy.

Lexa shut her laptop, setting it on the other side of the bed. She let her head fall back against the pillow, dropping her phone on her chest as she groaned audibly.  “Why is she so hot?”

* * *

It was four in the morning when Clarke’s phone’s buzzing finally made her snap.  With a growl, she listened to the Twitter notifications continually beep as she unlocked her phone.  “What the hell is going on?”  She grumbled, seeing over a thousand notifications on her Twitter.

She sleepily scrolled down, seeing an assortment of comments.

 _@lanalalove88: @princessgriffin omg!! Lucky!!!_  
@jily5ever: @princessgriffin are you the same Clarke Lexa said hi to on periscope????  
@lilysinghs33: @princessgriffin OMG HER NAME IS CLARKE LEXA SAID HI TO A CLARKE ON PERISCOPE  
@reynabeth734: @princessgriffin who are you stay away from my lady  
@beverage_shan: @princessgriffin you look so cute!! You and lexa would’ve matched!! #jokerandharleyaretheotp  
@lizzymcguire92: @princessgriffin and @empresslexa would’ve SLAYED in a picture together?? Are they dating?? First she says hi to a clarke and then retweets a clarke’s picture… #hmm

Clarke couldn’t believe her eyes.  Not only had Lexa _responded_ to that tweet she’d posted, but people were actually assuming they were _together_ because of it?

She went to Lexa’s page, clicking on her username.  It was the first tweet that popped up, in response to the picture she’d tweeted to Lexa.

_@empresslexa: Harley Darlin’!_

Clarke calmly set her phone to her side, turning over in bed so her face was in the pillow.

A muffled squeal of excitement woke up a very cranky, very in pain Octavia.

-

The next week in the Griffin/Blake household went a little something like this:

Octavia would be groaning, whining about how her head hurt and she needed pain medicine.

Bellamy would either be at her side, coddling her like a toddler with the flu, or in his bedroom with Echo.

Clarke would be pressing her pillow to her ears regardless of the situation.  She didn’t know what was more annoying—Octavia’s incessant moans of pain, or Echo’s incessant moans of passion.

It was driving Clarke mad.  When Octavia was finally asleep at night, content and drugged up on way too much ibuprofen to be healthy, Echo came over and the endless noise continued.

After the sixth consecutive night of this cycle, Clarke had had enough.  Marching out of her bed, little Christmas patterned pajamas on, she stalked her way to the room adjacent to hers, banging on the door loudly.  “Bellamy Blake, you two need to quiet down or else I will chop your dick off so you cannot _possibly_ have any more loud sex to keep me up at night!  Your sister is injured, for the love of god let her rest like she needs to!”

Clarke was taken aback when a shirtless Bellamy opened the door.  “If you wanted to join, you could just ask,” he smirked at her.

“I hate you.  Please try to keep the noise to a reasonable level so I can get some sleep.”

“Bye!”

Clarke flipped him off, returning to her room.  Shutting her door loud enough to let Bellamy feel her anger, she plopped back down onto her bed, face first.    

* * *

The cycle of agony came to an armistice with Octavia’s recuperation.  She finally stopped whining about her head pounding and feeling generally disgusting when Bellamy stopped doting on her at every waking moment.  She’d relented, grumbling, saying “No, it’s fine that my brother and sister don’t want to care for me.  That’s cool; I’ll just take care of myself.  Octavia, the girl with head stitches, having no one to bring her water and medicine whenever she needs it.”

It had no effect on either of the other two tenants of the apartment.

By some grace of God, Echo hadn’t come over in two nights—she’d been working on a project.

Clarke was finally able to sleep in peace.

The peace didn’t last long, of course; it never would when you lived with the Blake siblings.  After the two blissful, heavenly nights of peaceful sleep, Echo was back at it like a rabbit with Bellamy and Octavia decided on having a girl’s night with Clarke.

Clarke really tried her best to not get aggravated with Octavia.  She knew the girl had a lot on her mind—but _god_ , talking about Octavia’s problems for the last two hours was taking its toll on her.

Nonetheless, Clarke listened like a good best friend would.

“She hasn’t even texted me to see if I was alright, Clarke!  I mean, everyone says she has a crush on me, but it’s getting really fucking hard to believe that since she’s sleeping with other girls and not even bothering to check up on me.”

Clarke sighed.  “I know.  She does care about you, Octavia, but I’m pretty sure she thinks you hate her right now.”

Octavia grimaced.  “I don’t hate her.”

“You called the girl she was sleeping with a tart.  _Twice_.  And then you called Raven a hussy and said that she didn’t really care about you,” Clarke shrugged.

“I know, alright?  I’m a horrible person.”

“I think she’s going to wait this out until you talk to her, Octavia.”  Clarke said, patting Octavia’s knee.  “I’m sure she thinks right now you’re upset with her, so she’s giving you space like a good friend.  Here, why don’t we call her?”  Clarke suggested, giving a little smile.  “You two can make nice and talk things through and then we can all binge watch the Harry Potter movies tonight on my bed.  Deal?”

Octavia gave a small laugh, relenting.  “Fine.  I guess I _was_ being a dick to her.”

“Just a little bit.”  Clarke hummed, pulling out her phone.  She tapped Raven’s number, putting the phone on speaker.

After a four rings, Raven answered.  _“Clarke?”_

“Hey Raven, you’re on speaker.  How are you?”

_“Fine.  Who’s there?”_

“Octavia.”

_“Oh.”_

“Raven, come over, we miss you,” Octavia sighed, leaning closer to the phone.  “I miss you.”

_“Listen, about that, I can’t.  Not tonight at least.”_

“Oh,” Octavia frowned.  “Okay, well maybe tomorrow, then?”

 _“Octavia_ ,”

Octavia grabbed the phone from Clarke’s hands, holding it in her own.  “I’m sorry, Raven.  I was a huge bitch to you.  I had no idea you liked me like that, and, fuck, I got really jealous seeing Clarke take care of you and I realized I have feelings for you, and just, seeing you with that girl on Halloween—I got jealous, and I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have called her those names, or you.  I just—I miss you, Raven.”

The silence from the other end of the line was deafening.

“Raven?”

_“You have feelings for me?”_

“Yeah, I do.” Octavia sighed, gripping the phone tightly.  “I was stupid, Raven.  I didn’t realize it until I was jealous.  But that’s all I’ve been thinking about since then.  How stupidly I’d been falling for you and not even realizing it.  And I know we aren’t anything official, so I know I shouldn’t have been mad that you were with other girls, but—I was just jealous.  And I’m sorry it took jealousy to make me see that I cared about you.  But, please, Raven, can we—can we at least give it a shot?”

Clarke’s hand rested over Octavia’s leg, her eyes filled with worry.

_“Octavia…thank you.  Really, that means a lot.  I miss you too.”_

Octavia gave a sigh of relief, a smile forming on her lips.  “I’m so sorry, Raven; I’ve been the worst friend ever.”

 _“Octavia, I want to be friends with you still.  But,”_ Raven went quiet for a moment.  _“You’ve been gone for the past two weeks.  And I thought you didn’t care about me, that you were mad at me.  And Harper’s been here.  We’re—I guess, we’re together.  I’m dating Harper, Octavia.”_

Octavia’s heart plummeted into her stomach. 

Raven continued.  _“I care about you a lot, Octavia, and I always will.  But I spent the last two weeks feeling utterly worthless when it concerned you, and Harper’s made me happy.  I am happy, Octavia.  I really like her.”_

“Oh, good.  Yeah.”

_“I like you too, Octavia, it’s just—it’s like whiplash with you, alright?  You kiss my cheek and cuddle me in your bed and then you turn around and try to hook me up with someone else.  You don’t let me confess my feelings for you, and then you get upset when I try to move on from that rejection and date other people.  Octavia, I slept with Harper to forget about you.  It hurt a lot, okay?  And it really fucking sucks that we couldn’t have figured this all out sooner.”_

“Yeah, it does.”  Octavia said, dejectedly.  “Rae, I like you.  I really do, I’m willing to just be friends while we patch this up.  I can wait, I will—I really, really like you.”

_“Octavia…I do want to be friends.  I don’t want to screw this up, you know?  I—I really, really like you too.  But I like Harper a lot, Octavia.  She’s been there for me these past few weeks when you haven’t.  I can’t—I can’t make a decision right now.”_

“Okay.  Okay, Raven, that’s fine.  Take your time.”

_“Listen, at the end of the day I care about you a lot.”_

“Me too.”

_“And two weeks ago, Clarke made me pinky promise that I would try to patch things up with you.  And I didn’t.  This isn’t just one of our faults, Octavia.  We both screwed up big time.  But…I don’t know if I’m ready to make a decision.  I think, for now, we should just be friends.”_

 “Okay.”  Octavia whispered.  “Yeah, friends.”

_“Are we okay?”_

“I guess.  I—I miss you.  Come by sometime.”

_“Okay.  I’ll try.  I have to go, Harper—you know.”_

“Okay.  Bye.”

_“Bye, Octavia.”_

The line beeped, and the call ended.  Octavia looked up at Clarke with watery eyes.

“Oh, honey,” Clarke opened her arms for Octavia.  Octavia curled herself against Clarke, burying her face in the juncture of Clarke’s neck.  “Hey, hey.  You’re alright.  This will all blow over soon.”

“This must’ve been how she felt,” Octavia whimpered, gripping at Clarke’s sweater.

Clarke rubbed her hand across Octavia’s back.  “Raven isn’t mad, though.  You two are on amicable terms again.  You care about her, right?”

Octavia nodded.

“I know it sucks, but when you care about someone, you’d do anything to make them happy, right?”  She asked.

Octavia gave another nod.

“Well, if Raven’s going to be happiest with Harper and being just friends with you, you’d want that, right?”

This time Octavia didn’t nod. 

* * *

Lexa was exhausted.

The constant flying and driving was leaving her with hardly any time to sleep.  They’d penciled in about two days’ worth of time for each location, giving them time to rest and visit a bit, but _lord_ it was tiring.

They were on their seventh book tour location, in the middle of Des Moines, Iowa. 

_Only eighteen more to go._

Groggily, Lexa made her way to their little portable mini fridge, pulling out a red bull.  Anya raised an eyebrow.  “You hate those drinks,”

“We have a show in ten minutes and I look like an extra in _The Walking Dead_.”  Lexa grunted, popping the tab open.  She took a swig, shaking her head.  “I need coffee with this,” she crinkled her nose.

“Uh, no,” Anya laughed.  “You’re going to have a heart attack if you drink coffee and an energy drink together.”

“This isn’t working.”

“You barely took a sip, Lex!” Anya said.  “Chug that motherfucker, that’s when it’ll help.”

Lexa rolled her eyes but did as Anya suggested.  She utterly hated energy drinks, they were disgusting in flavor and poor health choices, but over the last three days, it was the only way she’d stayed alive.  After sufficiently finishing the drink, Lexa tossed it into the small hotel room’s trash bin, shaking out her arms.  “Alright, okay.”  She tilted her neck side to side, cracking it with ease.  “Let’s do this.”

Anya grinned, crossing her arms as she stood from her bed.  “Alright, there you go,”

Lexa hiccupped. “Okay, drank that way too fast.”

Anya pushed her out the door.  “Move, we needed to meet Gustus and Nyko, like, five minutes ago.”

Lexa grabbed the keycard off the little stand next to the door, tucking it in her pocket.  The two made their way to the nice hotel’s lobby, seeing a line flowing out of the event room where the tour would be held and into the lobby.  The two waved at the eager tour goers, walking into the event room. 

It was routine by now.  Meet with Gustus and Nyko, go to the table at the front, sign the books for and take pictures with the people waiting in line, and then answer any questions the audience had after they’d all crammed into the room together.  The signing flew by, Lexa and Anya both making quick, polite conversation and taking pictures with every other person or so.  The event had a good turn out; like the first tour, the one in New York, this one had sold out.

When the time had come to answer questions, the two answered the routine questions about the book, such as “how long did it take to write,” and “do you plan on writing a sequel?” 

Then, one girl asked, “Who’s Clarke?”

Anya smirked, picking up her water bottle and taking a sip.

Lexa nearly choked on her own spit.  “Um, Clarke is a friend, of sorts.”

“Of sorts?” Anya snorted.

“She’s an acquaintance, really.  A friend of a friend, if you will.”  Lexa answered, cheeks burning hotly.

Gustus and Nyko stood off to the side, snickering at the girl’s flustered appearance.

Another girl asked, “Really?  Because it seems like you admire Clarke in some way or another!  Neither of you have done specific fan call outs before,”

Lexa cleared her throat.  “We haven’t met in person.  I’m interacting with a friend’s friend, and a fan.  That’s all.”

“You should go for it!”  Someone from the back called.

Anya clucked her tongue.  “See?  Even strangers can see you’re gaga for Clarke.”

Lexa pouted.

“Alright,” Gustus interrupted.  “Enough questions about that.  Any other questions?”

* * *

Clarke choked on her Doritos when she saw an online tabloid headline pop up on her feed.

_“Who is Clarke?”_

She clicked on the article, seeing the description.

_“You’ve most likely heard the name: Alexandria Woods.  Gamer, vlogger, YouTuber, and author; activist for LGBT+ rights.   Her gaming channel has gained over three million followers in the past two months, putting her at a grand total of 3.9 M subscribers as we speak.  Her LGBT+ rights channel has amassed a similar response, with a total of 2.5 M subscribers.  After her public coming out on the Jimmy Kimmel show, Alexandria gained a large following of LGBT+ youth, and she works effortlessly with her sister, Anya Kalsang, to spread awareness of violence and aggressions against and within the LGBT+ community.  Alexandria is one of the most sought-after YouTubers of the year.  Women and men alike publicly voice their love for Alexandria and her content on a daily basis.  But is this young, beautiful, attainable woman no longer attainable?_

_Mystery girl by the username @princessgriffin inspires fellow fans of Alexandria Woods and Anya Kalsang, famous half-sister YouTubers, to learn more about the relationship between Alexandria and the mysterious blonde.  On Halloween, Clarke posted a picture posing as Harley Quinn, to which Alexandria responded; prior to this, Alexandria had called out a public hello on her Periscope to a ‘Clarke.’  The mystery woman made her profiles private after Alexandria’s tweets had started to gain popularity, so little is known about her besides her name.  At one of the sisters’ book tours in Des Moines, Iowa, fans took it upon themselves to ask Miss Woods what her relationship with Clarke was, to which Alexandria replied, ‘She’s an acquaintance, really.  A friend of a friend, if you will.’  Is Alexandria telling the truth?  Or is one of the most lusted-over LGBT+ YouTubers settling down?  Who exactly is Clarke?”_

“What the fuck?”  Clarke asked, forgetting the bag of chips on the dinner box as she made her way to Octavia’s room.  She barged in, ignoring the fact that Octavia was surrounded by a pile of textbooks.

“What?”  Octavia asked, looking up, confused.

Clarke thrust her phone at Octavia, who took it.  She scrolled through the tabloid article quickly, feeling fear drip through her veins.  What was she going to say to Clarke?  How was she going to explain that Lexa referred to the fact that she knew one of Clarke’s friends? 

Octavia gave a nervous chuckle.  “Weird.  Maybe she just made something up to stop people from spreading rumors.”

Clarke crossed her arms.  “I doubt that,”

“Clarke,” Octavia rolled her eyes.  “This is a _tabloid,_ should you really believe anything in this?  For all we know, Lexa didn’t even bring you up.  The journalists there probably just invented a story to get publicity.  That’s kind of how their job works, you know.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, before taking her phone back.  “It’s just weird, seeing your name pop up on a tabloid.”

Octavia shrugged.  “I wouldn’t know.”  Clarke rolled her eyes at that.  Octavia laughed.  “Clarke, chill.”

“You know, I’m sensing something fishy here.  You tweet Lexa about me, she responds to my tweet, and then she says she knows me because of one of my friends.  Are _you_ that friend?”

Octavia chewed on her lip, debating whether or not to tell Clarke.  Well, Clarke _did_ know about the tour tickets and the VIP passes, it’s not like Octavia was keeping that much a secret, so she figured there would be no harm in telling now.  “Fine, yeah, I am.”

Clarke gasped, eyes lighting up.  “No way!”

Octavia smiled.  With a shy nod, she said, “Yes, way,”

“What?  How?  You’ve talked to Lexa, haven’t you?  What’s she like?”  Clarke bounced onto Octavia’s bed happily, shoving aside the multiple textbooks, making room for herself.

Octavia took a breath, before saying, “Well, we wanted it to be a secret.  We wanted it to be, like, you going in there with no idea that we knew Lexa and Anya.  So you could have the fangirl experience, the whole enchilada,”

Clarke laughed, grabbing Octavia’s hands.  “How do you know them?”

“Raven’s roommate, Echo,” Octavia said, “is Anya’s sister.”

Clarke’s mouth dropped open wide.  “Oh my god,” she mumbled, astonished.  “That’s so cool.  Oh!  So did you really win that Twitter contest?”

Octavia’s cheeks went pink.  “No, Echo just gave us the passes.  I’m sorry if you’re upset that I lied.  I just wanted to make you happy, and we didn’t want you to think that we were like…forcing you to hop back on the love train or talk about what happened with Finn to someone.  But, I just—I know how much you look up to Lexa, and how good it would be for you to spend time with someone in the same—”

Octavia was silenced by Clarke throwing her arms around Octavia’s petite frame.  Octavia laughed, hugging Clarke back after a brief pause of confusion as to what had happened.  “I’m not mad!  Octavia, you are like—the sweetest person in the whole wide world, you know that?”  She pulled away from Octavia, with a huge smile from cheek to cheek.  “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Octavia said, smiling in return.

* * *

“Lexa, stop freaking out!”

“Anya, they posted an _article_ about this poor girl, people are going to try to track her down or something!  I told you people on the internet were crazy,” Lexa groaned, falling face first into the hotel twin bed.

Anya patted Lexa’s back.  “They didn’t get her last name, just her first.”

Lexa lifted her face up from the hard mattress.  “Her username has her last name in it.  People are going to harass her.  I really, really don’t want to deal with a lawsuit,” she groaned. 

“Call her, apologize, then see what she wants you to do.  Her profiles are back to private ones, now, right?”

Lexa nodded.

Anya pulled out her cell phone.

 _Emergency FaceTime in 1 hour._  
Get Clarke  & Octavia.  
Lexa wants to talk to Clarke.

Echo responded in moments.

 _Mini Me:_  
Ok  
What happened?

 _Sissy <3:_  
Long story, tabloids are wondering  
who Clarke is.  Lexa’s freaking out  
bc she thinks Clarke is going to get  
mad and sue her or some shit.  Best  
we just talk to her.

_Mini Me:  
Can do!  I’ll call Octavia._

“All taken care of,” Anya smiled, setting her phone down on the small nightstand between Lexa’s bed and her own.  “Now, get pretty.  We’re video chatting with your girlfriend in an hour.”

Lexa’s head snapped up from the mattress.  “No,” she said, scooting her body up into a sitting position.  “No, no, she’s not my girlfriend.  I don’t even know her.”

“Well, then, you’ll get to know her, FaceTiming her.” Anya shrugged.  “What’s the difference?  You two totally have the hots for each other.  Should we go with slutty or classy?  Or maybe a nice mix?  Leslie Knope it up, you know, ‘ _sophisticated with a hint of slutty_ ’ style?”

Lexa crossed her arms.  “I look fine,”

Anya rolled her eyes.  “Fun sucker.”  She grabbed for the remote, turning on the small TV, settling back on her own bed.

It only dawned onto Lexa twenty minutes into a PBS documentary on sandwiches that she was going to talk to Clarke; like, _actually_ converse with Clarke, who she’d been lowkey crushing on for the past two months.  Clarke, who was probably pissed at her for having her name publicly out there without her consent.  Clarke, who was beautiful, and who would most likely cause Lexa to forget her own name.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to upload! School's been a bitch.
> 
> Come talk to me or pester me to write at jinglehalseys.tumblr.com!


	7. The One With the Thanksgiving Prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving with the Griffin/Blake family.
> 
> Clarke needs to defeat the turkey; Jake is a cool dad; Abby just wants one holiday without her husband's antics; Echo is a little shit stirrer; Bellamy encourages Echo's delinquent behavior; Lexa meets the family in an unusual way; Clarke's aunts are homophobic and no one will stand for it; Octavia just wants some goddamn pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um. Yeah. Thanksgiving shenanigans are about to ensue.
> 
> TW for some homophobia & biphobia.

Echo had become a common resident in the Griffin/Blake household.

(So much so, that Clarke wanted the girl pay a fourth of the rent, really.)

So, it really was not much of a surprise when Echo walked through the front door on her own, courtesy of Bellamy’s spare key.  “I’m here,” she called down the hall, not sure who all was home, except for the fact that she knew Bellamy was still at work.

With her laptop in her arms, she walked down the hallway, pausing at Octavia’s room.  Raising her hand and curling it into a small fist, she knocked on the closed door several times, before letting her hand fall back to her side.

“Come in!” Octavia called.

Echo opened the door, seeing Clarke sprawled out across Octavia’s legs, sound asleep.  Echo laughed, seeing Octavia’s laptop carefully balanced on Clarke’s stomach, steadily rising and falling with the blonde’s sleeping breathing pattern, not hindering Octavia’s typing away at all.  “Cute,” she nodded towards Clarke.

Octavia glanced up at Echo, a smile on her lips.  “She fell asleep, but that doesn’t mean my lit essay isn’t due in…” she grimaced, looking at the time on her screen, “two hours.”

“Yeah, that paper was a bitch to write,” Echo agreed, settling herself in Octavia’s desk chair.  “Professor Jones loves working us to death.”

“Very true,” Octavia mumbled, fingers tapping against the keys once more.  “Bell isn’t here, he’s out at work.”

Echo nodded.  “I know,” she said, setting her laptop down on Octavia’s bed.  “I can’t believe he works at the campus Starbucks, he does not seem like the barista type,” Echo smirked.

Octavia nodded, teeth biting at her bottom lip before responding, “He hates it, but he’s determined to make his own money.  If you’re not looking to screw Bell, what are you looking for?”

“Clarke,” Echo said.

Octavia blinked, looking up from her paper.  “Well, I’m sure Clarke would be flattered, but she usually likes to be wined and dined before doing the dirty.”

Echo rolled her eyes.  “Still straight, ‘Tavia.”

“A girl can hope.”

“Anyway, Lexa wants to FaceTime her.”

Octavia’s jaw dropped.  “No way!  What, does she like, want to confess that she has the hots for Clarke?  Because, as her best friend, I have to say, admitting feelings over technology is _not_ the way Clarke likes things to be done.”

“Uh,” Echo shifted in place awkwardly.  “It’s actually about a nonexistent lawsuit Lexa wants to avoid.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, since some tabloid used Clarke’s name, Lexa’s freaking out,” Echo explained, wringing her hands together.  With a nervous chuckle, she added, “And Lexa wants to make sure Clarke isn’t upset about it, because the last thing they can deal with right now is a lawsuit from your friend.”

Octavia waved her hand in the air.  “Clarke is chill.  I’m sure she’ll be okay with it,” she shut her laptop, pulling it off of Clarke, before shaking the blonde.  “Hey, Clarke?  C-Bear?  Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up, your girlfriend wants to talk to you?”

Groggily, Clarke asked, “Jennifer Lawrence wants to talk to me?”

Octavia busted out laughing.  “No, Clarke, your other girlfriend.”

Clarke sat up, stretching her arms overhead as she yawned.  She scooted her way off of Octavia’s body, settling next to her on the bed, head falling back against the headboard with a thunk.  “JLaw is my one true love.”

Echo snorted.  “Don’t say that to Lexa.”

Clarke looked to the side, not too surprised by the third party in the room.  “Oh.  Hi, Echo.  What about Lexa?”

Echo grinned.  “She wants to FaceTime you.”

In an instant, Clarke was alert, up straight.  “You mean, like, actually talking to her?  In person?  Like, hearing her voice say my name and seeing her face look at my face?”

 “That’s…sort of the point of FaceTime,” Echo said, shaking her head at Clarke.

Clarke hit Octavia’s arm, swatting at it a good couple of times, face red.  “You never told me I’d have to do this!”

“Ouch!”  Octavia grumbled, swatting back at Clarke’s arms, attempting to stop her.  “I didn’t know!  Lexa wants to talk to you, that’s all I know and Echo only just told me!”

Clarke huffed, rubbing at her eyes.  “When does she want to talk?”

Echo glanced at her watch.  “Five minutes ago.”

Clarke’s eyes went wide.  “What?  I look like shit!  I can’t—she’ll think I’m like, a lazy slob who always has Doritos dust on her!”

“But,” Octavia said, feigning confusion, “you _are_ a lazy slob who always has Doritos dust on yourself?”

“One day, I’ll murder you.”

Clarke bolted out of the room and down to the bathroom.  In a couple minutes, sufficiently free from raccoon eyes due to sleeping in mascara, and with knotted, messy bed head pulled back into a ponytail, Clarke returned.  “How do I look?  Is my face okay?  Oh my god, I’ve been wearing this shirt for the past two days, does it look like it?”

Echo slid out of the laptop’s camera view.

Clarke came face to face with Lexa.

Damn Echo, she’d pulled the FaceTime up in the small amount of time Clarke was out of the room.

“Oh.  Hi,” she waved sheepishly, once she processed seeing the brunette.

“Hi,” Lexa responded, just as cautiously.

Echo stood up, cracking her knuckles.  “All right, Octavia has a paper to finish that I need to help her with.  Have fun, kids,” Echo said, grabbing Octavia by the wrist and pulling her out of her own room.  With the sound of the door shutting behind her, Clarke walked to Octavia’s desk, settling in the chair.

“Hi,” she said again, not quite knowing what else to say.

Lexa gave a little smile.  “Hi,”

_“Oh my god, Lexa, you useless lesbian, just get to the point!”_

Clarke’s wifi was spotty in the apartment, making the pixilation on computers used in the rooms pretty shitty, but she was pretty sure she could make out the faintest hint of a blush on Lexa’s cheeks.

Lexa cleared her throat.  “Right.  Sorry, that was Anya.  Although, I’m assuming you know of her.  Or recognize her voice.”

Clarke nodded.  “Yeah, I do.  Both.  I mean, I know her and her voice.  That’s coming out kind of creepy isn’t it?”  She asked, wincing at her own awkwardness.

 _“Jesus Christ, it’s like chaperoning a sixth grade dance in here_.”  The background voice suddenly got closer, until Anya was in the picture next to Lexa.  “Clarke, we are very sorry that article published your name and twitter username, and we didn’t intend for any personal information to be released.  Let’s make this simple, okay?  If you’re going to sue, please let me know now so I can contact our lawyer.  We don’t want to cause you any stress or strife on social media or in your day to day life.”

“Very formal,” Clarke laughed.  “Is that why you wanted to call?”

Lexa nodded, eyes focused on the image of Clarke.  “I’m sorry, I hope you aren’t upset or feel exposed.”

Clarke shrugged.  “I mean, I made it private again.  I really only made it public in the first place so _you_ could see the costume—” instantaneously, Clarke inwardly groaned at her self-inflicted embarrassment.  She coughed.  “ _Anyway_ , I won’t sue.  My stuff’s all private again, and I read the tabloid.  All they got is my name, that’s okay.”

Lexa let out a sigh of relief.  “Thank you.”

Anya patted Lexa’s shoulder.  “All right, there you go, it’s all worked out.  See Lexa?  Don’t start worrying about a situation before it’s handled.  Now, I’m going to the mini bar and then to the hot tub, so I’ll give you guys plenty of time to have cybersex, or do whatever the kids are doing over FaceTime these days.”

Lexa smacked at her sister, and Anya raced out of the hotel room, out of the camera shot, a trail of laughter left behind her.

“I,” Lexa’s face turned beet red, which Clarke could clearly make out this time. “Am _so_ sorry.  She’s so embarrassing.  This is awkward.  I apologize.”

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward,” Clarke offered up, giving a small shrug.

There was a tense silence in the air. 

Clarke was ready to bring a knife out just to cut it.

Then, Lexa started giggling.  Giggling, that turned into full-blown laughing, until she was bent over at the middle, head against the hotel desk.

She had an infectious laugh.  Clarke couldn’t help the grin that spread over her own face, feeling her shoulders shake.

“God, this is just like, so unnecessarily built up,” Lexa finally said between small laughs, once she managed to calm down.  “I mean, Anya’s been making it seem like _such_ an ordeal talking to you.  _I’ve_ been making it seem as such.”

Clarke nodded, eyebrows scrunching together as she smiled.  “I have, too.”

Lexa sat up straight, smile soft on her lips.  “Should we just—put the cards on the table then?  You know, get all the weirdness out?”

“I guess so,” Clarke shrugged a little.  “I’ll go first, I guess.”  She took a breath.  “You’re really beautiful and I’m _so_ not straight and I feel really weird saying that I am attracted to you because we hardly even know each other, and, like, you’re this famous person, and I’m just _Clarke_ , and I’m super afraid you think I’m a stalker and I really am not.  Like, you’re such an amazing person, and your videos are so cute and inspiring, and my biggest fear right now is that you’re going to think I’m just so obsessed fan and totally hate me.”

Lexa grinned, cheeks hurting from smiling so much.  “Okay.  I totally was scared of you being some psycho stalker but you’re really adorable and I have to admit, I’ve thought you were beautiful since I saw Octavia post about you all those months ago.”

“Cards out,” Clarke said, self-consciously.

“Cards out,” Lexa repeated.

“So, um, you don’t think I’m going to kill you and sell your clothes on EBay, right?”  Clarke asked, twiddling her thumbs.  “Because, I mean, like I said, you’re awesome, and the chance to be friends with, well, someone who’s gone through something like I have is amazing.  You’re amazing.  I really admire you, I guess I’m trying to say, and I don’t want you to just…peg me as some crazed fangirl.”

Lexa shook her head.  “I’ve had countless reassurances that you are mostly normal.”

“Mostly?”  Clarke cocked an eyebrow.

Lexa shrugged, a little cockily.  “What happens in Echo’s dorm stays in Echo’s dorm.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, smile on her face.  “Fair enough.”

“If it makes you feel any better, just ask Echo about the conversation we had about Britney Spears.  I was…a complete fangirl for Britney.  You’re much tamer than thirteen year old Lexa was.”  Lexa rubbed at the back of her neck.

“To be fair, Britney’s still got it.  Good choice,”

Lexa nodded.  There was a momentary paused, before she said, “So, I’m rather acquainted with your friends, Octavia and Raven.”

“I’m sorry about that, they’re rather…spirited.”  Clarke settled on saying.

“They’re lovely people.  I’m glad Echo is friends with them.  It’s funny, how life works out sometimes.  The fact that our friend circles are overlapping,” she trailed off, not knowing how to end her train of thought.  Clarke nodded, though, agreeing nonetheless.

“So, are we friends?”

Lexa smiled.  “I would love to be friends.”

* * *

Echo and Octavia managed to finish Octavia’s paper in the Echo’s dorm room and get it turned in at 11:59.

Octavia grinned.  She held her hand up for a high five from Echo.  With a smile, Echo humored the girl.  “You did it!  With a whole minute left to spare,”

Octavia let out a deep breath of relief.  “That was a close one, Echo.”  She smiled.  “Thank you for your help.”

Echo shrugged.  “No prob, Octavia.  I just expect you to return the favor sometime if I’m running late on assignments,” she grinned. 

Octavia held her arms out, giving Echo a hug.

“D’ya think Clarke and Lexa are still talking?”  Octavia asked, keeping one arm wrapped around Echo as she leaned her head on Echo’s shoulder.

“Most likely,” Echo snorted.  “Those two are too into each other to not be the kind of people who talk for hours.”  She let her arm fall around Octavia’s shoulder.

The sound of the door opening disrupted the two girls.  Raven stood at the doorway, mascara tracks down her cheeks.  She glanced between the Echo and Octavia, entangled in each other, before her eyes dropped to the ground.  “Sorry, I’ll find somewhere else.”

Octavia scoffed.  “This is your room, I’ll go,” she said, pulling out of Echo’s hold.  She placed a kiss on Echo’s cheek, to which Echo laughed.

“You and Clarke do that way too much,” she joked, patting Octavia’s arm as she got up.

“Are you okay?”  Octavia asked Raven.

Raven shook her head.

“Do you want me to stay?”  Octavia asked, voice so light Raven almost didn’t hear it.

Hesitantly, Raven nodded.

Echo stood.  “Bell should be back by now,” she said, excusing herself.  “I’m going back to the apartment for tonight.”  She looked at Raven, then Octavia, and shook her head.  Girls.

In a minute, she was gone, leaving Raven and Octavia alone. 

“Harper and I broke up.”  Raven all but yelled once the door shut behind Echo.

Octavia frowned.  “Why?  She seemed crazy into you,”

“Yeah, well she didn’t believe that I was crazy into her,” Raven hiccupped.

“What do you mean?”

Raven chewed at her lip.  Her forehead was creased.  She stared at Octavia before finally saying, “Harper thinks I’m still caught up in you.”

Octavia cleared her throat a little awkwardly.  “Well, I can see how that would be a problem.  But are you?”

Raven’s shoulders lifted, then fell.  “I don’t know.”

“I’m not going to date you, Raven.”  Octavia stated, crossing her arms.  “I just won’t.  I mean, we’ve been through too much emotional shit lately, okay?  I just—I can’t.”

Raven nodded.  “I know.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have chosen her over you—you were my friend first.”

Octavia gave Raven a small smile.  “I’m still your friend.”

“Even though I still…I like you?”  Raven asked, cheeks wet.  “I mean, I know we _said_ we were okay, but you didn’t _seem_ okay with it.”

“I wasn’t,” Octavia said, truthfully.  “If I’m being honest, it kind of sucked.  A lot.  Because here you were, liking me, and then I realized I liked you, but only, like, after I screwed everything up, and then you go liking Harper and liking me, and I was just kind of floating around, and you chose _her_ and—well, we’ve both screwed things up a lot.”

“We have,” Raven agreed, exhaling shakily.

“I mean, I still…have feelings for you,” Octavia admitted.  Seeing Raven’s eyes widen, she quickly added, “But…you were right to say we should just be friends.  We’ve both hurt each other and been hurt too much in the last two months, you know?  If we…we’ve said and done some hurtful things, and I don’t think…we’re in a place for a relationship.”

Raven nodded slowly.  “I see.”

“I do want to be friends, Raven.  Everything was simple then.  When we were just friends.”

At that, Raven laughed.  “I guess it was simpler.”

“So, friends?”

Raven smiled, wiping at her cheeks.  “Yeah,”

* * *

The end of November meant a small reprieve from schooling before being launched into the disaster that was finals.  It was one of Clarke’s favorite times of the year; she’d get to leave campus for a week, snuggle up at home, eat her mom and Aunt Aurora’s delicious Thanksgiving meal, and slip into a nice, peaceful food coma for the remainder of break.

At least, she got to until this year.

“What do you mean?”  Clarke all but wailed,  talking to her mother on the phone.

_“Honey, Aurora and I have handled this every year since Octavia was born.  It’s your turn, now.  You and Octavia can handle cooking the dinner.”_

“We live on ramen and discounted beer, Mom, neither of us knows how to even cook an egg!”

 _“Clarke Elizabeth Griffin,”_ it was the tone.  The reprimanding tone that drove Clarke up the wall with guilt and annoyance.  “ _You are two very intelligent young ladies, you can handle cooking a dinner.  Your father and I have decided to drive down to Florida and bring your Grandma Eloise and Grandpa Frederick up.  Neither of them have good enough vision to drive, and Lord knows Eloise is afraid of flying.”_

“Well, why can’t Aunt Aurora help us make the dinner, then?”  Clarke asked.  “O and I will be like headless chickens in the kitchen.  Do you want us to accidentally undercook the turkey and overcook the noodles?  Because we definitely will.  Or we’ll just buy everything already premade and prepackaged.  And that wouldn’t be fun for anyone.”

_“Aurora is going to Pennsylvania to pick up her parents, dear.”_

“What?  But they always fly in?”

_“Not this year, honey.  Wilfred is having some breathing difficulties, his doctor doesn’t want him in high altitudes.”_

Clarke pouted.  “Mom!”

_“Oh, hush now, young lady.  I know you can cook, don’t lie to me.  I’ve heard glowing reports about your pastas and breakfast meals.  I’ll buy all the things right now and keep them in the fridge so you don’t have to do the shopping, all right?”_

Clarke let out a long sigh, knowing this battle was lost.  “Fine.  We’ll help.”

_“Oh!  Thank you, dear.  Will you be bringing anyone this year?”_

Clarke grunted.  “Unfortunately, I’m single.  I have been since Finn.”

_“You’re in your prime, Clarke, there are plenty of nice boys out there for you.”_

“I know.  And plenty of girls.”

Her mother hummed.  _“I suppose so, dear.  So, nobody at all, then?”_

For a brief instant, Clarke considered asking Echo if Anya and Lexa would want to come, but threw that idea out the window in a hot second.  That would be weird, asking your newfound friend to be your dinner date at your family Thanksgiving and!  Oh, yeah, of course your sister can come, too.  Nope.  Too awkward.

“No, not for me.  But Bellamy will be bringing Echo, his—” she paused, not quite knowing if they had a label.  “His girlfriend, I think.  She’s sweet, you’ll like her.”

_“And Octavia?”_

Clarke glanced at the girl sitting next to her on the couch, hearing the conversation on the speaker phone.  Octavia paid no attention to Abby asking about her as she typed away on her laptop; at least, she didn’t show it.  “I doubt it, Mom.  She kind of went through a little breakup?”  Octavia shrugged.

_“What?  Oh, that’s awful!  Give her my best.  Well, I better get going to the grocery store to get all the food.  You and the others will be here tomorrow morning, right?”_

“Yes, Mom,” Clarke mumbled.  “We’ll be there tomorrow morning and we’ll cook all day long and cook all day long tomorrow, too, and then we’ll eat the meal Octavia and I make that will probably poison everyone.”

Abby laughed.  _“Oh, be quiet, Clarke.  Jake and I are leaving in an hour and driving through the evening, we should get there around one in the morning.  We’ll leave around six tomorrow morning, so expect us back at about eight tomorrow evening.”_

“What?  That gives you guys hardly any time to rest,” Clarke said.

_“We’ll be fine, honey, we’ve made the trip dozens of times.  We’ll take shifts to rest.  Okay, I’ve got to hit the store quickly so we can head out!  I love you,”_

“Love you too, Mom.”

From the other side of the couch, Octavia rolled her eyes.  “We’re on dinner duty this year, huh?”

“Sadly.”  Clarke responded, tucking her phone in her sweatshirt pocket.  She hummed, staring at her friend for a long moment. 

“What?”  Octavia asked, looking up at her.

“I just…why don’t we ask Raven and Harper to come?”  Clarke asked, smiling an uncomfortable smile.  “I know you two aren’t on the best of terms, but, if you’re serious about being friends and taking her feelings into consideration, then I think this would be good.  Friends can have Thanksgiving dinner together,”

Octavia sighed.  “Raven and Harper broke up.”

“What?”

Octavia shrugged again, shaking her head.  “Raven talked to me last night, kind of upset.  She needed a friend to talk to.”

“So did you talk to her?”  Clarke questioned.

Octavia glared at Clarke.  “Of course I did,” she scoffed.  “But I made it clear we weren’t going to be a thing.”

Now Clarke was really confused.  “But I thought you wanted to date her?”

Octavia tucked her leg under her body, shifting to face Clarke.  “She said being with me was like getting _whiplash_ , Clarke.  And I kind of understand, because that’s what she feels like.  So, we’re just friends.  That’s all we’ll ever be.”

Clarke frowned.  “Is that what you want?”

Octavia nodded, but made a face that said otherwise.  After a moment, she shook her head.  “I don’t really know.  But we aren’t in a state to be together as more than friends after hurting each other for so long.”

“That’s…really mature of you, Octavia,” Clarke smiled.  She patted Octavia’s knee.  “Whatever you choose, I support you, okay?”

Octavia smiled back, looking down at her lap.  “Thanks.  I don’t know, maybe Bell was right…getting back out there and dating might be good for me.”

Clarke grinned at that, plucking Octavia’s laptop off of the coffee table.  “I can arrange that.”

Octavia laughed, scooting closer.  “What are you doing?”

“You said you made a dating profile, right?  Use it,” Clarke said.  “Which site did you use?”

Octavia ducked her head in embarrassment as she gave Clarke the name. 

Clarke went to Octavia’s profile.  “Oh!  Look at that, O, you have four messages.”  She clicked on the little message button, reading them.  “This girl is cute…” she mumbled, before going, “Oh my god, she posted a picture of her eating a tub of mayonnaise.  Next.”  She clicked on the next candidate.  “Oh, he’s handsome!  …Wait, did he post a picture of him smoking weed?”  Clarke made a face.  “Next.”

Octavia interjected, “Don’t I get any say?”

“No, I won’t let some sleazebag message you just to hook up.  Or try to get drugs off of you.  Or…peer pressure you into eating mayonnaise by the handful,” Clarke stuck her tongue out in disgust.  “Okay, this next guy looks pretty sweet….and criminal….he’s shooting a gun…is that the Confederate flag?”

“Next,” Octavia and Clarke said at the same time.

“She’s cute!”  Octavia said, pointing at the last candidate.  Clarke went to her profile.  Red head, freckles, adorable brown eyes, she was pretty cute.  That was, until they got to the seventh picture in her album. 

“She…has a pet centipede?”  Clarke asked, bewildered as she saw the photo’s caption.  She clicked on the next picture, seeing her petting a rather large tarantla.

Octavia gagged.

“What kind of website is this, Octavia?  Freakazoids R Us?”   Without a second thought, Clarke found her way to the settings and deleted Octavia’s profile.

“Hey!”  Octavia shouted, crossing her arms.  “How’d you even know my password?”  She pouted.

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “Your password is the same for everything, O.”

“Yeah?  And what’s that?”

Clarke looked pointedly at Octavia.  “O, ‘password’ is not a good password.”

Octavia pouted.

“I’m making you a good profile.  On a _good_ site.”  Clarke said, pointing at Octavia.  “Go take a bath or something.  Let me work my magic,” she said, waggling her fingers.

Octavia rolled her eyes, but got up from the couch.  “Fine.”

Hastily, Clarke made an account for Octavia.

 _Sexual Preference_?  Male and Female.  
_Age?_  18  
_Location?_ Washington, DC  
_Student?_ Ark University

She was having too much fun with it.

* * *

The next morning, as promised, Octavia, Bellamy, and Echo made it to Abby’s house.  It was a rather short drive from campus, seeing as Abby, Jake, and Aurora lived in the outskirts of Virginia.

They settled in, unpacking for the week they would spend there and relaxing before launching themselves into work.

Around nine, they started.  Bellamy and Echo started preparing the things that could be refrigerated overnight and didn’t need an oven, like the heavenly hash and the fruit salads, while Clarke and Octavia got to work on making all the desserts.

No one had really any idea what to do.

Ten hours, thirteen Pinterest posts on how to make various Thanksgiving foods, four fights between Octavia and Clarke, and one cookbook later, most of the food was done and waiting in the fridge for the following day.

All that was left was the turkey.

Clarke glared at it as it sat in the freezer.  “I will defeat you,” she muttered, eyes squinting.

Octavia had passed out on the living room an hour previous, clutching an opened bag of marshmallows used for the heavenly hash to her head as a pillow.

Clarke gave once last glance at the bird, making the “I’m watching you” gesture with her forefinger and middle finger.

“What are you doing?”  Bellamy asked, arms crossed.

The sudden voice made Clarke jump.  She shut the freezer door, facing the boy.  “It’s mocking me.”

“It’s a bird, Clarke.  And it’s dead.”

“That’s _why_ it’s mocking me.  It’s saying, _‘You’ll never cook me, Clarke!  You’re going to give your poor Grandma Eloise food poisoning and she’ll probably die because she’s ninety and decrepit and the slightest sickness could send her spiraling to her demise!’”_

Bellamy wrapped his arms around Clarke.  “You aren’t going to give Grandma Eloise food poisoning.  Or anyone.  I saw you intensely studying those Pinterest recipes,” Bellamy teased.

Clarke rested her head on his chest, closing her eyes.  “You’re not funny,” she mumbled.

“Yes I am.  You know it.  Now, why don’t you go to bed and take a nap, you don’t have to thaw the turkey until early tomorrow morning, and then I’ll help you cook it.  Your parents should be getting home in the next couple hours, so you’ll have plenty of time to nap before they—”

A tiny snore cut him off.

Bellamy moved his head back, looking down at the girl pressed against his chest.  “Did you fall asleep standing up?”

Clarke only snored in response.

Bellamy sighed.  Picking Clarke up and wrapping his arms around her body and under her knees, he carried her up to her bedroom on the third level, the Griffins’ level of the house.  He made his way down the hall to the last door, Clarke’s room, and set her gently on her old bed.  Shaking out his arms from the long journey from the first floor to the third of carrying Clarke’s dead weight, Bellamy shook his head.  “Night, princess.”  He muttered with a smile, before joining Echo on the second floor in his old room.

As promised, Abby and Jake arrived back at their home in the evening, about an hour after most of the Thanksgiving food had been cooked. 

All four teenagers were fast asleep, exhausted from the day’s work of cooking for thirty some people.  Abby threw a blanket over Octavia, seeing her passed out on the couch, before making her way into the kitchen to see what work the kids had gotten done.  “Impressive,” she mumbled.  “All that’s left is the turkey.  I can handle that,” Abby said, before shutting the fridge door.

Eloise and Frederick, Jake’s parents, were yawning.  “We’ll make like Octavia and go to bed,” Eloise said sweetly.

Jake nodded, taking his parents’ luggage down the hall on the first floor to one of the guest rooms.  Eloise and Frederick followed, knowing well by now where they usually stayed.  “Why, thank you, Jake,” Frederick said to his son, clapping him on the shoulder.  “We’ll see you in the morning.  Thanks for the drive.”

Eloise rolled her eyes.  “I could have made that drive very well on my own, Frederick.”

“You’re legally blind, woman!”

“Go to sleep,” Jake shook his head at his parents.  “Goodnight!”

Jake made his way out of his parents’ room and up to Clarke’s old childhood bedroom, finding Clarke sprawled haphazardly across her bed.  He chuckled; she still had the same snore she always had as a child.  Slowly, he walked to Clarke’s bed, and sat next to her still form.  He pushed the hair out of his daughter’s face, before shaking her awake slightly.

“Hmm?” Clarke hummed, rubbing at her eyes.  Upon seeing her dad, she smiled.  “Dad!” she said, launching herself into his open arms.

Jake held his daughter tight.  “How’s my girl?”

“Tired,” Clarke exhaled, pulling back from her dad.  “Bell, O, Bell’s girlfriend, Echo, and I all knocked out every possible side dish and dessert imaginable.  Thank god for the internet,” Clarke laughed.

“I’m sure it will be fantastic,” he said.  “Your mother saw all the food and desserts, she’s impressed.  She’d going to handle the turkey tomorrow.”

“No!” Clarke said, suddenly, catching her father off guard.  “That damn bird has been taunting me all day, Dad, I’m going to defeat it,”

“I don’t think your mother would have an objection to help,” Jake said.  “I just wanted to let you know that we’re home safe.  Aurora will be back tomorrow around nine tomorrow morning.”

 “Thanks for letting me know.”

Jake ruffled Clarke’s hair.  “Go back to sleep, kiddo.  I’ll see you in the morning.  Chocolate chip pancakes sound good?”

Clarke grinned.  “My favorite!”

* * *

One of the things Clarke loved the most was family.  In particular, _her_ family.  She loved her parents, her “Auntie ‘Rora,” and the collective six grandparents she, Bellamy, and Octavia had compiled by ceremonially joining as a family.  She also loved their cousins, all ranging in age from a few years older than Bellamy, to little baby infants.

She did not particularly like her aunts and uncles.

Her grandparents were all old and sweet.  Her mom’s parents, while more conservative in view and more proper, were still loving and tried to understand “youth culture”, although they did get “the look” when more liberal topics came up.  It was a good enough effort for Clarke.  Her dad’s parents were the wild ones; the cool grandparents that made all the other kids in Clarke’s elementary school jealous by showing up to pick Clarke up in a Corvette, who snuck sweets into Clarke’s lunch, who told Clarke to just have fun and not worry from a young age.  And Bellamy and Octavia’s grandparents, while not hers biologically, were still part of the family.  They were rather laid back and quiet, and they were the kind of people Clarke could talk to for hours on end about politics, religion, and whatever else may be cringe-worthy with the older generations, and not want to bang her head into a wall once.

Clarke had an _interesting_ relationship with her mother, to say the least.  Abby took after her parents, being more tight-lipped and conservative, but her years spent with her husband shaped her into an accepting person.  Clarke and her mother butted heads often, but they had a better than average relationship.  While Abby rarely saw eye to eye on any topic with Clarke, she did put effort in to at least try, which made the difference.

Aurora Blake was another mother to Clarke.  While Aurora could be just as strict as a biological mother to Clarke when she caught Clarke doing something wrong, Aurora could also be the sweet, compassionate person Clarke could turn to. 

And Jake.  Clarke loved Jake the most.  She knew she shouldn’t have a favorite parent, especially since she really did have three, but Jake was always the one who was there for her.  Jake was the first person in the whole world who knew Clarke liked girls; not Octavia, her sister, not Bellamy, her big brother who always had a shoulder to lean on, not even her own mother, who consistently told Clarke to come to her if she ever had any “boy troubles.”  Jake was the one who coached her softball team in grade school, who smuggled Clarke some alcohol at family parties and tailgates without Abby noticing, who sat and shamelessly kept up with the Kardashians with Clarke.  Clarke loved her father.

And her cousins; they were cute.  They were people who always kept in touch with Clarke; they were very tight knit.  There was a reason the elders called them “The Griffin Gang” when they were together.

But the aunts and uncles were unbearable.  They were the bitter ones in their mid-life crises, the divorcees, the soccer moms of five, the weird uncles who creeped everyone out.  The _conservatives_.

It was like the liberal genes hit Jake and Aurora and skipped the rest of the generation.

Needless to say, it made for interesting family holidays every year.

Clarke was out to her whole family.  Of course, Jake and Aurora accepted her right away.  Abby took some time to warm up to the idea, but grew to accept it, though not personally understanding how Clarke could feel the way she did about both girls and boys.  It was more of a lack of understanding than a lack of love, something which Abby made very clear.  Octavia and Bellamy were fine with it; her cousins, the older ones at least, were okay with it, while the younger ones were just simply too young to understand why there was a stigma at all on same-sex couples.  Abby’s parents weren’t ecstatic with the idea, but seeing how their daughter accepted it, they did, as well.  Jake’s parents didn’t care one way or another; and Aurora’s, too, something which surprised Clarke, really.  She’d assumed it would be the grandparents who had grown up in very anti-gay and anti-bisexual cultures to be the ones to reject her first, but she was wrong.

It was those damn aunts and uncles of Clarke’s.

Clarke was out to her family at seventeen, when she got her first girlfriend, a cute senior named Maya, who had come to the Griffin’s annual New Year Party and met everyone.  The grandparents were a little off put, as they had no prior inkling that Clarke was anything but straight, but grew to accept Maya fairly easily.  The aunts and uncles though, they made a fuss, saying that their kids shouldn’t have to see two girls kissing and holding hands.

Ever since then, Jake loved to make a point to make everyone uncomfortable.  He’d get this twinkle in his eye, ready to stir up some drama and make his siblings and siblings-in-law squirm in their seats. It was really amusing to Clarke, in all actuality.  Her dad would, every year, without fail, bring up Clarke’s sexuality; whether it be asking if she had a girlfriend or making a point to ask Clarke’s then-girlfriend several questions at the dinner table. 

Her dad had that same look in his eyes right now.

“I cannot wait until everyone gets here,” he said, crossing his arms as he watched his wife and daughter work on the turkey side by side.

Abby glanced at the clock above the oven.  “Well, they should be here any minute,” she said.  She turned to look at her husband.  “Why are you so giddy to see everyone?”

Jake shrugged, grinning.

“Jacob Griffin,” Abby warned him, pointing the turkey baster at her husband.  “Last year, you made my sister cry because she thinks Clarke is going to hell for liking women.  Let her poor heart rest this year, okay?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, but didn’t comment.

“What?  And let your sister get away with passive aggressive biphobic comments about my daughter?”  Jake shook his head.  “Never.  You’ve got to have fun with the fact that our family is so damn conservative, Abbs, otherwise it gets sad and annoying.”

Abby turned back to the turkey.  “It’s not funny anymore, Jake.  You know my sisters are very conservative, they don’t like liberal talk.”

“And I don’t like conservative talk!  Clarke shouldn’t have to be the only cousin not to talk about her crush or who she’s dating just because that might be a girl!”  Jake said.  “Come on, Abby, you know it’s hilarious watching your sisters flail around, trying not to break down in tears out of fake sympathy for our daughter.”

“I think it’s funny,” Clarke spoke up, rolling up her sleeves.  “Aunt Rose can suck it,”

“Clarke!”  Abby accosted her daughter.  “Be polite.  So, yes, it is rather amusing, but for the love of anything good, let’s have a peaceful day.”

“Why?  She already says I’m going to burn in hell for dating girls and boys, so why not add some rudeness to that hell sentence?”  Clarke teased.  “Aunt Rose is afraid I’ll turn her kids into lesbians instead of Jesus freaks,” Clarke rolled her eyes. 

“Can you two please just behave for _one_ family holiday?”

“No,” Jake and Clarke both said.

* * *

Keeping well to their promise, dinner certainly was a fantastic event for Jake and Clarke.

“So, Clarke, have you got a boyfriend yet?  It’s been an awful long time since you brought someone home for us all to meet!” Aunt Rose, a forty-two year old woman with crow’s feet and gray hair, asked Clarke.

Clarke sipped at her water.  Across from her at the long table in the dining room, Jake winked.  Clarke cleared her throat.  “No, Aunt Rose,” Clarke said politely.  “After everything that happened with Finn, I haven’t felt like dating any boys very much.”

“Well, darling, you have plenty of time to find a nice man to settle down with,” Aunt Rose said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin.

“Or a woman,” Clarke added with a smile.

Abby choked on her mashed potatoes.

Bellamy shot Echo an amused look.  Echo had no clue what was about to go down.

“Oh, you mean like a best friend you’ll live with?”  Aunt Rose asked, a tight lipped smile on her face.  “That’s also a good plan, dear!  Someone to spend your days with until you find a man to love.”

Clarke shook her head, her sickeningly sweet smile still present.  “No, Aunt Rose, I meant a girlfriend.”

Juniper, Rose’s youngest daughter at the age of nine, asked, “How would a girl have a girlfriend?”

“They don’t, sweetie.  Boys have girlfriends.  Clarke is talking about a girl who is a friend,” Rose shot a glare at Clarke.  “Aren’t you, dear?”

The rest of the family was still.

Abby propped her elbows on the table, dropping her face into her hands.  At her side, her mother, Wilma, chastised Abby.  “I’ve been telling you for forty nine years to not do that, Abigail!” She swatted at her daughter’s elbows, pushing them off the table.

Silence hung in the air as Clarke and her aunt had an unofficial staring contest.  Rose was the first to break eye contact, looking back down at her confused daughter.

Clarke looked at her little cousin.  “Junie, honey, girls can have girlfriends just like boys can.  And boys can have boyfriends just like girls can,” Clarke explained.  “If I have a girlfriend, that means I can hold her hand and go on dates with her just like a boy could.  It’s okay, it just isn’t as common as a boy having a girlfriend.”

Juniper made a face, before nodding.  “That makes sense, Clarkie.  Do you get to kiss her, too?”

Clarke smiled.  “If you really like her, then yes, you can kiss your girlfriend.  Boys can kiss girls or boys, and girls can kiss girls or boys.”

Rose put her hand on Juniper’s shoulder.  “Your cousin Clarke is a character, isn’t she?  Why, look at everyone here, Juniper,” she gestured at the table.  “All your aunts have husbands, don’t they?  And all your grandpas have wives, see?  It’s natural for men and women to be together, not women and women or men and men.”

At this point, Juniper was utterly confused.  “But Clarkie just said—”

“Clarke is wrong, sweetheart.” Rose interrupted.  Deciding to change the topic, she said, “My, this turkey is lovely!  Thank you, Abby.”

Abby grunted a response.

Octavia let out a low whistle.  She leaned over Bellamy, sitting next to her, to whisper to Echo, “Clarke’s aunts are all huge homophobes.  We like to play jokes on them every year to get them riled up, especially Clarke’s dad.  He hates his sisters-in-law.”

Echo nodded, a wolfish grin on her face.  “Can I pull a prank on them, too?”

Bellamy’s eyebrows rose.  “That would certainly be the quickest way to get Jake to love you,”

Echo cracked her neck.  “All right, I’ll get parent number one on my side, then.”  She pulled out her phone and started texting away under the table.

_Echo bo Becho:  
I need you ASAP._

In seconds, she got a response.

 _Lexa T-Rexa:_  
Happy Turkey Day to you, too.  
What’s up?

 _Echo bo Becho:_  
Clarke’s family is full of raging homophobes.  
Bell and O said that they all pull pranks on them  
to get them all upset.  Help me prank them.

 _Lexa T-Rexa:_  
Making a GREAT impression on your future in-  
laws, I see.

 _Echo bo Becho:_  
Apparently Clarke’s dad is always the main culprit.  
Bell says it’s the way to win Jake over.

 _Lexa T-Rexa:_  
…Okay, I’m in.  
What are we doing?

 _Echo bo Becho:_  
FaceTime me in 10 minutes, I’ll say my sister is calling  
because she wants to say hi to the family.  
When they ask why, I’ll say you’re Clarke’s gf.  
PLAY THE PART.  
Be all lovey dovey and shit.  
I’ll text Clarke to get her in on it.

 _Lexa T-Rexa:_  
I like this plan.  
I get to have fun  & piss off homophobes while  
pretending Clarke is dating me?  
WOW, it’s like you’re holding a gun to my head.

Echo showed the texts to Bellamy, who tried hard not to laugh out loud and disrupt the small talk that had started up again.

Echo texted Clarke quickly.

 _Bell & O told me you & Jake like to prank these_  
homophobes.  Lexa will be calling in 10 to pretend  
she’s your gf.  GO WITH IT.  It’ll be funny.

Clarke didn’t respond, but she nodded diagonally across the table to Echo with a wink.

“So, Echo,” Another of Abby’s sisters, Darleen, spoke up.  “You are very lovely!”

Echo nodded once.  “Thank you,” she said.

“So, when did you two start dating?”

Bellamy spoke.  “A couple weeks ago,” and Echo nodded.

“That’s very sweet,” Darleen said.  “You two will make beautiful children one day if you get married,”

“That,” Echo said, “is very far off in the future, if at all.”

“And what about you, Octavia?”

Octavia looked at her adoptive aunt Darleen.  At her side, Aurora rested her hand on Octavia’s leg.  Octavia had filled her mother in on everything concerning Raven earlier that morning, and Aurora knew her daughter may not particularly want to talk about it.

“What exactly, Aunt Darleen?”  Octavia asked.

“Any boyfriends?”

Octavia shook her head.  “Not at the moment, no,”

“That’s okay,” Darleen said.  “You have plenty of time to find a man.”

“Oh, Darleen,” Constance, Octavia’s grandmother spoke up.  “My granddaughter is about as straight as a curve in the road, don’t you know that?  She’s just like Clarke, she is, that bisexual thing that no one really understands.  But we love her to death anyway,” Constance sighed.  “Can’t you ask if she has a girlfriend?”

“We’ve gone through this already,” Darleen said, gesturing to her daughter Bethany, who was twelve.  “Girls don’t have girlfriends.”

Jake cleared his throat.  “They can, and they do, Darleen.”

“Just one Thanksgiving, that’s all I asked,” Abby muttered, looking up at the ceiling.

A ringing interrupted the dispute that was in the beginnings of surfacing.  All the aunts and uncles looked over at Echo, who pulled out her phone, scandalized.  “Young lady, we don’t use those at the dinner table in this family,” Rose said.

“Who is it?”  Jake asked, politely.

Echo nodded at Clarke’s dad.  “My sister!” She said happily.  “She was sorry she couldn’t make it, but she wanted to meet you all.  May I answer it so she can?”

“I suppose,” Rose scoffed.

Jake rolled his eyes.  “I’d love to meet her.”

Echo answered the FaceTime call.  “Lexa!  Hi!  You look lovely.  Here’s the family,” she said, playing the part.  Lexa, say hi!” She turned the phone so that people could see her sister.  They waved, mostly the younger kids.

“Hello!  Wow, big family!” Lexa said, waving.  “Mr. Griffin, Mrs. Griffin?”  She asked.

Echo moved the phone to face the Griffin couple better.  “Why, hello, Lexa!”  Jake said.  “Echo said you wanted to come but couldn’t make it?  Well, feel free to come by any time!  Any friend of Clarke’s, Octavia’s, or Bellamy’s is a friend welcome here.”

“Thank you, Mr. Griffin.  From what I can see, your house is lovely, Mrs. Griffin.”

Abby’s head perked up a little at that.  A smile graced her lips.  “Thank you, Lexa.”

Echo was ready.

Clarke was ready.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

“Now, where’s my pretty girlfriend?  I tried calling her first, but I guess her phone is elsewhere.”

Clarke grabbed for the phone from Echo.  “Hello, love!” She said.

Mouths opened wide.

Rose nearly fainted.  “I thought you weren’t dating anyone,” she said through grit teeth.

Clarke smiled at her aunt.  “No, Aunt Rose, I said I wasn’t dating any men.  Lexa, as you can see, is not a man.”

“You look beautiful, I wish I could be there,” Lexa said from the other side of the phone.

Clarke put a hand over her heart.  “Me too!  We’ll make sure you meet everyone in person soon.”

Juniper hopped out of her chair and ran down next to Clarke.  “Is this your girlfriend?”

Clarke nodded, handing the phone to the nine year old.  “That’s Lexa, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Hi,” Juniper said.

“Hello,” Lexa replied.

“So, you’re both girls?  And you’re dating?”

Lexa nodded.  “That’s right, sweetheart.”

Juniper let out a long sigh.  “Great, if girls can date girls _and_ boys, I have to worry about _girlfriends_ too, in high school.”

Jake let out a loud laugh at that, as did his parents.  The aunts did not.

“So, do you…. _kiss_ Clarkie?”  Juniper whispered a loud whisper to Lexa.

Lexa glanced over at where Clarke was in the screen, giving a small smile with a blush on her face.  “Well, I certainly would like to kiss Clarkie right now.”

“Hey, that’s Junie’s nickname for me,” she poked her tongue out at Lexa.  “You need to call a different name for me.”

“Oh, I call out your name plenty, Clarke.”  Lexa smiled.

Darleen dropped her fork onto her plate in shock.  “Did she just make a…a… _dirty_ joke in front of a nine year old?  Is no one else beside themselves?”

Juniper tilted her head.  “I don’t see anything wrong with what Lex-ah said.  She just said she says Clarkie’s name a lot.”

Bellamy snorted, biting his cheek to keep from laughing.

Echo and Octavia were bursting at the seams.

Jake caught on pretty quick that this was a joke, he wasn’t dumb; he knew Clarke wasn’t involved with anyone.  She always did tell him when she was with someone.  Watching this unfold was quite enjoyable, to say the least.  Beside him, his wife let her head hit the table, clattering the china around her.  “ _One_ holiday.”

Clarke took back the phone and held it up.  She flipped the screen so that Lexa could see everyone again.  “That’s my Aunt Rose, her daughters Juniper, Daisy, and Lily, my Aunt Darleen and her daughter Bethany, my Grandma Eloise, Grandpa Frederick, Grandma Wilma, Grandpa Robert…” she went down the line, trying her hardest not to laugh at each of the aunt’s reactions.

Clarke’s grandpa Frederick, Jake’s dad, took the phone from Clarke.  “Oh my!  Lexa is very gorgeous,” he complimented her.

“Thank you, sir.  You’re Clarke’s…grandfather?”  Lexa asked.

“Yes I am!  I am so happy my Clarke has found such a lovely young woman to date.”

“Why, thank you!”

Lexa turned, hearing her sister’s voice.  “Well, I better be going.  My sister and I are home with our family for the holiday, and my mother is apparently getting impatient.”

“Oh!  Say goodbye to your sweetheart,” Frederick handed Clarke back the phone.

“Time for the cherry on top,” Octavia mumbled, smirking.

“I love you, Clarke.”  Lexa said.  Her cheeks were burning red.

“I love you, too, Lexa,” Clarke responded.  Her cheeks weren’t much better.

Not how either of them pictured ever pictured a first “I love you.”

Rose hastily stood from her seat.  “That is enough!  Clarke Griffin,” she pointed at her niece.  “You will rot in hell with that…that _lesbian_ girlfriend of yours!  Heinz, grab the girls, we are _leaving_.”

“Oh no, don’t go, we’ll miss you,” Eloise, Jake’s mother, said sarcastically.

Lexa, still on the line, said, “Wait,”

“What?”  Clarke asked, confused.

“Please give the phone to the woman who just insulted me.”  Lexa said, voice even.

Still standing, Rose snatched the phone from Clarke, who outstretched her hand to give it to her.  “What?”  She snapped at Lexa.

“I truly wish I could be here today, to meet all of you lovely people,” Lexa said, voice strong.  “But right now, the main reason I wish I were there would be to hold my lovely girlfriend after having to endure hearing such hateful comments from her own family.  If you claim to be Christian, you would know one of the most prominent rules of Christianity comes from Luke 6:37, ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.’  So, my dear Rose, if you wish to shove Christianity’s skewed views of homosexuals and bisexuals upon your family, at least follow your own damn rules first.  I hope you know that between yourself and Clarke, the one who has the better chance of going to hell is you.  Clarke is simply loving someone, how can that possibly be offensive to your God?  But you, you are judging and condemning; so your God will judge and condemn you.”

Rose hung up the call.  “I am appalled at all of you.”  She looked at her siblings and parents.  “For letting that girl and Clarke stain our family.”

With that, she dropped the phone on the dining room table and left the room, her immediate family in tow.  “Bye Clarkie,” Juniper said sadly.

Clarke waved.  “By, Junie.”

Darleen sniffled, setting her napkin down and reaching for her kids as well.  “We’re going back with Aunt Rose now, dears.”

When the sound of the front door slamming shut was heard, Jake jumped to his feet.  “Fantastic!” He yelled.  “The homophobes have left the building,” he high-fived his daughter.

Echo burst out laughing.  “I totally just screwed your family over big time,”

Jake gaped.  “That was you?  That’s ballsy, I like it.  I thought that was Clarke’s idea,”

Abby let out a long sigh.  “I suppose it was nice to hear that lovely girl shut up my sisters,”

Abby’s mom let out a small giggle.  “My daughters can be so very narrow minded.  Thank you for putting them in their place.”

Echo beamed.

Aurora smiled.  “She’s definitely part of the family, alright.”

Echo’s phone began ringing again.  She swiped it open.  “Lexa! Hi!  You did it!  We got the homo haters to leave.”

Lexa chuckled.  “Good.  I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t caused World War III over there in DC.”

Jake took the phone.  “You, whoever you are, are a godsend.  We’ve been pulling practical jokes on those two for years and they’ve never broken until you.”

Abby took the phone from Jake, then.  “Who even are you?” She asked with a small laugh.

“Alexandria Woods.  I’m a novelist, and an activist for LGBT+ rights.  And I am Echo’s sister, but not Clarke’s real girlfriend, sadly.”

Abby hummed, a small smile on her lips.  “Okay.”

“Mrs. Griffin, I do apologize if you’re upset but…as a gay woman, it’s quite enjoyable to make homophobes mad, especially for others who ask me to help them do it.”

“My daughter and Echo put you up to this, didn’t they?” Abby asked.

Lexa nodded.

After a pause, Abby said, “Well, someone had to put them in their place, I suppose.”

“What a Thanksgiving,” Octavia said, slamming her hands down on the table.  “I’m ready for some pie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it folks!
> 
> ....At least until finals are over, then I'll be back with more.
> 
> Come talk to me at jinglehalseys.tumblr.com!!


	8. The One With the Pushy Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Echo and Anya are relentless; Jake wins best dad of the year; Aurora loves embarrassing Bellamy; Clarke and Octavia babysit an army of kids; Lexa and Clarke are love-struck idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this one is shorter than normal, but basically all fluff.
> 
> So much fluff.

To no one’s surprise, the kids were the ones who cleaned up after dinner.

While Echo and Octavia busied themselves with washing the dishes and Bellamy stored all the food away, Jake pulled Clarke aside, walking out to their backyard patio.

“So, who really is Alexandria?”  He asked, shutting the glass door behind him.

Clarke stared at her father, giving him a small shrug.  “A girl,” she said, cheeks heating up against the brisk air.  She tugged her sweater tighter, wrapping her arms around her body.

Jake took a seat on the patio swing, patting the spot next to him.  “Siddown, kiddo,” and Clarke obliged, taking a seat next to her father.  Her feet dangled slightly above the patio stones as Jake pushed the swing, letting it rock them.  “I saw that look on your face,” Jake smiled at his daughter.  “You might’ve been pretending, but the last time I saw your eyes light up like that, talking to someone…you were in love with Finn.”

Clarke sighed.  “Yeah,”

Jake rested a hand on his daughter’s knee, nodding.  “It’s okay to fall in love again.”  He said, giving her knee a shake.  “Not everyone will turn out like him.”

Clarke let out a small laugh at that.  “I know.  I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m in _love_ with Lexa.”

“There’s a but in there somewhere,” Jake urged her on.

“ _But_ ,” Clarke added, squeezing herself a little tighter.  “I sort of like her.  A little,” she puffed out a small breath, nose crinkling.  “A lot.  It’s complicated.”

“We have time,” Jake encouraged.

Clarke unwrapped her arms from around herself, rubbing her legs to get some warmth through her jeans.  “So I’ve never met her in person.”  She started, looking up at her dad.

Jake raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment.

“She’s kind of.  Okay, she’s a YouTuber.  I saw her on YouTube, and I watched her channel, and got this, like, celebrity crush on her.  She’s pretty famous, actually,” Clarke tugged at a little ringlet, cheeks dusting pink.  She cleared her throat.  “And uh, she _is_ Echo’s half-sister.  Well, Echo’s half-sister’s half-sister.  Echo and Lexa aren’t really related, but—I’m getting off track.  She and Echo are family.  And, like, Octavia’s friend Raven is Echo’s roommate, and the connections all just came together and—” she didn’t realize she began rattling on before Jake laughed, holding a hand up.

“I’m getting too old to keep up with your fast chatter, kiddo,” he said, shaking his head.  “Slow down,”

“Sorry,” Clarke ducked her head, taking a deep breath.  “Anyway,” Clarke slowed herself down, “Basically, I watch her channel.  She’s adorable.  And queer.  And Octavia talked to Raven who talked to Echo who talked to Lexa, and, well, they’re doing a book tour in DC and I’m going to meet her.”

Jake smiled.  “Cute.”

Clarke snorted.  “Cute?”

Jake nodded at his daughter.  “You’re one smitten kitten.  Have you talked to Lexa before today?”

Clarke nodded, hands still playing with her hair.  “Yeah, once.  We talked for…for _hours_ , Dad.  About—about everything.  From Octavia and Echo to favorite singers to movies and songs and holidays…”

Clarke trailed off. 

“When do you meet her, then?” 

“Christmas Eve,” Clarke said, brushing strands of hair behind her ears.  “They’ll be in DC then for the tour.”

“Where does she live?”

“New York,”

Jake nodded, processing.  Finally, he shrugged.  “I say go for it, squirt.”

Clarke rose an eyebrow.  “You think?”

Jake grinned.  “You are infatuated, my dear.  And it didn’t seem like Lexa was just pretending either.”

At that, Clarke grew confused.  “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Jake began, taking a breath.  “For starters, she said she wasn’t your real girlfriend, ‘ _sadly_.’”

Clarke hummed.

“She sure as hell sounded sincere when she said that,” Jake said, crossing his arms.  “It doesn’t hurt that she looked at you the way your mother looks at Louboutin shoes, either.  Absolute adoration.”

Clarke shook her head, laughing.  “She was…just playing a part, Dad.  Echo and I asked her to, that’s all.”

Jake shrugged, relenting.  “Alright.  If you say so, Clarke.”

Clarke didn’t respond.

“Still…I say take a chance.”  Jake spoke, standing.  “You’re young.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  You need to act on impulse, sometimes.  If you meet her and you…you feel…like you just want to be _with_ her, do it.  Ask her out.  Be young, Clarke.  Don’t be afraid of falling in love again.”

With that, he left her on the swing alone.

-

“I can’t believe you did that,”

Lexa smiled, shrugging.  “It was funny.”

“I can’t believe her parents _laughed_ at it.”  Anya let out a low whistle.  “Mom would kill us if we made our family leave in the middle of dinner.”

Lexa hummed, focus shifting back to her suitcase, which she was currently re-packing, as the two would have to fly off back to California to continue the tour later that night.

Anya rolled her eyes, sitting on Lexa’s childhood bed.  “You’re so enamored with Clarke.”

Lexa inhaled sharply, dropping the shirt she’d been folding in surprise.  “What?  No, I most certainly am _not_.  I helped her pull a prank on her family, that’s it.”

“‘ _I’m not her real girlfriend, sadly_ ,’” Anya mocked, laughing.  “Sadly?  Come on Lex, even Mom lost it when she heard that.  You’re crushing on her, just admit it.”

“We’ve had two conversations!”  Lexa blushed, hurrying to finish packing her clothes.

“And it only takes one to start to fall for someone,” Anya reminded her, getting up from the bed.  “You looked happy talking to her.  It looked real.  Like, that ‘I love you’ bit was really convincing.  _Too_ convincing,” she teased.  Anya ruffled Lexa’s hair, eliciting a grunt from her little sister.  “One more month, Lex, then you’ll see your little lover girl.”

“Oh, please, Anya,” Lexa zipped her suitcase, standing.

“You just don’t want to admit you’re falling in love again.”

“I’m not falling in love!”  Lexa laughed, shoving her sister.  Anya smiled down at Lexa, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl and rocking them side to side.

“Yes you are, nugget!”

 Lexa screeched, trapped by the bear hug.  “No! This isn’t fair, you’ve always been stronger than me,” she grunted, trying to lift her arms even slightly from where they were pinned at her sides.

“Do I need to break you two up, girls?”  An amused voice came from the hallway.

“ _Mom_ , help me!”  Lexa wailed, as Anya squeezed her tighter.  “She’s _suffocating me_!”

“Because you won’t just admit you like Clarke!”

“Because I _don’t_ , we’re just _friends_ —”

The girls’ mom shook her head, crossing her arms.  “Oh Jesus, Lexa, if my _friends_ looked at me the way you looked at that girl when you called her, I’d be expecting a love confession and proposal the next day.”

 Lexa tried to not smile, she really did.  “Damn you,” she laughed at her mother, burying her face in Anya’s shoulder, relenting to the fact that she was trapped.

“Should we start singing that _Hercules_ song to you?  How does it go?”  Anya asked, looking over at her mother.

“Oh great, _this_ again!  We did this with Costia, do we really have to—?”

Lexa’s pleas were cut off when her mom starting belting out the first verse.

“I hate you both!”  She yelled over her sister and mother’s (very off key) singing.

-

Near the end of break, the Griffins hosted their annual end of fall bonfire. 

It was a big event.

The Griffins never went only halfway with this finely orchestrated party; Jake and some of the other neighborhood men barbequed enough food to feed an army, while Abby, Aurora, and some of the other moms would prepare desserts and treats for everyone, and set up the S’more bar by the fire pit on a long, fold out table for the kids. It was always Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia’s job to pitch tents for the neighborhood kids to sleep in for the night.  It was something Clarke had loved and looked forward to since she was little; now was no different.

Aurora walked over to the setup Clarke and the others had started, placing a hand on Bellamy’s arm.  “Bellamy, can we talk for a moment?”  She asked, watching as Echo helped him prop up their tent.

“‘Course, Mom,” he said, nodding to Echo to stop for a moment.  “What is it?”

“Well, you know Abby and I prefer you and Echo to not share a bed,” she started, smiling as her son shifted awkwardly.  “But we let you, despite our...difference in opinion.  However, the other neighborhood moms most likely will prefer if you share with your sister, alright?  I know you are two adults who can make your own decisions, but out of respect for them,”

Echo stepped in, nodding at Aurora.  “That’s fine, this one can handle one night without me.  I can share with Clarke.”

“Thank you,” Aurora smiled, patting Echo’s shoulder.  “Carry on, the S’mores station is ready whenever you are, and I know you kids still love your S’mores.”

“Fuck yeah we do!”  Octavia said, fist pumping the air.

“Octavia!  There are five year olds here!”  Aurora reprimanded, shaking her head.

“Whoops,” Octavia grinned cheekily.  She glanced over at Clarke.  “Race you to the house!  Last one there’s a rotten egg,”

Clarke gaped as Octavia sped off.  “No fair!  I was distracted by setting up the tent!”   Her arms pumped at her sides as she chased Octavia down the length of the large backyard.

Aurora rolled her eyes.  “I miss you kids,” she sighed, wistfully, watching as some of the younger kids in the neighborhood joined Clarke and Octavia’s race to the S’mores bar to get started.  “You all used to be so little, now you’re all grown up,”

Bellamy wrapped an arm around his mother, pulling her to his side.  “Just because we’re grown up doesn’t mean we’re not still your kids,” he reminded giving her a squeeze.

“Remember when you used to race me like that?”  Aurora said, putting a hand over her heart.  “Oh, you were the cutest kid!  With your little diapers and your tiny feet, oh my.”

Echo snorted, hands coming up to cover her mouth as she laughed.  “I’m sorry, just imagining Baby Bellamy is too cute,”

Aurora nodded.  “He was!  Oh, I’ll have to run in and get the baby book—”

Bellamy groaned, the smile slipping off his face.  “We don’t need to do that,”

Echo pinched his side, smiling.  “Yes, we do.  I want to see what _wittle baby bell_ looked like,”

“I’ll show you later on tonight,” Aurora promised.  She moved out of her son’s hug, pointing to the strewn around tents.  “Alright, pick up your sisters’ slack and finish propping the tents,”

“But _Mom_ , Clarke and O left!  They should be the ones to finish!”  Bellamy whined.

Aurora waved him off.  “Listen to your mother,”

As the night went on, S’mores got made, the barbequed food got eaten, the dads of the neighborhood had retreated inside to watch the football game on, and the moms sat outside, watching the kids play with glasses of wine in hand.

Clarke was exhausted.  Keeping up with all the kids in the neighborhood was tiring.  The kindergarten aged ones were fast and constantly wanted to move, the middle school aged ones were ‘too cool’ to participate in any of the games Clarke tried to play with them, and the high schoolers tried on not one, not two, but _three_ different occasions to bust into the liquor cabinet.  It was tiring too keep up with all of them, while keeping them out of trouble from the parents.

Clarke loved it.

It was getting dark, now, the sun barely hanging in the sky.  Some of the younger kids had gone off to the ‘campsite’ with the tents, and were sitting around in a circle, talking.  A few had gone inside to join the dads to watch the game on, and a few had stayed around the fire pit, continuing to make S’mores.

As promised, Aurora had brought out the baby books.

Bellamy was mortified to see just how many baby books there were.

Together, Aurora, Bellamy, and Echo sat on one of the wooden benches around the fire pit, flipping through the pages and laughing.  “Aw, Bell, you _were_ a cute kid,” Echo said.  “What happened?”  She teased.

Aurora laughed, shaking her head.  “I like you, Echo.  Bellamy’s never brought home a girl before.”

Echo’s eyebrow rose at that.  “Really?” She asked, her voice light.

Bellamy coughed, trying to cover up a blush.  “Well, no one’s been good enough to bring home.”

Echo smiled, tucking her hand in Bellamy’s.  Aurora flipped through some more pages, until Bellamy’s baby book began the shift to Bellamy, Clarke, and Octavia’s baby book.  “Oh, look!  There’s little Octavia,” Aurora sniffled, seeing the grainy picture Abby had snapped quickly in the car of Octavia before she had driven them to the hospital.  “She looks so disgusting,” Aurora laughed, nose crinkling.  “But at the time, I thought she was so beautiful.”

Echo’s phone buzzed.  “Sorry,” she said, her free hand tugging her phone out of her sweatshirt’s pocket.

“No worries!”  Aurora said, laughing as she kept going through the pages.

“It’s Anya,” Echo said, before answering the FaceTime call.  “Hey!  What’s up?”

“Check this out,” Anya said, flipping her phone around so Echo could see.

“ _Whoa_ ,” Echo said, eyes widening.  Aurora and Bellamy moved to see the picture on the screen.

“Yeah, we got double booked, so the manager moved us up to the presidential suite.  How fucking cool is that?”

In the background, Echo heard a loud squeal.  She laughed.  “Lexa?”  She asked.

“ _Oh my god, there’s a big Jacuzzi tub, Anya, it’s like, as big as a pool!”_

Anya moved hastily down the hall, walking into the bathroom where Lexa was.  Her jaw dropped.  “That thing is huge!”

“Where are you guys right now?”  Echo asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Los Angeles,” Lexa all but screamed.  “We’re in LA, in the presidential suite of a really nice hotel, and we aren’t even paying extra ‘cause it’s the hotel’s fault we were roomless, oh my gosh, this is fantastic!”

“Jealous,” Bellamy laughed.

Anya flipped the phone back on her.  “Is that the Bellamy I’ve been hearing about?”

“Hi,” Bellamy poked his head in next to Echo’s.  “I’m the boyfriend,”

Anya hummed, giving him a glare.  “And I’m the big sister who boxes.”

Bellamy gave a curt nod.  “Duly noted,”

Lexa’s head popped up next to Anya’s.  “Oh, Echo, he’s cute,” she said, nodding appreciatively at Bellamy.  “Not that I’d go for that,” her nose crinkled.

Aurora pressed in from Echo’s other side.  “Are you Lexa?”

Lexa nodded, head tilting to the side.  “Yes, I am.”

“I’m Bellamy and Octavia’s mom, Aurora.”

“Pleasure,” she spoke, pushing a strand of hair back.

“You’re the one who pranked our family, right?”  Aurora asked, a smile on her lips.

“I am!”  She said, with a laugh.  “Sorry,”

“No need to be.” Her eyes flittered over to where Clarke was sat, teaching one of the neighborhood girls how to make a S’more.  “Clarke sure has good taste, you are rather pretty.”

Anya let out a quick laugh, and Lexa’s face paled.  “Oh, well we aren’t _actually_ together—”

“Yet,” Anya and Echo chorused, teasing their sister.

“Well, then,” Lexa mumbled, hand coming to the back of her neck and rubbing at it.  She tried to change the topic.  “What are you guys doing, then?”

Echo flipped the screen, showing Anya and Lexa the baby book.  “Looking at Bell’s old baby pictures.  Well, now it’s sort of all of their old baby pictures.”

“Oh my god, is that Clarke?”  Anya asked, seeing a picture of a small blonde grinning cheekily into the camera.

“It is!” Bellamy laughed.  “Look at her chubby cheeks,”

Aurora kept flipping through the pages, now with added commentary from Anya and Lexa as well.  “Oh, this was when they all picked out their own pumpkins for the first time!  Look how cute they are,” Aurora cooed.

“That pumpkin is bigger than Clarke, how’d she lift it?”  Lexa laughed, seeing the small girl wrap her arms around a particularly robust pumpkin.

“Oh, she dropped it on her foot after the picture was taken,” Aurora laughed.  “She broke her foot.  We brought her home a smaller pumpkin after.”

Anya rolled her eyes.  “Your girlfriend is clumsy,”

“We’re not together!”  Lexa whined, feeling though it was in vain.

(Which it was.)

“I remember that,” Bellamy said, pointing to a picture of the three on Halloween.  “Clarke demanded she dress up as Sailor Moon and me as Tuxedo Mask, and Octavia as their kid—what was her name?”

“Sailor Chibi Moon,” Lexa murmured, cheeks heating up.  “What?  I loved _Sailor Moon_ as a kid.”

“Don’t pretend I don’t catch you still watching it from time to time, Lexa.”  Anya rolled her eyes.

“So does Clarke,” Echo snorted.  “I’ve seen her watch it a bunch.  She loves it.”

“Well, it _is_ a classic.” Lexa said, her cheeks hurting from containing her smile.

“Clarke had the _biggest_ crush on Tuxedo Mask.”  Bellamy said, shaking his head.  “She would race me home from school every day and force me to watch those VHS tapes with her.  I think I was, what, seven when this was taken?  So she was six?”

“Clarke _also_ had the biggest crush on _Bellamy_ when this picture was taken,” Aurora smirked, nudging her son.  “That’s why she wanted you to dress up as him so bad.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, I remember.”

“I thought she looked at you guys like siblings?”  Echo laughed.

“Oh, she does.” Bellamy grimaced, “Now, at least.  But she was…obsessed with me for a year.”

“That’s really cute,” Anya said.  “Also a little weird, but cute.”

“Where is Clarke, anyway?”  Lexa asked, then after a moment added, “And Octavia?” trying not to sound too interested.

(She failed.)

At the comment, Echo flipped her screen to give her sister an amused look. 

Three matching pairs of smirks looked back at her from Anya’s phone.  “What?”  She asked, acting nonchalant.  “I was just wondering where the other half of your gang was,”

Echo rolled her eyes, angling the phone so Lexa where Clarke was sat.  “You wanna go talk to your girlfriend?  Looks like you got some competition, that little girl seems to admire Clarke.”

Lexa watched Clarke help one of the kids put together her S’more.  The kid was staring up at Clarke, eyes full of admiration at this _pretty adult_ who was helping _her_ make S’mores. 

Lexa was just about to insist it was okay, when Echo was getting up from the wooden bench and shoving her phone in Clarke’s hands.  Clarke blindly reached for Echo’s phone, grabbing it as she patted the little girl’s head, sending her on her way with her S’more.  She looked down, eyes widening in surprise to see Lexa and Anya on the screen.  “Oh, hi,” she said, giving them a quick smile.  She looked up at Echo, eyes questioning.

“What?  Thought you’d want to talk to your girlfriend.”  Echo shrugged, crossing her arms.  “What’s that?  I think Aurora’s calling for me to finish looking at those baby pictures,” Echo smirked.  “Bye Clarke!”

Clarke let out an uncomfortable laugh.

“Uh, you know, I think I hear mom calling me, bye Lexa!”  Anya caught on to what her sister was doing.  With that, Anya was out of the camera view.

“Wh—what?”  Lexa called after her in disbelief.  “I’m _on_ your phone!”

“I think,” Clarke said after a moment’s pause, “that everyone is trying to set us up.”

Lexa let out a breathy laugh.  “I think you’re right.”

“But that’s silly, right?  Because we’ve never even met.”

“Right,” Lexa agreed, nodding.  “We’ve never met.  It would be silly.”

“Even if I do sort of have a crush on you,” Clarke added as an afterthought.

“Even if _I_ sort of have a crush on _you_ ,” Lexa whispered.

“Which is silly,” Clarke said quickly.  “It’s silly that I like you, and you like me, because we…we don’t really know each other.”

Lexa nodded.  “We don’t know each other.  We’ve only had a few conversations.”

“Yeah,” Clarke cleared her throat.  “And it’s not like I know your favorite color is red, but your favorite color to wear is black, or anything.”

“Or that yours is pink.  Well, not hot pink, or bright pink, but,” Lexa smiled, “a natural pink.  Cherry blossom pink.”

Clarke smiled back.  “And it’s not like I know you’ve always wanted to have a black cat and name him Salem, because you had a crush on Melissa Joan Hart and _Sabrina the Teenage Witch_ was your favorite show in grade school.”

“Or like how I don’t know that your favorite show in grade school was _Full House_ and you had a crush on D.J. Tanner, and all of her boyfriends, too.”

“We hardly know anything about each other,” Clarke concluded, cheeks pink.

“Nothing at all,” Lexa agreed.

“So it would be—”

“ _Silly_ ,” both girls said at the same time.

Then, they both let out a small laugh.

“So, maybe I know a little bit about you.”  Clarke relented, shrugging.

“And I, you,” Lexa agreed.

Clarke couldn’t help but smile.  “So maybe it wouldn’t be _too_ entirely silly if—”

“If they _were_ trying to set us up.”  Lexa finished for her.

Clarke nodded.  “Yeah.”

“ _Just ask her out already!_ ”

Lexa flushed, hearing her sister.  “Go jump off the balcony!”  She yelled, her whole face red.

After a moment, Clarke said, “Well?”

Lexa blinked.  She took a deep breath.  “Do you maybe want to get drinks when I’m in DC?”

“A bar?”  Clarke smirked.  “What kind of girl do you take me for, Miss Woods?  Trying to get me drunk on the first date?”

It was Lexa’s turn to clear her throat, uncomfortable.  “No, but I certainly will need the liquid courage to talk to you without making a fool of myself.”

Clarke gave her a soft smile.  “I’d love to grab drinks when you come here.”

Lexa’s resolve broke.  With a grin plastered on her face, she nodded excitedly.  “Okay.  Okay, good.  That—that would be good.”

“ _It’s about time_ ,” Anya called.

“I thought you were busy plummeting down forty stories!”  Lexa wailed, head snapping back to look at her sister.  “Can’t you give me any privacy?”

Anya laughed in the background.  “ _Not when my little sister finally admits she’s falling in lur-ve with Clarkey-boo!_ ”

-

The next day, Clarke tried her hardest to not squeal excitedly when she saw the title of Lexa’s newest video pop up in her inbox.

She failed.

_10 Signs You’re Falling for Someone_

_-_

The only motivator Clarke had to study for finals was Lexa.  Clarke’s thought process revolved only around the certain brunette and just exactly when she’d see her:

_Twenty-three days until Lexa._

_Finals start soon._

_Twenty-two days until Lexa._

_Probably should start studying for finals._

_Twenty-one days until Lexa._

_Okay, Clarke, you really need to start studying for finals._

_Twenty days until Lexa._

_Finals start tomorrow._

_Eighteen days until Lexa._

_Half the finals done, you got this, Clarke._

_Sixteen days until Lexa._

_One last final._

_Thirteen days until Lexa._

_Christmas break starts today._

_Ten days until Lexa._

_Did I buy the groceries? Do we need groceries?  We’ll be going back home in four days—fuck it, we can live off Saltine crackers.  I’m broke._

_Nine days until Lexa._

_Fuck, I didn’t need to see Echo dressed up like a slutty Mrs. Claus giving Santa a lap dance, Bell and Echo can have the apartment, I’m going home early._

_Eight days until Lexa._

_Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!  No, I didn’t come early because I missed you, I came early because I got tired of hearing Echo and her jingle bells all around the house._

_Seven days until Lexa._

_Oh, good of you to join me, Octavia.  Did you get tired of hearing Echo scream your brother’s name, too?_

_Six days until Lexa._

_Raven, of course you can stay with us for break!  Are you excited for the book tour?_

_Five days until Lexa._

_Octavia, you got a match!  Some cutie named Lincoln, that’s adorable._

_Four days until Lexa._

_FUCK, I forgot to buy everyone Christmas gifts.  How did I forget to buy everyone gifts?_

_Three days until Lexa._

_Don’t go shopping three days before Christmas._

_Two days until Lexa._

_Oh, yeah, Christmas is a thing that’s happening soon, isn’t it?_

_One day until Lexa._

_Holy shit balls, this girl’s gonna kill me tomorrow. She’s going to kill me in the sweetest, most beautiful way possible._

_I’m fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me at jinglehalseys.tumblr.com!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	9. The One With the Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy! Longest chapter yet ;)
> 
> Also, hope you like the fact that I incorporated more vlogging and YouTube-ness into this chapter!

December 23rd.

That was the day Clarke was forever going to remember as the most stressful morning of her life.

(And also, the best day of her life.)

Lexa and Anya were flying in to DC from their second to last tour stop, in Virginia Beach. 

Lexa and Clarke had been calling, texting, video chatting, _making plans_ over the last month, after Anya all but forced Lexa to give Clarke her number.

Clarke was going to meet them at their hotel.  Clarke would bring them back to meet their family at her house.  They’d hang out.  Then Clarke would take Lexa on a date.  A real date.  Like, the two of them, alone, kind of date.  And then they’d get drinks, and maybe go back to Lexa’s hotel room, and, Jesus Christ.

It was only eight in the morning and she was already stressing.

Clarke paced her room, holding up dress after dress, blouse after blouse, pants after pants, trying to figure out what to wear.  “Should I wear a dress?  It’s pretty cold outside.  And I don’t want to look like I’m trying _too_ hard, you know?  But will a blouse be okay?  Is that too goody-goody?  Should I go with a band tee shirt?  Is that too casual?  If I don’t wear a dress, I’ll have to wear pants, so should I stick with black jeans?  Lexa likes black clothes; she _told_ me that, I should definitely wear something black—”

“Chill out,” Raven laughed, as the three other girls sat on Clarke’s bed.  “Lexa will think you’re cute in whatever you wear.”

Echo rolled her eyes.  “My sister is hot for you, Clarke, you could show up in a potato sack and she’d still want to hold your hand and buy you drinks.”

“Okay, I _know_ she’s attracted to me, or she wouldn’t have asked me out!”  Clarke said, throwing a pile of clothes onto Octavia’s lap.  “But I’m still trying to impress her, here!  Hopefully this will be a _first_ date, not just a onetime date, you know?”

Octavia rummaged through the stack of clothes on her lap.  “I think a cute dress and some tights would be pretty,” she murmured, pulling out a soft dress.   It was a short dress, hitting around Clarke’s mid-thigh, wine red in color.  Clarke had worn it once before; it was loose and billowy, but flattering for her slender frame, especially when she tacked a belt around her waist.  Clarke did have to admit she loved the dress, especially its long sleeves.  It was cozy, and casual, and _perfect_. “Yeah, go with this one!  Wine brings out your hair color,” Octavia held the dress out for Clarke to grab.  Clarke looked at it, smiling.

“There’s the reason I keep you around,” Clarke joked, gently tugging the dress off its hanger.  She laid it on the bed next to Octavia, tugging her night shirt overhead.

“Yep, my impeccable fashion taste is the only reason you love me,” Octavia smiled, winking at Clarke.

“Okay, now what bra should I wear?  Should I wear a matching set?  Or is that just hoping for too much,” Clarke asked, turning back to her friends with wide eyes.  “Holy shit, there is a real possibility I’m going to have sex with her tonight.”

Echo whooped, throwing her hands up in the air.  “Get it, girl,”

Clarke’s cheeks grew hot.  “I mean, I don’t want to like, jinx myself,” she busied her hands, going back to dig through her underwear drawer.  “But I should definitely wear matching underwear, right?  I mean, it’s classier, you know?  Oh, but what if that looks like I was _expecting_ her to have sex with me.  Jesus Christ,”

Raven bounced off the bed, joining her friend.  She peered into the drawer of bras.  “That one’s pretty,” she said, picking up a sheer, lacy black bra.  “You’d look hot in this,”

“Jesus, Clarke, that’s a really slutty bra.” Octavia laughed, shaking her head.  “When’d you buy that one?”

Clarke ducked her head in embarrassment.  “It was a splurge to celebrate my eighteenth birthday,”

Octavia gaped.  “You were single then!”

“Doesn’t mean I couldn’t treat myself!  I haven’t worn it since I bought it, though” Clarke said, taking it from Raven.  “Left it here.  It’s my favorite.”

Echo grinned.  “There you go, then.”

“It’s like, super sexy, though,” Clarke gave a nervous laugh.  “Definitely will look like I’m trying too hard.”

“Then try too hard!”  Octavia said, exasperated.  “Look, there’s no guarantee that you’ll end up bedding Lexa, but if you do, you better look hot enough to make her want to do it again, cause she lives two hundred miles away.  You have to give her a show to remember,”

Raven hummed.  “She’s got a point.  I mean,” she shrugged, digging through the drawer for Clarke to try to find the matching panties, “if you do get down and dirty, you should look super hot.  Who knows when you guys will be able to again?”

“So,” Clarke said, rocking on the balls of her feet.  “You don’t think I’m like, expecting anything too much, do you?”

Echo groaned, falling back on Clarke’s bed.  “You and my sister are crazy about each other.  Literally everyone knows you’re going to have sex tonight, Clarke.”

Octavia walked over to Clarke, pulling her arm.  “Raven and Echo will set your clothes up for you.  C’mon, let me do you hair and makeup!”

Clarke smiled.  “Fine,”

“Yay!”  Octavia gave a little cheer, running into Clarke’s bathroom.  She returned moments later with bags of makeup in her hands.  “Let’s get started!”

-

“Wow, okay.”

Lexa whirred around, seeing her sister staring at her with wide eyes.

“Don’t say it,” Lexa warned, holding up a finger.

Anya grinned.  “You’re a hot mess getting ready for dates, you know that, right?”

Lexa frowned.  “Or, just don’t listen to me.”

Anya’s eyes flittered around the small hotel room, clothes strewn about everywhere.  “Hey, you look nice.”

Lexa looked down at her soft gray sweater, sighing.  “I don’t know.  Is it, like, too casual?”

Anya smiled, making quick work of helping Lexa pick up her clothes.  “You look pretty.  She’ll love it.”

“She’ll be here in, like, ten minutes,” Lexa said, taking a breath.  She threw her clothes back into her emptied out suitcase.

Anya bent down, picking up a couple of tee shirts from the floor.  “Great observational skills, Lex.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, taking the shirts from Anya.  “I mean,” she said, putting the last of the clothing away, “I’m a little nervous.  Just slightly.  I mean, we’re meeting her family.”

Anya gave her sister a pat on the back.  “You’ve already sort of met them.  Besides, you have to be all gentlemanly.  Gentlewomanly?”  Anya shook her head.  “Jake already likes you, but going the whole mile will impress him.  You know, eating with the parents, telling Jake you’ll have her home by eleven, kissing her cheek on the front porch step,” Anya teased her sister.

Lexa let out a nervous laugh.  “Hopefully Jake won’t mind if I have her home by eleven _tomorrow_ morning,” she muttered.

Anya let out a whistle, punching her sister in the arm.  “See?  I knew I made a good call when I booked us separate rooms for this one.”

Lexa rolled her eyes.  She was blushing, and she knew it.  She cleared her throat.  “Anyway.  How is my hair?  Too…plain?”

Anya tugged at one of Lexa’s loose curls.  “You look beautiful,” she said, sincerely.  “Besides, I’m pretty sure Clarke wouldn’t care if you showed up looking like a hobo.  She’s an artist, right?  Don’t those art girls actually kind of like the homeless look?”

Lexa scoffed, smiling as she shoved her sister.  “You stereotype too much,”

A soft knock came from the hallway.

Lexa’s stomach dropped.  “Okay, she’s here early.  Oh gosh,”

Anya rolled her eyes.  “Are you going to let her stand at the door?”

Lexa wiped her hands down the front of her jeans.  “Okay, I can do this.”

Anya smiled, watching as Lexa made her way to the door.  Her sister was a big nerd.

Lexa opened the door, seeing Clarke standing there.  Her heart fluttered.  Oh, god, she was prettier in person.  Was that possible?

“Hi,” Lexa smiled.

Clarke smiled back.  “Hi,”

“ _Gay_ ,” Anya called out from the behind Lexa.

Clarke peered over Lexa’s shoulder.  “Hi, Anya.”

Lexa scooted over, motioning for Clarke to join them.  “Sorry, come in,”

Clarke nodded her thanks, walking into the small hotel room.  It was cozy.  There was a small bathroom right to her left as she walked in, and an even smaller kitchenette on the right.  It was tight squeezed, but very cute.

“So,” Clarke took a breath, giving them a wide smile.  “Welcome to DC, I guess.  There’s a lot to see, if you like history, and stuff.  I mean, lots of museums, and memorials.  I can, um, show you all the different memorials, if you want, or take you to the Smithsonian!  Or the Holocaust museum!  Oh, no, that would be a downer of a first date,” Clarke muttered, making a face.  “Let’s not go there.  If we go there and then go drink afterward, I’ll be a sad drunk, and that’s no fun for anyone.”

Lexa smiled at the blonde’s babbling.  It was relieving to know that Clarke was just as nervous as she was.  Gently, she rested her hand on Clarke’s arm.  “I’m okay with whatever, Clarke.  It’s only nine, whatever you want to do that we can get done, I’m cool with.”

Clarke tried to resist the urge to scream, because, holy fucking shit, Lexa was touching her.

“Okay you gay nerds, we need to go meet Clarke’s parents,” Anya reminded them, smirking.  “Oh, you two completely forgot I was in the room.”

Clarke coughed, but jingled the car keys in her hand.  “Okay, Anya’s right.  My parents are looking forward to having brunch with you.”

“ _Brunch_ , how posh,” Anya teased Clarke, shooing them out the door.  “Do you have your purse, Lexa?”

Lexa blindly grabbed for it on the rack next to the hotel door.  “I do now,”

“You’re welcome,” Anya rolled her eyes, grabbing two of her own bags.

The car ride was quiet, but not too awkward.  Clarke let Lexa scroll through the stations, something Octavia scoffed at when she heard later, because _no one_ changed the radio station in Clarke’s car.  Anya sat in the back, camera in hand, and she finally broke the silence.  “You know, I’ve been vlogging since we got here, but not since Clarke showed up.  Can I?”

Clarke’s eyes met Anya’s in the rearview mirror.  She let out a little nervous giggle.  “You want me to be in your vlog?”

“Well, I maybe sort of promised people could see Lexa on a date.”

Lexa spun around from the passenger seat.  “Anya!” She gaped, feeling flush.  “No, I don’t think Clarke will be okay with me _vlogging our date_ ,”

“Well, in any case, I brought your little travel camera, too.  Actually, I brought pretty much everything.  Our laptop, for one.  So we can ask the others if they want to do some stuff for the channel, too.” She patted the large carrying case at her side.  Clarke _had_ wondered what was in it.

Clarke spoke, getting the sisters’ attention.  “I mean, it’s what you guys do, right?  It’s your job.  People like to know what’s going on in your life,” she said, turning the steering wheel as she approached her neighborhood.

Lexa shifted back to face Clarke.  “Yes, but you don’t do this for a living,” she reminded Clarke, giving her a small smile.  “You don’t have to be part of any vlogs or videos if you don’t want to.”

Clarke smiled back at Lexa, feeling a little bit relieved, before she shook her head.  “You know what?  Go for it.  It’ll be fun.  Octavia will be jealous if I become a hit on YouTube,” she grinned, eyes going back to the road.

Anya and Lexa sat, frozen. 

“What?  I’m serious, go for it.  It’s cool, it’s your job.”  Her cheeks tinged pink as she added, “besides, if you vlog our date it might end up being cute and I might watch it a couple times.”

Lexa bit her lip, feeling a smile come on as well.  “So, have you decided where you’re taking me?”

Clarke nodded.  “The Natural History Museum, if you don’t mind.  It’s always been my favorite.”

“Sounds like fun,” Lexa said, glancing down at her lap.  Oh, god, just imagining her date with Clarke that would start in probably close to an hour was sending her nerves crazy.

Anya made a little noise in the back.  “And I’ll be stuck at your house with your whack job friends and my sister,” she joked.

“Hey,” Clarke murmured, looking back at Anya in the mirror again.  “They’re your whack job friends now, too.  Anyway, we’ll be home in about five minutes, so if you want to start that vlogging Anya, do it now.  I don’t think my mom will like you to vlog at the dining table, but feel free to do whatever with O and Raven after we’re done eating, if they want you to.”

Anya gave a little cheer, passing Lexa’s vlogging camera up to her, turning on her own.

Clarke ignored the bubbly feeling in her stomach, hearing Anya’s usual vlogging intro.  Gosh, it was so _weird_ to be in the car with them as Anya was doing it.

“Hey, guys!  We’re here in DC with the one and only, Miss Clarke,” Anya turned the camera up to the front of the car.  Clarke looked back, giving a shy wave, before looking back at the road.  “Lexie, are you excited for your date?”

Lexa scoffed, but smiled nonetheless as she looked back at her sister.  “Shut up,” she said, before looking over at Clarke.

“Well, are you?” Clarke joined on Anya’s teasing, giving Lexa a pointed look. 

Lexa gave a shy smile.  “I’m very excited.”

Anya put the camera back on herself, chattering away.

After a moment, Clarke looked back at Lexa, returning her shy grin.  “Me too,”

-

“So, this is home,” Clarke said, pulling up in the driveway.

Lexa gaped.  Damn, and she thought _her_ mom was well off.

Anya vocalized Lexa’s thoughts.  “Damn, girl, your house is huge.”

Clarke shrugged.  “Mom’s a surgeon, Dad’s an engineer.  Come on, I’m sure they’re ready to meet you guys.”

Anya slung her equipment back over her shoulder, and the three got out of the small car.  Clarke unlocked the door, leading them into the living space, when Octavia jumped off the couch in excitement.

“Celebrities, in the flesh, before my eyes,” Octavia said, clasping her hands together in a pseudo prayer.  “Thank you, Jesus.  It’s a Christmas miracle.”

“I thought you were Agnostic,” Bellamy joked, standing to greet the girls with his sister.

“Oh, I am.  Or, I was.  There has to be a god up there if these two divine looking women are in my own house.”

Anya shook her head at Octavia.  “Glad to know you’re just as annoying in person as you are on FaceTime,”

Octavia grinned cheekily back at her.  “You know it,” she said, shaking Anya’s hand.

Abby and Jake showed up in the living room moments after Clarke had brought them into the house.  “Alexandria, Anya,” Abby greeted them, welcoming them with open arms.  “Welcome, I’m so glad you girls could come.”

Anya awkwardly hugged Abby, patting her back, before shifting to shake Jake’s hand.  Abby then looked at Lexa.  “Oh, you _are_ a lovely girl.  Our Clarke is lucky, Jake.”

Lexa nervously tucked a curl behind her ear.  “Thank you, Mrs. Griffin,”

Abby enveloped her in a hug as well.  Lexa was surprised by the action—normally her dates’ parents were much more reserved when first meeting her.  Jake was no better, either, welcoming Lexa with a warm, fatherly hug.

Clarke felt like she was drowning in embarrassment.  “Guys,” she whined.  “Couldn’t you be like, normal parents, and just shake their hands?”

Abby shushed her daughter.  “We’re just happy for you, is all, dear.”  She called upstairs for Raven and Echo to join them.  “Girls, they’re here!”

In seconds, Echo was racing down the stairs, eager to see her sisters.  Raven trudged along behind her, slowed slightly because of the limited range of her brace, but made it after only a moment’s lag to meet the girls.

After a round of hellos had been exchanged, Abby ushered them all into the dining room.  “Please, sit!  Jake, Aurora, help me bring the food out?”

Clarke sat between Lexa and Bellamy, taking a deep breath.  She turned towards Lexa.  “Sorry they are making a big deal out of this,” she laughed, “they’re just…excited.”

Anya shrugged.  “Who cares?  I’m getting free food and probably going to hear some embarrassing stories about both you and Lexa, so I can handle meeting the family.”

Lexa quirked her eyebrows, but smiled at Clarke.  “Honestly, it’s okay, Clarke.”

Octavia cooed from across the dining table.  “You say her name so cute,”

“O,” Clarke groused, shooting her friend a look.  Raven crossed her arms, sitting next to Octavia.

“This is gonna be one fun meal,” Raven nodded.

Once the parents had returned with the food, they sat directly across from Clarke and Lexa. 

“Brunch looks lovely, Mrs. Griffin, Miss Blake.  Thank you for having us,” Lexa nodded towards the women.

“Please, dear, just call me Abby.  And this is Aurora,” Abby nodded to her left.  “And my husband, Jake.”

“She’s polite,” Aurora smiled, placing her napkin on her lap.  “I like her already.”

Lexa felt the back of her neck heating up.

“So, what are everyone’s plans for the day?”  Jake asked, but Lexa knew he was talking mainly to her.

Lexa mimicked Aurora, placing the cloth napkin over her black jeans.  “Clarke wanted to take me to the Natural History Museum,” she said, looking over at Clarke.

Clarke nodded, reaching across the table to grab for the syrup to pour over her waffles. 

Jake grinned.  “That’s her favorite,” he mentioned.

“Yes, Clarke mentioned that.”

Jake looked over at Anya.  “And what about you?  I have a feeling you don’t want to babysit your sister on a date,” he laughed.

Anya took a deep breath, shaking her head.  “I’ve had enough chaperoning her dates.  The high school days are over,” she poked fun at her sister.  “I was actually hoping you wouldn’t mind if I stayed here, with my sister and her friends.  I would love to catch up.”

Abby waved her hand dismissively.  “You girls are welcome here any time; our doors are always open for our kids and their friends.”

 “Thank you,” Anya said, before looking over at her sister.  “Echo, how do you feel about doing some videos?  Lexa and I are a couple days behind, so we need to crank some out tonight.”

Lexa frowned.  “We _are_ behind, but we don’t need to impose.”

“Oh, for your…what are they called, channels?”  Jake asked, with a laugh.  “I’m too old for these social medias.”

Lexa nodded, smiling back at Clarke’s father.  “Yeah, they’re called channels.  We each have a personal one, which is called a vlogging channel.  They’re pretty much just fifteen minute videos of our days.  I have no idea how people like to watch them,”

Clarke shrugged, biting at her lip before saying, “They’re interesting.  It’s…nice to look in and see all the happy things that go on in someone’s life.  You get to see the little dogs being played with, and the cat adoptions, and the days at the park,” she felt sort of silly for admitting it.  “Vlogs are…nice to watch.  You get to see who people are, and see how good they are.”

Abby hummed.  “And you have other ones too, right?”

Anya nodded.  “Our main one, we do together.  It’s pretty nerdy, we play games, and people watch.”

Bellamy shook his head, smiling.  “I didn’t understand it at first, either,” he said, amused by the adults’ varied faces of confusion.

“And that’s…profitable?” Aurora asked, genuinely curious.

“Yes,” Lexa explained.  “We get sponsorships, we have business partnerships.  Some games we play, we’re paid to play; every ad we show, we get a profit; every brand we mention, we get reimbursed.  It’s a successful industry, if you know what you’re doing.  All of our social media is like that.”

Clarke glanced nervously at the parents, hoping they wouldn’t think it as stupid.

She was surprised when her mother was the first to answer.  “Well, that’s great!  You’ve clearly found something you love, and it’s paying off.  You girls should be proud.  You must put hard work and lots of effort into your career to be as successful as you are.”

Lexa glanced over at Clarke.  “Would you care to be in the videos, as well, Clarke?”

Clarke’s eyes went wide.  “Really?”

Lexa blushed.  “We need all the help we can get.  This last week, we’ve had a tour every day up until today.  We haven’t had much time to film at all.”  She glanced over at Bellamy, Octavia, and Raven.  “I know Echo will want to participate, but you three are welcome to, as well.”

On instinct, Clarke looked at her mother for approval.

Abby let out a loud laugh, recognizing Clarke’s pleading eyes from when she was a child.  “You’re twenty one, Clarke, you can make your own decisions.”

Clarke chuckled.  “Oh, yeah,” she said, feeling foolish.

Lexa thought it was adorable.

The rest of brunch went by smoothly.

When ten o’clock rolled around, Clarke excused herself and Lexa from the meal.  “We should probably get going, the museum is only open until five thirty.”

“Will you girls be coming back after?”

Clarke looked at Lexa, nodding.  “Yeah, Anya brought all their filming stuff over here.  Lexa can come back and film for a bit before I take her out again.”

Jake gave his daughter a knowing smile, before standing and making his way around the table with his wife.  “You take care of Lexa, Clarke.”

The two were in the car again after a quick series of goodbyes, and Clarke let her head hit the steering wheel, honking the horn of the car with a groan.

“What?”  Lexa asked with a laugh.

“I can’t help but feel like I have the most embarrassing family,” Clarke admitted, lifting her head from the wheel.

Lexa stayed still for a moment, debating what to do.  Either she could get this show on the road and start showing just how interested she was in Clarke, or she could wait for Clarke to make the first move.

Waiting was getting too boring.

Lexa slipped her hand over Clarke’s knee.  Clarke’s eyes widened, her skin tingled at the touch.  Lexa leaned over the gear shift, the only thing separating their seats.  “I’m having a great time.  Your family is full of lovely people, Clarke.”  She murmured, debating whether or not to brush Clarke’s hair out of her eyes.  After a pause, she went for it, tucking the lock of blonde hair back.

 “So, you’re not already wanting to go running for the hills and never look back?”  Clarke asked, feeling her throat go dry.

Lexa drummed her fingers against Clarke’s kneecap, before withdrawing.  “Not yet,” she smiled, reaching for her seatbelt.  “Now, go show me some dinosaur bones, Miss Griffin.”

Clarke swallowed, trying to ignore the knot in her stomach.

Jesus, Lexa’s hand was on her leg a minute ago.

Hopefully she’d put it back there, soon.

“You going to do that date vlog?”  Clarke finally asked after a couple minutes of silence on the road.

Lexa gave Clarke a little hum.  “You sure you want to?”

Clarke nodded.  “Yeah,” she let out a little breathy laugh.

“Very well,” Lexa smirked at Clarke’s nervousness.  “You don’t have to,”

“I know.  But,” Clarke gripped at the steering wheel.  Fuck it, she needed to stop this nervousness.  Lexa was already all up on her personal space, why was she so tensed up?  The old Clarke Griffin—the high school party girl Clarke Griffin—would be rolling in her grave to not see her present self shamelessly flirting, confident in her words.  “I hear we already have a ship name.  Clexa?  Whatever it is, we have our own fandom from those Halloween pictures.”  She looked over at Lexa, lips quirked up.  “Might as well give them some new content, yeah?”

“I like your plan,” Lexa said, reaching for her small camera.

“Sorry, it may take a while to get there. DC is always backed up,” Clarke said after a moment, pulling out onto the highway.

Lexa shrugged.  “New York is the same, if not worse.  I’m used to it.”  She looked down at her camera, turning it on.  “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Clarke said, trying to keep her eyes on the road.

Lexa smirked, pointing the camera on herself.  “Good morning, you guys!  I have a special treat for you today,” she glanced over at Clarke.  “I’m here in DC with Anya for our book tour tomorrow, but I have my own lovely tour guide to show me around.”

Clarke gave another small wave similar to the one she gave Anya earlier.  She laughed, looking at Lexa momentarily.  “Hi,” she said, trying to keep her voice even.

“Clarke, where are you taking me?”  Lexa asked, keeping the shot focused on Clarke, who was intently watching the road, despite the fact that they were moving at a slow pace.

“Hopefully back home later tonight,” she teased, watching Lexa’s eyebrows raise.  “But for now, we’re just going to the Natural History Museum.”

Lexa clicked off the recording, saving it.  She gave Clarke a laugh.  “You got brazen,”

Clarke gave Lexa a cocky shrug.  “I was raised to be honest,”

So Clarke was not only adorable, and beautiful, and sweet, and concerned, but _fuck_ she could be seductive, too.

Oh, yeah.  Lexa was fucked.

-

Lexa occasionally vlogged as they went through the museum, though not very much, as there were rules about filming.  She would film mostly just Clarke, catching her rambling on about some kind of dinosaur or some deep sea creature, before Clarke noticed.  She would occasionally get in the frame as well, asking Clarke questions about what they were seeing.

Clarke had somehow managed to talk Lexa into getting her camera to film right before they reached the giant squid exhibition.

Needless to say, Clarke got a thirty second clip of a very excited Lexa, acting like a small child.

-

About two hours into their venture through the museum, Lexa eagerly tugged Clarke’s arm to go into the Egypt exhibition.  Clarke laughed, seeing her anticipation.  “You like history, huh?”

Lexa nodded.  “Especially mythology,” she admitted, hand slipping away from Clarke’s arm once they made it in.  “Something about the authority of the ancient gods, and these powerful historic and mythic leaders, and life, and death, and the afterlife, and reincarnation…I don’t know why I’m drawn to it, but I am.”

Clarke watched with adoration as Lexa went through the exhibit, awestruck. 

“Thank you,” Lexa said, once they reached the end of the exhibition. 

“What for?”

“For everything, I guess.” Lexa murmured.  “For becoming my friend.  Saying yes to this date, bringing me here.  I—I’m having a great time.”

Clarke smiled.  “Me too,” she said.  After looking down at the small space between their hands, Clarke slipped her left hand into Lexa’s right.  “I’m glad I said yes,”

Lexa squeezed at Clarke’s hand.

Neither wanted to let go.

-

By the time five o’clock rolled around, the girls knew they had to finish up soon.  They’d managed to see everything Lexa had wanted, as this was her first time coming to the Smithsonian at all, except for one.

The Hope Diamond.

It was Clarke’s favorite exhibit; that’s why she wanted to wait to see it last.

She led Lexa through the winding museum, back through some places they’d already seen, to bring her to their last stop.

To say Lexa was impressed by the gem was an understatement.

Lexa gaped at it, marveling in its beauty.

“It’s enormous,” Lexa muttered, stepping closer to see it.  By now, many of the residents had dispersed, leaving only a few other people in the room with them.  “It’s beautiful,” she said, looking over at Clarke.  Their hands were still entwined.

Clarke nodded, smiling.  “It’s my favorite part of the whole museum.  I love it.  When I was little,” Clarke laughed, feeling the embarrassment come back.  “When I was little,” she repeated, starting over, “I touched the glass, because I thought it was just like a jewelry store, and I wanted my mom to buy it for me.  I got in a lot of trouble,” she said, sighing.  “But I was two, so they weren’t too terribly mad.  My mom yelled at me for it, but,” Clarke shrugged.

Lexa grinned at the story.  She could imagine a chubby toddler Clarke, reaching out with grabby hands.  It was a cute picture.

“It _would_ look ravishing on you,” Lexa agreed, looking between the gem and Clarke’s face.  She shifted so she was closer to Clarke, looking at her, face to face.  “It would bring out the blue in your eyes.”

“You think?”  Clarke asked, taking in a small breath.

Lexa gave a little nod, eyes flicking between blue and red, blue and red.  _Clarke’s eyes, Clarke’s lips_.  With a smirk, Lexa teased, “Want me to try to buy it for you?”

Clarke hummed, glancing down at Lexa’s lips.  “Only if you’re willing to fork over $250 million,” she whispered.

Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke’s.  “You’re worth it,” she grinned, before pressing her lips softly against Clarke’s.

Clarke’s eyes fluttered shut as she leaned into the kiss.  She smiled against Lexa’s lips, bringing her hand to the small of Lexa’s back, pulling her closer.  Lexa gave a small gasp at the movement, and Clarke grinned, gliding her own lips over Lexa’s slightly parted ones.  Encouraged by the response, Lexa pushed forward slightly, making sure she stayed gentle.  She let go of Clarke’s hand, settling both of her own on Clarke’s hips, as Clarke wound her hands around Lexa’s waist.  Her camera, clipped onto the thin lanyard around her neck, pressed into their stomachs as Clarke pulled Lexa closer, but neither cared.  Lexa pulled back slightly, eyes flitting open momentarily to watch Clarke.  She smiled softly, seeing Clarke lean forward in an effort to reclaim her lips.  Lexa’s nose brushed across Clarke’s, a soft, gentle nudge, before Lexa tilted her head to the side and captured Clarke’s lips once more.

Lexa was positive she could stay there for hours, just holding Clarke like this, feeling Clarke’s fingers dip into her skin, tasting her soft lips—and then the speaker rang, announcing the museum’s closing in fifteen minutes.

Clarke was the first to pull back, a wide smile on her face.  Lexa inhaled sharply, her own lips turning upwards, seeing the look on Clarke’s face.

“We better head home,” Clarke said after a moment, unwrapping her arms from Lexa’s waist.  She already missed the feeling of Clarke’s fingers gripping at her lower back.

Lexa nodded once, her hand returning to Clarke’s.  As Clarke went to lead her out, Lexa said, “Wait,”

Clarke turned back to face her, a small smile on her lips.  “Yes?”

“I know this may be fast, but,” Lexa took a breath.  “I’ve had a lot of fun with you today.  More fun than I’ve had with anyone since,” she blinked, before saying, “since Costia.  And I don’t know after tomorrow when I’ll see you again but, if you’d like, I’d like to come back soon.”

Clarke smiled, giving Lexa’s hand a squeeze.  “Are you asking me on another date?”

Lexa nodded.  “And many more, hopefully.  I don’t—I don’t know if we’re ready to _date_ ,”

“I am,” Clarke interrupted.  “I mean, that sounded so eager.  I, um—”

Now Lexa gave Clarke a reassuring squeeze.  “You are?”

“I like you,” Clarke blurted out.  “I like you a lot, actually.  And I know we’ve only been talking, really, for a month, and only through texts and video chats but,” Clarke slowed herself down.  “I like you.”

“Really?”  Lexa asked, eyes set on Clarke’s.

“Yeah.”

“I like you too,” Lexa admitted.

“So, do you, like—”

“Want to date?”  Lexa finished.

“Yeah, that,”

Lexa smiled.  “What kind of girl do you take me for?”  She echoed Clarke’s words to her from weeks ago.  “Asking me to be official on the first date?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, pulling Lexa to her side.  “Nerd.”  She tugged Lexa out of the room, and the two made their way to the parking lot.

It was only when Clarke started the car and headed back on the highway when Lexa said, “I do,”

Clarke looked over at her.  “What?”

“I do want to date you.  I like you too much to go back home without knowing what we are.”

-

They walked back into Clarke’s house, still hand in hand, prepared to get ambushed by Anya and the others.

They were surprised when they made it upstairs, looking for everyone, without a single person even noticing they were home.  Suddenly, a loud burst of laughter came from down the hall, and Clarke rolled her eyes.  “Everyone’s probably in the media room up here.”  She led Lexa down the long hallway into the recreational room, and found that, indeed, everyone was there.

Everyone.

The media room was a mess, but even Abby, who was always nitpicking at her house and keeping it clean, didn’t care.

“Oh, good!  You two are back!”  Anya said, setting her camera down on a crudely constructed tripod.

“Girls!  How was the museum?”  Jake asked, not missing their entwined hands.

Lexa looked at Clarke, before looking back at Jake and smiling.  “Lovely.  I had a fantastic time.  Your daughter is quite the tour guide,”

“Oh, did she take you to see the Hope Diamond?”  Abby asked, clasping her hands together.  “It’s her favorite exhibit.”

Clarke ducked her head, recollecting what exactly happened at the Diamond exhibit.  “Yeah, I showed her.”

“I have to say, it might be my favorite, too,” Lexa said, pulling Clarke a little closer.

“Aw, look at them,” Bellamy teased, slinging his arm around Echo’s shoulders.  “They’re so cute.”

“Did you girls get dinner?  Are you hungry?”  Aurora asked, sitting next to Octavia on one of the couches.

“I’m alright, we ate a little while ago at the museum.”  Lexa said, nodding her thanks to the woman.

“So, uh, I’ll be the one to ask,” Bellamy said, pointing between them.  “Official or not?”

Clarke didn’t answer, but a smile graced her lips.

(It was answer enough.)

“Would you look at that,” Jake said, looking at his wife.  He held out his hand.  “Cash it in, Abbs.”

Abby sighed, shaking her head.  “I can’t believe you won.”

“Wait, what?”  Clarke asked, looking between her parents.  “You guys bet on me?  What, Mom, you think I’m not suave enough to land myself a beautiful girlfriend on the first date?”

Abby scoffed at her daughter.  “I just thought you two would wait until tomorrow, is all.  I thought Alexandria would go for the big romantic gesture of asking at the airport before she leaves tomorrow evening,”

Lexa rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand.  “That was the original plan.”

“Oh, what happened?”  Raven asked, sitting forward.

“Well,” Lexa started, feeling herself grow hot.  “The last place we stopped was the Diamond exhibit—”

Octavia interrupted, holding her hands up.  “Say no more.  I got this.”  She cleared her throat, dramatically.  “And then, you compared the blue hue of the most beautiful gemstone in the world to Clarke’s eyes, and she swooned, and you kissed her, and asked her to be your girlfriend.”

“Not far off, actually,” Lexa muttered.  “But Clarke was the one to ask.”

“That is so sweet, I may need to go get checked for cavities,” Anya spoke monotonously, but a smile played on her lips.

“She was a perfect gentlewoman,” Lexa smiled, pecking Clarke on the cheek.

“Alright, perfect then, you two, cause we need two more participants in this lovely game,” Anya said, pointing Lexa and Clarke to the couch.

“What?”  Clarke asked, noticing now that Anya had been preparing her camera. 

“Well, we _were_ going to have Bellamy and Echo do it, and put it up on _my_ channel, but I wouldn’t have been in it at all, so it wouldn’t have been as much fun for people to watch.  But now, we can put it on yours,” Anya pointed to her sister.  “Besides, these guys were huge helps today.  We got everything done except a new video for your channel and one of your gaming episodes, so,” she clapped her hands together.  “Chop chop, Lex, you’re seven hours behind on work.”

Clarke sat next to her mother, and Lexa at her side, though neither knew what was going on.  Anya handed them each the little post it packets Abby had collected earlier, and pens.

“Everyone wants us to do more challenges, so why not do the Newlywed Challenge?” Anya smirked, backing up.

“Oh, no,” Clarke muttered.  “We’ve been together all of an hour, Anya, my parents will destroy us.”

Jake high-fived his wife, without really knowing what they were going to win, just pleased that even Clarke thought they would.

“You’ve been talking for over a month, and you’ve been stalking her online since September, I think you have a shot, Clarke,” Octavia rolled her eyes.

Anya quickly explained the premise of the game to Abby and Jake, and Clarke and Lexa launched right in, both knowing what it was from watching others do it before.

Lexa waved at the camera.  “Hi, guys!  You might notice some new faces here, they’ll be joining me today for a challenge video.  Lots of you have requested Anya and I start doing some more tags and challenges, so today, my lovely girlfriend,” (Clarke smiled at the way the word sent butterflies in her stomach) “Clarke, and I will be going against her parents, Abby and Jake, in the Newlywed Challenge!”  She looked over at Anya.  “Good enough for you, coach?”  She teased.

Anya threw a hand over her heart mockingly.  “My baby, all grown up, not needing me to script her work anymore.”

“You scripted her videos?”  Clarke asked, surprised.

Lexa harrumphed.  “Only about the first three, because I was too nervous to be entertaining.  But she still won’t let it go.”

“Alright, get back to it, we don’t want to waste too much storage.”  Anya urged on.

Lexa was back to business in a moment.  “So, many of you may or may not have seen this challenge before.  Today, Clarke and I will be a team, and Abby and Jake will be the other team.  Clarke and I will ask each other questions back and forth, and same with Abby and Jake, and the team who answers the most  right and gets the most points will win!”

Clarke snorted, looking down at her bright pink post it notes.  “We’ve been together for an hour, we’re going to lose.”

Lexa nudged Clarke’s side.  “Have some faith in us,”

Anya paused the recording, giving them time to ask the first round of questions.  Lexa started, reading off her questions to Clarke as Clarke wrote them down.  Abby did the same for Jake.  Once the camera had been started up again, Lexa gestured towards Abby.  “You guys first,”

Abby asked her first question.  “Easy one, Jake, what’s my favorite season?”

Jake smiled.  “Summer,” he said, holding his note up.

She held up her post it note, showing they matched.  Anya put down a point.

Lexa turned to Clarke.  “Clarke,”

“Lexa,” Clarke replied in the same tone, earning a small smile.

“What’s my favorite color?”

Clarke held her note up.  “Red.  But your favorite color to wear is black,”

The teams went back and forth, until it was down to the last question for each.

“Okay, Abbs, hard one.  When I was sixteen, we met for the first time in the ice rink.  You lied and said you liked my cologne, but later on you admitted you hated it when I started wearing it all the time.  What cologne was it?

Abby shrugged.  “Guess on this one,” she said, holding up her card.

Jake laughed.  “Ralph Lauren?  Really?”  He held up his own, showing they had different answers.

“Last question!” Anya said.

Clarke interrupted.  “What’s the score?  I think we’ve managed to stay close to these old lugs who’ve been together since the dinosaur age.”

Abby frowned at her daughter’s attempt at humor.  “I’m not _that_ old, Clarke.”

“Besides,” Jake butted in, a grin on his face.  “I don’t think it counts much as keeping up when you’ve been asking the ‘what’s your favorite’ questions back and forth while your mother and I have actually asked hard ones.”

“Oh, shh,” Clarke shushed them, laughing.  “Okay, okay, fair enough.  I’ll ask a sort of harder one.”  Lexa smiled, feeling Clarke reach for her hand on the sofa.  “When we were at the museum today, I told you how much the Hope Diamond was worth.  You said I was worth every penny,” her cheeks heated up.  “How much did I say it was worth?”

“Hey, that’s not a question about _you_ ,” Lexa whined.

Clarke shrugged.  “Dad is kind of right, we have been asking pretty primary school questions the whole time.”

Lexa flushed.  “You were so close you were almost kissing me, I was a little too distracted by that possibility to focus on the monetary value of a gemstone, Clarke.”

In the background, Raven cooed.  “You guys are sweet!”  She called out.

“Well?”

“Three hundred million?”  Lexa guessed, and Clarke laughed.

“Close, two fifty.”  Clarke said, smiling wide.

“Well, you’re _definitely_ worth more than that,” Lexa said, leaning forward to peck Clarke’s lips once.

It caught Abby off guard, but she quickly smiled.  “Oh, they _are_ sweet,” Abby agreed with Raven’s comment.

Lexa looked at Anya, behind the camera.  “Well?  Final score?”

“Jake and Abby are eight out of ten, and you and Clarke were…six out of ten,”  Anya laughed.

“Hey!  We just started dating today,” Clarke said, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s torso.  “We did damn well for that.”

Echo walked in the room, carrying two large plates filled with whipped cream.  No one, besides Anya, had even noticed that she left.  “Losers get creamed!”

Lexa’s smile dropped off of her face.  “No!  I still have to take Clarke out again, I’ll have to do my makeup all over,”

Echo handed Abby and Jake the paper plates.  “Go for it!”

Jake grinned eagerly, slapping the plate into his daughter’s face without hesitation or remorse.  Slowly, he circled it around her face, rubbing it in.  Clarke sputtered when he pulled away, swiping at her eyes.  “Fucking,” she muttered, licking her lips.  “At least it tastes good.”

Abby held the plate in her hand.  “Oh, do I have to?  Lexa’s so sweet, I don’t want to,”

Jake took the plate from his wife, smashing it in Lexa’s face in an instant.  Lexa let it fall into her lap, laughing.

“Jacob!”  Abby said, crossing her arms.  “Is that any way to treat your daughter’s new girlfriend?”

“What?  She lost, rules are rules,” he said cheekily, as Lexa tried wiping it out of her eyes.

“He’s right,” Lexa sighed, shaking her head.  “I’ve been subjected to worse than this for losing a challenge, Abby, no need to worry.”

Clarke looked over at Lexa, and instantly laughed, seeing her sporting a very festive white beard of whipped cream.

Lexa pouted.  “Oh, great, laugh at me.”

“You look cute,” Clarke said, gripping the underneath of Lexa’s chin.  She leaned over, pecking her quickly.  “But I think we need to get your sisters all messy, too, since they forced us to play this game,”

Anya was out the room in an instant, camera in hand.  “You can’t touch me, you’ll get the equipment sticky!”

-

After Octavia lent Lexa some clothes, and Raven had helped her reapply her makeup, Lexa leaned on Clarke’s doorframe, arms crossed, waiting for her to finish.

Clarke held up her forefinger as she swiped the last bit of eyeliner across her lid, capping the liquid substance back up.  “All done.  Sorry, I wasn’t planning on us getting out so late, but—whipped cream in the hair doesn’t do it for me.”

“No worries,” Lexa smiled.  Clarke met her at the doorway, looping her arm through Lexa’s. 

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Clarke said, walking Lexa down the hallway to the grand staircase. 

“Yeah?”

“Would you prefer me to show you some of the sights at night instead of getting a drink?”  Clarke asked.  “We can grab a drink anytime, but the World War II memorial fountains and the reflection pool at night are just,” she shrugged.  “They’re prettier at night than in the day.”

Lexa smiled.  “Sounds like a plan, tour guide,”

Clarke smiled.  “The Lincoln Memorial is also prettier at night.  All lit up.  It’s a bit of walking, are your shoes okay?”

Lexa nodded, content in the boots she’d chosen.  “Yeah.  How cold is it?”

Clarke laughed.  “Chilly.  But O’s scarf and gloves will be fine with your coat.”

Clarke opened the front door for Lexa, making sure to lock it behind her.

As they drove off, Lexa was amazed even by the highway at night.  It, too, was lit up, beautiful.  “You people don’t go halfway on making the city look nice.”

“Well, of course not, Obama’s here.  Gotta impress,” Clarke said, smiling.  She looked over, seeing Lexa film a little.  “Are you vlogging?”

Lexa blushed.  “Is that okay?”

Clarke nodded.  “Yeah,” she laughed.  “I just didn’t even realize, and here I was, rattling on for the last ten minutes.”

“You’re cute when you rattle on, don’t worry.”

Lexa made sure to get quick shots of every monument they visited, and separate ones with Clarke in them.  She knew this DC vlog she’d promised her viewers would be good, but she was starting to wonder if they’d get sick of Clarke, by how much she was in it.

(But Lexa knew she’d never get sick of Clarke.)

She got shots in of the Lincoln Memorial, and of Clarke rambling on about its history, knowing much from living here and visiting often in her life.

She got a particularly funny shot of Clarke at the Reflection Pool, as Clarke sat on the edge and almost fell in, before catching herself, cheeks red from a mixture of embarrassment and the cold weather.

She got lots of shots of Clarke holding her hand, just leading her around DC, talking about some other historical fact or other.

When they reached the World War II fountains, Lexa got a quick shot in of the fountains all lit up, before shutting her camera off.  “This one’s the prettiest, I have to say.”  She mentioned, grabbing Clarke’s mitten-covered hand with her glove-covered one.  She tucked both of their hands in the pocket of her coat.

“My grandpa was in the war,” Lexa mentioned after some silence passed.  Clarke looked over at Lexa.

“This isn’t going to be a sad story, is it?”

Lexa gave a little laugh.  “No.  He came home, got medals for his bravery.  It was a happy ending.”

“Good.  My grandpa was, too.  Frederick, the one you talked to on Thanksgiving.  He lost an arm, has a prosthetic now.  He _loves_ to brag about it,” Clarke rolled her eyes.  “It’ll probably be one of the first things he says to you when he really meets you.”  Clarke cleared her throat, ready for an impersonation of her grandfather.  “ _Lexa!  Yes, I remember you, the one who made my son’s sisters-in-law cry at Thanksgiving.  Well done, lassie!  Now, do you want to hear the story of how I got me my prosthetic?  It all started back on D-Day_ ,” Clarke rolled her eyes.  “He wasn’t even _there_ on D-Day.  He likes to embellish to make himself look better.  Then he’ll start talking about punching Hitler in the face, which he most _certainly_ did not do,”

Lexa smiled, listening to her go on.

She was becoming enamored with Clarke, and very fast.

The little things about Clarke captured her attention.

The way she could go on for hours about the history of her home, the way she spoke with passion about her family, the way she recalled funny stories and told them, the way she twirled her hair when she got flustered, the way she could switch from a suave seductress into a bumbling idiot, the way she smiled, the way she bit her lip, the way she looked at Lexa—

Lexa was falling for Clarke.

She cut Clarke off in the middle of a different story about her grandfather that she hadn’t even particularly starting to listening to, pulling her hands away from Clarke’s and cradling her face.

Clarke’s story dropped off, as she looked up at Lexa.  “Lex?” She asked, tilting her head.

Lexa swooped down, catching Clarke’s lips between her own.  She nibbled at Clarke’s bottom lip, pressing against Clarke rougher than she had before.  Clarke let out a quiet moan, reaching for Lexa’s hips, pulling her closer.  She opened her mouth, giving Lexa the access she wanted, and was surprised to find an instant later, the feeling of Lexa’s hot tongue against her own. 

Clarke’s hands went up Lexa’s back.  She was surprised to feel such an aggressive kiss coming from Lexa, who had been all soft and sweet all day, but _fuck_ she loved it.  A particularly brisk gust of wind blew, reminding Clarke of where they were.  She pulled back, seeing Lexa’s flushed face only inches from her own.  “Do you want me to drive back to the hotel?”

“God, yes,” Lexa muttered, hands still cradling Clarke’s face as if she were a porcelain doll, ready to break.

“Maybe we can order room service and you can still get your liquid courage in,” Clarke teased, pulling further away from Lexa. 

They made quick work of getting back to the car, Lexa punching in the directions to her hotel on her phone.  The voice instructed Clarke where to go, but it was hard for the blonde to concentrate on driving at all, when Lexa’s hand was on her thigh and, oh god, she didn’t want to crash the car.

They made it to the hotel in minutes, trying not to make it look too obvious why they were rushing through the lobby and to the elevator.

(They were failing.  They _knew_ they were failing.  They really could not have cared less.)

As soon as the door shut close and Lexa pressed her floor button, she turned, pinning Clarke against the elevator wall and kissing down her jaw.  Clarke let her head fall back against the metal wall, eyes fluttering closed, loving the feeling of Lexa’s hot mouth on her cold skin.  “I totally pegged you as a bottom,” Clarke moaned out, fingers gripping Lexa’s hipbones hard.

Lexa smiled against Clarke’s skin.  “It depends on the night.  I like to think I’m rather versatile.”

The telltale elevator ring sounded, alerting the girls that the doors would open momentarily.  Lexa pulled back from Clarke, digging through her purse, and pulled out her keycard as the two stepped out of the elevator.  “My room’s down the hall on the left, 217,” she said, tugging Clarke as the two nearly ran down the carpeted hallway.  Lexa shoved the keycard in the slot, seeing it light up green, and opened the door quickly for Clarke, letting her enter.

Clarke wasted no time once Lexa had locked the door.  She tugged at Lexa’s scarf, pulling it overhead and tossing it on the floor.  The two stumbled down the small entry way, ridding each other of bulky winter coats, of gloves and hats and scarves, kicking boots off.  With Clarke’s arms wrapped around Lexa’s middle, the two fell on the bed, Clarke kissing up Lexa’s neck.  “Can I?” Clarke asked, tugging at the bottom of Lexa’s shirt.  Lexa nodded, letting out a small noise of pleasure, as Clarke’s fingers went underneath her shirt, dancing along rapidly heating skin.  Clarke pulled the thin material overhead, tossing it aside, paying no attention to where it landed. 

Her eyes locked on Lexa’s chest, seeing the woman beneath her panting, chest rapidly rising and falling.  Clarke smirked, running her fingers over the sides of the gray material covering Lexa’s chest.  Her chest was certainly smaller than Clarke’s, but full, and the bra was rather plain, but it did wonders for Lexa’s cleavage and nothing in the world looked more beautiful to Clarke in this moment than a topless Lexa.

Lexa’s hands dug in at Clarke’s jeans.  “Damn Echo,” Lexa grunted, “getting us all covered in whipped cream.  That dress was easy access,”

Clarke chuckled, hands going from Lexa’s ribs to her own jeans, unbuttoning them.  Lexa picked up her work, tugging them down Clarke’s thighs as Clarke pulled her own sweater overhead.

“Oh, fuck,” Lexa panted, seeing the sheer bra Clarke wore.  Her hands flew up to Clarke’s chest, cupping her breasts, running fingers along the see through material.

“Good choice?” Clarke hummed, amused at Lexa’s reaction.

Lexa licked at her dry lips.  “Fantastic choice,”

“Thank Raven,” Clarke whispered, leaning down to catch Lexa’s lips once more as she finally kicked the hard material of her jeans off her legs.

Lexa’s hands wove themselves into Clarke’s hair as she leaned up to kiss her.  She gripped golden hair lightly, bringing Clarke’s face down to meet her.  Lexa let out a moan, feeling Clarke detach her lips from her own, biting at the sensitive skin along Lexa’s neck.  Lexa all but melted into a pool of pleasure, feeling the wicked things Clarke could do with her mouth.  It held great promise for later.

Impatient and not wanting to be the only one naked, Clarke tugged at the leggings Octavia let Lexa borrow.  She pulled them down in a hurry, tossing them off the edge of the bed, rising so that her knees were on either side of Lexa’s body.  Lexa scooted further up the bed so her legs weren’t dangling off, and Clarke crawled over her to move with her, and _god_ it was the sexiest thing Lexa had ever seen.

Lexa looked up at Clarke, her mouth going dry.  This girl was going to kill her.

“Clarke, are you sure?”  She asked, voice gravelly and thick.

Clarke nodded.  “Are you?”

Lexa smiled, “Yeah.”

Clarke bent down, kissing her much softer, much slower than before.

-

Lexa woke in the morning to a few missed calls from her sister.

Finally answering on the fourth call, groggily, she said, “Hello?”

_“And she finally gets her ass up.”_

“Morning,” she yawned, ignoring the patronizing tone her sister was giving her.  “Sleep well?”

_“Yeah, I slept well in your girlfriend’s bed, because you two obviously couldn’t wait to jump each other long enough to come get me.”_

Lexa smiled.  “Oh, yeah.  We forgot to bring you home.”

“ _You think?  Anyway, I’ll let Jake and Abby know you guys are okay.  Don’t get too caught up in your morning sex to forget we have a tour in six hours.”_

“Will do.  Bye.”  Lexa hung up the phone, not letting her sister say anymore.

Clarke stirred at her side.  She rolled over to face Lexa, a sleepy smile on her lips.  “Hi,” she muttered.

“Hi,” Lexa whispered back.

“Who was that?”

“Anya, making sure we’re okay.”

In an instant, Clarke was up, shaking her head.  “I totally forgot about my parents, they must be worried,” she reached over Lexa’s body for her phone which had been tossed haphazardly over there at some point in the night.  She groaned, seeing the several messages from her parents, questioning if she was okay.  She quickly texted her dad a message, before setting the phone back down.

“You’d think,” Clarke started, cheeks tingeing pink, “two parents would know that if their twenty one year old daughter didn’t come home after going on a date, that she was out having sex, and they shouldn’t leave so many messages.”

“Parents will always assume the worst and worry,” Lexa said, pulling Clarke to her.

Clarke sighed, leaning in to Lexa’s warm hug. 

The feeling of Lexa’s smooth skin against her own sent her body blazing, heating up at the thought of Lexa holding her so intimately.

She loved this feeling.

The sun was bright in the sky, but neither girl minded as they held each other close and drifted back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the fluffiness of this chapter just made it feel awkward to paint out them having hot, wild sex after being so damn cute, so use your imagination ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! I really didn't edit this, it's midnight here and I'm tired.
> 
> Merry Christmas everyone!
> 
> Come talk to me at aihedas.tumblr.com, i changed my username back to a 100-centric one!! WHO'S PUMPED FOR LEXA SCREENTIME???


	10. The One With the Book Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia asks the big question; Bellamy "can be your hero, baby"; Clarke and Lexa talk about their pasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been forever!  
> This chapter is very dialogue-happy. Hope you enjoy!  
> TW for mentions of rape, physical abuse, and emotional abuse.

In retrospect, ignoring the alarm she’d set in favor of ten more minutes of snuggling with Clarke probably wasn’t the best idea when she had a tour in two hours, but it _was_ kind of too adorable to pass on hearing Clarke’s adorable snores.  Clarke’s skin was warm against her own, inviting her to just close her eyes, fall back asleep…but the damn alarm went off again after another ten, peaceful minutes of laying still with their legs entangled.

Lexa sighed, pulling away from Clarke, who still slept peacefully.  She glared at her phone, as if giving it such a dirty look would silence it, before reaching over and pressing repeatedly on the lock button to shut it up.  With a small groan, Lexa sat up, cracking her back as the sheets fell off her chest.  She shook her head, amused, watching as Clarke drooled a little on the pillow; it didn’t look like even nuclear warfare could wake Clarke.

As soon as Lexa stepped out of bed, she regretted it.  The cold December air still managed to seep its way into the hotel room, despite the fact that the heating was on.  She shivered, wrapping her arms around her naked body, making her way across the floor as quietly as she could to not wake Clarke.  She slipped into the bathroom silently, closing the door with a soft click.  She reached at her hair, running her hand through the tangled mess, catching sight of herself in the small vanity.  She grimaced, seeing the variety of angry purple marks across her skin; Anya was certainly going to give her hell if she couldn’t cover them up for the tour.  She poked lightly at a particularly sore spot, a rather large bruise on the side of her throat, wincing at the pain.  “Damn, Clarke,” she murmured, surprised by how many little love bites were peppered from her chest up to her jaw.  She stood at the vanity, making quick work of brushing her teeth, before leaning over the edge of the tub and starting a semi-warm shower.  She stepped in, resolving to wash her hair quickly, shivering at the horrible water pressure the hotel had.

Minutes later in the room, Clarke finally woke up, hearing a loud thud as Lexa dropped something in the shower, followed by a quick “Fuck!”

Clarke rubbed at her head, giving a big yawn.  She reached blindly for her phone, checking the time before sitting upright.  She was _exhausted_.   Her mouth felt gross—she sighed, realizing the feeling was due to the drool on her pillow.  “Oh, nasty,” Clarke groaned.  “I’m sure Lexa found that _super_ hot, way to go, Clarke.”

She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, muttering to herself for a minute before deciding she’d better get up and moving before she fell back asleep.  She stood, ignoring the chill that swept through her, cracking her neck.  She was _sore_ from one night of sex.  “Christ, I need to do some aerobics or something,” she groaned, satisfied with the way her neck gave a little _pop!_   She made a face at the taste in her mouth; blindly, she bent down at the edge of the bed where her purse had fallen sometime the night before, searching inside for her little tin of mints before popping a whole handful of altoids in her mouth.  She sat back in bed, staring at the wall, listening to the steady sound of the shower.  She made quick work of chewing the mints, scrunching her nose at the intensity of the minty flavor.

Unknowing that Clarke was awake, Lexa began to sing a little tune in the shower, bouncing happily on the balls of her feet as she shampooed her hair.  Clarke smiled, hearing something akin to nineties pop coming from the bathroom, and stealthily made her way across the room, pressing her ear up against the wooden door, when—

 “ _Tell me why, ain’t nothing but a heartache!  Tell me why, ain’t nothing but a mistake!—_ ”

—yeah, Lexa was definitely singing the Backstreet Boys.

Clarke grinned to herself, amused at the off-key tune coming from the other side of the door.  She turned the knob slowly, careful to not make a noise, pushing it open ever so quietly, hearing Lexa’s singing get louder.

“—I never wanna hear you say—” Clarke joined in the chorus, before hearing the startled yelp that came from the other side of the shower curtain.

Lexa swatted at the curtain, pulling it open.  Clarke laughed, seeing the startled look on the soaking girl in front of her.  “You scared the hell out of me!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Clarke said, hand coming to her mouth in effort to stop her laughing.  “Your singing sounded so cute, I couldn’t resist.”

 “Well, show’s over.  I don’t perform for an audience.”  Lexa huffed, pulling the shower curtain closed once more. 

“Aw, come on!  You sounded cute,” Clarke insisted, stepping closer to the shower.

Lexa grumbled something about being embarrassed, before the shower curtain was pushed open and Clarke stepped in behind her.  Lexa turned, eyes wide, saying, “What’re you—”

Clarke pushed her back up against the tile, smiling softly.  “I liked hearing you sing.  Your voice is cute.”

Lexa blushed, swallowing.  “I always sing off key—”

Clarke shrugged.  “So do I,” she said, pressing a soft kiss against Lexa’s lips.  Lexa barely had time to react, feeling Clarke’s lips leave as quickly as they came.  “This water is freezing,” she said, reaching for the handle behind Lexa’s body, pulling it all the way to the side.  “How about we get a little _steamy_ ,” she grinned, giving Lexa a small wink.

Lexa couldn’t help the wide smile that came across her face.  “That was awful,”

“Oh, come on, it was pretty good,” Clarke said, feeling the water hitting her back heat up.  “Nobody can resist a good pun.”

Lexa hummed, eyes fluttering shut as Clarke ran her hands up her sides.  Clarke’s hands stopped at the sides of Lexa’s chest, fingers dipping into the soft flesh of Lexa’s breasts.  “Clarke, we really don’t have time,” she breathed, trying to ignore the way Clarke slipped a thigh between her own.

“I don’t know, I got you off pretty quickly last night, I’m sure I could do it again,” Clarke bragged, pressing a soft kiss to Lexa’s shoulder.

Lexa shuddered, feeling the way Clarke moved her leg ever so slightly, brushing up against Lexa’s center.  “I—I need to be dressed and ready in an hour, Anya will flip if—if I’m not ready by then,”

“You can be a couple minutes late,” Clarke said, looking at Lexa.

“You’re a bad influence,” Lexa gulped, eyes focused on Clarke’s lips.

“Perhaps.”

Lexa let out a shaky breath, unable to resist the urge to grind her hips down against Clarke’s thigh.  Clarke smiled, lips going to Lexa’s neck, pressing softly against the bruises she’d left the night before.  She pushed her leg up higher, meeting the frantic jerks of Lexa’s hips.  Clarke’s hands gripped the sides of Lexa’s breasts, kneading the soft skin gently.  Lexa’s mouth fell open, a hot, heavy pant coming as her head fell back against the white tile of the shower.   “Clarke,” she groaned, the steam from the shower muddling her thoughts.

Clarke grinned against Lexa’s skin.  One hand slipped down from Lexa’s chest, joining Clarke’s thigh.  Lexa’s breath hitched, feeling Clarke’s fingers against her skin.  Two fingers pressed softly at Lexa’s skin, earning a delightful moan from Lexa.  In a matter of minutes, Lexa was putty under Clarke’s fingers, body going slack as she huffed out a last, long breath, the haze of euphoria spilling over.

“Told you,” Clarke said, pressing a kiss at the juncture of Lexa’s neck.  “I can work fast.”

Lexa grunted a response, unable to formulate a coherent string of words.

Clarke grinned, reaching for the shampoo.  She handed it to Lexa saying, “Well, let’s get moving, I don’t want to make you _too_ late.  Wash my hair?”

A soft smile played at Lexa’s lips.  “We’re getting awfully domestic here, Clarke,”

“I—didn’t realize.  Is that scaring you?”  Clarke asked, taking a step back with a concerned look.

“Maybe a little,” Lexa shrugged, before taking the shampoo bottle from Clarke’s hands.  “But we’ve already established our relationship as girlfriends after twelve hours together, so,” she teased, pecking a quick kiss against Clarke’s lips.  “Let me wash your hair, then.”

Lexa’s heart melted at the way Clarke looked at her.

Clarke turned, so she was facing away from Lexa.  Lexa squeezed a dollop of shampoo in her hands, before rubbing it into Clarke’s hair.  Clarke let her neck crane backwards, leaning into Lexa’s touch.  Lexa hummed softly, her dull nails gently scraping against Clarke’s scalp.

Unable to resist, Clarke said, “So, Backstreet Boys, huh?”

Lexa gave a small grunt.  “I’m not a fan, if you’re wondering.”

“Pssh.  You’re definitely a fan.”

“Hey, it’s just a song everybody knows!”

Clarke let out a little chuckle.  “I was always more of an NSYNC girl, myself.”

Lexa’s hands stopped her ministrations.  “Get out of my shower.”

Clarke turned, a glint in her eye.  “Not a Backstreet Boys fan, huh?  If you aren’t, why would you be getting so worked up over my being a die-hard NSYNC fan, huh, Lexa?”

Lexa shot Clarke a glare.  “Fine, I’ve been a Backstreet Boys fan for as long as I can remember, and quite frankly, I’m appalled that you would like NSYNC better than the best boy band to ever exist.”

Clarke pressed a quick peck to Lexa’s lips.  “Kidding.  I’ve always been more of a Backstreet Boys fan, really.”

“Good, I thought I was going to have break a personal record and dump you after half a day, for a moment.” Lexa huffed, but gave a small smile.  “Now, turn around!  I need to rinse the suds out.”

Clarke obeyed, turning so she was facing away from Lexa.  Lexa stepped back, pulling Clarke into the steady stream of water, letting the white suds rinse out of golden hair.

“So, what would you do if I started singing NSYNC right now?”

“…I’d break up with you.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“Neither is annoying your girlfriend who doesn’t like NSYNC by singing their songs.”

Clarke’s stomach flipped.  _Girlfriend_.

“ _Bye Bye Bye_ is a good song, though; even a Backstreet Boy fan has to admit.”

Lexa hummed.  “It’s decent, I suppose.”

“Decent?”

“Fine, it’s a great song.  But!  It’s the only good song from those…second bests.”

“But, if I remember correctly...Britney is your favorite?”

Lexa tilted her head, unsure where this was going.  “Yes?  But of the boy bands—”

Clarke rolled her eyes, stepping away from the spray of the shower.  Her eyes locked on Lexa’s once more, a smirk playing at the corners of her lips.

“What’s that look for?”  Lexa asked, narrowing her eyebrows.

“Did you have a thing for Britney in her schoolgirl outfit, Lexa?”

Lexa swallowed.  “What?”

“You know, Britney in her _Baby One More Time_ video.”

Lexa felt her cheeks heat up.

(Five minutes later, Clarke stepped out of the shower with a very clean, very _flustered_ Lexa behind her.

“You alright there, Lex?”  Clarke teased, seeing Lexa’s bright red face.

“You’re not allowed to ever sing that song again.”

“And why’s that?”  Clarke asked, reaching for a towel hanging on the rack.  She handed it to Lexa, before wrapping a towel around her own body.

“I…don’t think I can hear that song again without thinking about you…grinding on me in the shower.”

“Oh, then I’ll most definitely be singing that song again.”

“That isn’t fair.  You can’t just…do _that_ in the shower and leave me hanging.”

“You’re the one who told me to stop fooling around, Lexa.”

“I’m regretting that decision very much right now.”)

* * *

“I tried covering them up!”

Clarke shrunk back in her chair, staying quiet as she watched Lexa’s makeup artist attempt to cover up the bite marks she’d left on Lexa’s skin.  “These are quite large,” the woman remarked, shooting a glare over her shoulder at Clarke.  “But with come color corrector, I’ll be able to make them less noticeable.”

“Sorry about this, Tris,” Lexa said.

Tris rolled her eyes.  “This was not what I thought I’d be doing when I took this job, you know, but you’re paying me, so bruise your skin all you want.”

After an initial grunt of amusement, Anya tousled her sister’s hair with a smile.  “Those look painful, kiddo.”  She shot a wink at Clarke.

Clarke gave a little shrug, a nervous smile on her lips. “Oops?”

“I think the damage I did to your back with my nails is payment enough for this,” Lexa teased, pointing at her neck.  “But yes,” she grimaced, “this is not comfortable.”

A knock at the dressing room door interrupted the conversation.  A man stood outside, poking his head in the door.  “Uh, Lexa?  Anya?  There is a rather…rambunctious girl out here demanding that we let her in.  Do you know an Octavia?”

“Oh!  She’s my friend,” Clarke said, cheeks going red.  “Sorry if she’s causing trouble.”

The man’s eyebrow rose, giving Clarke a judgmental look.  “She is.” He spoke bluntly.

Lexa laughed.  “She and the others with her can come in,”

A moment later, Octavia stormed through the door, huffing at the man who went to go fetch them.  “See?  I told you we could come in, but no,” she held up her VIP pass.  “Even _this_ wasn’t enough to be let in,”

Bellamy shoved his sister in the room, apologizing for her delinquency.  “She tried fighting the staff,” he ratted her out.

Anya rolled her eyes, shaking her head.  “Of course she did.”

“I could’ve taken them all!”  Octavia huffed, crossing her arms.

Echo and Raven followed Bellamy in, shutting the door behind them. 

“No doubt about it,” Raven agreed, mocking Octavia by imitating her.

 “Hey, nice sweater, Clarke.  I remember buying it for Lexa’s birthday,” Echo teased as she walked up next to Clarke.

Clarke felt her face flush.  She cleared her throat.  “Yes, well, I figured borrowing a shirt of Lexa’s was better than doing the walk of shame to her book signing.”

“Already wearing each other’s clothes?”  Raven joined on the teasing, poking Clarke’s side.  “So, which one of you is changing your last name?  Or are you hyphenating?”

Clarke gave a flustered smile.  “Guys,” she let out a small whine.

Bellamy joined in, saying, “I think Clarke Woods sounds kind of cute.”

“Please, Lexa Griffin sounds cuter than Clarke Woods.” Echo shot back.

“Personally, I like Griffin-Woods,” Octavia shrugged, shooting Clarke a grin. 

“Woods-Griffin,” Anya said.  “Sounds good to me,”

“Why don’t you guys start picking out our kid’s names, while you’re at it?” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Y’know, I always thought you looked sort of like an Elizabeth.  Or an Eliza.  Maybe you two can name your daughter that,” Octavia said.

“What if they have a boy?”  Echo asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Bellamy has always been a dashing name,” Bellamy said, giving his girlfriend a nudge. 

“First of all, I’m not naming my kids after any of you,” Clarke said, giving them all a pointed look.  “And second, I was joking.  Lexa and I have been together for less than a day!  I don’t think kids are anywhere near the table, let alone on it.”

Lexa’s face was bright red.  “Well, this is not how I imagined the morning going.”  She spoke, everyone’s attention landing on her.

“Oh, god,” Octavia said, catching sight of Lexa’s marked neck.  She let out a low whistle.  “Good call on the underwear, Raven, looks like it worked.”

Raven burst out laughing.  “Jesus, Clarke, you mauled her!”

“At least we know the sex was adequate,” Echo teased her sister.

“Yeah, everything about Lexa’s neck just screams ‘just alright’ sex.”  Octavia said, crossing her arms.  “She looks like an octopus attached to her neck over night.”

“Who knew Clarke Griffin had a thing for biting?”  Bellamy joked, smirking at Clarke.

Clarke groaned, burying her face in her hands.

“Well, I certainly do now.”  Lexa said, a faint smile on her lips.

“You guys are gross,” Echo said, pointing between the two.  “You’ve been gross about each other for months, but now it’s official.  You are a gross couple.”

“Thank you, Echo, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Clarke shook her head in her hands. 

* * *

Clarke scrolled through her Twitter feed as she waited in the long line, book tucked under her arm.  Surely, she could’ve walked up to the start of the line, being Lexa’s girlfriend and all, but she’d rather not draw attention to herself.  It was Lexa and Anya’s day, after all.

Octavia tapped Clarke’s shoulder.  Clarke turned slightly, looking at her friend.  “You know, you’ve kind of had your tongue down Lexa’s throat, why exactly are we waiting in this long ass line to get her autograph?”

“It’s the experience, O.  This is exactly what we would’ve been doing if Lexa and I hadn’t met.”

Octavia groaned. “But you _have_ , and you’ve had _sex_ —”

“Octavia!”  Clarke hushed her.  Her eyes darted to the side, checking to see if anyone heard.  “Don’t scream it to the world.  I don’t know if she wants people to know yet.”

“Well, she’ll be posting those videos with all of us anyway,” Octavia said.  “It’s not like people won’t find out sooner or later.”

“Yeah, well,” Clarke shrugged, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.  “It’s Lexa’s public life online, she can decide what she wants to keep private.”

“Yeah,” Octavia said, “but it’s also going to be your life, too, Clarke,” she reminded her.  “You’re going to be the girlfriend of a super famous person soon, you know.  She’s known already, I mean, look how many people came!”  Clarke hummed, glancing around the room.  It was full of people; the line even extended well out of the event room and wove through the hotel lobby.  “She’s a YouTuber, a big one, you know.  She’s getting up there with, like, Zoe Sugg and shit.  She has, what, three million subscribers now?  And that’s just _her_ channel.  Anya has, like, just as much, and their gaming channel hit seven million last week!  And she’s an author, a well-known one.  People who don’t even watch her channel are here because she’s a damn _good_ one.  I hate reading and I even thought this shit was good.  She works with BuzzFeed, she’s been on Jimmy Kimmel, Clarke, I mean,” Octavia sighed.  “Clarke, I’m really happy for you, I am.  Lexa’s wonderful and sweet and you are so cute together, but I don’t think you realize how _public_ this all will be.”

Clarke paused, staring at Octavia.  The words processed; had she really thought about it?  Being alone with Lexa was intimate.  It was friendly.  It felt natural.  Calling her, skyping her, texting her; it all felt right.  She really hadn’t even put a second thought to the whole _fame_ thing after she started getting to know Lexa.  She was just another normal girl.  She turned back forward, watching as Lexa signed a fan’s book and took a quick selfie with them, before they moved on to Anya to do the same.  All these people were here for _her_.

“I didn’t…” Clarke said, eyebrows raising as she realized exactly what Octavia was saying.

Octavia rested a hand on Clarke’s back, stepping from behind her to her side.  “I mean,” Octavia shrugged, “I thought you knew, you know?  Because you watched her influence over people grow.  That’s why you developed your little crush on her, right?  Because she’s making a difference.”

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded quickly.  “Yeah, I guess…I don’t know, Octavia, I looked at her totally different than I do now.”  Clarke said, glancing over at her friend.  “When I didn’t talk to her, when I just watched her videos, you know, I felt like she was some…otherworldly person.  But then I got to know her, and she’s just…just Lexa,”

“She’s not ‘just Lexa’ to everyone else here, Clarke.”  Octavia spoke gently.  “She’s an inspiration.  She might be the people some of these kids are _alive_ here, Clarke.  She’s a celebrity to them, and celebrities don’t get a lot of privacy.  I mean…I thought you kind of figured that.”

“I did.”  Clarke said, taking a breath.  “You’re right.  I mean, her fame is kind of why I even heard about her.  I just…I guess I just forgot.  It just feels like us when we’re together.”

Octavia gave Clarke a smile.  “That’s good, I’m not saying that it isn’t.  I just,” she shrugged, “want to make sure you really realize what you’re getting into.  The way you first thought about her, as some cool YouTuber, as a celebrity, as someone helping other people, someone known online….that’s how other people will always see her.  She’s not going to be out of the public eye for a while, and I just want to make sure you’re okay with that.”

Clarke nodded, but stayed silent. 

Lexa looked up from her table, catching Clarke’s eye.  She smiled, sending a little wave.  Clarke smiled back, returning the wave; Octavia took this as a good sign, pulling her hand off of Clarke’s back and gazing down at her phone.

After a while of standing in the slow-moving line, Clarke spoke.  “I need to go outside.”

Octavia frowned.  “Are you getting claustrophobic?”  She asked, concerned.

“Yeah, something like that.” Clarke muttered, stepping under the ropes that made the line. 

“Okay, well, I think we’ll be up soon!  I’ll hold your spot,” Octavia said, giving Clarke a thumbs up.

Clarke nodded, “Yeah, thanks.”  Hastily, she wove her way through the crowds of people, trying with little success to navigate through the winding lines without bumping into people. “Sorry, ‘scuse me,” she mumbled, eyes locked on the door to leave.

Lexa noticed her departure from the line and frowned.  She looked to her side, muttering to her sister, “Is Clarke alright?”

Anya shrugged, eyes straining over the crowd to find Clarke.  “Where is she?”

“She’s leaving,” Lexa said.

Anya rested her hand on her sister’s.  “She probably needs to go to the bathroom or something, Lex.”

Lexa’s eyes narrowed, watching as Clarke finally made it to the double doors.  She all but flung herself out of them, speedily walking from the room.  “Maybe,” she said, shaking her head.

“Hey, Lex, you’ve got a fan,” Anya reminded her sister.

Lexa snapped back to the task at hand.  She looked forward, giving the young girl a smile.  “Sorry about that.  How are you?”

Outside, Clarke was shivering.  Her coat was still upstairs in Lexa’s room, but she didn’t have a key; standing in the east coast winter in just a sweater and jeans was not the best idea, but she needed to be out of there.

Octavia had a point.

Was she okay with what would come with their relationship?

It was beginning to worry her.

At first, she’d all but praised the ground Lexa walked on.  She constantly watched the videos she posted, the Periscopes she took part in, the partnership videos and interviews and articles she’d written and acted in.  She was a _fan_ in the beginning, and all of the sudden, she was Lexa’s girlfriend.

She’d gone from seeing Lexa as some caped internet crusader to just an average girl.

Her mind was racing.  Had they been moving too fast?  Had Clarke really fallen for Lexa, or just had a celebrity sort of crush on her?  How much of her privacy would be invaded?  Would she have any?  Did _Lexa_ have any?  Worst of all, what if this was some sort of publicity stunt?  Did Lexa really care?

She slumped against the wall of the hotel, huffing.  Her breath was visible in the frigid Christmas Eve air; it billowed out like a puff of smoke.  Clarke wrapped her arms around her body, watching the cabs and cars drive by on the busy city streets. 

No; it couldn’t be some sort of publicity stunt, seeing as Clarke had no publicity for Lexa to get more famous _from_.  That had to mean Lexa did care, right?

It brought a morsel of relief to the rapidly worrying Clarke.

She could’ve been waiting out there for hours, or even just seconds.  Time was meaningless to Clarke as she shivered in the cold, watching the cars go by.  Her mind was flooded with thoughts, good and bad.

“Clarke?” Clarke turned slightly, catching sight of Bellamy.  He shrugged off his coat, wrapping it around her body quickly.  “What are you doing out here?”

Clarke gave a breathy laugh.  “Beats me.”

“What’s wrong?  Octavia said you left, twenty minutes ago,”

Clarke shrugged, pulling Bellamy’s jacket over her tighter.  “Your sister kind of made me question my whole relationship with Lexa.”

Bellamy’s eyebrows creased.  “What do you mean?”

Clarke gave a loud sigh, hands going up in the air.  “I don’t even know what I mean, Bell.  All I know is Octavia is right; one day, I was worshipping Lexa like some—some hotshot celebrity, and social media stalking her, and like, obsessing over her like she’s Harry Styles and I’m a sixth grader.  But after getting to know her, I just—I forgot.  Everything.  I forgot how famous she is, I forgot that she’s not some girl who’s saving the world, I forgot that her life was such a public thing, I just.  She’s just Lexa.  But Octavia is right.  To everyone in there,” she gestured towards the hotel, “she’s not just Lexa.  She’s someone they can’t touch, some…divine entity.  I forgot.”

Bellamy smiled, wrapping an arm around Clarke’s shoulders.  “Because when you’re alone, it really is just the two of you, right?”

Clarke nodded.

“Did anyone stop you guys at the museum?  To ask for Lexa to take a picture?  To sign something?”  Bellamy asked, encouraging Clarke to think.

Clarke swallowed, thinking of the previous day.  Slowly, she nodded.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I—how did I not even think anything of it?  A bunch of girls did,”

Bellamy nodded.  “You don’t notice because you know that’s how it’s going to be.  Even if you didn’t _think_ about it, you just know.  The way you looked up to Lexa, admired her before you knew her…I think part of you just knows that’s how others will act, too.”

“Maybe,”

“Clarke, that’s a good thing.  Did you…notice if Lexa acts the same with you as she does all the people here?”

Clarke shook her head, “She doesn’t.  Act too different,” she clarified.  “She’s so…sweet.  And very romantic.  She’s, I don’t know, Lexa.”

“Well?  Then I don’t think you need to worry.  Look, Lexa likes you, Clarke, anyone can see that.  And you like Lexa.  What else do you need to worry about?  If you’re willing to deal with the fact that she’ll be known and popular,” he shrugged.  “Give it a shot.”

“But what if I _don’t_ like her, Bellamy?”  Clarke asked, pulling out of his grip.  She faced him, looking him squarely in the eyes.  “What if I’m just shell shocked that a celebrity talked to me?  What if it is just a silly celebrity crush?  What if, when she goes home, I’ll go right back to what I was doing before?  Admiring her from the other side of a computer screen?”

Bellamy stayed quiet, thinking.  Finally, he settled on saying, “Okay, fair enough.”

“Fair enough?”  Clarke asked, bewildered.  “Fair _enough_?  You’re just—you’re just going to stop there?”

“I can’t figure this one out for you, Clarke,” he said apologetically.  With a sigh, he shook his head, saying, “only you can figure out if you really care about Lexa.  Maybe you do only think you like her because she’s someone you admire, Clarke.  Maybe you think you like her because she’s famous.  Or, maybe you like her because you just do.  You can’t help who you like or why you like them, Clarke, but you can figure them out.  So, why do you like Lexa?  Tell me, right now.  Any reason.  Every reason,” he said, gesturing with his hand to urge her on.

Clarke let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.  “She’s—she’s amazing, Bellamy.  Yeah, at first I liked her because she was cute.  She was funny online.  Her videos were entertaining.  But then, I mean, I saw her make a change, you know?  I saw her community grow because of what she was doing.  All those videos, her book…it means a lot to a lot of people.  I guess, I mean, I just admired that.  What she was doing.  What she was doing for other people…” she trailed off, eyes watering.  “I felt like, I don’t know, she understood.  Because of what happened to her girlfriend, I just—”

“Finn.”  Bellamy said plainly.  “She reminded you of what Finn did.  And she helped you get through the memories.”

Clarke nodded.  “Yeah,” she said, a hot tear falling down her cheek.  She swiped at it quickly.  “And I mean, I get it that I’ve had you.  And Octavia.  And Mom and Dad.  But—it felt like someone really cared.  Someone wanted to vocalize it, make a change.  I think—I think it started because of that.  It just felt…like she cared.  Without even _knowing_ me.”

Bellamy frowned, extending his hand to Clarke.  She took it, gripping his gloved hand in her bare one.  He pulled her close, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.  “She does care, Clarke.  That’s why she wrote the book, that’s why she has her channels; that’s why everyone’s here today.  To listen to her.  She’s gone through what you have, just in a different way.  I think…I think you’re right.  You did start falling for her way back then, when she told everyone about Costia.  I think…you finally had someone you could relate to, and they _cared_ enough about their struggle, _yours_ , to write about it, to be public about it.  I—Octavia, our parents—we don’t know like you do and Lexa do what it means to go through that violence,”

Clarke let out a soft whine into Bellamy’s shirt.  “I hope you never do.”

Bellamy brought a hand to the back of Clarke’s head, holding her in place as he rested his own head atop hers.  “You started falling for her because she’s gone through the same shit you have.  You could relate to her.  You admire what she’s doing.  That’s reasonable, Clarke.  Admiration can lead to that, you know.”

“I think I really do care about her, Bell,” Clarke whispered, clutching the back of Bellamy’s shirt.  “Spending time with her…feels right.”

“Then maybe it is right.”  Bellamy whispered back.  “You need to talk to her.  Today, before she leaves.  You need to tell her.  Everything.  Maybe it’ll help you figure out if it is a fleeting crush based on admiration, or based on her just getting what you’ve gone through, or…”

Clarke nodded into his chest.  She sniffled, giving a big sigh.  “You’re right.”

After a moment of quiet, Bellamy said, “You know, Clarke, I haven’t seen anyone look at someone the way Jake looks at Abby in my whole life.  He’s my father figure.  I know everything about sports, about girls, about…well, everything, from Jake.  And growing up, I always wondered why my dad left my mom.  Wondered why Abby had this…this husband who adored her, who looked at her like she was the whole universe itself and he was in awe…and why my mom didn’t.  And I realized that my mom deserved better.  She deserved someone like Jake.  And I promised myself, that when I grew up, when I was going to get married…I’d always look at my wife the way Jake looks at your mom.  Because everyone deserves to be looked at like that.  Like they’re the most important person on the planet.”  Bellamy ran his fingers through Clarke’s hair, before saying, “Lexa looks at you like that.  Like you’re the universe and she’s just discovered it.  I have no doubt she cares about you, Clarke.”

The two stood in silence, comfortable in the hug.

After a moment, Bellamy said, “We should get you back inside.  You’ve been out here too long.”

Clarke nodded, pulling back from Bellamy.  She swiped at her eyes, no doubt rubbing around the mess of smeared eyeliner and mascara already coating her cheeks.

 “Clarke?”

Clarke looked towards the hotel’s entrance, seeing a figure hurrying outside.  “Lexa?”  She croaked.

“God, Clarke, what’s wrong?”  Lexa asked, running up to her side.  She cradled Clarke’s face in her hands.  “You ran out of there, and I couldn’t leave in the middle of the signings, but,” her thumbs swiped at the makeup on Clarke’s cheeks.  “What happened?”

“Excuse me,” Bellamy nodded towards the two, before stepping quietly away.

“Shouldn’t you be answering questions now?”  Clarke hiccupped.

Lexa gave her a sad smile.  “Anya’s got it covered for a little while.”  She shook her head slowly.  “Clarke, what’s wrong?  Are you okay?  Did you—did you have a panic attack or something?  I know a lot of people who don’t do well in crowds, if I would’ve known I wouldn’t have wanted to you stay in line, I would’ve let you sit backstage, or—”

Clarke pulled Lexa into her arms.  Lexa’s hands dropped from Clarke’s face, pulling her closer as she returned the hug.  “I’m okay now.”

Lexa let out a breath.  “What happened?”

“It’s…nothing.  You need to get back to—”

“You’re crying,” Lexa pulled away, brushing Clarke’s hair off of her mascara-stained face.  “Obviously something happened.  What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t make sure you could talk about it?”

Clarke smiled at that.  “A bad one.”

Lexa grinned back.  She quickly pecked Clarke on the lips once, twice, three times, before peppering kisses on her wet cheeks.  “And I intend to not be a bad girlfriend, because I really do care for you, Clarke,” Lexa whispered, finally pressing one last kiss to Clarke’s lips.  It was softer, much slower than the others, but chaste, and sweet. 

Clarke let out a breathy exhale once Lexa pulled back.  “Can we talk about it after the tour?  I don’t…want to face Anya’s wrath for making you late.”

Lexa nodded, her smile not fading.  “Yeah.  Yeah, we can talk.” Lexa shivered.  “It’s freezing, Clarke,” she said, nodding her head towards the door.  She grabbed Clarke’s hand, pulling her back into the warm hotel lobby.  She reached into her pocket, pulling out the key card to her room.  Handing it to Clarke, she said, “Go clean yourself up.  I’ll tell the others you’re alright.  The tour should be over in a couple hours.  Questions, press, more pictures, that kind of stuff,”

Clarke nodded, taking the key card.  “Thanks, Lexa.”

“I mean,” Lexa said, giving Clarke’s hand a squeeze.  “If you want to come back down then do, but.  You look like you could take a bath.  Or sleep.  Or do both,”

“Maybe I will.”  Clarke said, squeezing her hand back.  “Get back to your adoring fans,” she rolled he eyes, grinning.

“Aren’t I with the most important one already?”  Lexa teased, pressing a kiss to Clarke’s cheek.

“Alright, prince charming,” Clarke chuckled, letting go of Lexa’s hand.

“You okay?”  Lexa asked, seriously.

Clarke smiled.  “I will be.”

* * *

Within the span of two hours, Clarke had successfully taken a nap and gotten a bath, using the assortment of posh bath soaps the hotel had provided.  It seemed the Blake siblings were two wise kids much older than their years; both of them had given her a lot to think about.  The bath had let her do just that; clear her head and think.  And while she felt bad for ditching her friends, the whole reason they came in the first place, it was what she needed to do.

While sitting in the hotel robe on Lexa’s bed, she flipped through the channels, unable to choose what to watch.  She glanced at the clock on the bedside table, seeing that it was nearly six o’clock; Lexa’s tour should be over soon.  With a sigh, she resigned herself to watching TLC, endless reruns of _Say Yes to the Dress_ playing.

Somewhere between the bride trying on a ballgown dress and an asymmetrical dress, Clarke dozed off.  She barely registered the sound of the hotel door opening and shutting quietly, followed by short, quiet phone calls.

What did rouse her, however, was the feeling of a soft indent in the bed at her side.  “Hey, Clarke,” Lexa said, brushing her fingers through Clarke’s hair.

“Hi,” Clarke rasped.  “What time is it?”

“Nearly seven.”  Lexa said softly, resting her hand on the side of Clarke’s face.

“Isn’t your flight at eight?”  Clarke asked, sitting up.  She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.  “You need to get—”

Lexa smiled.  “I’m not going home tonight.”

Clarke frowned.  “But tomorrow is Christmas—”

Lexa shrugged.  “Anya is heading back to be with Mom so she isn’t alone.  I can go back in a day or two.”

“But the hotel room—”

“—is still under my name for another night,” Lexa said, pressing a soft kiss to Clarke’s forehead.  “I had it booked another night in case something happened like getting snowed in.  Flights delay easily in the winter,”

Clarke nodded a little, scooting over on the bed so Lexa could have more room.  Lexa pulled herself higher up on the bed, kicking her heels off and pressing herself next to Clarke.  “How was the tour?”

“Eh,” Lexa shrugged.  “I mean, still fun, but doing this over and over every other day since November began has been rather repetitive.”

“How are my friends?”

Lexa smiled.  “They refused to leave you, so I managed to get them all a nice hotel room tonight so they can hang out here.  They’re pretty happy about it,” Lexa chuckled.  “They’re just down the hall, actually.  So, they’re all here if you want to hang out with them tonight.”

“Thank you, but I can pay for it, really—”

“It isn’t a big deal, Clarke.  It’s a small room,” Lexa said, entwining her fingers with Clarke’s.

“In a fancy hotel in downtown DC,” Clarke reminded Lexa, bringing their folded hands onto her thigh.

“I can afford it, Clarke,” Lexa whispered, pressing a soft kiss on Clarke’s neck.  “My treat.  For being so hospitable to Anya and I.”

Clarke laughed.  “If that’s your reason, maybe you should’ve gotten my parents a room; they’re the ones who gave room and board to Anya last night.”

Lexa pressed another kiss on Clarke’s jaw.  “Oh, I did.  They’re in the presidential suite.  Aurora, too.”

Clarke’s jaw dropped.  “You did not,”

“I’m trying to impress my girlfriend’s family, here,” Lexa mumbled against Clarke’s skin.  “I figured I couldn’t hoard you to myself on Christmas, I don’t think your parents would appreciate that.  I’m considering this my Christmas gift to them this year.”

“This year?  What about next year?” Clarke teased, tilting her head to the side.  Lexa took advantage of the new expanse of skin, trailing kisses down the side of Clarke’s neck.

“I’ll have to one-up myself.” She grinned.  “I think all of us being together on Christmas at a nice hotel is a pretty good gift to give,”

“My mom will love you forever,” Clarke laughed.

“Good.  I booked her an Aurora some massages, which,” she lifted her lips from Clarke’s skin, glancing over at the clock, “should be happening in an hour, if you want to join.”

“I’m good to stay here with you.”

Lexa hummed, giving Clarke a gentle kiss. 

“How did you manage all of this?”

“I have my ways, Clarke.”

“You didn’t kick anyone out of rooms, did you?”  Clarke asked, frowning.

“Maybe one couple,” Lexa shrugged.  “But I got them the presidential suite at another hotel, down the street.”

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “Unbelievable.  You need to reserve rooms here, like, months in advance,”

Lexa shrugged.  “People will do anything for money.”

Clarke scoffed.  “You sound like one of those snobby rich teenagers who go to boarding school,” she teased.

Lexa nodded.  “I was one of them,” she said, shrugging.  “My father is a neurosurgeon.  My mother is a publicist.  They make good money.  They sent me to preppy schools.  They won’t blink an eye at the bill that comes to them.  Well, I used my father’s card, so, he won’t notice at all.  My mother would notice, she just wouldn’t care.  My father…doesn’t agree with my lifestyle, to say the least, but he tries to buy my love with his little platinum cards,” she joked, rolling her eyes.

“You were…a prep school kid?” Clarke laughed.  “I can’t imagine you in a uniform.  Well,” she stopped laughing, her neck heating up.  “Maybe I can.”

Now it was Lexa’s turn to scoff.  “Now who’s the one with the schoolgirl fetish?”  She poked fun.  Hearing a knock at the door, Lexa pulled away from Clarke.  She walked over, muttering quietly to the person outside the door, before shutting the door quietly.  She walked in with a cart in tow, bringing it to the side of the bed.

“Room service?”  Clarke laughed, looking at the contents of the cart.

Lexa shrugged.  “I did promise you a drink,”

She pulled the bottle of champagne from the bucket of ice, popping it open.  Gently, she poured two glasses, handing one to Clarke.  She joined Clarke on the bed, tucking a foot under her body.  She held her glass out to Clarke.  Clarke smiled, clinking their glasses before taking a drink.

“Okay, Clarke,” Lexa said, the smile on her face dropping.  “What happened today?”

Clarke sighed.  “I did a lot of thinking.”

Lexa nodded slowly.  “That usually is a bad then when your girlfriend tells you that,” she muttered, looking down at her glass.

Clarke nudged Lexa’s leg with her foot.  “It’s not,” she said, giving Lexa a half-assed smile.  “I just—we need to talk.”

“Also not the thing one normally wants to hear,” Lexa chuckled.

Clarke scrunched her nose.  “No, not usually,” she licked at her lips, taking another sip from the glass.  “Octavia made me do a lot of thinking today.  About you,”

“And?”  Lexa asked, looking back up at Clarke.

“And she made me realize I didn’t know what I was getting myself into,” Clarke laughed, holding out her hands.  “Because I _don’t_.  I don’t know what being with someone famous will be like.  I don’t know if I’ll have any privacy, I don’t know if your career will only get bigger and you’ll only become more famous,” Clarke shrugged, sighing.  “And there’s no way for me to know.  But I need to decide if I’m okay with that.”

Lexa reached for Clarke’s hand.  “Yeah, you do.  Whatever you decide, Clarke.  I don’t…want my publicity to affect you.  I don’t know what I’m going to do next,” she shrugged.  “I don’t know how long I’ll be on YouTube, or how long I’ll work with BuzzFeed, or if I’ll write more, or something else,” Lexa said, scooting closer.  “I wish I could tell you.  And I wish I could assure you that you’d have the utmost privacy, but,” she shook her head.  “I can’t.  Anya and I…have little privacy.  If you’re not okay with that…”

Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand in reassurance.  “I did think about it.  A lot, actually, while I was in the bath.  I…I really do like you, Lexa.  And I want to give us a shot.”

Lexa smiled.  “I want to give us a shot, too.”

“But,” Clarke said, letting go of Lexa’s hand.  “I…want to make sure that I like Lexa for Lexa.  Not Lexa for the girl who films videos.  Who’s famous.  You…deserve better than that.”

“That _is_ me, Clarke,” Lexa assured her.  “I’m not…I don’t change myself, or who I am, to film.  Or to present in front of people.  I…may change my demeanor.  Be a little more professional.  But I try to stay true to myself when I make my content.  I don’t want to be famous to get paychecks, Clarke, I don’t even _want_ to be famous.  I just…I want to help people,” she shrugged, taking a gulp from her glass, setting it back on the cart.  “No one could help me when Costia was killed.  No one understood.  I didn’t have any transgender friends or gay friends or…anyone.  Anya wasn’t out yet.  My mom could sympathize, but not empathize.  My father…divorced my mother when she supported Costia and our love.  He doesn’t agree with it; with any LGBT movements.  I didn’t have anyone who knew what I was going through,” she sighed, wringing her hands together.  “I just want to be that for someone, you know?  Be someone who understands, who’s experienced these…aggressions.  The violence.  I just want to be myself, so I can…help even one person who’s going through something like I did.  Or like Costia did.  I just want to be someone people can look at and say, ‘if she made it through, I can make it through.’  I want to be someone who inspires people.  Who helps them.  I want to show people that we…that lesbians, and gays, and transgender people, and bisexuals, and everyone in between, that we’re all human.  You know?  I just…I just want to help people, and I can’t do that if I’m not _me_.  If you…if you fell in love with me, or in lust with me, or just crushed on me before you even knew me, I promise Clarke, that still _was_ me.  You…you filmed with us.  Did I—did it look like I acted differently?”

Clarke shook her head slowly, eyes watering.  “No.  But I just—I wanted to make _sure_ —”

“I know,” Lexa nodded, moving closer up the bed.  Clarke handed Lexa her empty glass of champagne to put back on the cart.  Lexa did so quickly, before moving next to Clarke’s side once more.  She held her hand open, palm up, for Clarke to hold.

After a moment, Clarke rested her hand atop Lexa’s.  “And Bellamy…made a good point to me, too.”

Lexa wove her fingers through Clarke’s.  “What was that?”

“I think…I need to tell you what happened to me.”

Lexa frowned.  “Okay,”

Clarke took a deep breath.  “I used to date a boy named Finn,” she started slowly, already feeling tears prickling the back of her eyes.  “And I…don’t want to get into too much into the details of our relationship.  But we met in freshman year of college, and we were happy,” Clarke said, a tear falling down her cheek.  “At least, I thought we were happy.  But he…he found out I was bisexual.  He told me—he told me it was sick, that it was _wrong_.  That I’d go to hell for it.  And for…for a year or so, he,” her voice caught in her throat.  “He manipulated me.  My emotions.  He made me…believe him.  Believe that I was disgusting, that I was worthless, that if anyone else ever found out they’d leave me.  He made me think I was immoral.  That I was sick.  Messed up in the head.  He—he emotionally abused me, and I let him.  He made me think he was helping me get better, get over this…this _sickness_.  And I believed him.  I did, because I loved him.”

Lexa rubbed her thumb over Clarke’s knuckles, not speaking, unsure if Clarke was done.

Clarke swallowed hard.  “And I thought, you know, a good person, someone who loved me would do whatever it took to help me get better.  He…really made me think he loved me, that he was helping me.  He would always say things like…he would be the only person who would ever love me.  That he would be the only one to understand.  That as long as I got better, he wouldn’t tell anyone, and that we could live happily ever after.”  Clarke’s hand flew to her cheeks, wiping away the tears.  “I started…going to therapy on my own.  Because I wanted to, you know, make sure I wasn’t sick in the head, that I was getting better.  But…my therapist, he told me there…there _wasn’t_ anything wrong with liking girls and boys.  And I started to…to talk to Finn about it.  My therapy sessions,” Clarke closed her eyes.  “He beat me.  He told me the therapist was lying to me, trying to get me to revert back to what I used to be to get more money out of me when he would treat me.  Finn…hit me.  Often.  I didn’t tell anybody, because he made me think he was doing it out of love.” Clarke felt Lexa’s hand tighten around her own.  Clarke looked up to see Lexa’s jaw clenched tight.  Looking at Lexa now, she said, “He raped me.  For months.  He made me believe I wanted it.  He made me believe that it was natural.  A boy and a girl.  That he…that I should only want to be with men.  That I should only want to be with _him_.”

Lexa gently reached for Clarke’s face, wiping away at the tears with her thumb.  “What did you do?”

“Bellamy found out.”  Clarke said, looking back down.  “At the beginning of my sophomore year.  He…he saw Finn hurting me.  He caught on to all the bruises.  He—”  Clarke’s hand went to her mouth.  She shook her head.

“You don’t have to say anything else, Clarke,” Lexa said, shaking her head softly.

“No,” Clarke said, her hand going back to her side.  “I need to.”  She took a breath before continuing, “Bellamy was the first to realize something was up.  When I brought Finn home for fall break last year, he...had been seeing the signs.  Bell heard me yelling in my room, telling Finn I didn’t want it.  And he came running.  Finn, he—he had me against the wall.  He was telling me I wanted it.  He was hurting me.  Bellamy…Bellamy went mad.  He beat the shit out of Finn,” Clarke sniffled, before giving a bitter laugh.  “Right there, in my bedroom, while I was naked and crying on the floor.  And then my parents came in, hearing them fighting.  And my dad—he lost it.  He nearly killed Finn,” Clarke looked down at the bedspread.  “He nearly did.  My mom stopped him.  They…they put me in real therapy, after.  To—to get over it.  What happened.  To not be afraid of him anymore.  They knew I was bisexual, they had since I was a teenager.  They wanted me to realize there wasn’t anything wrong with me.”

“There isn’t,” Lexa whispered, sad eyes staring into Clarke’s.  “God, Clarke, there isn’t, and I’m so sorry you were with someone who made you think that.  Who—who did that to you.”  She moved so that she was holding Clarke, burying her face in the crook of Clarke’s neck.

“And I’m not afraid of him anymore,” Clarke said.  “I’m not.  And I’m not ashamed of myself.  Raven, she—she ended up dating Finn.  I helped her out of that one,” she gave a shaky laugh.  “But I’m proud of who I am.”

“You should be,” Lexa mumbled, lips brushing softly over Clarke’s skin.  “God, you’re so strong, Clarke.  I had no idea,”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa.  “That’s why…that’s why I think I really started falling for you.  Because…no one else knew what I went through.  No one else faced that kind of violence…but you did.  And you were—you were trying to make a difference.  You amaze me, Lexa.  You’re so brave to go up there and—and talk about Costia.  And be public about what happened.  I think I started falling for you because of that.  Your bravery.  I could empathize.  I felt…like you cared.  And you didn’t even know me.  I could never…do what you do.”

“I do care, Clarke,” Lexa whispered, holding her tighter.  “God, I do care.  I wish I could’ve been there for you when it happened.”

“You sort of were,” Clarke exhaled.  “The second time around.  Your…appearance on TV helped me help Raven.  Kept me from relapsing again, from feeling what I felt when Finn took advantage of me.”

Lexa smiled, saying, “Well, I’m glad, then.”  They stayed pressed against one another in silence until Lexa finally asked, “So?  What are you going to do, Clarke?”

“Hmm?”

Lexa pulled her head up, shifting so she was looking at Clarke.  “Do you…want to give it a shot?”

Clarke gave Lexa a smile.  “I do.”

Lexa sighed.  “Me too,” she breathed, kissing Clarke’s cheek.  “It’s me, Clarke.  I promise you.  I’m no different than the person you started crushing on behind the screen.  It’s always been me,”

Clarke let out a little laugh.  “I’m surprised you aren’t weirded out by the fact that I was crushing on you before we started talking.”

“I’m not going to lie,” Lexa chuckled, “it was a little…awkward at first.  Talking to your friends, knowing you had a thing for me.  But it’s flattering.  And cute.  And nothing at all different than when I had a huge crush on—”

“—Britney Spears,” the two chorused together.  Clarke rolled her eyes.

Lexa laughed.  “You’re adorable, Clarke Griffin.  And beautiful.  Ever since I saw your Instagram posts, I knew there was something special about you.”

“Oh, twenty first century love,” Clarke sighed dramatically, resting her head on Lexa’s chest.

  “To post, or not to post, that is the question,”

“Okay, Macbeth,” Clarke said.  She snuggled closer to Lexa. 

“Thank you.  For sharing that about Finn.”

Clarke nodded, the smile still on her lips.  “Thanks for listening,”

Lexa held Clarke close. 

“Oh, and Clarke?”

“Hm?”

“It was actually Hamlet’s soliloquy.”

“Yeah, I always mix those two up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi  
> Sorry I've been MIA, life's been HECTIC.  
> I hope you liked the chapter!  
> Come talk to me at aihedas.tumblr.com


	11. The One With the Sex Oracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two for the price of one deal in cheesy airport scenes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The views expressed by judgy!Octavia and judgy!Clarke about wedding dresses and/or shaving preferences do not apply to the author.
> 
> Embrace your natural hair if you want, ladies! Or get it all taken off. Whatever. You do you ;)
> 
> This is totally unedited, I'm so sorry. I haven't had time to breathe, let alone edit. If there's something glaringly wrong, please let me know and I'll fix it ASAP!
> 
> Enjoy!

The airport around them was bustling, full of annoyed victims of delays and layovers, as well as tired families heading home from visiting relatives.  The place was loud; the sounds of babies crying, children squealing, feet shuffling, and the voices over the speakers sent travelers in a whirl.

“Call me when you land, okay?”

Lexa smiled, giving the hand interlocked in hers a squeeze.  “Of course.  Today’s been splendid, thank you for letting me intrude in on your family for the holiday,”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa.  “I think we should be the ones thanking you,” she laughed, nuzzling her nose into Lexa’s neck.  “Staying at a five star hotel on Christmas has been amazing,”

“Okay, lovebirds,” Octavia interjected with a grin.  “Lexa, your plane’s going to start boarding soon.”

Lexa pulled out of Clarke’s hug, giving her a small smile.  She turned towards Octavia, giving the smaller girl a hug.  “Thank you,” she whispered. 

“For what?”  Octavia laughed.

“For everything,” Lexa said, pulling back.  She rested her hands on Octavia’s upper arms, shaking her head in amusement.  “Leaving those dumb comments on my posts.  Constantly flooding my notifications.  Mentioning Clarke all the time,” her eyes flitted over to her girlfriend, before looking back at Octavia.  “Without you, I wouldn’t have _her_.”

“You sap,” Octavia grumbled, before pulling her back in for a second hug. 

“Hey!  I want some Lexa hugs too,”

Lexa pulled away from Octavia, seeing Raven standing off to the side with her hands on her hips.  She smirked, moving over to the girl with open arms.  “Come back soon, Anya texted me saying I was a hit on her channel.”

Clarke noticed Octavia glance at the ground, but said nothing.

“Oh, so you’re just using us for our fame?”  Lexa mocked, a smile on her lips.  “Well, in that case, I’ll certainly have to come back.  Don’t want to keep you from achieving fame,”

“Atta girl,” Raven winked, patting Lexa’s shoulder as she pulled away.  “It was nice to see you guys.  You’re much dorkier in person.”

Lexa went down the line, giving her goodbyes to Bellamy, then Aurora, then Abby.  After a particularly touching goodbye hug with her sister, she turned to Jake.

“Take care Lexa, alright?”  He smiled, extending his hand.

Lexa nodded once, giving Jake a firm handshake.  “Thank you for your hospitality.  I’m glad Clarke has parents like you,” she said to Jake, looking between him and Abby.  “You are a wonderful family.  Thank you for letting me be part of it this holiday,”

“I’m glad my Clarke has a girl like _you_ ,” Jake said.  He put a hand on Lexa’s shoulder, saying, “She deserves someone like you, with what she’s been through.  Thank you.  You—you stand up for victims like my daughter.  As a parent…you have no idea what it’s like to see your _kid_ go through something like what Clarke did.  It means a lot to me—to Abby, to all of us—that you stand up for people like her.”

Lexa nodded, swallowing thickly.  “Of course I do.  I always will.  It’s only right,”

Jake pulled her in for a hug then, smiling wide.  “Oh, we’ll miss you Lexa.  Don’t be a stranger.” 

_“Flight 27-A to New York now boarding.”_

“Better be on your way, then,” Echo said, handing over one of Lexa’s suitcases to her sister.  Lexa took it with a nod, before lifting her purse off the floor by her feet and throwing it over her shoulder.

“See you guys soon, hopefully,” Lexa smiled.

Clarke trudged up next to her, rolling Lexa’s other suitcase with a smile.  “We better get you to the gate,” she said, nodding her head in the direction the crowd was flooding.  She turned back toward her family.  “I’ll be back in a minute,”

“Take your time,” Octavia rolled her eyes.

They walked in silence past the waiting area, standing at the back of the slow-moving line. 

“When do you think you’ll be back?”  Clarke asked after a few moments of standing still. 

“I don’t know,” Lexa said, truthfully.  She gave a little shrug.  “Work is crazy.  I’ll make time, though.”

“What if—” Clarke began.

Lexa cocked her head.  “What, Clarke?”

“What if we come visit you?  Y’know, O and Bell and Echo and me?  We could come up to New York for spring break in a couple months,”

Lexa smiled at that, pressing a soft kiss to Clarke’s temple.  “I would like that.”

“That’s still almost four months away, though,” she sighed, reaching for Lexa’s free hand.  Lexa grasped Clarke’s hand tightly, weaving her fingers through Clarke’s.

“Maybe I’ll fly down for a weekend sometime next month.  If I get ahead of my schedules…” she trailed off, giving Clarke a sigh.  “We’ll figure something out,” she whispered.

Clarke let go of Lexa’s suitcase, seeing as the line was at a standstill.  Bringing her hand up, she cradled Lexa’s face with her fingers.  Standing slightly on her tiptoes, she pressed a soft kiss against Lexa’s lips.  “Yeah, we will,” she mumbled, lips ghosting over Lexa’s.

Lexa smiled under Clarke’s touch.  Ignoring how her purse fell to the ground, she brought her arm around Clarke, pulling her closer.  After a moment, Lexa breathed, “By the way,” pulling back ever so slightly from Clarke, “there’s a post on tumblr with about twenty thousand notes of you drenched in whipped cream.  They love you,”

Clarke laughed at that, resting her forehead against Lexa’s.  “Good.  Then this makes my confession easier.  Just like Raven, I’m only using you for your fame.”

Lexa blinked, pulling back from Clarke slightly.

“I’m teasing,” Clarke laughed, pulling Lexa back again.  She peppered her cheek with kisses, all while smiling widely. 

“You think you’re funny,” Lexa rolled her eyes, chuckling.

Clarke swiped at her eyes, letting out a hum as she tried to suppress her laughter.  “I’m hilarious.”

“You’re a nerd.”

“Coming from the girl who plays video games for money,”

“Touché,”

Seeing the line begin to move again, Lexa picked up her purse from the ground, slinging it back over her shoulder.  “Well, I better hop out of line,” Clarke said, seeing only a few people left in front of Lexa.  She handed Lexa the other suitcase, her face dropping.  “I’ll miss you,”

“I’ll miss you, too,” Lexa muttered, taking the luggage.  “But, hey,” she said, giving Clarke a reassuring smile, “I’ll call you every day, alright?  We can still video chat, and text, and everything we did before I got here.”

“Yeah,” Clarke sighed.  “But now that I’ve gotten to hold you, I think it’ll be a lot harder seeing you and not being able to touch you,” she said, resting her hand atop Lexa’s on her bag. 

Lexa quirked an eyebrow.  “We can make up for that lost time next time I see you, how about that?”

“You debauchee,” Clarke rolled her eyes.  “Really, I better go,” she said, seeing the few people in front of Lexa left make their way forward.  “Call me tonight,”

“I will,” Lexa promised.

Clarke leaned forward, pressing her lips against Lexa’s one last time.  “I look forward to it.”

* * *

January crept by slowly.  With the first three weeks of the month still on winter break, Clarke had little to do to keep her busy.

It was in those weeks that she missed Lexa the most.

Octavia and Raven kept her busy, though, with endless girls nights, sleepovers, and nights out on the town.  When she got particularly bored, she would even head over to her parents’ house, the short drive away, and hang out there for a day or two.

Once school started, though, time went by in a blur.

Between morning wake up calls, lunch break text messages, and evening FaceTimes, Lexa and Clarke kept in touch, though it was rare for a call or video chat or text conversation to last more than a few minutes.  Lexa’s work—which had _tripled_ after her two-month-long tour—and Clarke’s schooling kept them both busy, working around the clock.

On some days, they didn’t talk at all.  The schedules just didn’t align.

It was frustrating.

For the most part, they managed to have at least one conversation a day.  Most days, with the heavy workload of her junior year, Clarke didn’t even notice that their conversations were quick—or even nonexistent. 

But on the weekends (or on the rare weeknight) when Clarke found herself done with her work and bored and alone, or while Bellamy and Echo went out on dates, or when Octavia hooked up with different guys from her dating site, or even when Raven came over and painted Clarke’s nails and braided her hair while they binge watched _House Hunters_ —that’s when Clarke missed Lexa the most.

A few weeks after the two had departed from one another, a fight actually _had_ happened between the two of them. 

“You just—you’re never around your phone, I can’t _talk_ to you at all; it feels like I’m dating a brick wall!”  Clarke had said, frustrated beyond belief.

“I can’t help the fact that our schedules don’t match up, Clarke,” Lexa had responded, rolling her eyes over the video chat. 

“You can help texting me every once in a while!  Just a ‘Hi, I’m alive!’ at this rate would be better than what you’re sending!”  Clarke yelled, standing up from her desktop and pacing around the room.

“Well I’m _sorry_ that I have a _career_ that demands my attention, Clarke.  You knew what kind of lifestyle I lived!  Why are you being so _bitchy_?”

“Bitchy?  Me, bitchy?”  Clarke asked, shocked.  She made her way back to the desktop,  laying her hands on the desk and leaning towards the screen.  “You’re the one who’s acting like I _murdered_ someone for wanting to just talk to you!”

“Clarke,” Lexa had sighed, rubbing her temples.  “I can’t pick up the phone any and every time you call.  I get it, it’s hard for us.  I’m really sorry, I am,” she had said, sincerely.  “I wish I could just fly down and not worry about work, but I can’t.  I swamped with all the things I need to make up from the tour,” she trailed off momentarily, before saying, “I shouldn’t have called you a bitch.”

Then, it was Clarke’s turn to sigh.  Falling back in her computer chair, she shook her head.  “No, I am being a bitch.  I just—this is harder than I thought it would be.  It’s only been a month, and I miss you.”

Lexa smiled sympathetically.  “I miss you too, Clarke.  Long distance relationships are hard, but we knew getting into this…”

Clarke had nodded slowly.  “Yeah.  We did.”

“Look, Clarke,” Lexa had said, leaning back in her own chair.  “I care about you a lot.  I’ve loved talking to you.  Being with you.  Since Thanksgiving, after we started calling and texting and dating, I just—I’ve been really happy,”

“Me too,”

“I don’t want to fight.  We knew it would be hard, but we chose it.”

“We did,” Clarke nodded again, this time firmer.  “We just have to push through.”

“We will.  Look, I better go.  I’ve still got a ton of work to do, and I know you have class in a few hours.  Are we good?”

Clarke had smiled at that, uncrossing her arms.  “Yeah, Lexa.  We’re good.  I’m sorry.”

“Me too,”

“Well.  Goodnight, then.  Call me when you can, okay?”

Lexa had nodded.  “I will.  Get some sleep Clarke.”

Or there were times when fighting didn’t happen, but neither party was particularly _happy_ with the situation concerning their communication.

Like when Clarke was purposefully putting off doing her O Chem project and studying for her other classes, choosing instead to complain about how much she missed Lexa.

“I just want to have _one_ conversation with my girlfriend that lasts longer than a goldfish’s attention span, is that too much to ask?”  Clarke groaned, letting herself fall on the couch.  “At least I have you, tonight,” she said, looking over to Octavia, who was distracted by some color jump app or something.  Clarke really had no idea, she couldn’t keep up with the kids these days.

Octavia grimaced at Clarke’s side, looking up from her phone.  “Actually, I have my date in an hour.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow.  “With who?  That Atom guy?”

Octavia waved her off, looking back down at her app.  She tapped on the screen a few times, before saying, “No, all he wanted was sex.  I’m going on a date with that Lincoln guy, the one who matched me on that profile you set up a few weeks back.  He’s in town.”

“Oh, yeah,” Clarke said, watching as Octavia intently focused on the game.  It reminded her of Flappy Bird.  God, that game had ended with Octavia’s phone _literally_ lodged into the drywall of her old bedroom.  Clarke grimaced, imagining what this game would do to her. 

“He’s cute.  Thanks for setting up the profile,” Octavia said as an afterthought.

“Where are you going?”  Clarke asked her, tucking her legs up underneath her body. 

Octavia cursed as she tapped the screen one too many times, ending the game.  She started again quickly, saying, “Well, he _was_ going to take me to his family club, but he feels too bad about taking a twenty year old out clubbing with a fake ID.  Even if it is _his_ place,” Octavia rolled her eyes.

“Oh, yeah!  He’s that Trikru guy, isn’t he?  Their family owns like, a shit ton of clubs on the east coast,” Clarke hummed, impressed.  “He sounds sweet, though.  Like he doesn’t have ulterior motives,”

“Hmm?”

“I mean, normally guys would jump at the chance to get a girl drunk.  He’s keeping you totally out of the scene,” Clarke said with a smile.  “I like him.”

Octavia blushed, clicking her phone shut.  She looked up at Clarke and gave a shy laugh, saying, “Me too.  We’ve been texting a bunch, lately,”

“And?”  Clarke asked, scooting closer to Octavia.  “I need the deets.”

“Deets?”  Octavia asked incredulously.  “What is this, junior high?  Are we suddenly wearing bell bottom jeans again?  Listening to the Spice Girls?  Who says _deets_ anymore, grandma?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, shoving Octavia with a grunt.  “Whatever, bitch,” she laughed.  “I need to live vicariously through someone else’s love life,”

Octavia furrowed her eyebrows.  “Whoa, trouble in paradise?  Is everything okay with you and Lexa?”

Clarke huffed, shrugging.  “I don’t know, I guess.  I mean, it’s not her fault she’s so busy, she missed two months worth of work.  It’s just—it’s hard, the long distance thing.”

Octavia nodded slowly, mimicking Clarke’s huff.  “Yeah.  Lincoln transports between New York and DC a lot,” she said, looking down at her phone.  “That’s the only thing I’m worried about.  If I _do_ end up hitting it off with him—”

“Well, at least he _will_ travel back here all the time.  I mean, you might go two weeks without seeing him, but…then you’ll have two weeks _with_ him, while he’s here,” Clarke said, trying to find a silver lining for Octavia.  “Who knows?”

“I guess,” Octavia said, dismissing the topic.  “Seriously though, you okay?”

“Yeah.  I’m fine, O,” Clarke said, giving her best ‘it’s nothing’ expression as she waved her hand nonchalantly.  “We’re just busy.  I’m sure it’ll all settle in a few weeks.”

“Whatever you say,” Octavia muttered, standing up.  “I’m going to start getting ready.  Will you call for me when he gets here?”

“Of course, O,” Clarke said, reaching for the remote on the coffee table.  “Go get sexy,” she winked, before clicking the TV on.

Somewhere between a PBS documentary on hot dogs (Clarke decided to never eat hot dogs again) and an episode of Say Yes to the Dress (which made Clarke miss when Lexa held her in the hotel, both of them laughing at the horrible feathery dresses that made the girls look like Big Bird), her phone rang.  She muted the TV, looking down to see Lexa’s name pop up on the screen.  She swiped the screen quickly, picking it up.  “Hey, Lexa!”

_“Hi, Clarke.  Sorry I haven’t been able to talk the past few days, I’ve been in super bust here in LA and—”_

“Whoa, what?  LA?”  Clarke asked, confused. 

 _“I didn’t tell you?  Oh.  Shit.  Sorry, Clarke.  I couldn’t call yesterday morning because I was on the plane with Anya, and then I was filming with BuzzFeed all day, so I couldn’t escape long enough to call you and—”_ She rambled on, out of breath.

“Hey, Lexa, it’s all good.  You’re frazzled, you’ve been super busy.  I get it.”  Clarke said, laughing a little as an afterthought.  There was no point in getting frustrated; neither of them could help their work situations.

 _“Still, I feel bad.  Hey, one sec,”_ Lexa said.

Clarke held back a groan, hearing people order Lexa around in the background, listening to Lexa’s small, “Okays,” and “Sure, no problem” in response.

“Everything okay?”

_“Yes, just Luna.  She flew out here with us, too.  I have to go, Clarke, I’m really sorry.”_

Clarke worried at her bottom lip with her teeth, before letting out a deep breath.   “It’s fine.”

Lexa was silent on the other end for a long moment, before Clarke heard her sigh.  _“No, it’s not.  I’ve been awful at keeping in touch.”_

“A little,” Clarke said, tersely.  “Look, you can’t help it, I get it.  I’m just—annoyed.  I miss you.”

“ _I miss you, too._ ”

“Don’t let me keep you,” Clarke muttered, eyes flickering back up to the TV screen.

For crying out loud, when would people realize that the boxy A-line look didn’t flatter anyone?

_“Hey, listen, I’ll clear my schedule tomorrow evening.  That way I can FaceTime you for before you go to bed.  How about that?”_

“I don’t want to cause you to fall behind in work,”

“ _I’ll just come in early tomorrow.”_

“No, Lexa, don’t worry about it,” Clarke said, shaking her head. 

“ _You’re upset,”_

“Not at you,”

It wasn’t the _whole_ truth, but Clarke really did know it wasn’t _Lexa’s_ fault they were so busy.

“ _How about…I fly you out to LA this weekend?  I can forward you a ticket and you can come hang out in some warm weather for a few days.  Aren’t Fridays your days off classes?”_

Clarke perked up a little at that.  “Yeah, I don’t have any on Fridays.  Oh!”  She smiled widely, adding, “And Monday’s President’s Day, we have it off.”

“ _I forgot!  Oh—Clarke, this Sunday is Valentine’s Day.”_

Clarke gave a nervous laugh at that.  “It is, isn’t it?”

“ _Clarke—I’ll have Sunday off, anyway.  You should come.  I miss you,”_

Clarke was ready to jump the gun, but she deflated in a moment, realizing how much school work she had to accomplish.  “Shit, I want to, but I have a massive O Chem project due Wednesday.  Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have procrastinated.”

_“Well…I’ll be working most of Friday and Saturday anyway.  If you bring it, can you finish it then?  We can have all Sunday and Monday to ourselves, though,”_

“As enticing as that sounds,” Clarke murmured, “O Chem is kicking my ass right now.  I’m hardly passing.  I don’t know why I even took it; I don’t _need_ it for nursing.”

 _“Oh,”_ Lexa said, voice dropping.  “ _Okay, Clarke.  I understand.  Your studies come first.”_

Clarke deliberated it for a moment.  She _missed_ Lexa.  And Lexa sounded so let down…

“Fuck it, forward me a ticket.  I’ll work my ass off tonight while O’s on her date and while you’re working.  I’ll still have Tuesday to work on it, too, when I get back.  I’ll just skip my classes.”

“ _You sure?”_

Clarke nodded, though Lexa couldn’t see.  “I’m sure.”

“ _Great!  Hey, I gotta go—I’ll have my assistant book you a ticket for Thursday night.  Your last class Thursday is at four, right?”_

Clarke smiled, a little touched that Lexa could even remember such a small detail in the midst of her business.  “Yeah.”

_“Perfect, I’ll have her book one around seven or eight then, give you plenty of time to get there.  Hey, I can’t wait to see you,”_

“Me either.”

“ _I gotta get back to—oh my god, the Try Guys are all walking past?  I gotta get a picture with them, oh my –bye Clarke!”_

Clarke laughed into the phone.  “Bye, Lexa.”

Briefly, before Lexa hung up, Clarke could hear her yell, _“Eugene!  Ned—guys, hi I’m—”_

Rolling her eyes at her girlfriend’s excitement, Clarke turned the volume back up.

Clarke watched the show with rapt attention, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.  Resting her chin atop her knees, she grunted as the bride walked out in an utterly disgusting dress.  “That dress is _not_ worth ten grand.” She mumbled, wondering how on earth they thought that dress was stylish.  “It looks like Barbie barfed all over that dress, and Tiffany’s threw some crystals on it as an afterthought,”

“Talking to the TV again?” 

Clarke didn’t bother turning her attention to Octavia.  “This dress is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, and she’s going to fork over a shitton of money to look like crap,”

“Aw, let the girl like what she likes.”  Octavia teased, before stepping in front of the TV.  “Enough about that girl, how do I look?”

Clarke eyed the short dress, before giving Octavia a thumbs up.  “Hot, as always.” She waved her hand.  “Scoot, scoot.  I need to see if her ceremony dress is going to be just as ugly.”

Octavia scoffed, sitting next to Clarke.  “I don’t get why brides want two or three or four dresses,” she said, shaking her head.  “It’s your wedding, your dress should be special.  Not just one of six costumes throughout the day,”

Clarke nodded.  “When I get married, I want my dress to—I don’t know, mean something.  I don’t want to change eight times just to look good.”

“I mean, I get it if it’s cultural or something,” Octavia said, gesturing to the screen, “but that’s just greedily wanting to show off that you can afford three Panina dresses.”

“And none of them are pretty!” Clarke laughed.  “That’s what blows my mind the most.  If you’re going to change, at least make the dresses, like, gorgeous.”

With an impish grin, Octavia said, “You watching this to figure out what kind of dress you want when you marry Lexa?”

Clarke shushed her.  “We aren’t getting married any time soon, if at all.” 

“Uh-oh.  I thought I heard you on the phone, were you guys fighting?”  Octavia asked, looking over at Clarke as the TV turned to commercial break.

Clarke shook her head.  “No.  Not really.  Actually,” she said, turning towards Octavia.  “She’s buying me a ticket to see her.  I’m flying out to see her this weekend.  Valentine’s Day and all.”

Octavia smiled, bumping Clarke’s shoulder with her own.  “Nice!  Aw, Valentine’s Day in New York.  How romantic.  Maybe she’ll take you to Tiffany’s,” Octavia winked.  “She can certainly afford it.”

“I’m actually going to LA,” Clarke said, feeling her cheeks go pink.  “She’s shooting there all this week,”

Octavia’s jaw dropped.  “No way!  I’m so jealous!”

Before Clarke could go into any more details, a knock at the door interrupted them.  “Looks like Prince Charming’s here,” Clarke sang, nudging Octavia.

“Oh man.  Distract him for a minute?  I need to go grab my shoes and purse,”  Octavia said, jumping up from the couch.  She ran down the hallway, leaving an amused Clarke in her wake.

Clarke made her way over to the door, opening it to find a ruggishly handsome man.  “Jesus,” she said, eyeing him up and down.

The man raised an eyebrow.  “You don’t look like your profile picture,” he said with a soft laugh.

Clarke laughed, opening the door wider.  “Well, I hope not.  Octavia’s still getting ready.  Come in,” she said, stepping aside.

Lincoln nodded.  “Thank you,” Clarke shut the door behind him. 

“I’m Clarke, Octavia’s friend.”  Clarke said, extending her hand. 

Lincoln took it, shaking her hand firmly.  “Lincoln,” he gave her a smile.

“Please, make yourself at home,” she gestured towards the couch.  “I’ll go get Octavia,”

After putting his hands in his pockets, Lincoln made his way into the living room.  He sat on the couch, looking around the small space, before settling on watching the TV.

Octavia and Clarke were both amused when they came into the living room only to hear a small, “That dress is hideous,”

Octavia side-eyed Clarke.  “He agrees with us.  He’s already off to a good start,” she winked.

* * *

 

“Octavia!  Octavia, have you seen my socks?  The little blue ones I like?  How cold is it supposed to be in LA?  Should I take my fuzzy socks?”

“Clarke, it’s LA.  It’ll be, like, seventy degrees.”  Octavia rolled her eyes.

“But should I take winter stuff?  In case it gets cold?  But, gosh, winter clothes take up so much room,”  Clarke groaned, digging through her closet.  Her eyes widened.  Stepping out of her closet with two shirts in hand, she looked towards Octavia. “Oh no,”

Octavia cocked an eyebrow.  “What’s up?”

“I have to shave my legs; I’ll be wearing _shorts_ ,”

“Uh,” Octavia said, eyes scanning Clarke’s figure.  “I would hope you’d shave, seeing as you’re about to get some major Lexa lovin’.  It’d probably freak Lexa out if she pulled your pants down and found a wooly mammoth instead of a vagina.  How long has it been since you shaved your coochie, anyway?”

Clarke huffed, throwing a shirt at Octavia, who caught it with a grin.  “Shut up!  Okay, so I have some overhaul to do tonight in the…shaving department.  But,” Clarke shook her head, going back into her closet to dig some more.  “I haven’t had the need to.  No surprise hookups anymore.”

Octavia joined Clarke, pulling out a few dresses hanging up.  “Blue is such a good color on you,” she said, holding up the soft dress.  “Take this one, it’ll be warm enough.  It’s been, like, seventy five degrees the past few days.  Oh!” She grinned, pulling out another hanger.  “Lexa loves black, wear your black sundress on Valentine’s Day.”

“Black on Valentine’s Day?  I don’t know, O, shouldn’t I wear something a little more…festive?”  Clarke asked, pulling out a soft pink dress.  “Like this?”

Octavia shrugged, saying, “Toss it in your suitcase.  But you know,” she grinned, “whatever you wear will just end up on the floor anyway.  Or ripped.  Or missing a few buttons.  Or—”

“I get it, Octavia,” Clarke chuckled. 

“Just reminding you,”

“That I’m about to get laid?”

“Yeah,”

“Thanks, I couldn’t have figured that one out for myself.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, Clarke.  I’m like.  The gay oracle.  I can see the gay coming in the future,”

Clarke guffawed, rolling her eyes.  “Alright, gay sex oracle, whatever you say.  Tell me what’s in my future,”

Octavia hummed reflectively, before raising her finger, as if having her ‘Eureka!’ moment.  “You’re gonna get _laaaaid_ ,” her voice dropped several octaves as she cupped her hands around her mouth.  “Better start eating some pineapples before Lexa eats you,”

“Okay, Octavia,” Clarke shoved her friend lightly.  “Also, that’s just a myth.  The real tip is to stay hydrated—”

Octavia waved her off, saying, “Meh, I don’t care.  Lincoln’s not into oral.”

Now it was Clarke’s turn to look at Octavia incredulously.  “What?”

“Giving _or_ receiving, don’t worry.  He’s a very…hands on kind of guy.  Not mouth-on,”  Octavia shrugged a little.  “I don’t mind.  He’s…very good with his fingers.”

Clarke excitedly swatted at her shoulder.  “You got laid after your date?  Octavia! Why didn’t you tell me?”  She asked, bouncing on her feet.  “How was it?  Was he gentle?  He looks like a big teddy bear,”

Octavia shushed Clarke with a smile.  “I didn’t tell you because when I got home, Bell was out in the living room with you, helping you with your project.  I fell asleep waiting to give you all the _deets_ ,” she winked at Clarke, teasing her.  “But.  He was a gentleman about it.  We had dinner, we drove around downtown a little, I told him to shut up and take me back to his hotel and,” she shrugged, her cheeks flushing.  “A little sex never hurt anyone.”

“Good for you, O!”  Clarke said, hugging the girl quickly.  “What time did you end up getting home?  I was way too distracted to check,”

“Like, three in the morning,”

“And Bellamy didn’t make a fuss?”  Clarke asked, bewildered.  “Huh.  I guess helping me really did distract him.”

Clarke’s phone buzzed.  Pulling it from her pocket, she gave Octavia an apologetic look, before sliding it open.  “Hey, what’s up?”

Octavia continued digging through Clarke’s closet, pulling out bits and pieces for her to throw in her suitcase.  Carelessly, she threw dresses and shirts and shorts over her shoulder onto Clarke’s bed, deciding to lay out some outfits for her.  She tried not to eavesdrop on Clarke’s conversation, really, but whatever Clarke was talking about must’ve been juicy, by the way Clarke gushed, _“No way!”_   and _“You’re joking, right?”_

Once she’d successfully paired up a few outfits—shoes included, because, _yes_ , along with being matchmaker extraordinaire and the gay oracle, Octavia Blake was also _obviously_ a leading-industry fashionista—Clarke hung up the phone and made her way back to Octavia’s side, now at the bed.  “Oh, these are cute,” she said, eyeing the outfits laid out.  “Thanks, O,”

“No problem,” she said, before asking, “Who was that?”

“Hmm?”  Clarke tilted her head.  “Oh!  Anya.  She was calling to tell me about the little fandom we’ve accumulated.  People want more videos with us, I guess.”

“More like, the shipping has began and everyone wants you and Lexa to makeout on camera,” Octavia smirked, wiggling her eyebrows.  “I wouldn’t be opposed to watching that, either.”

“Lecher,” Clarke joked, picking up the outfits Octavia had meticulously folded, setting them in her suitcase.  “I should just get you to do my packing for me.  You’re much more efficient.  And you know what I look good in,”

“Of course I do,”

Clarke zipped around the room, gathering her little travel toiletries, putting them in her suitcase.  “Okay, I’m leaving in,” she glanced at her digital clock on her dresser, “twenty two hours.  Plenty of time to shave.”

Octavia blinked.  “Damn girl, can you braid it down there?  Why the fuck would it take you twenty two hours to shave?  You know—actually, I don’t want to know,”

“By the way, do you have a razor?  I don’t think one will quite cut it,”

“Oh my god Clarke, that’s _disgusting_ ,”

* * *

After a quick round of goodbyes and promises of returning soon, Clarke boarded the plane.

Leave it to Lexa to make sure Clarke got _first class_. 

As she sat on the plane waiting for takeoff, she texted,

_Coach would’ve been fine enough._

_Lexa <3 <3:_  
Only the best for you.  
See you in 6 hours, babe 

Clarke blushed at the term of endearment.  Lexa had yet to call her any pet names—or express any form of admiration, really, past “I miss you,” and “I like your dumb face,” over the phone.

 _Clarke xoxo:_  
I wish this flight was faster.  
But hey, I get to time travel!  
That’s pretty rad.

 _Lexa <3 <3:_  
Clarke, you do know you’re not  
actually time travelling, right?

_Clarke xoxo:_

_Timezones, babe.  
Basically the same thing._

_Lexa <3 <3: _  
Whatever you say :p  
I’ll be waiting for the plane to land!  
I’ll be the one with the embarrassing sign.

 _Clarke xoxo:_  
Oh no.  
What does your sign say, Lexa?

_Lexa <3 <3:  
Guess you’ll have to wait and see ;)_

The speaker buzzed, alerting the passengers to turn off all electronics.  Clarke hastily typed,

_Gotta go, taking off.  
Can’t wait to see you  <3_

_Lexa <3 <3:  
<3_

Just as she was about to turn off her phone, she got a message from Octavia.

 _You know that Khia song?_  
My neck, my back?  
That’s about to be yoooouuu  
:P :P :P  
Have fun tonight, hoe bag

Clarke rolled her eyes, turning off her phone and slipping it into her carry on.

The flight went slowly.

She brought a book to read and music to listen to, but honestly, even in first class, flights were _boring as fuck_.  Especially when she desperately wanted to land already.

Over the last month and a half, all Clarke had been doing was either working her ass off in her classes, taking triple shifts at the hospital for her fellow nursing students, or wondering about just _when_ she’d see Lexa again.

There were bad nights, when Clarke nearly considered breaking the whole thing with Lexa off—nights when they fought, when they didn’t talk through their missing each other, but rather just yelled at the other party for being busy.  Lexa wasn’t the only one with a busy schedule;  Clarke had been very busy, too, and it seemed that every day Lexa had off, Clarke was working, and vice versa.  It didn’t set up for a very good communicative pattern.

There were okay nights, which were most of them, when Clarke and Lexa both were tired and stressed, but they talked on the phone a few times during the day, conversations filled with promises to see each other again soon.

There were good nights, which were the rarity.  The nights where they could both afford to talk on the phone for hours, to laugh and share stories of their days, to watch the same thing on Netflix at the same time as they talked on the phone, their version of “movie night.”  Those were Clarke’s favorites—and the reason she kept pushing.

She really did like Lexa.  A lot.  And it was hard to be with Lexa, without being able to be _with_ Lexa, but in the end, it was worth it.

The arguments of who is in the wrong, the late night phone talks, the quick good morning messages, the voicemails of “please call me back, I’m really missing you,” and the very rare video call that lasted hours and hours deep into the night—they were all worth it.

Lexa was worth it, Clarke decided, and despite how stressful it might be to live in separate states, she was going to give this a shot.  A real, _trying_ shot.  If that meant seeing Lexa only four or five times a year, spending most nights alone, counting down the days until they’d meet again—she would do it.

* * *

Lexa exhaled loudly, thrumming her fingers against the steering wheel.  LA traffic was horrible, even in the evenings; especially this close to the airport.

Really, it should only take her about three or four more minutes to get off the exit she needed to, but she knew she’d be in the car for a solid fifteen minutes, at least.

Seeing traffic at a standstill, Lexa sighed.  She reached over into her purse on the passenger seat, digging around until she found what she was looking for.  With a small smile—victory was hers!—she pulled out her travel camera, and set up the sticky mini-tripod on her dash.  “Might as well vlog and complain to pass the time,” she whispered to herself, setting up her little camera.  As traffic moved forward slightly, Lexa locked the camera in place, pressing the on button.  She stepped on the gas, inching her way up a few feet, before coming to a stop again.  With that, she pressed the record button.

“Hi guys!”  She chirped, looking at the little camera.  “As you can see, I’m still in LA.  It’s getting pretty dark, I hope the camera focuses in well enough,” she mumbled, before shaking her head.  “Anyway, I’m on my way to pick up Clarke—yes, I know, I can _hear_ the keyboards clicking right now.  I have a super embarrassing sign for her.  She’ll hate it.  Or love it.  Probably both.”

She pressed on the gas once more, this time getting further than she had before.  “LA traffic sucks, I never thought I’d be un worse traffic than New York.  I can’t understand how so many YouTubers live here.  It’s definitely a beautiful place, I’ll give them that, but this traffic is _horrendous_.   And I love driving, it’s already frustrating enough to hardly be able to drive in New York.  This is next-level traffic.”

She went on about the traffic for a few more minutes, until she got back to the topic of Clarke.

“Yes, anyway.  Clarke.  I’m super excited to see her, you guys.  It’s nearly been two months,” she said, shaking her head.  “Between her school and my working, it’s been hard to keep in touch,” she mumbled, looking down at the steering wheel.  “Long distance relationships are hard,” she admitted.  “Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it.  You know.  All the fighting that happens because of distance, of schedule conflicts.  Sometimes I wonder if we’re just in over our heads,” she shrugged then, looking back up at the camera.  “But it’s worth it, you guys.  I mean, most nights we’re either pissed off that we can’t talk or we’re too tired _to_ talk, but the nights we do get—our little internet date nights…they’re so good, you guys.  I’m glad you all seem to like Clarke, ‘cause I want her around for a while.  Hopefully she’ll be in plenty of videos.  I—” her cheeks dusted pink.  “I like Clarke a lot.  I like her sleepy voice and her bedhead, I like her when she’s yelling at me for being so busy—she’s sort of hot when she yells, you know—and I like her when she’s crying because she misses me.  Not to say, like, I like when she _cries_ , you know,” she laughed awkwardly, before clearing her throat.  “I mean to say, I like her all the time.  Even when I’m mad at her for being mad at me for being mad at her—or when she’s crying on the phone, or laughing about something stupid Octavia said, or venting about a fight she had with her mom, or sending me stupid cat videos from tumblr.  I don’t know where I’m going with this, I’m pretty much just rambling,” she laughed, finally making it to her destination.  She pulled into the large parking lot, and began looking for a good spot to park.  “But I like Clarke.  I like her a lot.  I like her all the time.  I miss her.  I get mad at her when she’s mad at me.  I admit, I don’t put as much effort in as I should.  I get tired from working, I forget that I need to work not just in my office, but with _Clarke,_ too.  But I really want to try to get better.  To work at this more.  Because I am so, so happy she’s agreed to come spend the weekend with me.  I don’t deserve it, not after the amount of time I’ve lacked putting into her, into _us._   But she—she’s something.”  As an afterthought, Lexa added, “And I guess I just want to say, if you’re in a LDR too, give it a chance, cause right now, I’m more excited to see her than I’ve _ever_ been excited in my whole life.  I’m glad we’ve worked through every fight and sad night and date night up to now.”  She glanced at the camera once more.  “This is never seeing the light of day,” she laughed, before clicking it off.

She looked at the clock on her dash as she pulled into a semi-decent spot.  She still had a good fifteen minutes before Clarke was scheduled to land.  With a little squeak of excitement, she tossed her camera back in her purse, leaving her tripod on the dash, reaching back into the backseat to pull out her crudely made sign.  She rolled it up neatly, tucking it under her arm, as she grabbed her purse and hopped out of the car.  The air was cool, the beginnings of night creeping into the warm LA evenings.  Quickly locking her car, Lexa hastily made her way inside, bustling through the sea breeze encasing her, enticing her senses.  “Beach,” Lexa mumbled, nodding her head.  “We should go to the beach Sunday.”

After checking with the receptionist at one of the many desks, Lexa managed to find her way to Clarke’s gate.  She sat in the waiting area with a few other people, some carrying small signs of their own.  She sat for what felt like hours, the anticipation of seeing Clarke again so soon preventing her from thinking of much else at all.

Instead of worrying why the plane wasn’t on time—airports were notorious for being late, after all—Lexa scrolled through her Twitter feed, amused by many of the comments people left for her, and the things they tagged her in.

She saw a particularly cute little sketch of her and Clarke, from their video together way back in December, which made her smile.  She retweeted it,  amused with the instant notifications that popped up.  Her viewers were crazy fast, on top of every little thing she retweeted.

 _@liliko90: omg!! So cute!! When r u seeing clark again?_  
@gigihadid556678: fanart ??? of clexa???? yes  
@cxmmanderbxdass: lexa, bro, we are THIRSTY for Clexa, tell me u  & clrk are gonna b 2gether for vday  
@lilyluna01: otp otp otp

The concept of ‘shipping’ was weird to her, but flattering in a way.  Somewhat creepy, but flattering nonetheless.

(She drew the line at those crazed fangirls’ explicit fics, though.  She made the mistake of clicking on one of those one time, and had felt her cheeks burning hot after hastily tapping away, realizing exactly what someone had written about _her_ personal life.  _That_ was when it started to get a little weird.)

She was snapped back to reality when the speakers overhead came on, announcing the arrival of Clarke’s flight.  She clicked out of Twitter, sending a quick message to Anya to tell her she’d be picking up Clarke now, and stood with the rest of the crowd around her, waiting for Clarke to step through the gate. 

Once the crowd of people began flooding from the gate, Lexa unraveled the sign, holding it up in front of her. 

“Anya, this was a stupid idea,” she laughed to herself, shaking her head.  “Clarke’s going to _kill me_ ,”

When a familiar flash of blonde caught her eye, the breath left Lexa’s lungs.  She looked even prettier than Lexa remembered leaving her—all curly hair, bright eyes, yoga pants and sweatshirts.  She saw Clarke’s eyes dart around the large room, searching for her until—

Their eyes met.  Clarke smiled widely, hurriedly stepping forward, until she saw Lexa’s sign.  With a disbelieving look on her face, Clarke glanced from the sign, back to Lexa’s face, and back to the sign again.

**_Clarke Griffin, report for booty!_ **

Of all the reactions Lexa had been expecting, she _hadn’t_ expected for Clarke to fall over—quite literally—onto one of the hard, plastic waiting area chairs and grasp her stomach as she laughed.

Lexa’s eyes widened, and she ran to Clarke’s side, half the room away.  “Are you okay?”

Clarke, still laughing, waved her hands furiously.  “Your sign—oh my god, Lexa!”

Lexa laughed a little, too, feeling the heat leave her face.  “Yeah, well, Anya had a hand in it.”

“Oh, I love it,” Clarke muttered, wiping her eyes with both hands.  She pushed herself back up, standing to meet Lexa’s height.  “I missed you,”

“I missed you, too,”

Clarke seized Lexa, wrapping her arms tightly around the taller girl.  “I’m _so glad_ to finally see you,”

A little caught off guard, Lexa dropped her sign.  Quickly, she wrapped her arms around Clarke.  “Me too.”

Clarke, not letting go of Lexa, pulled her head back just enough to press her lips against Lexa’s.  “I missed doing that,” she mumbled, her lips still on Lexa’s.

Lexa smiled.  “Me too,” she leaned forward, deepening the kiss.

Lexa could’ve been content to stay there all day, holding Clarke, pressing chaste kisses against her soft lips, but a small “Excuse me,” forced her to pull away.

Lexa frowned, taking a deep breath.  “Look, if you’re going to say something about us _homos_ kissing,”

The woman hastily waved her hands.  “No! Not at all, I just—I work here, I need to ask you two to move on, we’ve got a flight boarding and need to clear the area.  Please, feel free to make out in the main hall, all kinds of love is great to see when people reunite.  Just—love each other outside of this room, please.”

Clarke laughed, tugging on Lexa’s hand.  “C’mon, _homo_ , come kiss me at the baggage claim.”

As they walked, Lexa slipped her arm around Clarke’s hips, tugging her close to her side.  They stood at the baggage claim, Clarke tucked under Lexa’s arm, as Lexa peppered kisses on Clarke’s cheek.  “I’m so glad you could come,”

“Me too,” Clarke said, wrapping her own arms around Lexa’s torso.  “Sucks we both have to work a little bit of the time I’m here.”

“But, hey,” Lexa said, nudging Clarke slightly.  “I _did_ promise we’d have Sunday and Monday off.  BuzzFeed’s giving me a break,”

“I’m certainly looking forward to it,” Clarke said, before her bright suitcase caught her eye.  “Oh!”  She said, pulling away from Lexa.  She ran quickly, grabbing it off the conveyor belt before anyone else could grab it.

Just as the two were ready to depart from the airport, a group of girls ran up to them.  “You’re Lexa, right?  Lexa Woods?”

Lexa, arm around Clarke’s shoulders, nodded.  “Yes, that’s me.  Can I help you?”

The small group looked between each other, giggling.  “Can you—can you take a picture with us?  We’re huge fans.”

Lexa offered them a small smile, slipping her hand off Clarke’s shoulders.  Pressing a soft kiss to Clarke’s cheek, she said, “Give me a minute,”

“Of course,” Clarke said, nodding towards the girls.  “Your fans await.”

“You’re Clarke, right?”  One asked, looking up at her.

“Yeah,” Clarke laughed, a little nervously.

“Can—will you be in the picture too?”  Another piped up.

Lexa smirked.  “They like you, Clarke,”

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “I think they like _us_ ,” she looked back at the girls.  “Sure, if you want me to ruin the picture.  I look horrible.”

“Nonsense, you look beautiful, as always,” Lexa muttered, pulling Clarke back to her side. 

“Oh my gosh, you guys are just, so cute!”

Clarke flushed.  “You’re sweet.”

“Okay, girls, let’s take some pictures!”

* * *

In hindsight, Clarke shouldn’t have been surprised when, by the time they arrived back at Lexa’s hotel room, those pictures they’d taken at the airport had already gone viral.  “Lexa, they’re cropping those girls out to make it just pictures of us,” Clarke laughed, shaking her head as she slipped her shoes off.

“Hmm, really?”  Lexa asked, not particularly paying attention to what Clarke said.

“Yeah.  This set’s got, like, two thousand notes already.  Your fans are thirsty for ‘clexa,’” she laughed.

“Really?” Lexa slipped her own shoes off, walking up behind Clarke.  Wrapping her arms around Clarke’s torso, she peered over Clarke’s shoulder, down at her phone.  “We look good together.”

“ _You_ look good, Miss ‘I’m Always Hot.’  Meanwhile, I look like a hobo,”

“Prettiest hobo I know, then,” Lexa whispered, pressing a kiss on Clarke’s pulse point. 

Clarke inhaled sharply.  With a little smirk on her lips, she ignored Lexa’s obvious attempt to rile her up.  “Maybe,” Clarke said, mindlessly scrolling through her tumblr dashboard.  “Oh, look, someone actually kept those girls in a photoset.  Look how cute they are, they’re so excited to meet you,”

Lexa bit down on Clarke’s skin slightly, dragging her teeth.  Clarke ignored the hitch in her own breath as she kept scrolling.

“Do you follow lots of blogs that post about our interactions, Clarke?”  Lexa asked, mumbling against Clarke’s skin.

“Perhaps.  It’s kind of cute.  A little weird.  But people really like you, Lex.”

“They like _you_ too.  Not as much as _I_ like you, though.”

“Yeah?”  Clarke asked, turning to face Lexa. 

Lexa’s arms, still around Clarke, held her tighter.  Her hands splayed down Clarke’s lower back, fingertips playing with the flap of fabric on Clarke’s yoga pants.  “I think I like you more than any of your fans,” Lexa teased.

“You aren’t one of my fans, then?”

“I’m your number one fan, actually.  I knew you _before_ you were popular,” 

“In that case, I guess you are, aren’t you?”  Clarke breathed, suddenly all too close to Lexa.

Lexa didn’t respond.  Instead, she pushed Clarke up against the hotel room’s small hallway wall, hands going to Clarke’s sides.  Greedily, she pressed her lips against Clarke’s.  Her tongue dragged against Clarke’s bottom lip, pleading, and Clarke opened her mouth slightly, kissing Lexa back with just as much force as her hand came to Lexa’s head, gripping her hair, pushing her forward into her mouth. 

Lexa’s hands moved from Clarke’s sides down, dragging down her long torso, diving beneath her sweatshirt, and the thin tee underneath.  Lexa’s hands were cold, a disparity against Clarke’s warm skin, but oh, so soft.  Lexa kneaded at the skin slightly, inching her way up ever so slowly, fingertips resting on the underwire of Clarke’s bra.  Clarke let out a small moan into the kiss, opening her mouth wider; Lexa took advantage, kissing her deeper, pinning her firmly to the wall.  Her fingers left Clarke’s bra, opting instead to trail back down Clarke’s stomach, grabbing at the end of Clarke’s sweatshirt.  Clarke raised her arms, allowing Lexa to pull both the sweatshirt and her tee shirt off, discarding them carelessly by the door.  As soon as the fabric hit the floor, Lexa’s mouth was on Clarke’s once more, pressing sloppy, needy kisses into soft, wet lips.  Lexa’s hands quickly made their way behind Clarke’s back, undoing the bra clasp with ease, and Clarke shrugged out of the white material quickly.  She gasped into the kiss, feeling Lexa’s hands on her, kneading her breasts softly.  Clarke let her head fall against the wall with a thud as Lexa’s lips left her own, sucking into her jaw, nipping at her neck, her collarbone. 

Wet heat encased Clarke’s breast, and she moaned; Lexa’s tongue slid ever so slowly over pink skin, earning a small buck of Clarke’s hips in return.  “I missed touching you,” Lexa whispered, dragging wet, open mouthed kisses from Clarke’s breasts to her neck, back down again.  “I missed tasting you.  I’ve been waiting _months_ to do this, to feel your skin under my own, to hear you whimpering beneath me,”

Clarke swallowed hard, letting her eyes fall closed.  She didn’t know—she didn’t know Lexa could _dirty talk_ , and _fuck_ , it was turning her on.  Lexa let one hand fall from Clarke’s side, down to the top of her yoga pants, slipping underneath the tight material to find soft, cotton underwear.  “I missed feeling how wet you get, I missed your thighs around my head, my name on your lips,”

“Fuck, Lexa,” Clarke moaned, canting her hips.  Lexa grinned, tugging the black material from Clarke’s hips.  Slowly, Lexa knelt, giving Clarke a show to remember as she pulled her pants down, letting them pool at her ankles.  Lexa kissed the inside of Clarke’s leg, dragging her lips from Clarke’s knee to her upper thigh.  With bated breath, Lexa hooked her fingers in the sides of Clarke’s underwear, tugging it down quickly to join the mess of fabric at Clarke’s feet.

Clarke nearly lost it, just from watching Lexa look up at her from between her legs.  She gave a shaky nod, letting her own eyes flutter closed and her head fall against the wall once more.

Lexa grinned, pressing a last, open mouthed kiss against the smooth skin of Clarke’s thigh.  Her hands trailed up Clarke’s legs, over her calves, the backs of her thighs, dancing along pale skin like skaters on ice, stopping at the fleshy skin under her ass.  Fingers gripped Clarke’s skin gently, as Lexa leaned forward, tongue flattening against Clarke.

“Fuck,” Clarke panted, her own hands coming to Lexa’s hair.  She guided Lexa with ease, tugging her right where she wanted her, bending her knees, bucking her hips, doing _anything_ to get more friction where she needed it.  Lexa’s fingers massaged at Clarke’s skin, pushing her closer to her mouth.  Clarke let out a strangled cry, pleasure bursting through every bone in her body as Lexa finally, _finally_ lapped at Clarke’s clit.  “God, Lexa, don’t stop,”

With a smug smile, Lexa flicked her tongue once more, enjoying the way Clarke responded.  Either slowly, or all at once—Clarke couldn’t tell—Lexa unraveled Clarke, making her come undone with her tongue alone, drinking her up like a parched man drinks every last drop of water he can.  With her hands tugging on Lexa’s hair, hips jerking Clarke came, calling out a hoarse, “Fuck, Lexa,”

Still on her knees, Lexa smirked, wiping the back of her hand across her drenched mouth.  She pressed a soft kiss against Clarke’s bare stomach, before standing, lips latching on to Clarke’s once more.  “How’s that for an ‘I missed you?’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again. I'll try to get a chapter up before another month passes, I've been super busy!
> 
> Hopefully that little sex scene made up for the long wait???
> 
> Come talk to me/pester me to write at aihedas.tumblr.com please I beg of you, I'm so lazy


	12. The One With the Valentine's Day Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa spend Valentine's Day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'm sorry for going MIA. More will be disclosed in the notes at the bottom.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy!

Sunday morning, Clarke woke to soft lips pressed against her skin.  Feeling the tickle of warm breath against her neck, Clarke smiled. 

"Good morning, Clarke," Lexa whispered, pressing kisses up Clarke's neck.

"Good morning indeed," Clarke breathed contentedly.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Lexa mumbled, a smile on her lips.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Clarke gave a little laugh.  "What time is it?"

"About seven,"

"In the morning?"  Clarke asked, finally opening her eyes.  "What on earth are you doing up this early on your day off?"

"Well, I've got to make the most of the time we have together," Lexa smiled.  "I'm sorry I was working all day yesterday.  I want to make it up to you."  She bit her lip, before saying, "Today's all about us,"

"I can get on board with that," Clarke hummed.  Turning onto her side, she nuzzled her nose into Lexa's  skin.  "But can we go back to sleep?  Just for a little while?  Then it can be all about us,"

"No, babe," Lexa laughed, kissing the crown of her head.  "I've got today all planned out."

"And our day starts at seven?"  Clarke whined, pulling Lexa closer to her body.  "But you're so soft and warm and this bed is so comfortable…"

With a sigh, Lexa said, "You're ruining my schedule, Griffin,"

"No one starts a schedule at seven in the morning, Woods," Clarke teased.

"Clarke," Lexa pleaded, pulling back.  "I want to spend as much time as I can with you.  And I've got a whole list of things I want to show you and places you'll love and—a whole bunch of things for the day," she rambled, giddiness evident in her voice.

Pulling back slightly, Clarke assessed her girlfriend's face.  She really did have the cutest grin right now—the most adorable twinkle in her eyes.  Rolling her eyes slightly, Clarke relented.  "Fine, fine, I'll get up.  But only because you're so cute."

Lexa let out a small _yay_! that was utterly too adorable for Clarke to handle so early in the morning.  Lexa peppered her cheeks with kisses before sitting upright.  "Oh, Clarke?"  She asked once she stepped out of bed, turning back around to face the blonde.  "Is it okay if I vlog today?"

With a small smile, Clarke nodded.  "Yeah.  Sure," she said, trying to sound nonchalant, but the truth was—she loved Lexa vlogging.  It's how she kept up-to-date with Lexa while they were separated, and going back to watch the vlog Lexa had made of them back in December was the best way Clarke found to ease the ache of loneliness.  She'd secretly hoped Lexa would film them together again, so that she'd have something to watch to hold her over until the next time they could be together.

A few minutes after Lexa had walked into the bathroom, Clarke trudged out of bed, herself.  Lexa stood at the sink, hair already pulled back into a neat braid, brushing her teeth.  After pulling her night shirt overhead, Clarke bent over the bathtub, adjusting the water temperature.  Looking over her shoulder, she asked, "Want to join?"

Lexa made a face of consideration, but shook her head after a moment's pause.  She quickly spit the toothpaste into the sink, before rinsing the brush off.  "No, thank you.  I showered last night,"

"Passing up sex on Valentine's Day?"  Clarke cocked an eyebrow.

Lexa stepped closer to Clarke, placing her hands on Clarke's bare waist.  "We'll have plenty of time for that later," she smiled, gripping Clarke's hips.  Softly, she pressed her lips against Clarke's, before pulling away.  "Schedule," Lexa said, tapping Clarke's skin.  "We need to stick to it."

Clarke mock-saluted, putting on a façade of seriousness.  "Sir, yes sir!"  Lexa rolled her eyes.  "Whatever the commander says goes,"  Clarke teased, pulling back.  "I'll shower quick," she said, before stepping in.

Quietly, as Clarke started humming in the shower, Lexa snuck out of the bathroom and into the open space of the bedroom.  Glancing over at the bathroom door to make sure Clarke was still in there, Lexa started rummaging through her suitcase.

After convincing Clarke to fly out to see her for the weekend, she'd gone to Anya for help.  With Valentine's Day approaching and the spontaneous decision to have Clarke visit, Lexa was left giftless for her girlfriend.  She didn't quite know what to get her—something such as flowers and chocolate would be too commonplace, and Clarke was anything but _common_.  She needed something special, and while she had an idea of what she wanted to do, she didn't quite know if it was too sudden, too overbearing.

Fumbling with the small blue box in her hands, Lexa picked up her phone and dialed her sister's number.

 _"Lexa, what do you want?"_   Anya grumbled on the other end of the line.  _"You better be hungover in a ditch on the side of the road in Kentucky if you're calling me this early."_

"You're pleasant as always," Lexa deadpanned, running her thumb over the box gently.  "Am I making a mistake?"

_"Most likely.  Our mother is notorious for fucking up everything, we probably inherited it from her."_

"Ahn, I'm serious.  Is this going to freak Clarke out?"  She made sure to keep her voice hushed.

 _"What, the ring?  Maybe.  I don't know,"_ Anya yawned.  _"It's just a promise ring, Lex.  I don't think she'll flip out."_   Anya paused, before adding, _"Though she will freak out if she knows you dropped five grand on it, so probably don't bring the price up."_

Lexa gave a little grumble at that.  "Hey, everywhere else's promise rings were super cheesy.  Plus, every girl loves Tiffany's."

_"You’re basically her sugar daddy."_

"Oh, shut up," Lexa murmured.  "Should I return it?  Is it too early?"

_"Well, a promise ring doesn't have to mean anything more than 'maybe someday,' Lexa.  I think it's sweet.  Sickeningly sweet, actually.  Like, I'll probably throw up thinking about it sweet.  Like, I think I just got cavities thinking about that damn ring.  I'm going to forward you the bill from the dentist."_

Lexa rolled her eyes, ignoring her sister's babbling.  "Just tell me if you think it'll scare her off,"

 _"Maybe,"_ Anya said, bluntly. _"You've only been dating two months.  If you don't, you know, preface it with what exactly you're promising, she'll probably think you're promising an engagement.  Which, hello, is stupid."_

"Yeah.  Yeah, you're right.  I should just—"

 _"I'm not saying return the damn thing,"_ Anya gave an exasperated sigh.  _"What I'm saying is, you know, tell her you're promising to keep this thing going.  A promise ring doesn't mean marriage one day, it just means you're making a promise.  Fuck the system, you're not promising her an engagement, not yet."_

"I don't know," Lexa hummed.  "I'll—I'll keep it in my purse.  Think about it.  If it feels right…" she trailed off, before sighing.  "Sorry for waking you. I'm nervous."

_"Really?  I couldn't tell."_

Lexa huffed.  "Go back to sleep, bitch."

" _Love you too, Lexie-Loo,"_   Anya laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, get some rest.  I'll see you tomorrow.  Clarke misses you."

_"Alright, Lex, see you then."_

Lexa hung up the phone, tossing it onto the bed.  At the sound of the shower turning off, she scrambled over to where her purse was, on the desk.  Hastily, she threw the box in, zipping it up quickly.  She turned, watching as Clarke stepped out of the bathroom in a towel.  "Well lookie here," Clarke said, raising her eyebrows, "Commander Lexa isn't ready.  I thought we had a schedule,"

Lexa grinned, moving over to where Clarke was.  Her heart was racing, thinking about the gift in her purse—would it be too soon?  Too much?  Would it freak Clarke out?

"Clarke, don't get sassy," she muttered, walking over towards a particularly soaked Clarke.

Clarke, with wet hair matted against her neck.

Clarke, with her face covered in tiny droplets of water.

Clarke, with a bead of sweat from her steamy shower rolling down her skin, disappearing in the valley of her breasts.

Lexa couldn't resist wrapping her arms around Clarke, pulling her close.  Couldn’t resist pressing a series of soft kisses against her pink lips.  Couldn't resist letting her hands fall down Clarke's back, resting on the curve of her backside. 

Clarke grinned against Lexa's lips, pulling away.  "Uh-uh-uh," Clarke chastised, giving Lexa a wink.  "There's plenty of time for that later," Clarke said, dropping her towel. 

Lexa was beginning to regret her decisions.

She wanted to say "Fuck the schedule, I want to fuck _you_ ," but managed to keep her mouth shut.

Figuratively, that is.  Her mouth, in all actuality, was parted slightly, watching Clarke walk lazily back into the bathroom, where she started drying her hair. 

It wasn't shocking in the least that her mouth got so dry.

She watched as Clarke skillfully multitasked, using the hairdryer with one hand while she brushed her teeth with the other.

Taking a deep breath, Lexa walked over to the closet.  "You're so gay," she wheezed, pulling the doors open.  Grabbing a hanger off the rack, Lexa laid the dress out on the bed.  She wasn't one for dresses, normally, but she would make an exception for today.  After making sure it was neatly laid against the bed, she meandered her way over to her suitcase, pulling out a particularly pretty set of underwear she'd been saving for a special occasion.  Slipping the red material on gently, she fastened the clasp behind her back.  She stepped into the lacy bottoms before moving back to the dress.

Clarke walked out as Lexa had just pulled the straps of the dress up all the way.  Walking up behind her quietly, Clarke admired the pale bow on the back of the dress.  "Let me see the dress, pretty girl," she murmured.

Lexa turned, feeling her neck heat up at the pet name.  Clarke admired her, a small smile forming on her lips.  It was a simple dress, no pattern at all, so soft a pink it was almost white.  "Should I change?"  Lexa asked, feeling quite nervous under the intensity of Clarke's gaze.

Clarke shook her head slowly.  "No," she whispered, stepping closer.  "You look beautiful," she rested her hands on Lexa's arms, giving them a squeeze.  "I never took you for a pink girl,"

"I'm not, really," Lexa laughed, glancing down at the pleats in the skirt.  "But I know you like pink, and it is pretty festive,"

"You look stunning," Clarke assured her, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.  "Go do your makeup, I'll join you in a minute, okay?  I'm going to get dressed,"

Lexa nodded, making her way back into the bathroom.  She rubbed her hand on the steam-covered mirror before pulling out products from her makeup bag, setting them out on the counter.

Clarke shook her head with a smile, watching Lexa dab on foundation.  She turned back to her own suitcase, digging through it.  After a few minutes of deliberation, she decided on an underwear set Octavia had packed, assuring her it'd make her look _"sexier than Gal Gadot doing a Playboy shoot."_

She pulled a soft red dress out from her suitcase, cringing at the wrinkles in it.  She always was bad at remembering to unpack things that need to be hung up.  After rummaging through the duffel again, her luck was no better with the black dress she'd packed.  And there was no way she'd wear pink after seeing Lexa in such a stunning dress—

An idea came to mind, seeing the open closet.  Surely Lexa wouldn't mind?

She walked over, searching through the various clothes Lexa had hung up.  Her eyes fell on a particular dress, deep red in color.  So red, it almost looked purple; like Merlot, she thought.  She ran her hands down the fabric, feeling its soft velvety texture.  She grinned, pulling it off the rack.  Gently, she slipped into the dress, tugging it up her hips.  While she and Lexa weren't exactly the same size, they were close enough.  What Lexa lacked for in Clarke's chest department, she made up for in height, giving a small compromise in the clothing they could share. 

Clarke walked over to the bathroom, feeling a little apprehensive.  "Is this okay?"  She asked, gesturing to herself.  Lexa turned, dropping the brush in her hand.

Lexa's eyes widened.  Clarke, in her dress.  Her favorite dress, to be particular.  The dress she'd been planning on changing into later in the day, something fancier.

She had to say, it looked better on Clarke than it ever had on her.

Clarke took the silence as a bad sign.  "Oh, it isn't, is it?  Sorry, I should've asked—"

"No, no," Lexa quickly assured her, doing her best to pick her jaw up from the ground.  "It's just—you look great,"

"Really?"  Clarke asked, glancing down.  "Is it too dressy for what you have planned?"

Lexa laughed, nodding.  "Yeah.  A little.  But who cares?  You look amazing,"

"Should I change then?  All my dresses are wrinkly—"

"If you want to," Lexa said.  "I don't care.  I mean, it's a little early in the day for something so," she paused, trying to figure out how to word it.  Finally, she just shook her head, breathing out, _"Sexy,"_

Clarke couldn't help but grin at the flush on Lexa's cheeks.

Lexa cleared her throat.  "I have another dress you'd like.  You can change into that one, later.  I have fancy plans for us this evening,"  She led Clarke back to the closet, rummaging through the hangers until she pulled out a dress of a similar color, though shorter and looser.  Not at all shapely like the bodycon dress Clarke was currently in.  This dress was just as deep red in color, though cotton.  "Do you like it?" 

Clarke nodded.  Taking it from Lexa, she gave her a quick peck on the lips.  "This is a beautiful color.  I can see why you have two dresses in it,"

"It looks stunning on you," Lexa admitted, leaning in for another kiss.  "Get dressed.  I want to do your makeup,"

Clarke grinned as Lexa walked back into the bathroom, picking up the brush she'd dropped earlier.  Quickly, she changed, joining Lexa in the bathroom.  "Have your way with me, beauty guru," she said, taking a seat on the toilet.

Lexa chuckled as she finished her own makeup, twirling the mascara stick one last time.  Setting the pink tool down, she turned to face Clarke.  Placing two fingers under Clarke's chin, she lifted Clarke's head slightly, humming.  "Your complexion is a bit lighter than mine," she murmured, before digging through her makeup bag.  "I think we may have to go with powder instead of foundation.  It'd be too dark.  But first," she said, pulling out a small tube, "Primer."

Clarke nodded in return, not sure what else to do.  Lexa made quick work of smoothing the white cream over Clarke's face with a sponge, making sure it blended into her skin.  Next, Lexa took out a blue brush with a little bow on it—utterly feminine and cute.  Clarke smiled at the tool.  Lexa dabbed the brush into the powder, before blowing on it gently.  She hummed as she covered Clarke's face in the powder.

"What powder is this? I can hardly feel it,"

"TooFaced," she murmured, smiling.  "I like their products the best,"

Clarke hummed.

"Do you know anything about makeup, Clarke?"  Lexa asked, trying not to sound judgmental.  It was an honest question.

Luckily, Clarke understood, ignoring the way Lexa's cheeks flared up at the implication of her words.  "Not as much as you," Clarke admitted.  "I never buy real makeup.  Only the drugstore stuff.  My mom never wears makeup, never has, so I never really learned from her.  Aurora did, and Octavia does, but it just never interested me as much.  Usually just some mascara and chapstick is the way to go," Clarke laughed.  "The occasional special event means I fail at doing a cat eye with Octavia's liquid liner.  I can use the stick stuff, though.  The pencils?  Is that what they’re called?"

Lexa nodded.

"Yeah.  Those.  They’re easy.  Just line and go.  I mean, I can use liquid liner, too.  I just can't do a cat eye."

"Would you like me to do one on you?"  Lexa asked, pulling back as she finished applying the powder.

Clarke smiled.  "Sure.  I've always wanted to see what it'd look like."

Lexa returned the smile, putting the powder back in her makeup bag.  She pulled a few more items out, laying them out on the sink in the order she'd use them.

She took her time contouring Clarke's face, making sure not to do it with a heavy hand.  Next, she instructed Clarke to close her eyes, as she applied a particularly neutral and soft palette to her eyes.  After shaping her brows and doing her lashes, Lexa pulled out the liquid liner.  "Ready?"

Clarke nodded, letting her eyes fall shut.

Lexa went slowly, only having done this to another person once or twice in her life.  That time had been a few years ago, when Anya had broken her dominant hand when she'd punched a guy in the face—with the hand being all swollen and bruised, she'd hardly the capacity to line her eyelids.  After a few minutes of carefully planned movements, Lexa stepped back, admiring her work.  "Open," she said, and Clarke did as told. 

Lexa positively beamed.  "It looks great,"

"Can I see?"

"Not yet," Lexa insisted, reaching for the last item.  She uncapped the lipstick, setting the cap on the sink.  It was a nude color, a few shades darker than Clarke's skin.  She applied the matte lipstick with ease, no need for a liner of any sort.  After deciding she was pleased with her work, Lexa piled all her things back into her makeup bag.  "You can look now," she said, offering her hand for Clarke to take.

Clarke smiled, slipping her palm in Lexa's, standing from the toilet lid.  She moved over next to Lexa, looking in the mirror.  Her eyebrows rose in shock.  "Holy fucking bat balls," she said, blinking at her reflection.  "I look hot,"

"You always look hot," Lexa chuckled.

"You're, like, insanely good,"

"Well, it is part of my job," she laughed, giving Clarke a small kiss on the cheek.  "What are you doing with your hair?"

"Do you think I can leave it as is?"

Lexa nodded.  "Your natural hair is very pretty.  All wavy and loose,"

"Good.  Then let’s get going, Commander, I thought we had a schedule!"  Clarke teased, pulling Lexa out of the bathroom.  They each slipped on a pair of shoes, grabbing their purses.  After making sure the box was secure in her purse, and making sure she had all the travel vlogging things she needed, Lexa nodded.  "Let's go," she smiled, reaching for Clarke's hand.

Once they made it to the car, Lexa made quick work of setting up one of her many cameras on the dashboard.  She focused it so the camera caught them both in the picture.  "You good with me vlogging, you said?"

"Of course," Clarke grinned.  "Is it safe while you're driving?"

"I've done it loads before," Lexa waved.  "Totally safe.  I always keep my eyes on the road,"

"Good," Clarke nodded. 

Lexa started up the car, then clicked record.  "Hey guys," she waved to the camera, "I'm here with my beautiful girlfriend Clarke,"

Clarke gave a sheepish wave, saying nothing.  She still wasn't exactly used to the whole millions-of-people-would-see-her-every-move sort of thing.

"Doesn't she look lovely?"  Lexa said, pulling out of the hotel parking lot.  "We're off to go—well, I don’t want to ruin the surprise for Clarke,"

Clarke rolled her eyes at that, glancing over at Lexa.  "Why won't you tell me?"

"It’s a surprise," Lexa hummed.  "We're together for Valentine's Day," she said, looking briefly at the camera as she came to a red light.  "And I have a lot planned for Clarke while we're in LA,"

Lexa rambled on for a while, making jokes with Clarke as the two drove.  Clarke eased up a little, growing more comfortable with the idea of talking to an audience rather than just to Lexa.  She grinned as she made a particularly vulgar comment about Lexa's appearance.

"Clarke!  Kids watch my videos," Lexa said, her cheeks blushing furiously.

"What?  They won't know what it means,"

Lexa rolled her eyes, pulling into the parking lot.  "We’re here," she announced, looking over at Clarke.

Clarke grinned, reaching across the midsection of the car to press a kiss against Lexa's lips.  "Where exactly are we?"

"Come on," Lexa said, nodding her head to the door.  She clicked the camera off quickly, grabbing it off the stand, before getting out of the car.  She made her way to Clarke's side, opening the door for her.

"What a gentlewoman," Clarke smiled, slinging her bag over her shoulder. 

Lexa lead her indoors, smiling at the way Clarke lit up.  "This place is so cute!"

Lexa nodded.  "It’s an adorable diner.  They have the best breakfast here—I found it the first day I was here, Luna recommended it."

Clarke grinned, grabbing Lexa's hand.

After a long breakfast, the two found themselves at the Huntington Art Gallery.  Lexa made sure to catch on tape how enamored Clarke was by all the art, smiling at the way Clarke's face lit up seeing all the paintings.  After strolling through the majority of the gallery, Lexa led Clarke over to the botanical gardens, a place Luna had told her to come.  They strolled through the gardens hand in hand, admiring the beautiful shrubbery and flowers.

There were more than enough gardens for them to walk through—so many, in fact, Clarke was growing tired by the time they'd made it through two.  When they finally reached the rose garden, the place Lexa had been most excited to see, they settled on a bench overlooking the white roses.  Clarke smiled contentedly as Lexa paused the recording, setting the camera beside her on the bench.

She was debating with herself whether or not to do it.

It would be pretty, for sure, here—surrounded by her favorite flowers, the warm sun embracing them. 

If Clarke noticed her fidgeting, she didn't say anything.

Inhaling deeply, Lexa turned towards Clarke.  "I want to give you something,"

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, looking at Lexa.  "You don't have to,"

"I want to," Lexa said, feeling her heart thumping in her chest.  "Can I?"

Clarke smiled softly.  "Well, my gift for you is back in the hotel."

"That's okay," Lexa said, reaching for Clarke's hand. Their palms together, Lexa gave Clarke's hand a squeeze, before reaching for her purse.  She fumbled with the zipper, hands shaking as she opened the bag, pulling out the tiny blue box.

Clarke hit her arm.  "No way!"  She said, spying the blue box. Her mouth dropped open wide.

"Don't freak out," Lexa said, placing the box in Clarke's hands. "It's not an engagement ring, so breathe,"

Clarke nodded a little at that, letting out a shaky breath.  "Sorry.  You usually see a Tiffany's box and think," she swallowed.  Looking up into Lexa's eyes, she saw the nervousness on her face.  "Lex, what is it?"

Lexa clenched her jaw, nodding towards the box.  "Open it,"

Clarke did as told, slowly opening it up.  As she suspected, a ring sat in the white fabric, glittering up at her.  "You said—"

"It's a promise ring," Lexa said, scooting closer.  "Not a promise for a wedding or for anything we're not ready for.  So please don't pass out on me," she gave a nervous laugh.  "But a promise that we'll make it through this."

"Through what?"  Clarke asked, looking back up at Lexa.

"Long distance," Lexa laughed.  "Getting mad at each other for being busy.  Missing Skype movie nights because of work.  Fighting over the phone.  Missing each other," Lexa sniffled, biting her lip.  "It’s a promise that no matter how many days we go either fighting or not talking or missing each other or a _nything_ , that I'll still—I'll still," she cleared her throat.

Clarke smiled, feeling her eyes go watery.  Lexa wasn't much better.  "Lexa," she sighed, settling the box on her lap.  "Don't cry," she whispered, cradling Lexa's face with her hand.

"You're crying too," Lexa said, her lip quivering.  "I'm sorry I've been awful at this.  It—it's a promise that I'll try harder.  And be more considerate.  And—"

Clarke cut her off, pressing a hard kiss against her lips.  Lexa leaned into the kiss, bringing a hand up to Clarke's head, resting it gently atop her hair.  Clarke pulled back slowly, sniffling.  "You're so extra, who buys a promise ring from Tiffany's?"  She laughed, looking back down at the box.

Lexa laughed too, swiping at her cheeks.  "It was the prettiest one I saw."

"Lexa, how much was this?"  Clarke asked, taking it gently from the box.

"Worth every penny," Lexa smiled, watching as Clarke admired it.

Clarke glanced up at her.  "Don't tell me it was absurd—"

"I can afford it, I promise."  Lexa assured her.  "Do you like it?"

Clarke nodded.  "I love it."

It was a small ring.  The diamond atop it was cut into a delicate heart shape, sitting atop a thin band of smaller, round diamonds.  It was utterly gorgeous.

Clearing her throat, Clarke looked back at Lexa.  "I don't think," she breathed, "I'm ready for any kind of engagement."

Lexa nodded.  "I know."

"But I'm ready to promise I'll try harder, too."  She looked down at the ring in her palm.  "Would you be entirely opposed to the idea of me wearing it on my right hand?"

"Not at all," Lexa said, swallowing.  "Are you—is it okay?  Am I freaking you out?"

Clarke slipped the ring on her right hand's ring finger, admiring the way it glittered.

Slowly, Clarke shook her head.  "I think I might be falling in love with you," she murmured, looking up at Lexa once more.

Lexa's eyes softened.  "Really?"

Clarke nodded, feeling her cheeks heat up.  "I think so," she said, voice soft.

"I think I might be falling in love with you, too," Lexa breathed, pulling Clarke closer to her.

* * *

Once they made their way back to the hotel, Clarke fell back on the plush bed.  "I'm exhausted."

Lexa chuckled, slipping off her flats.  "Me, too.  I'm not quite feeling the fancy evening anymore.  It's so far away,"

"Good," Clarke sighed.  "I didn’t want to burst your bubble.  Can we do the fancy evening tomorrow?"

"Sure," Lexa said, crawling next to Clarke on the bed.  She pulled Clarke close to her body, snuggling into her as she nestled her nose in the crook of Clarke's shoulder. 

Clarke hummed in content.  "Today was amazing.  Thank you,"

"Thank _you_ for being so amazing," Lexa responded, pressing a soft kiss against Clarke's skin.

Clarke grinned, running her fingertips down Lexa's back.  "I never did get to properly thank you for such a beautiful ring," she said, cocking an eyebrow. 

Lexa pulled back, her forehead creasing.  "What do you mean?"

Clarke grinned at that, moving so that she was atop Lexa, straddling her.  "I think," she whispered, licking her lips, "you're about to figure out."

Clarke bent over, pressing her lips against Lexa's neck.  She nipped at the sensitive skin with her teeth, sucking gently.  Placing hot, wet kisses up the expanse of Lexa's neck, Clarke let her hands knead into Lexa's sides.  Lexa let out a shaky breath beneath her, tilting her head to the side to give Clarke more room.  Clarke smirked against Lexa's skin, biting down roughly, eliciting a sharp gasp from Lexa.  Sitting back upright, Clarke grabbed the ends of the skirt on her dress, pulling the material over her head.  Casting the dress to the side, she grinned back down at Lexa.

Lexa's hands found their way to the lacy material of Clarke's bra.  She kneaded the soft flesh, admiring the way Clarke's pale skin looked in such dark violet material.  As Clarke bent over once more, she ground her hips into Lexa's, bringing her lips back to Lexa's skin.  She kissed her way down Lexa's neck, grinding slow and steady into her.  Her hand crept down Lexa's body, sliding easily under her skirt, Clarke's fingertips sliding up Lexa's inner thigh.  Lexa arched up at the contact, a small whimper breaking through her lips.  Clarke moved her hand higher, still sucking angry red marks into Lexa's skin, feeling the lacy barrier between her hand and Lexa's flesh.  Softly, Clarke rubbed her fingers over the damp material, her other hand tangling itself in Lexa's braid.  Lexa ground her hips down, meeting Clarke's fingers with every rub.

Lexa panted, feeling her skin flush all over her body, feeling herself growing wetter.  Clarkes lips and hands were all too much too fast—she was already a puddle of need, molding to every movement Clarke made.  "My dress," she gasped out, loving the way Clarke's tongue soothed the angry bites on her neck.  "Take it off,"

Clarke laughed, "Aye, aye, Commander." Lexa groaned.  Clarke rose an eyebrow.  "You like being called names in bed, Commander?"  Clarke asked, her fingers pressing hard into Lexa's clit.

"Fuck, Clarke,"  Lexa arched her back.  "Take it _off_ ,"

With a grin, Clarke did as told, helping Lexa get the material overhead.  Tossing it aside aimlessly, Clarke went back to work, pressing kisses down Lexa's neck once more.  Her lips hovered over Lexa's chest, before Clarke kissed all the way down her sternum, down her stomach, until she pressed a soft, open mouthed kiss right below Lexa's navel, just above the top of her lacy underwear.

Lexa's hips rolled upwards at the contact, eliciting a low groan from Clarke.  Clarke made quick work of tugging the panties down Lexa's legs, throwing them carelessly aside.  She kissed up Lexa's leg, from her ankle all the way to the inside of her thigh, hot breath ghosting over where Lexa wanted her.  With an indignant cry, Lexa's hands came to Clarke's hair, tugging upwards.  Clarke grinned, ignoring Lexa's protests, peppering her thighs, her hipbones, her stomach with kisses.

By the time Clarke decided to put Lexa out of her misery, slipping a finger through Lexa's folds, she found how drenched her girlfriend was.  Lexa let out a moan at the contact, whispering over and over, "Please, Clarke, please,"  Clarke relented, slipping a finger into Lexa.  Lexa groaned, her eyes fluttering shut as she gripped the sheets with white knuckles.  Clarke moved slowly, her middle finger working its way in and out of Lexa gently.  " _More_ ," Lexa pleaded, her nerves tingling with every sensation.

Clarke obeyed, slipping another finger into Lexa.  This time, she curled her fingers ever so gently, pressing up against Lexa's walls.  Lexa clenched around her fingers, pulling her in closer, needing _more more more_. 

Gently, Clarke gripped at Lexa's hip with her right hand as her left curled inside Lexa.   She rubbed Lexa's front wall slowly, dragging out the pleasure with each thrust of her fingers.  Lexa was a mewling mess, thrashing on the sheets, moaning expletives followed by Clarke's name. 

With a wicked grin, Clarke slipped her fingers out of Lexa.  Lexa gave a long whine, eyes opening wide.  "What are you—"

Clarke shushed her, crawling back up Lexa's body.  After kissing her lips softly, she flipped them over, laying under Lexa.  Spreading Lexa's legs above her, Clarke pulled Lexa up her body, her left hand going back to Lexa's center.  "Ride," she said, slipping her fingers back in Lexa.

Lexa groaned, sinking down onto Clarke's fingers.  Resting her own hands on Clarke's chest, she ground her hips down, working towards her release.  Clarke aided Lexa's efforts, curling her fingers as Lexa's hips did most the work, bringing her other hand up to join.  Using her right hand, she let her fingertips swirl around Lexa's clit, bringing her close.

"Fuck, Clarke, don't stop," Lexa whined, her thrusts becoming erratic. 

"Are you close?" Clarke rasped, pupils dilated in desire, watching Lexa drip down her hand.

Lexa nodded, biting her lip.  Whimpering low, she sped up her thrusts, hips becoming quicker, jerkier.

Clarke didn't relent.  She picked up the pace inside Lexa, curling her fingers faster to match her thrusts.  Her fingertips sped in their circles on her clit, bringing Lexa close, closer, _there_.

Lexa came with a hoarse moan, hands squeezing the flesh of Clarke's breasts. Her hips jerked uncontrollably, walls squeezing around Clarke's fingers, head thrown back in ecstasy.  Clarke eased her down from her high, her fingers' curling slowing gradually, her circling becoming feather light.  With a final jerk of the hips Lexa's climax came to an end.

Clarke pulled her fingers out from Lexa gently, watching as Lexa brought her head up straight once more.  Their eyes locked, and Lexa gave a bashful smile through red cheeks. She rested against Clarke's body, muscles feeling like jelly. 

Clarke brought her fingers to her lips, tasting Lexa on her skin.  Lexa swallowed at the sight, watching Clarke's eyes flutter closed.  "You taste so good Lexa."  Lexa felt heat pool in her stomach, watching Clarke suckle at her own fingers.  "I want to taste you more," Clarke said, opening her eyes once more.  While scooting her own body down the bed, Clarke pulled Lexa higher.

"Clarke, I'm still sensitive," Lexa murmured, grasping at the headboard as Clarke positioned her above her face.

"I'll be gentle," Clarke promised, hands coming to Lexa's hips.  Pulling Lexa down to meet her face, Clarke moaned, the taste of her release fresh against her pink skin.

Lexa groaned, feeling Clarke's tongue move through her folds, purposefully avoiding her clit.  While it was probably a good idea—Lexa was so sensitive, it might hurt, after all—she _needed_ Clarke to move higher, to take her bud into her mouth, to give her release once more.

Her knuckles went white, gripping the headboard as Clarke's hands kneaded at her ass.  Clarke's tongue moved effortlessly through Lexa's wetness, lapping up every inch of her she could get.  Clarke's tongue circled her opening, pressing lightly, before dipping in.

Lexa gasped at the feeling, hips jerking into Clarke's mouth.  Clarke pulled Lexa impossibly closer, tongue splaying out inside of Lexa.  Lexa couldn't help the high moans that came from her throat, nor the way her hips ground down into Clarke's face.  Clarke rubbed her own thighs together on the bed, desperate for some relief for the ache between her legs. 

Clarke pulled out slowly, lips finding their way back around Lexa's clit.  It only took a few minutes of gentle licking and sucking before Lexa was coming again, riding out her pleasure.

Lexa's whole body was flushed with heat and color as Clarke flipped them over once more, resting Lexa on her back.  Lexa was panting, eyes squeezed shut, hand reaching for Clarke's.

Clarke smiled at the gesture, threading her fingers through Lexa's.

"Oh my god," Lexa panted, opening her eyes.  "I don't think I've ever come that hard before,"

Clarke chuckled at that, giving Lexa's hand a squeeze.  Lexa's thumb rubbed over Clarke's ring, feeling the rough diamond on her right hand.  "Was that a good thank you?"

"A great thank you,"  Lexa hummed, giving Clarke a soft smile.  Moving forward, she let her lips fall gently onto Clarke's, pulling them into a steady rhythm of push and pull.  There was some sense of divinity in this; lying post-bliss, tasting herself on her lover's lips, utterly sated and warm.  With their hands still clasped together, Lexa let her free hand wiggle up from beneath her body, slipping it between Clarke's cheek and the pillow.  "I think it’s your turn, now," she whispered, giving Clarke a grin as she pulled back.

As Lexa kissed her way down Clarke's body, as she let herself drink Clarke up, as she eased Clarke through her high, her hand never once left Clarke's.

* * *

 

A few hours later, once the sun had gone down completely and the two lovers had tired themselves out, Clarke pressed a soft kiss to Lexa's temple.  "I still haven't given you your gift," she smiled, lazily climbing out of bed.  Lexa pulled herself up, resting her back against the headboard, watching the movements of her girlfriend.  Clarke dug through her duffle bag, pulling out a few small, wrapped presents from the bottom, where she'd carefully hidden them.  She made her way back into bed, throwing the covers back over her bare body as she rested the gifts on Lexa's lap.

Lexa smiled, picking the smallest one up.  "You didn't have to," she said, glancing over at her girlfriend. 

Clarke smiled giddily.  "Open 'em," she urged Lexa.

Lexa laughed at Clarke's eagerness, pulling the wrapping paper off the smaller gift first.  Seeing a black box, she lifted the lid, smiling at what she saw.  She made quick work of taking the necklace out of the box, fastening it around her neck.

"It's no Tiffany's ring," Clarke laughed, her cheeks heating.  "But you love black, and I thought onyx would look so pretty on you," she shrugged, trailing off.

Lexa looked down at the pendant on her chest, admiring the way the black gem looked against her skin.  "I love it," she breathed, honestly, giving Clarke a quick kiss.  "Thank you,"

Clarke nodded, pushing up the other one.  "Go on,"

Lexa tore at the paper, smiling when she saw a sweatshirt inside.  It was battered and worn, the black lettering of "ARK UNIVERSITY" fading against the gray, but Lexa loved it.  "Is this yours?"  She asked Clarke, pulling it out of the wrapping paper completely.

"Yeah," Clarke said, running her fingertips over it.  "I got it the day I found out I was accepted.  As you can tell, I kind of wear it a lot," she laughed.  "But…I thought it would be nice.  Something of mine to hold close."

Lexa slipped the sweatshirt over her bare body, falling in love with how soft the material still was.  She could nuzzle right into it and fall asleep.  Bringing the material between her fingers, Lexa lifted the sweatshirt up to her nose.  "It smells like you," she commented, smiling against the fabric.  "It’s perfect."

"I'm glad," Clarke said, resting her head on Lexa's shoulder.

"Clarke, would you kill me if I said I got you more stuff?"  Lexa asked sheepishly, already fearing the reprimanding she'd get from her girlfriend for spending so much.

Clarke pulled away from Lexa, shaking her head in disbelief.  "Lexa!" She laughed, swatting at her arm.  "No you didn’t," she said, rolling her eyes.

Lexa gave her a toothy smile, before opening the side table's drawer.  Pulling out a black bag, she sat it on Clarke's lap.

"Lexa," Clarke warned, taking the red tissue paper out.  Staring in the bag in disbelief, she said, "You bought me makeup?"

"I love doing my makeup," Lexa said, scooting closer.  "And it's really fun.  And I figured I could—well, teach you how to do it.  If you want,"

Clarke dumped the bag out on the bed, staring at the contents.  "Chocolate BonBons?  Chocolate Bar?  Semi Sweet?  Lexa, what is this?"  She laughed, picking up the palettes.

"I figured it was a creative alternative to the commonplace Valentine's Day chocolate," she blushed.

"You nerd," Clarke shoved Lexa.  After placing them back in the bag, she set the bag aside, shaking her head.  "Thank you.  But you spent way too much,"

"I feel bad," Lexa sighed, fingers pressing into the necklace around her neck.  "You gave me such meaningful gifts.  I just wanted to spoil you," Lexa laughed.

Clarke gave Lexa a small smile.  "Well…it never hurts to be spoiled.  And I think you gave me a pretty damn meaningful ring."

Lexa laughed at that.  "Come on, I'm tired.  You wore me out, Griffin."

Clarke smiled, pulling Lexa into her body.  After nuzzling her nose against the back of Lexa's neck, Clarke brought the covers up around them, enveloping them in warmth.

"Hey, Clarke?" 

"Yeah?"

"I'm definitely falling in love with you."

Clarke smiled against Lexa's skin.

"I'm falling in love with you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys. First of all, I want to take the time to thank you all for being so patient. Life is hectic, but that's hardly an excuse for a two month wait. In all reality, I had a hard time writing after 307. What they did...was just awful. I threw myself into writing Elyza Lex fics as a coping mechanism, but even that became too hard for me. It just wasn't good for my mental health. 307 caused a lot of problems with my anxiety. For weeks after the episode aired, I was battling my own internal demons that resurfaced after Lexa's death. When I was fifteen, I was finding out who I was, and I was scared. I found solace in The 100, because of the portrayal of Clarke and Lexa's relationship. The show, the couple, helped me get through the hardest times of my life. When my grandpa, one of my best friends, died, I buried myself away and took comfort in what I considered then my favorite show. When my aunt passed away only weeks later, I distracted myself from the pain with clexa fics. On particularly bad days when my sexual orientation caused me to have major anxiety, I found solace in the hope I had for Clarke and Lexa--and the hope it gave me that one day, I would be happy, and I'd realize there's nothing wrong with being who I am. That I can have a beautiful, epic, amazing love story of my own, like Clarke and Lexa. When Lexa died, it honestly felt like a part of me died, too. I had been burying so many negative feelings by being actively engaged in this ship for so long, and they all came bubbling out. Being baited the way we were by Jason Rothenburg and Kim Shumway is disgusting. It's deplorable. They gave us promises and hope, and they took it away like it meant nothing. A whole year. I spent a year dedicated to this show, to having hope, to seeing myself in Lexa and Clarke. And they took it away like it meant nothing. 
> 
> I had a particularly bad day a few weeks after Lexa died. On Easter of this year, I locked myself away in my room and cried all day. I haven't told anybody this, but the thought of suicide did cross my mind. That day I felt utterly hopeless. Being raised in a catholic family is hard enough when you're queer--but having all of the negativity that was spurned from Lexa's death piling on top of all the negativity I already had in my life was almost too much. It was just the most mentally exhausting day of my life. It was full of anxiety, it was full of feeling like I would go to hell, and it was a full day of feeling utterly hopeless.
> 
> Clarke and Lexa were my "maybe someday" as much as they were each others'. For a few personal reasons I'm not ready to disclose, I can't be with a girl. Not at this stage in my life. I want to--but for actual economic and social reasons, being out would be a real endangerment to my family and myself. Seeing their love develop gave me hope that one day, I could love someone like the way they loved each other. It was my hope that one day, someone would be as devoted to me as Clarke and Lexa were. It was my hope that I would be happy. And Jason took that hope away, like it meant nothing.
> 
> Writing for them has been incredibly hard for me. I've given this chapter my all, but it's probably pretty lackluster. I'm sorry for that. I can't see the name Lexa without getting emotional, without feeling betrayed, without feeling like my hope is gone. It's getting easier, but I don't think it will be something that is truly easy for me as it was before any time soon. 
> 
> I wanted to give up writing all together, but you guys are amazing. Your positivity and encouragement along the way is what made me want to finish this fic. I love you all so much, thank you for being so patient. I hope you all liked this chapter, even though I'm not very happy with it. 
> 
> I hope all of you are doing well in the aftermath of 307. I'm not....mentally capable enough to support people who are going through what I am. I want to, I really do, but it's so hard for me. If you're feeling any of the things I felt in the aftermath of this disgusting bury your gays trope, please reach out for help. Know that you aren't alone.
> 
> I hope I'll update soon, but? I don't know, I'm sorry guys. I'll try my best to update soon.
> 
> I changed my username again (yikes I do that a lot) because a Lexa url was just too much for me. So, come on and visit me at misselizajanes.tumblr.com if you want!


	13. Epilogue.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are we all growing up?"

_One Year, Four Months later_

"Raven!  Can you hand me that box?"

Tucking her hand behind her ear, Raven nodded.  She wiped her sweaty palms on her denim-clad legs before bending over, hoisting the heavy box up to her chest.  "Here you go," she said, a huff of breath slipping past her lips as the weight was all but tossed into Clarke's arms.

Clarke gave a grateful smile, heading out the open apartment door.

A moment after she was gone, Octavia spoke. 

"Can’t we convince her to stay?"

Raven scrunched her nose.  "No, she's graduated.  She can't technically live on campus anymore.  We," she gestured between them, "have to."

Octavia nodded, sighing as she leaned back into the wall.  "This place is going to feel empty.  It's just you and me, now,"

Raven gave a soft smile.  "I don't think that will be a problem,"

Octavia returned her smile.  "No, not a problem.  Just—"

"It'll be weird without Clarke."

"Yeah."

A pause.

"Oh fuck," a new voice interrupted.  Bellamy groaned, carrying a large box.  "This is heavy.  Thank god it's the last one,"

Raven nodded, dropping her hands to her sides.  "Need help carrying it?"

Bellamy shook his head, walking past her.  "Just go make sure nothing else is left in her room,"

As Bellamy left the apartment, box in arms, Raven set off for Clarke's room.  Octavia trailed her, hands clasped behind her back. 

Raven frowned.  "It's so weird," she nodded, "seeing the room bare."

"Your room now," Octavia said, nudging Raven with her elbow. 

"We both know I'll spend most of my time in your room,"  Raven snorted.

"True," Octavia said, moving past Raven's figure.  She walked around the perimeter of Clarke's room, eyes scanning the now-bare walls.  She could see the marks from the putty that used to hold up posters; the furniture marks on the carpet; the difference of color from where Clarke's bed used to be, and the rest of the worn, walked on white flooring.  It looked depressing really—it looked like a goodbye.

"You okay?"  Raven asked, opening Clarke's closet.

"Yeah.  I'm just going to miss her."

"She's your sister," Raven hummed.  "It's understandable. I'll miss her, too."  Raven scanned the racks, making sure no clothes were left behind.  "All clear," she mumbled, stepping back and letting the closet door click shut gently.

"All clear," Octavia mimicked, doing one last quick visual sweep of the room. 

A knock at the doorframe caught their attention.  Echo smiled, sticking her head into the room.  "Lexa and Anya are here.  Clarke's all set to go,"

Feeling her eyes prickle with hot tears, Octavia nodded.  "Okay.  Okay, thanks, Echo."

Raven slipped her hand into Octavia's, giving her a tug.  "Come on," she said, cocking her head towards the door.  Octavia gave Raven's hand a squeeze, following her lead.

-

"I missed you, I missed you, I missed you," Lexa mumbled, pulling Clarke into a tight hug.  "Even two weeks was far too long.  Never again."

"Well, we don't need to worry about that anymore," Clarke laughed, only holding on to Lexa tighter.  She sighed happily, resting her cheek against Lexa's, arms rested on her waist.  "You didn’t need to drive here, you know,"

"What?  And let you drive a U-Haul all by yourself?"  Lexa laughed, pulling back.  "I think it's a rite of passage for us.  Literally U-Hauling together."

"Can't get any gayer than that!"  Anya called, smirking from the back of the moving trailer.  "Bellamy, move your ass, I need to get this lamp in!"

Clarke rolled her eyes, gesturing to Anya.  "Oh yes.  Cause, you know, the stereotype definitely includes one of said gay girls' sisters driving with them," she teased.

"Well, someone has to drive my car back."  Lexa laughed, hands resting on Clarke's hips.

In a swift movement, Clarke raised her hand, swiping a few strands of brown hair out of Lexa's face.  Lifting herself on to her tip toes, Clarke pressed a soft kiss against Lexa's lips, hand cupping the back of Lexa's head gently.  She could feel Lexa's lips stretch into a smile underneath her own; she could feel Lexa's fingers glide up slowly, digging softly into the skin exposed between her jean shorts and her tee shirt.

"I love you," Clarke mumbled, lips brushing against Lexa's with each movement. 

Lexa hummed, pressing a last, soft peck.  "I love you, too," she said, pulling back slowly.  "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Clarke nodded, reaching out to grab one of Lexa's hands.  Giving it a reassuring squeeze, she said, "I'm positive.  We've already kicked Anya out, after all," she laughed.

Anya jumped out the back of the trailer, snorting.  "Yeah.  Thanks for the month heads up," she deadpanned, pulling the back of the trailer shut, locking it in place.

"Sorry to interrupt you two," Bellamy said, smacking his hands against his shorts.  "But the last box is all packed up."  He reached into his pocket, digging for a moment, until he found the key.  He handed it to Lexa, saying, "Don't let Clarke drive, she can't even drive a pickup.  I don't think anyone should be subjected to her hauling a trailer around."

Lexa chuckled, taking the keys in her open hand.  "I wasn't planning on it.  Driving this through the city is going to be a bitch,"

"Is it even legal?"  Clarke asked after a moment, scrunching her eyebrows.

Lexa hummed.  "Guess we'll find out."

"That's reassuring,"

"Your room's all clear!"  Raven called from the apartment's entrance, all but dragging Octavia behind her.  Echo let the door click shut gently, before following the other two down to greet her sisters. 

"Thanks, guys,"  Clarke said, pulling her hand from Lexa's.  "Bell just packed up the last box, so," she nodded towards the truck.  "I should probably start the goodbyes,"

Echo gave her a quick hug, swollen belly pressing into Clarke's.  "Don't drive her crazy, Clarke," she winked, hand coming to rest on her stomach as she pulled away.

"I'll try not to," Clarke rolled her eyes.  Resting her hand above Echo's navel, she said, "Take good care of my godson.  I'll fly out once he's born.  Remember your prenatal vitamins!"  She added as an afterthought, eyes wide.  "Bellamy, don't let her forget them!"  She said, looking over at the man.

Bellamy raised his hands.  "Yes, Ma'am," he mock saluted, stepping towards her.  "Do you have your credit cards?"

"Yes,"

"And your ID?"

"Yes, Bellamy."

"Do you have enough cash for the drive?  If you want to stop for food?  If you need it?"

" _Yes_ , Dad," Clarke rolled her eyes, giving him a quick hug.  "You've triple checked everything yourself, you know I have everything."

Bellamy sighed, rubbing a hand on the small of her back.  "I just worry about you.  Going off without us.  Promise me you'll call?"

"Of course," Clarke said, pulling away.  "I promise."  It seemed to be good enough for Bellamy, who stepped aside to allow Raven to come forward.

Raven gave Clarke a wide smile.  "I love you," she said, pressing a swift kiss to her cheek as she pulled her into a hug.  "Any time you and Lexa want to come back to visit, we have a spare, now that you and Bell are both out," she muttered.  Glaring over Clarke's shoulder at Lexa, Raven lifted one hand from Clarke's back, pointing at her best friend's girlfriend.  "You take good care of her, you hear?"

Lexa smiled, hands behind her back.  "Of course, Raven."

Raven inhaled deeply, nodding once as she pulled back.  She locked eyes with Clarke once more, giving her a wink.  "Call me if you get bored in bed, now that you'll be having sex with her, like, every day,"

"Raven!"  Clarke gasped, swatting her friend's arm.  Clarke shook her head in embarrassment, before her eyes found Octavia's, standing a few feet back.  "You okay?"

Octavia exhaled, chest falling.  "This is it?"

"Yeah," Clarke said, moving closer.

"Everyone's leaving," she said, breathing in slowly.

Clarke frowned.  "Octavia?"

"Bell and Echo got married last month, and they're moving all the way to Boston _next_ month—and they're having a _kid_.  Lincoln left for his business expansion in Europe, you're leaving for New York—why are we all growing up?"

Clarke shook her head slowly, a sad smile on her lips.  She sighed, pulling Octavia into a hug.  "Because we all have to at some point,"

"I'm going to miss you," Octavia mumbled, tucking her chin onto Clarke's shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you, too, Octavia," she hugged her tight.  "I love you,"

Octavia nodded, arms dropping from around Clarke.  She sniffled, stepping back.  "When will we all see each other again?"

"We'll all be together for Thanksgiving, O," Bell said, wrapping an arm around his wife. 

"And then again for Christmas, you know we always have that huge get together," Clarke reminded her.

"And we'll start doing summer vacations—you heard Mom and Abby talking about them, we're going to make sure we get together, O."

"And I'm positive we'll all be in the delivery room the second we get the call," Clarke smiled, glancing over at Echo.

"Not to mention the bachelorette parties," Anya piped up, tossing a wink at her sister.

"What?"  Raven asked, looking between Clarke and Lexa.  "When did you—"

"They haven't," Anya waved her hand as though it was a trifling matter.  "But we all know it’s coming soon,"

Lexa hummed, a soft smile on her lips.  "Perhaps,"

Clarke's eyes went wide, "Wait, really?"

"Well, we _have_ talked about it, love," Lexa shrugged, pulling Clarke into her side.  Pressing a soft kiss to her temple, she said, "But that's still a decent ways in the future, Anya."

Raven rubbed her hand between Octavia's shoulders.  "Octavia, we're going to be so busy with senior year anyway, we'll hardly know they're gone.  We'll all be together soon, okay?"

Octavia nodded, swiping at her eyes.  She cleared her throat, before lifting her chin.  "I expect you to Skype me at least once a week, Griffin."

"Deal," Clarke grinned.

"And I expect more than two word texts,"

"I think I can handle that."

-

Once they were on the road, Clarke took a deep breath.

"You know," She said, looking over at Lexa.  "Just because we're all going separate ways doesn't mean this is goodbye.  We're a family, now, all of us," she nodded her head, before turning to look out the window at the setting sun.  "We'll always find our way back to each other."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!
> 
> I know some of you may be disappointed I chose to end it here. I know some things are left open or unexplained, and I totally get that it may feel like a cop-out. The truth is, I love this fic. It's my baby. It's the first major-length thing I've ever written, but I feel it's time for me to move on to new things.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for all the love and support you've given me with this fic! I hope you enjoyed the little epilogue, even if you wanted more. Maybe one day I'll come back to this fic and fill in the chapters between the last and this epilogue, but for now, this is it.
> 
> If it's any consolation, this is how I always planned to end the fic, anyway.
> 
> I love you all! Thank you for all your support.
> 
> <3 Thank you for everything. I love each and every one of you!


	14. Bonus.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Raven and Octavia come in to visit, a surprise is planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I ended this story with the epilogue a little while back, but I still have infinite love for my baby fic. As such, I felt so bad leaving the story the way it was, even though I did my best to bring a closure to it that would've made sense. I'm working on other fics right now on my new account -- find me over at sapphicstardust to read them! -- but I've hit a bit of writer's block. As such, I decided to write a little something in an AU where I was already comfortable and had found my rhythm to pump those creative juices again. As such, I've written a little bonus chapter as a thank you to all of you who had such lovely things to say. Thank you!

“Raven...can I trust you to keep this a  _ secret _ ?  You do know what  _ secret  _ means, don’t you?”

 

“Aye, aye, Lexa, sir!”  Raven mock saluted, rolling her eyes.  “Lexa, you know I can keep my mouth shut.”  Crossing her arms, Lexa gave the woman a pointed stare.  “Alright.  So maybe not  _ all  _ the time.  But most--”

 

“You told Clarke about getting the kitten before I even had the chance to surprise her,”

 

“Fair point, but--”

 

“ _ And  _ about me finally getting reservations to that fancy steakhouse she’s wanted to try.  How did you even know I reserved that table?”

 

“Friend of a friend works there, told me.  Anyway, Lexa, I  _ promise _ \--”

 

“You also promised not to tell her I was going to ask her to move here with me, but lo and behold I get a frantic phone call at four in the morning of Clarke worrying about why I hadn’t asked yet, if I was realizing I didn’t love her, on and on and on, Raven!”

 

“Look,” Raven said, pointing her finger.  “I’m not the problem here, well all know I can’t keep my mouth shut.  You should know better than to tell me secrets by now,” she grinned cheekily, poking her tongue out at Lexa.  Letting her hand drop to her side, Raven sighed, walking closer to her friend’s girlfriend.  Placing both hands on Lexa’s arms, Raven gave her a gentle shake.  “I promise, Lexa.  Pinkie swear.  She’ll never, ever know.”

 

Lexa glared at Raven, unmoving.  “I should’ve had Octavia help with this,”

 

Releasing one of Lexa’s arms, Raven held up her pinky.  “Pinky swear on this bitch and I won’t say a word,”

 

Reluctantly, Lexa brought a pinkie up to meet Raven’s.  “Fine.  I’m trusting you, Raven.  You can’t tell Clarke,” she said, seriously.  “You and Octavia take her out today while An and I go pick it up, okay?  And don’t say a word!  You can’t come home until I send the text,”

 

Raven smacked a kiss around their entwined pinkies, giving Lexa a wink.  “Done deal.”

 

-

 

Anya stood behind the camera, adjusting the tripod.  “Alrighty, then,” she clucked her tongue, stepping back.  Bending slightly, she looked into the viewfinder.  “I think we’re all set,”

 

Lexa smiled, thanking her sister as she pressed record.  She turned to Clarke.  “You ready?”

 

“As I’ll ever be,” Clarke said, pressing a soft kiss to her girlfriend’s jaw.  

 

Lexa shot her a quick wink, before turning to the camera.  “Hey guys, it’s Lexa, and I’m here with my beautiful girlfriend, Clarke.”  Clarke waved at the small recorder before slipping her hand around her girlfriend’s waist.  She listened as Lexa rambled on, eyes watching her girlfriend’s face intently.  She saw Raven and Anya scurrying around behind the camera, hiding in the small kitchenette across from the living room, occasionally poking their heads out.  Opting to ignore the two--they  _ had  _ been acting weird, lately, though--she focused her attention back on Lexa.

 

“We figured now’s the best time to do it.  We’ve been living here for...about three months now?  And we’ve settled in well.  May as well celebrate with a tag you’ve all been waiting for.  Ready, babe?” Lexa asked, kissing the corner of Clarke’s mouth.

 

“I don’t know why we haven’t done the girlfriend tag sooner,” Clarke laughed, turning her head slightly to meet Lexa’s lips for a chaste peck.  “We’ve been dating forever now.”

 

“Probably because we hardly got anything filmed when we were together before we moved in,” Lexa smirked, leaning back a little ways away from Clarke.  “We were...too busy doing other things.”

 

Clarke balked at that, swatting her girlfriend’s arm.  “You think you’re some smooth stud, don’t you?”  

 

Grinning, Lexa unlocked her phone, pulling up the questions.  “Yes I do.  Okay, question number one: where and when did you first meet?”  Lexa looked up at Clarke, her cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling so much.  “Well, this one basically stalked me into dated her via social media,” she tapped Clarke’s nose teasingly.

 

Rolling her eyes, Clarke laughed.  “Yep.  That’s exactly how it went down.  Next question?”

 

“First date?  Oh, easy.  At the Museum of Natural History, Clarke’s favorite place,”

 

“Yes it is,”  Clarke hummed.

 

“Where was your first kiss?  Who initiated it?”  Lexa read, looking back up at Clarke.

 

“Oooh, our first kiss was right next to the Hope Diamond.  Lexa did, she’s such a softie.  It was all romantic and shit,”

 

“Ah, yes.” Lexa said, shaking her head.  “That’s how we want the world to commemorate us.  As ‘romantic and shit,’”

 

They cycled through the questions, for the most part quickly, stopping every now and then to delve deeper into stories.

 

_ Favorite memory together?  Easy, the time Clarke tried skateboarding with me and wiped out.  It was hilarious. _

 

_ Lexa!  A fractured ankle is not hilarious! _

 

_ ….It was hilarious. _

 

_ Well,  _ mine  _ would have to be spending our first Valentine’s Day together.  Unlike Lexa here, I actually value the romantic moments. _

 

_ Hey!  I value them, I just find the beauty in the small things, you know? _

 

_ My boot was anything but small. _

 

…

 

_ Did you know I was a lesbian when you met me?  Well...I certainly hope so, Clarke. _

 

_ I mean.  If the lesbian youtube channel and the ungodly amounts of flannels you wear in your videos didn’t cover it…Did you know I was bi, Lexa? _

 

_ You were coming onto me stronger than hurricane Katrina, Clarke.  And you were just about as wet.  I think I had a pretty clear indication that you weren’t straight... _

 

_ … _

 

_ What’s my favorite color, Clarke? _

 

_ Easy.  Black, but red to wear.  Wait-- or is it red, but black to wear? _

 

_ Well. That used to be true, but I have to say, my favorite color has changed. _

 

_ Really? _

 

_ Mm-hmm. _

 

_ To what? _

 

_ Blue. _

 

_ You sap. _

 

_ … _

 

_ Hmm.  My favorite thing about Clarke’s personality….is definitely her ability to love.  She loves so fully...it’s beautiful.  She gives love to people even who don’t deserve it.  And trust me, you want Clarke’s love--because it’s just about the most selfless, giving love in the world.   _

 

_ You really are being quite the sap today, Lexa.   _

 

_ For you?  Always will be, puddin’. _

 

_ Was that a Harley impersonation? _

 

_ Yeah.  It was.  We need to coordinate those outfits again for Halloween.  Though this time…..not with the Joker.  I got soooo much backlash for that.  Rightfully so.  He is an abusive asshole to her and I didn’t think about….the consequences of hitting on a girl dressed as Harley.  But the costume was all I had from a shitty campus show back in like...sophomore year...we did some weird Batman musical...and you were looking...so good...in those thigh highs… _

 

_ Need some water, Lex? _

 

_ I’m always thirsty for you. _

 

_ Maybe you should dress up like Ivy this year.  Show ‘em what a healthy relationship looks like.   _

 

_ I don’t have the boobs for it. _

 

_ Mm. I think your boobs are quite lovely.   _

 

_ Speaking of boobs, that’s definitely my favorite part of you physically.  Like. Oh my God.  I could spend all day-- _

 

_ Alright, keep it PG-13.  Kids watch your channel, Lex. _

 

_ Right, right.  But honestly….your boobs. _

 

_ For me it’s definitely your ass. _

 

_ What? _

 

_ What can I say?  I’m an ass girl, and you’ve got a  _ delicious  _ ass.  Oh--shit fuck.  Now they’re going to take that out of context.  I’m not into eating ass, alright?  I don’t eat Lexa’s ass!  I just like grabbing it.  It’s so...plump. _

 

_ I can already see the gifs being made of you saying “I DON’T EAT LEXA’S ASS” and of course all they’re going to do is make people think you eat my ass. _

 

_ I don’t though!  We’re not into butt stuff!  Now, rope stuff.  Call me a rope bunny-- _

 

_ Clarke!  Now you need to keep it PG-13! _

 

_ Sorry, sorry. _

 

_...And there goes Octavia plugging her ears.  Don’t think we don’t know what kinds of kinky things Raven does to you, O!  She always tells us....even when we  _ really  _ don’t want to know. _

 

_ … _

 

_ Who wears the pants in our relationship, Lexa? _

 

_ Uh.  I think we can all agree that I wear the pants.  But you control the zipper. _

 

_ Damn straight. _

 

_ Clarke, there’s nothing straight about this relationship. _

 

_ Thank god. _

 

_ … _

 

_ Are our parents accepting of our relationship?  Well.  My mother is.  My father’s pretty homophobic, but I haven’t seen him in years, anyway. _

 

_ Yeah...both my parents love Lexa!  Have we ever told you guys about the Thanksgiving fiasco? _

 

_ … _

 

_ Do we do PDA? _

 

_ Oh, yeah we do. _

 

_ Damn right.  If I want to grab my girlfriend’s ass at Central Park, you better bet that I’m going to. _

 

_ What is it with you and my ass today? _

 

_ I’m having withdrawals.  I haven’t squeezed it in like, an hour. _

 

_ Hmm.  We need to rectify that immedia--CLARKE! _

 

_ What?  I just pinched your ass, no big deal.  You said-- _

 

_ Not on camera! _

 

_ … _

 

_ Clarke, what’s one thing I do that you hate? _

 

_ Oh my god where do I start.  You always forget to pay the bills.  Like, how did you manage before I got here?  You hate turning off the TV and lights so you drain our bill.  You literally just got Pokemon Go and you’re asking me what an eevee is.  An eevee!  It’s one of the most well known pokemon! _

 

_...Are you done? _

 

_ No.  You always forget to put your toothbrush back in the holder.  Do you know how dirty the bristles get when you just set it down on the counter? _

 

_ Clarke, please.  I’ve sustained enough injury from your stabbing words. _

 

_ Fine, fine.  Go on, roast me. _

 

_ ….I hate that you hardly wash your bras.  That’s so gross. _

 

_ We can’t all be obsessive bra cleaners like you. _

 

_ Once a month is not obsessive!  I have yet to see you wash that bra since you bought it two and a half months ago. _

 

_ Potato, tomato. _

 

_ Oh my god, that’s another thing I hate. You say “potato, tomato.”  Like who the fuck says that?  It’s either “po-tay-to, po-tah-toe” or “toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe,” Clarke.  You can’t just combine them together. _

 

_ That’s the irony in it! _

 

_ That’s not irony, you dweeb, that’s just silly! _

 

_ … _

 

“And finally, what’s one thing we are going to do together that you are excited for?”  Lexa asked, feeling her voice go shaky.  If Clarke had picked up on the small change in her girlfriend’s voice, she didn’t react.

 

“Huh.  Well...we’ve gotten a lot done here at the apartment!  We’ve adopted a little kitten named Minino...Raven named her, I think it’s such a cute name!…”

 

Lexa poked at the pocket on her flannel nervously as she listened to Clarke ramble on.

 

“...we’ve decorated all the rooms and stuff, but we’ve been so  _ busy  _ with work that we haven’t had any time to really  _ enjoy  _ our new home together,” Clarke said, pressing a soft kiss to Lexa’s cheek.  “So I’m excited for the week coming up.  Lexa has the week off and I’ve talked my boss into letting me take off three of those days, so we’ll get to spend a long weekend all wrapped up in each other.  I’m excited,”

 

Lexa nodded, giving her girlfriend a kiss back.  “That will be lovely.”

 

“What about you, Lex?  What are you excited for?”

 

Lexa swallowed.  Looking up momentarily, she saw three heads poke up in the kitchen, suddenly very interested in the conversation.  Raven sent Lexa a wink and a thumbs up.

 

“Well...we have our whole lives ahead of us, together,” Lexa settled on beginning with. “And I’m excited for all of it.”  She wiggled her way out of Clarke’s arms, turning so she faced her girlfriend head on as they sat next to each other on the small loveseat.  “But there’s been one thing...that’s been nagging at me to do.  Because I have all these exciting dreams for us together.  I want the whole enchilada with you, Clarke.  I want the kids and the white picket fence and I want the two in the morning wake up calls from our baby and the four AM wake up calls from the dog barking through the window.  I want it all, and I’m  _ excited  _ for it all,”

 

Clarke smiled, resting her hand atop Lexa’s.  “Me too,”

 

“But...there’s one thing, in particular, that I’m excited about for our future.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Lexa nodded, giving a shy smile.  “Yeah,” she said, free hand coming up to the pocket atop her breast.  Reaching in, she grabbed the small piece of jewelry, holding it out.  Clarke’s eyes widened in realization, shooting between the ring and her girlfriend’s face.  “I’m excited for the day when I can finally call you my wife.  Clarke, will you--”

 

“Yes!  Oh my god, Lexa!”  Clarke laughed, tears spilling down her cheeks.  She threw herself into her girlfriend’s body, hugging her close.  “I didn’t even let you finish,” she cried, bringing a hand up behind Lexa’s body to swipe at her own eyes.  “I’m sorry, I just got so--”

 

Lexa laughed, cutting her off.  She pulled her girlfriend into a tight hug, resting her head on Clarke’s shoulder.  “I love you,” 

 

“I love you, too,”

 

Lexa pulled her head away just enough to press her lips against Clarke’s, eyes fluttering shut.

 

The two stayed there for a long moment, until clapping broke them apart.  Clarke jumped, turning to see Anya, Octavia, and Raven running into the living room.  “Yay!  Lexa, put the ring on, put it on!”  Octavia cheered, leaning into Raven’s side.

 

Lexa chuckled, taking Clarke’s left hand in her own.  Clarke bounced on the couch, giddy, watching as her girlfriend-- _ fiancee _ \--slid the ring on with ease.

 

And finally, after years of long distance, everything fell into place.

 

-

 

(After kicking her sister and Clarke’s two best friends out of their apartment, Lexa had a lot of editing to do.

 

Never leave the camera on after you propose to your girlfriend, or you’ll have a good hours’ worth of footage to delete before you can upload it to YouTube.

 

….or, maybe she should save that portion of the video on another file?

 

“Clarke, honey, we accidentally made a sex tape, should I--”

 

“Yes."

 

"That was....a quick response."

 

 "Save it.  I want to see what it looks like when you’re rawing me.”

  
“Clarke!”)

**Author's Note:**

> Some people have been asking, so you can find my original post on tumblr which inspired this fic here:
> 
> http://annieish.tumblr.com/post/131401062130/modern-the-100-au-lexa-is-a-rising-youtuber
> 
> EDIT 4/8/2017: This account is active once more. My other account, sapphicstardust, accidentally got deleted (me, being a dumb bitch....)


End file.
